I didn't get a chance to reply. Gustong-gusto ko pero pinigilan ako ni Dawn. She said she'll never speak to me again if I let my stupidity rule my life again. Wala raw siyang pake kung parang pinapapili niya ako, kasi alam naman daw niyang mali ako sa gusto ko.
"Dawn, just let me tell him that everything will be okay." I begged, trying to get my phone from her hand.
She held it higher. She glowered at me making me step back. "No! Wala kang dapat sabihin sa kanya! Hindi mo siya responsibilidad!"
"Nakakaawa naman kasi siya. Isang text lang." I again tried.
But she didn't budge, much more the furrow in between her eyebrows deepened. "Ikaw ba 'di ka naaawa sa sarili mo? Puro ka awa, panay sagip mo sa kanya. Tang ina, Chloe, sinong sasagip sa'yo?"
What she said made me lose my balance, making me fall on the floor. I buried my face on my hands and started crying. She's right. I hate the thoughts but she's right.
My sobs landed on me so powerful that my shoulder started to move involuntarily. I'm such an idiot.
I felt Dawn sitting by my side before she wrapped her arms around me. It took her a moment to speak, but when she did, I know she's crying too basing on her voice broke.
"Tama na, Chloe. Tanga ka lang, pero hindi sobrang tanga. Hanggang kailan mo ba titiisin ang lahat? Hanggang walang-wala ka na? Hanggang sa namamanhid ka na at wala ka ng maramdaman? Ano pa ba ang kailangan kong isuksok sa kokote mo para maintindihan mo na ginagawa ka lang niyang pampalipas oras kapag walang Reena sa tabi niya?"
"He's not like that. . ." depensa ko.
Even with her sobs, her voice still came out strong. "He is! Oo mabait siya. He's caring, sweet and everything in between. But he only remembers you when he's not with Reena. He keeps you because you're convenient. Masakit, pero 'yon ang totoo! Kahit ilang beses mong i-deny, 'yon at 'yon ang kalalabasan."
Her words like a two-edge sword dipped in poison. Because I didn't just bleed, my heart died a blistering gruesome death.
I clung to her, gripping her shirt in my hands as I yowled. She didn't say anything more. Buti na lang, because I don't think I can't take anymore of the reality.
I finished packing my things the same time Ric texted me that he'll be picking me up shortly. Sinabi ko na sa kanya na wala pa akong reservation papuntang Baguio at ayaw kong mag-drive. So, he represented to do the driving himself, ayaw niya rin naman daw gumamit ng public transportation because in the words of that playboy millionaire, "it's to bothersome."
I again looked at my phone. Hindi ko alam kung bakit umaasa pa rin akong makakatanggap pa ako ng text o tawag kay Kyle gayong blinock na ni Dawn ang number niya.
Mali ang best friend ko. Hindi lang ako tanga, sobrang tanga na.
I felt like I'm stuck in a limbo. I go from hurt, then I cry, then I started to want to see or talk to him again. The cycle is endless.
"Yo! I'm right outside." Ric said when I picked to answered his call.
I hastily dragged my luggage out of my room to meet him.
He casually leaning on his Audi, his foot crossed with the other, while he's fumbling in his phone. He looked different from the usual Ric I see in the office. He's wearing a dark blue polo shirt, jeans and chucks. He's even sporting glints.
When he raised his head to look at me, he immediately narrowed his eyes, "Bakit ganiyan ka makatingin?"
"Wala. Iba lang kasi itsura mo ngayon. May pa-shades ka pa."
Mukhang na-proud naman si gago sa sinabi ko. "Talaga ba? Sorry, 'di ka puwedeng ma-inlove sa'kin, baby girl. Incest is not wincest for me."
I rolled my eyes at him and smacked my bag on his stomach. "Kapal naman talaga."
"Bakit? Sinabihan lang naman kita ng maaga." He said with a smirk.
I raised one eyebrow at him, "Mukha kang matandang manyak. Ayaw ko na ngang sabihin pero pinilit mo pa ako."
He appeared shocked before he frowed at me. Obviously, he doesn't like it when he's criticized. "Pumasok ka na nga sa loob. Iwan kita, eh."
Pinagbuksan niya ako ng pinto saka siya nagmamaktol na nag-marcha papunta sa kabilang gawi ng sasakyan.
I'm still keeping my chuckle under wraps when he started driving. From the profound 'v' in his forehead, I think I need to tread carefully around him. But he deserves it. Minsan kailangan niya rin ng taong magsasabi sa kanya ng mga ganoong bagay para mabawasan ang nag-uumapaw na kompiyansa niya sa sarili.
"Puwede ba akong magpatugtog?" tanong ko nang palabas na kami ng Ilocos Sur.
"Sige." sabay abot niya sa'kin ng phone niya.
I scanned his Spotify playlists until I found one that will suit oir long drive.
"Ric, matutulog muna ako, ah."
"Sige lang. I'll wake you up when it's time to eat."
I nodded my head, letting my body sink on the plush car seat. I crossed my arms in front of me and let my head dangled to the side of the door.
The music we're playing started to fade, signifying that I'm slowly losing to sleep.
"Cleng." I heard Ric speak, making the grips of rest unfasten.
"Hmm."
"Promise me that after this trip, you'll be okay. I heard a few people from the office talking about you crying in the restroom. Kung nasasaktan ka na at halos pang-abutan ka pa hanggang trabaho, bitiwan mo na."
I peeked at him, but he has his eyes straight on the road. He really has a knack on observing people. Kasi kahit wala siyang alam sa nangyayari sa'kin, nasapul niya. "Hindi naman kasi ganoon kadali. Sinusubukan ko naman."
"Kaya mo 'yan! I know you, when you choose to be hell-bent on something. You make it happen no mattet what. I think what you need to do is to rearrange your priorities."
Priorities? How fitting? I've heard this from Kyle before but somehow, it's only now that I realized how much I hated that word.
I snickered, "Yeah, maybe you're right."