The Scarlet Phoenix and the Prince of Winter

Chapter Sixty Four

I know that my brother has a point. I know that he is not just saying this out of sheer frustration, nor he is just theorizing based on chances. I know that as a Royal Guard for almost a decade now, he knows what could have happened to our Aunt out of the hundreds of possibilities.

But I am no Royal Guard. I don't know how investigations work or how it ends or how they make it possible for them to just conclude something without a piece of strong evidence, but I am not following their lead. Just like I said, until there is no body found I will never think that Aunt Milca is dead.

"She c-could be somewhere..." I said weakly, still trying to convince him that their assumptions might be wrong. "He could still be alive, Garreth. Can you really not hold onto that little possibility anymore? Can you not really do that?"

He looked devastated. And I know that he is hurting too, but both of us are, so he did not need to assume things as early as he did to make the pain less painful. That's not what how pain is supposed to be entertained.

"But where is she, Rainha?" he said dramatically. "Where is our Aunt? Everyone is searching for her, and she's still not be found. If she is still alive, where is she? Aure is a small kingdom. And a fair number of people recognize her. Plus, in each town, the Royal Guards had been notified and ordered to conduct a search operation for her. And this is not a one-time search and rescue operation, Rainha. The search for her was added to every town's Royal Guard's routines, in case she was really kidnapped and that she is just waiting for someone to rescue her. But it has been days."

"But you just said it," I said. "What if she's kidnapped? She might be somewhere locked up in a dirty room, you know? And here we are already giving up---"

"I have not given up," he told me with pain reflecting in his glinting eyes. "It's just that I don't want to be in a perpetual state of limbo. If she's dead, then it will be really hard to find her body because we don't even know where to find her. But if she's alive, then she must have been kept somewhere we can't reach. In that case, we can't do anything more than what we are already doing. We just wait here and hope she will come back."

"That is what I want," I told him, weeping silently. "I am not asking you for a miracle. I just want you to acknowledge the fact that she is still alive. I personally think that she was kidnapped. You already know what almost happened to me right? About those men who trespassed our home and tried to abduct me? I suspect that they were also the ones behind Aunt Milca's disappearance."

Garreth nodded. "That is what I also think. But we still cannot prove it right now. No one has seen those goons again and no one knows who they are. I may be just here in this border campsite but I have been doing my part all this time, Rainha. I have been asking my friends and comrades for help and updates."

I nodded. "I'm sorry. I was just upset about what I heard that you were still going to proceed with your wedding even if Aunt Milca was still missing."

"That is exactly why I wanted to get married immediately, Rainha," he said and that confused me more than ever, so he went on explaining what he meant.

"Aunt Milca's disappearance scared me. You know how a Royal Guard's work is going, right? A Royal Guard's life span, especially someone like me who is stationed right here in the border is shorter than average, and you know why that is?"

I wanted to shake my head but I would be lying if I did that, so I nodded my head slowly and covered my mouth to avoid my cries to escape from my mouth. My brother has never been as emotional as he is right now, and that is saying something.

"The Royal Researchers had said that after a century of living in this harsh winter, the people of Aure had managed to adjust to the cold. Our bodies made it twice or even thrice immune to the cold, you know, and that is great. But people like us who are exposed to colder and harsher weather conditions almost every day--- what do you think is happening to our bodies? We don't get stronger here from being exposed to the cold ten times worse than what it is inland. We weaken ourselves and we get less resistant to sickness."

My heart was already wrenched hearing that from Garreth. I know what he was trying to point out to me and I feel very bad that I think bad of him. I feel so ashamed of myself that I can't even look at him in the eyes right now.

"When I heard that our Aunt went missing, it scared me, Rainha," he admitted to me. "It scared me how life could turn out to be that short. If that happened to me, I would have died without any of my dreams coming true. And I don't want that, Rainha. I don't want the prospect of having my last breath thinking of all the what-ifs of my life. I don't want to die without achieving something."

"I'm sorry---"

"That's okay. I know that my decision was not the best decision, but I have to do the things that I wanted to do, Rainha, or else I will die with regrets. You understand that, right?" he asked me with his shaking voice and all I could do was nod. "You understand that even if it looks like I am heartless for having my wedding despite our aunt missing, I have to do it for myself. Who knows how long will I still live? I want to die with a wife and kids, Rainha. It's not that hard to give me that wish, right? You are not going to oppose me with that, right?"

His voice was shaking and I know that he was pleading to me right now. And how can I refuse him now that I know why he decided to still get married? I still don't like Blasie for him but if this is what my only brother wants, a little discomfort for me will not matter. I will be fine with my silent spite for that woman, as long as my brother is happy.

"Being stuck here will change you, Rainha. You will ponder on almost everything. People may think of me as a disrespectful nephew but I don't care anymore as long as you understand why I am doing this. And I am sure that Aunt Milca will understand my decision, wherever she is right now."

I nodded and then like an outburst, I went to him and hugged him again tightly. We cried for I don't even know how long. All I know is that we both needed this moment. Him--- to ease the fear about how his life is going, and me--- to ease the worry and panic inside of me that has always been here, swelling and inflating whenever I don't need it the most.

"We have to move on with our lives, Rainha, no what has happened to Aunt Milca," he finally said after both of us calmed down. "If she's still alive, then that is good. But we can't search for her forever. We can't let hinder us from what we have to do. Look at you, you came all the way here when you could have rested and all that."

"But she is our Aunt," I told him. "I can't just sit at our home and wait for her to come back."

"I know that. But you have already done all that you have to do. It's admirable that you want to search for her as long as you can, but please remember that you can pause and rest, Rainha. No one is forcing you to do this. And even if you do nothing but wait, no one is going to be angry with you for that."

"I know that now," I said, nodding. "But I will still search for her for every chance that I'll get."

"That is very kind of you," he said to me while messing up my hair like he used to. "But please don't force yourself too much. I don't want you to get sick and become mentally tired. You can trust the Royal Guards and the Crown Prince about this, you know. They know what they are doing. And I soon will be having my vacation too. Don't worry and I will help too."

"You don't have to do that. You should just rest while you have the time."

"I will. But I will involve myself with the investigation, regardless. There are just some things that I find very fishy."

"Huh? Like what?"

"Like those goons who tried to capture you. I feel like that was not just some random burglar activity. They really wanted you, right?" he asked and I nodded again. "Then maybe finding those goons will help us solve this mystery."

"That's what I also think."

"If we could just find them again, then this case would have been easier to solve."

I almost told him what I know that I still did not share with him, but I remembered that the Crown Prince was involved with it so that would expose him and our secret activities. I am not sure if telling my brother everything would damage my relationship with Prince Kao, but I was still tempted to tell my brother everything that I know. But that would make some trouble so I decided to just be quiet.

What my brother did not know are the developments of this case. That when the Crown Prince and I came to Kajos to check on our ancestral house, we met some other goons and even fought them. That one of them was in Plumba who looked like he was stalking us, and that now that man is in Aurville but is in comatose from the extreme cold that he was submerged in. I really wanted to tell my brother all of these, but telling him would risk the Crown Prince's secrets and I also don't want that.

"You became quiet. What are you thinking?"

"Oh. Nothing. I just thought how hard must all of these be if Aunt Milca was indeed kidnapped."

"Yeah, and if she were still kidnapped up to this day, then it means her kidnappers wanted something from her."

"Or from me," I said before I could think about it.

"What do you mean?"

I almost choked on myself from panicking. "W-Well... you see... Those goons also came after me, right? If my assumption is right, they wanted to kidnap me too. But that failed, so I think they are keeping Aunt Milca in exchange for something."

"Well... that is possible, but did someone suspicious tried to contact you? Is someone asking you for ransom money?"

I shook my head. "That's the problem. No one has approached me, even discreetly. But that could also because I live in the Palace most days, so it would have been impossible to contact me."

"I see... You are right. But if that's the case, what do those goons want from Aunt Milca? Or from you?"

"I really don't know. The only thing that I can think of is that it might be related to our mother."

"Our mother? Why would you think about that?" Garreth was now more confused than he was before and I almost laughed at his dumb-like expression.

"Well, you remember about the rumors about our mother, right? She could have been someone important since she was an Outsider. Maybe our mother knew something important and then these goons think that we know about it too, so they tried to kidnap me."

"Hmm. That is really interesting. But as we can't prove that theory of yours right now, it will be foolish of us to assume that it's the answer to our questions. But you surprised me, Rainha. You seem to know more than you lead me on."

I laughed nervously. "Well, I have been thinking about it too, you know..."

"And there is still something important that you are not yet telling me. I expected that you would come clean to me about it already."

I gasped silently. Does my brother know about my secret connection with the Crown Prince? And if so, where did he get the information? Did one of Prince Kao's entrusted Royal Guards told him?

"You look like you already know what I am talking about, Rainha. So tell me, who is this boyfriend of yours?"