Ties of Bad Love (Book Two)

Chapter Six

                                                                                            Levi

            Life has been boring, and I have been testy without her. I feel like I have lost her this time. There were times I found myself dialing her number, but before it could even begin to ring, I chickened out and hung up. After all, I was supposed to be working on myself. To become a better man for her. These past eight days have been torturous, and yes, I was counting. Lucy has been keeping me company for the most part. I went back to Arizona, but only long enough to get some of my things. I wanted to be as close to her as I possibly could, but I also think I was using Samantha as an excuse to be closer to my mom too. She has been trying hard to get off the drugs and the alcohol, but I knew it would take her time.

           I was returning to our hotel after getting some groceries. Lucy got me a job working at her friends’ bar. It wasn’t much money, but it was better than nothing. Besides working in a bar wasn’t so bad. Today was my twenty-first birthday, so they were promoting me to one of the bartenders. I rolled my eyes at the idea, but it was much better pay than what I was getting now, and I got one hundred percent of the tips I made. My shift was from eight at night till two in the morning now that I was able to serve people alcohol. My first shift started tonight. Even though it was my birthday, I didn’t want to spend it with Lucy. Maybe working at the bar tonight would help to keep my mind off Samantha. I wonder what she is doing right now, I thought as I walked in the door of our hotel room. My eyes searched around for Lucy. The place was quiet…too quiet. After sitting the groceries down, I walked over into the bedroom area and turned red by what I saw.

           “You have got to be f*****g kidding me!” Lucy was lying there with a needle in her arm, slouched over the bed, riding out her high. She was so f*****g high she couldn't hear me shouting. I had no idea how to deal with someone who was drugged out like this. I walked over to her kicking her shoe, but she still didn’t budge. The first thing I did was check her breathing. I clenched my teeth together the closer I got to her. Not only was she high as hell, but she had also been drinking too. Great, this is just f*****g wonderful! I smacked her in the face gently enough to get her to stir awake. “Lucy, wake the hell up. We need to get you in a cold shower.” I hated having to take care of my mom like this. Was it not her job to look after me? I picked her up in my arms and walked us over to the shower. I turned it on the coldest it would go and placed her under the icy temperature.

            She gasped when she felt the cold hit her. “What the hell, Levi?!”

            “Don’t what the hell me, Lucy! You are sitting here in this hotel room, free of charge, eating the food I buy, and wearing the clothes I have bought you while getting high. Is that the thanks I get? Once you are sober, you got to go. I’m not going to sit here and take care of you, on my birthday of all days.”

            She stood up in the shower with wobbly legs. “I’m sorry son. I didn’t realize it was your birthday. Happy…birthday.” She began to shake uncontrollably, so I turned off the water and put a warm towel over her. “Thank you, but I’m shaking for other reasons than the cold.”

            “There is no possible way you are having withdraws already.”

            “My supplier didn’t give me enough to keep the withdraws away. I am used to getting high every day until a few weeks ago. I’m afraid it is taking a toll on my body.”

            I would say f*****g so. Why did I want her in my life again? All she seemed to do was cause me more of a headache than what she was worth. All this time I couldn’t help but think what it would like to have her in my life, now that she was, I wanted to get as far away from her as possible.

            I was headed back into the kitchen when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. When I looked at the screen, I was shocked to see it was her calling me. The phone call went great. She wished me a happy birthday, which I honestly didn’t expect a call from her today. Not that I didn’t think she didn’t care or that she didn’t remember, but that we were in such a bad spot, I didn’t think she would want to hear my voice. When she told me that she was in Paris with Landon of all people, I almost lost it. I had to push the mute button while I flung a glass against the wall. Why the hell would she be in Paris with Landon? Were they together or something? The many possibilities invaded my mind, making me see nothing but red. I had to keep myself calm on the phone with her, so I lied, pretending like it didn’t bother me much. I was livid. I cannot believe she would go all the way to Paris with Landon. She knew the way he felt about her. We ended the call with me of course professing that I loved her. Before I could hear her rejection, I ended the call. The only good thing that came out of the call, was getting to hear her sensuous voice that I loved so much. If I had her here with me right now, I would tie her up and do unspeakable things to her delectable body. Thinking about her like that made my pants tighten around me. This was the longest I had gone without a woman’s touch in a long time. I know, that made me seem like such a man w***e, but it was true. I began flipping through my phone at all the naughty pictures I had taken of her when she slept. My favorite was the one of her lying on her stomach with her ass slightly sticking up in the air as if she was having dreams of me f*****g her too. I wonder if she has had any of those dreams about me lately. Every night it seemed like I dreamed of her, some were dirty, while others were just of her angelic face.

            If I didn’t get some kind of release soon, I was going to go crazy. The only person I wanted it from was Samantha though. No one else would come even close to her touch. I went over to the other bed in the room and spread my body across it. If I had to work so late tonight, I was going to get a least a few hours of sleep in. I would have to worry about what to do about Lucy later.

            Night had fallen by the time I had woken up. I looked over to the clock on my phone and jumped up quickly to get changed. s**t, I was going to be late for my first f*****g day at bartending. One of my black t-shirts were hanging on the chair beside my bed. I picked it up, giving it a quick sniff to see if it was okay to wear tonight. It smelt fine to me, so I placed it over my body and walked out of the room to put on my shoes. Lucy was outside in the little kitchen area fixing her a sandwich.

            “Do you mind if I come with you tonight? I want to see how your first day goes.”

            “Under one condition, no f*****g drinking. You already have me furious enough with you as it is. Do not test me because I will kick your ass out of here as quickly as I invited you in.”

            Lucy nodded her head at me timidly like I was going to hit her or some s**t. I was many things, but a woman abuser was not one of them. As she was getting dressed, I had a strange feeling come over me. It was a sudden urge to check on Samantha. I couldn’t explain it, but it was like a bad feeling I had in my gut. I dialed her number quickly only for it to be answered by Landon instead.  There was a massive time difference between us, and I knew for her it had to be around four in the morning. So why was Landon answering her phone? When he answered and told me they had been making out and she was practically getting ready to f**k him, I lost all restraint I had. I should have known something was going on between the two of them. At that moment, I knew I was done with her. She had forgiven me so many times, but I couldn’t find it in my heart to forgive her for this. Maybe if it would have been anyone else, maybe I could have understood. But no, it had to be with the one guy I knew I had nothing on. “f**k!” I shouted while throwing things and shattering them to pieces as my heart felt at that moment.

            “Levi? What is going on?” Lucy sounded so concerned but I couldn’t even look at her. The old me was shinning back through and I didn’t want to hurt her over something that Samantha did.

            “Get in the f*****g car if you are coming with me.” I then exited the hotel room and waited down in my car. Lucy joined me a few minutes later, keeping herself silent which I guess was so that I didn’t flip out on her any more than I already had today.

            We made it to the bar just in time. I was only a minute late. Thomas didn’t seem to mind as he jumped right into showing me how everything worked behind the bar. Hours later, I was getting the hang of things. It was after eleven when a sexy woman in fishnet clothing appeared at the bar. She began flirting with me and usually I would have dismissed her but no, not tonight. It was my f*****g birthday and I had planned on having a damn good time.

            By the time I left the bar, I was so drunk I couldn’t walk straight. I left Lucy at the bar with Thomas while I took the girl with me back to my hotel room. The moment we got inside, she stripped me of my clothes and pushed me back onto the bed. She was a feisty little thing.

            “What do you want from me, birthday boy?” She asked while she slid her hands over my body, etching herself closer to my manhood.

            I put my hands behind my head while I looked down at her. She wasn’t anything like Samantha. Her hands were rough raking over my body while Samantha’s touch was soft and gentle. The more I thought about her, the more I seemed to sober up. What was I doing? No matter how much Samantha hurt me, I couldn’t’ do this. There would never be another girl for me, only her, even if she didn’t want me as I wanted her.

            “Get out! That’s what I want you to do.”

            I had no idea what the woman’s name was. I was so out of it that I wasn’t thinking straight bringing her here. The only thing going through my mind was that I wanted to f**k someone so bad until I forgot all about Samantha, but I knew that was impossible. Samantha was the only woman who had me completely. Having s*x with this random chick wasn’t going to change that. In seconds, the woman was huffing as she walked out of my hotel room, slamming the door behind her as she left. Considering I was still naked and didn’t want to give myself blue balls, I decided to help myself out. I grasped my length in my hand, imagining it was Samantha’s hand instead. Within minutes I had found my release, though it felt nothing like when she did it.

            After taking a shower to wash off the stench of the girl from earlier, I dialed Samantha’s number again. Damn, I am an i***t. There would be no way she would answer after what happened. I knew the way she was. She would be too embarrassed and too upset to answer but it was worth a try. Her phone went straight to voicemail.

            “Samantha it’s Levi. Look, I don’t know the whole story with you and Landon. It pisses me off to no end that you would do anything with him, but I can’t say that I blame you. He has been there for you when I haven’t been. I just wanted you to know that I love you, my beautiful girl. I would do anything and everything for you if I could. If you feel like talking to me once your back in the states, call me. I will not hesitate to meet you somewhere, if not, I will understand. Good night.” I ended the call with the hope that she would call me back soon and we could work through our problems. I had to have some hope that there was a world in which we could be together and be happy.