Chapter 5
1390 Words
"Mama, bakit ganito kasakit?" bulong ko habang umiiyak ako sa bising ng mama ko.
I don't actually know how I managed to finished the day without falling apart. I acted normal around everyone. But as soon as I enter our house. Mama knew instantly that something was wrong. All it took was one good look at me, and she wrapped me in her arms and said nothing more.
I am curled now in her arms like a baby, while we both lounge at the couch. The air smelled like burned cooking, but my mother was adamant of not letting me go until I feel slightly okay.
"Kasi nagmamahal ka, Chloe. It should hurt, because if not that's not love at all."
What she said made me cry even more. I was bawling like a newborn in her arms until we heard a loud knock on our door, followed by Dawn's loud voice.
"Tita, nandito na po ako para masampal si Chloe." sigaw niya.
Para akong tangang natatawa at naiiyak. Mama gave me a kiss on my forehead before she opened the door for my bestfriend. Nagmano pa muna ang gaga pero halata namang nagmamadali siyang malapitan ako.
My mother immediately excused herself leaving us two alone.
"Oh ano? Nakatulog ka na naman? Kailangan mo bang masampal para magising ka sa katotohanan?" she looked mad, but I know deep down she's hurting for me too.
This is a front, a facade I've memorized her with the length of our frienship. She always tell me that she need to be tough one because I'm soft and I needed protection from myself.
Now, I realized what she meant.
I shook my head. The blazed in her simmered, replaced by worry. She sat beside me and enclosed me in a hug.
"Tao ka lang naman kasi, bakit ka ba nagpapakasanto?" sunod niyang ani.
Hindi ko alam kung anong isasagot. Bakit nga ba nagpapaka-martyr ako? Kasi gusto kong ipaglaban? Kasi buong buhay ko alam kong mapait lang ang kapalit ng pagsuko?
Pero hanggang saan ka nga ba lalaban? At kailan mo malalaman kung kailan ka titigil?
"Kasi naman. Asadonga-asado ako nang sinabi niyang hindi sila. Hindi ko na naisip na kahit hindi sila, malaki ang chance na mahal niya 'yong Reena na 'yon."
"Reena?" she echoed.
I nodded my head, sniffing. I buried myself deeper into her comforting hug. "Reena 'yong pangalan ng bestfriend niya. He knows that he's in love with her, and from my observation, he's in too deep for a very long time."
I heard her sighing, "Gosh, for a very smart woman, you're so stupid when it comes to this."
Yeah, can't argue with that. Hindi ko kasi alam bakit parang ang hirap bitiwan ang nadaramdaman ko para sa lalaking 'yon. Kung iisipin ko, I've wasted all those years admiring him from afar, wishing that eventually, he and me will meet again, and soon will happen.
I wasn't wrong on the meeting part, but I sure was hell I quote 'stupid' for thinking that we will happen. Am I naive for hoping that my life would turned i to some kind of soap opera? That Kyle will eventually sweep me off my feet?
Dawn is right. I am stupid when it comes to him.
"Chloe-bar, I can hear you thinking again. Stop that."
I untangled myself from her and wiped my almost dried tears using the back of my hand. Dawn's still looking at me like I'm gonna breakdown again after a few seconds, but I reassured her with a smile.
"I'm fine. Pero baka kailangan ko talaga ang sampal mo." I japed, making us both laugh.
"Don't tempt me, Jhaustine Chloe. Because I really will."
I fixed my position, packing my legs beneath me in an Indian sit while I rest my back at the sofa. I let my head fall back as I stare at the ceiling blanky.
"You know what, now that I think of it. I really don't know what to do next, when it comes to relationships I mean." I muttered.
I felt Dawn moving next to me, copying my position. "Well, you can start dating. You're smart, funny and beautiful Chloe-bar. I'm sure it's not hard to find someone swooning over you."
I raised my head, meeting her stare. "You think so? Is that even logical? I mean, I just got my heart broken. Sa tingin mo tamang mag-date ako?"
"Tama o mali, who cares? Minsan may magaganda ring nangyayari kahit nang una parang ayaw mo."
I furrowed my eyebrows at her, internalizing her thought. It was very deep, too deep for someone like Dawn. It only means one thing, she is talking straight from experience.
She must've seen the look on my face, since a sheepish smile appeared on her lips.
"Look, you're having a very shitty day and I thought this isn't the best time to be talking about this." She said, finally admitting what I was thinking.
"Spill the beans, Dawn-nut. Or else I'm going to kick your ass." I threatened which she shrugged off with a chuckle.
"Please, Chloe. You're too nice to do that to me." When my frowned went deeper, she finally caved in. "Remember when I told you, daddy's setting me up again with a loser?"
"Yeah?" I momentarily forgot my grief. I was giddy and antsy for her next words.
"Well, he turned out to be not a loser." She admitted, bitting her lips. And blushing. Dawn just turned crimson talking about a guy.
"OH MY GOD!" I screamed, holding her hands in mine.
"He's so dreamy, Chloe! I can't explain it. He's nice, handsome and just overall my type. We went out for a few dates and every time; it gets better and better. I may want a future with him, Chloe. I know it's still early to say that but, it's what I see. If daddy will insist us to be married, I'm not gonna fight it."
I let go of her hand and hugged her, "Oh my god! I'm so happy for you! At least, only one of us is miserable." I kid which made her slap me in the back. "I just hope he feels the same way about you, too."
I put her at arm's length and saw the joy swimming in her light brown eyes. I coaxed her into telling me more about Emer, their dates, his background, and a lot more. She most willingly answered all my questions. Even at dinner, that's all we ever talked about.
Knowing my best friend is finally happy with someone, made me realize that maybe I shouldn't force things.If it's meant to be, everything will fall exactly on their proper places.
When I ended up lying in my bed after Dawn left, I thought back all my memories of Kyle. Dawn always say's it's one-sided, but I didn't mind.
Kasi sa pag-ibig lagi raw kayang magsakripisyo. Pero hanggang saan ba dapat ang hangganan ng mga sakripisyo na ginagawa mo para sa taong mahal mo?
Stuck with no answers, I sighed. Baka sadyang wala talagang sagot sa ibang mga bagay-bagay sa mundo.
I reached for my phone and clicked in the Fäcebook app. This is the last time I'll be stalking him. Mahirap man gawin, but I have to try.
I typed his name on the search bar. I took a lingering look at his profile picture. The background was white from snow. He's wearing an all-black outfit with his hand hidden on his pockets. He's wearing earmuffs, giving his hair a tousled but sexy look.
God, he's so perfect.
I think this was when he and his family took a vacation at Japan.
I scrolled pass down and stopped at his Friend List. My first impulse was to dig the mystrious Reena from there, so I can finally put a face into the name.
But somehow, I heard Dawn's voice in my head, threatening me.
"Right, concentrate in moving on." I reminded myself.
I exited the app and placed my phone back on top of my side table. I was slowly drifting away to dreamland when I heard it vibrating on the wooden surface.
Thinking it was Dawn, I grabbed it to confirm.
Kyle: Hi Clo, sorry for texting so late. Can we meet tommorow? This is not work-related. If it's okay with you?
- Writer
