Ties of Bad Love (Book Two)

Chapter Three

                                                                                            Levi

            After leaving the tattoo parlor, my mom and I stayed up a bit talking and drinking some more. Several drinks in me, she was actually pleasant to talk to. She seemed to help take the pain away a little, which was refreshing considering nothing else was working.

           Lucy nudged my elbow as we laughed about our horrid past that seemed quite similar. I was more like her than I was willing to admit. “On a more serious note, why do you not go after this Samantha and tell her the truth? I am sure she would want to hear it from your mouth that Lizzie practically forced you into doing what you did.”

           I sat the empty glass down on the bar, figuring it would be best if I stopped drinking for the night. “It isn’t that simple with Samantha. I have done horrible things to her, things that I am even ashamed to admit. There would be no way she would believe me anyway. Lizzie’s dad has more money than he has sense and could easily destroy everything she has worked so hard for. That job she has at the clinic could be wiped away in seconds. Even her schooling could be jeopardized and that is leaving too much to chance.”

           “You won’t know until you try. She seems like a reasonable girl who, by what you have told me, is madly in love with you. Do not make the same mistake I did with your father. If you genuinely love her, make a change now before it is too late. Show her that you are not willing to walk away from this. Show her that people like us can change if given the chance.”

           “How could you say that after what you’ve told me? You tried changing but look where that got you. You left when I was just a boy, and for what? Alcohol? Drugs? Was it worth it?” I sounded harsh, but I didn’t care. My emotions were coming out that way because I felt hurt by the woman sitting beside me. If she had stayed and made an effort to be more of a parent to me, then I could have turned out differently. I could have been the man that Samantha deserves.

           Lucy grabbed my shoulder, stumbling off her chair. “Hell no, it wasn’t worth it. I lead a miserable, lonely life that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. I have no one to blame but myself. Every day I wish I could go back and change what happened, but instead, I sit in this damn bar drinking my problems away. Your father was the love of my life and in my eyes still is. There has never been anyone else since I left.”

           She was starting to annoy me in her drunken state. This was too deep of a conversation than I wanted to have with the nice buzz I had going on. Now she was ruining even that.

           “Go to her. Plead your case, and all will work out, I’m sure. Give her time and space after you speak your peace. If she loves you, she will find her way back to you, but not unless you give her a reason to want to. Leaving things like this between you is only going to push her away more. Fight for her and do not ever give up, no matter what she tells you. As women, we say what we feel is right. So, she may tell you she never wants to see you again, but you are all she thinks about. No pressure or anything, just think about it. Won’t know unless you try, right? Anyway, enough of my blabbing, I am going to go. I have taken enough of your time.”

           The sad part was, I didn’t want her to leave. Yes, she was annoying me to no end, but having spent this night with her, made me realize that what I was missing in my life was her. She was the piece of the puzzle that could make me feel whole again. “Do you have a place to stay right now?”

           When she looked up at me, her eyes were bloodshot red, and her cheeks were flushed from all the alcohol we had consumed. “Truthfully? I have nowhere to go. I have been living on the streets for a few years now. The only reason Thomas supplies me with alcohol is that I work for him on the side from time to time.”

           “Can you not go out and get a job like a normal person?”

           “Years ago, I probably could have, now I have nothing. No one would hire someone looking like me.”

           I was going to regret this; I just knew it. “Come with me tonight. There is a hotel a few blocks away from here. You can take a shower, get a proper meal, and get a good night’s sleep.”

           “Levi, I can’t do that to you. I do not want to be another burden in your life.”

           “Get in my f*****g car before I change my mind.”

           Lucy gave me an excited glare before jumping up from her stool, stumbling a little as she walked. I could hear Samantha yelling at me now to not drive after I have been drinking, but it wasn’t that far of a distance.

           Within minutes I was pulling up to an overly large four-story building that looked almost haunted in the dead of night. I checked us into a room before leaving while Lucy got into the shower. Samantha was stilled into my brain, and I just had to see her even if she slammed the door in my face. Lucy was right, I had to put my chips all in if I wanted to have a small chance at winning her back.

           It took me no time at all before I was pulling into her apartment buildings. When I reached her door, I took a moment myself to calm my nerves. I was far less drunk now than I was before, which would make this a little easier. If she were to see me drunk, we would mostly end up in a screaming match, followed by passionate lovemaking. Thinking about that now, I should have f*****g drunk a whole damn bottle before coming here. Right now, I would take her any way I could get her. I let my whole body shake out my nerves as I knocked on her door. When she didn’t come to the door, I started banging loudly. She had to be there. Where else would she go?

           When the door opened, I expected to see my brilliant girl on the other side looking at me with those pain-filled eyes. Instead, I see a shirtless Landon standing in the doorway.

           “What the f**k?!” I screamed, letting my voice carry out into the abandoned halls. “What the f**k are you doing at my girl’s place, shirtless no doubt?”

           “Just leave, Levi. She doesn’t want to see you. I have been the one comforting her in a way you never will be able to. When she was hurt the most, she picked me to phone. Not you, not anyone else, but me.”

           My hands started shaking from the anger that was begging to leave my body in the only way it knew how. Samantha wouldn't have anything to do with him. Not in such a short amount of time. I tried to control my breathing, but it was almost impossible while he was staring at me with his f*****g slimy grin plastered all over his face. I kicked the door in, striding past him to find Samantha. When I felt his hands on me, I lost it. I reached back my fist and let it fly in the air. It surprised me a bit to see it connect to his jaw. I half expected him to block it.

           “We aren’t doing this here! She does not want to see you. This will be your last warning before I lose all patience with you and kick your ass for real this time. I promise you will leave here in more than a bruise and a busted lip. “

           “f**k you, Landon! You were waiting for the opportunity to come to steal my girl away from me, you f*****g bastard!” I slammed him into the wall while I kept the punches coming his way. Everything I had was put into those punches, which meant that Landon would have a few nasty bruises of his own come tomorrow.

           He managed to tackle me to the ground. Now and again, he would slam my face against the concrete floor. If he kept that up, he would no doubt break my jaw. Out of nowhere, I hear her shrieks and gasps. How could I be so f*****g dumb to come here and do this in front of her? Landon was back on his feet, comforting her. I spit out the blood along with a piece of my tooth onto the floor.

           When I was finally able to look at her, she was wearing nothing but a small ass towel that didn’t cover her entire body. Tears started to involuntary roll down my face. “You are f*****g him?”

           Samantha couldn’t even look at me. Her head was cast down to the floor while she rocked the soles of her feet back and forth at a slow pace. She still looked beautiful, even behind all her pain. She was an angel that was once mine, but as I always did, I ruined her like I ruined everything else good in my life.

           “Hey, Sam, let’s get you back in the bath okay? Let me handle this and I will join you when I am finished.”

           “No.” Hearing her speak was otherworldly. It had only been a few hours since I last heard that voice, but it felt more like a lifetime seeing how everything was moving in slow motions around me. “He needs to hear what I have to say.” She turned to me as her eyes were still cast down. Damnit, I wish she would f*****g look at me. “Our relationship is over. There is nothing you would ever be able to say or do to make me change my mind, not this time. You have broken me past the point of feeling anything other than the pain you constantly caused me. You care only for yourself, and I feel sorry for you. I hope that one day you will become a better man and meet a girl who can help shape you into the man I know you are capable of becoming. I have never experienced a love like the one you have given me, so thank you for that. Thank you for making me feel more alive than I had ever been before, and thank you for showing me how much better I can do than you. Goodbye for the last time Levi. Do not bother ever showing your face around here again.” She turned and headed off into her bedroom.

           I tried to move past Landon, but he was much bigger than I was. If he didn’t want to let me get past, I wouldn’t. He pushed me back toward the door until I was standing in the hallway before I knew it.

           “Let her be happy with someone that can give her what she needs. I know you love her and want to make her happy, but you are toxic to her. There is nothing that you would be able to do to make her feel the same way for you again after what you have done. Leave now with at least a little dignity left.” Landon then shut the door in my face.

           It was then that I knew I had to let her go. If I ever wanted a chance at redemption with her, I had to work on myself first. I will show you Samantha that I can be what you need me to be. Please, baby, don’t give up on me yet.