Chapter 17
1968 Words
It was on a whim.
The moment our conversation ended, I packed all of my things and begged Enzo to take me to the bus terminal going to Ilocos.
Of course, he didn't agree. He called Ric who immediately went home and worriedly demanded to tell him if something happened that made me this hasty on going home.
I can't tell him about Kyle, because he doesn't know about it. So, I lied. I told him that Dawn was already back and that I want to see her so badly. Determination must've been written all over my face because he just agreed without much of a fight.
Hindi ko alam ang susunod na gawin pagkauwi namin. Gusto ko pa sanang matulog but my nerves are all hyped up it was impossible to do so.
Kaya kahit hapon pa ang sinabi kong lakad namin, I changed my mind and made it a lunch instead.
"Clo, hey. Good morning." Kyle's easy-going voice breezed through my receiver. I can imagine him displaying his dimpled smile with it. I nipped the ends of my thumbs fingernail sudddenly nervous of the things I was to say about.
Dapat pala pinag-isipan ko muna.
"Clo?"
Napatikhim ako. "H-hey. . .K-kyle." I was able to say.
I heard him chuckle, "You sound anxious. What's up?" I felt my cheeks flush and sting from the sudden rush of heat.
I counted from one to five before I replied, "You sound fine."
"Well, I can't let one setback hold me in a dark place forever. It still hurt but I know I'll get over it."
I closed my eyes. Yes, please get over it.
"That's good." I croaked.
"Yeah. So, why'd you call? Wala ka sa work?"
Napalingon ako sa paligid ko. "W-wala. Actually, kauuwi ko lang galing Baguio."
"That's nice. Nagbakasyon ka pala." Then I heard him barking orders at someone, my heart thumped hard against my chest.
Mukhang busy siya. I need to wrap this up, and fast.
"Yes. Umm. .so, I was thinking . . . maybe we could move our meeting to lunch?"
He chucked. "Meeting? You make it sound too business-like." I felt my cheeks burning hotter, I wasn't able to answer. "But, okay. Sige, I'm free at lunch onwards. It's a date."
"A d-date?" I whispered.
Muli kong narinig ang tawa niya, pero hindi para hamakin ako. Sadyang mukhang masaya lang siya sa reaksyon ko. "Yes, a date. Saan mo ba gusto?"
At this very moment, my head is in chaos. So, I blurted the first thing that graced my mind, "Samgyup?"
"Okay, sige." Then I heard him rustling and telling someone to send the file to him. "I gotta go, Clo. Text me the address and I will see you there."
"O-okay. See you."
The line went dead, but my heart never felt to alive.
I know there's a big possibility that we'll talk about Reena, but the fact that he's now committed to put a halt to his feelings about her makes me feel elated.
I didn't waste time. I hopped towards my room and rummage my closet for something to wear until my room looks like a hurricane had passed.
By 11:30, I already texted Kyle where we'll meet before driving there. Naka-receive ako ng texts mula kay Ric nagtatanong kung okay ba talaga ako at kung may ginawa ba sa'kin si Enzo kaya nagmamadali akong umalis kagabi.
Hinintay ko munang makarating ako sa branch ng Samgyumpal na napili ko bago ko tinawagan si Ric. I felt guilty because he's blamming all of these to Enzo.
"Ric, hello. I'm okay." Madaling sabi ko nang sinagot niya ang tawag.
"You don't look okay yesterday, Cleng. What happened while I was gone?"
"Wala. Sabi ko naman sa'yo, gusto ko lang talagang umuwi dahil nakauwi na rin si Dawn at - "
"Dawn's still in Singapore." He cut me off.
I gasped, sweat forming on my forehead. "W-what?" I stammered.
"I checked her i********: account. She posted a story and tagged the location." There was a pause. "What happened, Cleng?" he again pushed.
I held my chest, while I forced the buidling anxiety down. "L-late post lang 'yon."
"Yeah? Then let me talk to her kung magkasama kayo ngayon."
"Ha? Bakit naman?"
"I want to talk to her, so you can prove me wrong and you right."
"S-she's not with me."
"Akala ko ba naghihintay siya sa inyo kaya uwing-uwi ka na?" anger was seeping through his words. I dropped my head on my steering wheel, thinking how I can dodge Ric and his questions.
"Nasa banyo pa siya eh."
"Then, I'll wait for her."
"Ric. . .you don't have to. I'm okay. Walang kinalaman si Enzo sa nangyari."
"Then, why can't you tell me what happened? Kung okay ka naman, why do you have to lie? What is it that you're hiding, Cleng?"
I pulled in a breath and remained wordless. I don't want him to know about Kyle and my stupidity because, first, I know he'll go big brother mode on me. Second, he might tell Dawn.
Sa ngayon, hindi ko pa alam kung paano ko sasabihin sa best friend ko. Kasi alam kong magagalit siya, worse, she'll completely disown our friendship.
"Cleng, if you're not going to talk. I'll message Dawn." It was a threat; it was clear on his voice.
I sat upright and my words came out in a blur, "No! Don't! She doesn't know I'm home."
"Then fücking tell me what happened, Cleng."
"I. . . " paninimula ko saka lumunok. "I wanted to see Kyle." I added nothing more. I clamped my mouth shut, not trusting myself speaking because I might jeorpadize myself again, this time with Ric.
Malaki na nga problema ko kapag nalaman ito ni Dawn. Ayaw ko nang dagdagan pa 'yon.
"Kyle? Sinong Kyle?" he demanded.
"The guy I like! I'm afraid I might miss the chance. Kaya minadali kitang umuwi." I feel like I'm red as freshly harvested tomato as I admit the tip of the iceberg.
He was silent at first, before his booming laughter echoed in my ear. "Oh God! And here, I was afraid I might break one of my best friends' necks." I can relief in his voice.
I drew my browse together, added. "What? Why would you do that?"
"Akala ko may ginawa sa'yo si Enzo, hindi halay or anything that can count sëxual harrassment, no. But like scare you off or him shouting at you while he seethed the meanest words."
"Shout at me? The guy barely talks, let alone hurt me with his words." I argued.
He chuckled, I can imagine him shaking his head, telling me that I'm dead wrong about my assumptions. "You don't know like I do, baby girl. Anyway, glad that's out of the way. Buti na lang hinintay kitang kausapin ako bago ko sinugod si Enzo."
I shoved the mistery of Enzo character to the side and focused on the topic, "That's because you're overreacting."
"Because you lied. Puwede mo namang sabihin na may lakad ka pala. Jesus, parang kang high schooler kung mag-react sa date na 'yan."
I rolled my eyes nowhere. "Babye na nga. Nanlalait ka na, eh."
"Yeah, yeah."
When the line clicked, I dropped my phone on my bag and went out of my car. Just in time, because I saw Kyle parking his car. Pinag-iisipan ko pa lang kung hihintayin ko ba siyang makababa o mauuna na ako sa loob nang mag-ring ang phone ko.
I saw his name and I swiped to answer, "Hello?"
"Stay there, Clo. Ayusin ko lang pag-park ko and we go in together."
He saw me.
My heart felt like it's about to pop right out of my chest. My lips hushed a small 'okay'. I was standing, my feet nailed on the ground while he jogs his way towards me, his dimpled smile intact.
"Hey." He greeted.
I ogled him for good two seconds, calming my heart, "H-hi."
"Let's go? Gutom na ako. Good thing, you're in the mood for an 'eat-all-you-can."
I mutely followed him inside. We were ushered to a booth but still, I can't seem to find my voice. Wala akong ibang ginawa kundi ngumiti, tumango at umiling sa mga sinasabi niya.
"Sarap mag-Baguio ngayon, 'no? Mainit na kasi ngayon dito sa Ilocos." He said, his eyes focused on his frying.
I watch his muscle flex while he cooks. Mukhang natural na natural sa kanya ang ginagawa niya. He's all smile while he chatted away. I want to immortalize this moment. It felt too good to be true.
Simula kasi nang pumasok kami, he never once mentioned Reena. And I'm beginning to wonder why. Am I just used of that being the sole reason we ever see each other? Or he's just pretending? Choosing to lock away the pain somewhere inside me.
"Kyle, are you really okay?" I choked out. Hindi ko na alam tungkol saan ang kwinekwento niya.
He stopped putting strips of beef on my plate and looked at me, his happy expression completely gone. "I'm not. But I'm trying to."
"Why do you want to see me, Kyle?"
He looked shocked at my directness. Napababa siya sa hawak niyang cooking tong at sandaling natahimik. The only sound I can hear is the clicking of the oil and the meat against the cooker. The background seemed to dissolve and it's just him and me and the Samgyupsal preparations in between.
With every minutes he's dedicating to silence, the knot from dread I feel in my stomach churns tighter.
"Kyle. . ." I silently uttered.
He raised his eyes from the burnt meat to meet mine, "Because you're the first person I thought about. Every time. When I'm happy. when I'm sad, when I'm excited, and a lot more. Every time."
I froze, am I hearing the right things? "W-what about Reena?"
"Reena?" He asked. his brows drawing closer to each other.
"Hindi ba siya 'yong lagi nating pinag-uusapan?"
"Yes. No. I mean, yes. I mean, I don't know." He gathered a few breaths before he slumped deeper to his chair. "At first, yes. Then, I start enjoying your company." He looked away and stared rubbing his nape.
I blushed and turned mute. I knitted my fingers together on my lap. Waiting for him to talk more.
"I kept it that way since it's look like you're only permitting me to see you because of her. That's why whatever it is that I'm starting to feel about you, I put brakes into it and concentrated more about Reena and me. Kasi 'yon ang lagi mong sinasabi, na dapat ipaglaban ko pa. I can't risk losing you, but it happened anyway. It was the moment I always wondered. Anong ginawa ko at bakit ka lumayo?"
"W-what?" that's all I can say. My mind is in a bad whirl and I want to kick my ass for it. My throat went tight and feel like I'm about to cough because of the sudden dryness.
Saka niya iginawi ang tingin niya sa'kin. "It's the truth. It's completely fücked up but it's the truth. Reena is there, she's been a permanent fixture in my life ever since we're young. I didn't notice anyone except her for a long time until you. . .You're just this radiant constant energy I can't ignore."
"Kyle. .I -- "
"Please if you're going to tell me it's weird and you'll again start avoiding me, is it okay for me to ask one selfish request? Let's finish our lunch date and I promise never to bother you again.If it's the -- "
"Kyle, I like you. Like a lot. Ever since college. That I'm sure this is love. I've been hopelessly and head-over-heels in love with you. For a very, very long time.
- Writer
