Moon Over Min

Chapter 2: Min

The ceiling-high chain-linked galvanized steel wire fence, that had sharp wires protruding out of it, blocked my way to the staircase. Not that I really was planning on going down there, ever since my hospital discharge two years ago ― I had not been downstairs at all. All I had seen was this fence with a padlock to keep it shut.

The only one with the key to it was my brother, Noah, who was the only human that I had seen my whole life with a true bonafide smile on their face.

He was actually the only human I had seen my whole life with an artless smile on their face.

Ever since Lena and Antonio assigned Noah as my personal health care provider, I've begun to slowly lose respect for them to call them 'Mom' or 'Dad'. Not like they ever would have wanted their 'demon' blood-related gold mine calling them that.

I glided the distal part of my index finger along the galvanized steel sharp wire, mentally wishing it would impale my skin to kill me out of my infinite misery. But other than my suicide plea, I didn't have a genuine reason to play with it. I didn't have anything to play with that didn't involve mental scarring.

The books, the papers, and the pressure to educate my brain were unbearable ― so I was trying to waste time by playing with this fence while hoping that I could be on the other side of it one day.

Or at least, if the world had mercy on me, allowed me to escape this hell and be who I wanted to become without accepting my fate as a soon-to-be trafficked, endangered wolf.

My ears perked up at the faint sound of Noah's house slippers skimming against the smooth hardwood floor. I could admit, my body occasionally grew tense when Noah was near, but if I had to choose between my brother and the two elephants under the roof. I'd choose my brother in a heartbeat.

Noah didn't treat me differently than a mere human, as if I was one, and shrugged disbelievingly at my skeptic remarks every time I mentioned that one day he'll act like them or back-stab me.

While I was inattentively ruminating about my fears and trauma, I leisurely and subconsciously, pressed my finger onto the protruding wire, imagining the invisible betrayal knife as a real solid weapon they would use to murder me out of repugnance and hatred.

The jarring piercing from the ersatz betrayal blade that I artificially impaled into my unscathed, gentle skin was a bitter disillusion.

I dangerously wanted the wire to kill me, but no matter how much intention I put into my sudden scheme to end my own life ― my anthropoid, immortal body refused to let me die.

I was mentally strained and heartbroken because I almost, for a slight minute years ago, believed that Lena was my 'mother' and I'd get to be viewed as her loving child, but the moment I was pushed out here into the cruel, selfish world; All I received was neglect and mental a***e.

The quota of names, curse words and mumbles I heard that were directed towards me is more than I could count. They hated me to their core but I couldn't bring myself to hate them. I could only experience desperate neediness for their parental love and risk feeling that let down emotion after hearing, "Us love you? We will never love a killer."

But I wasn't a killer.

I was Min Mitchell. A boy wanting to have a family and a normal life. But all I received, in the end, was insecurity, fear, and self-esteem demolishment.

And sadly, no one cared in the slightest that I was only just two years old.

***

"Dinner time," Noah said, holding my dinner tray full of food in his hands. His eyes had dark bags under them again ― they were forcing him to study.

I was sitting on my bedroom floor with my teddy bear in my hand, a gift from Noah, who brought it up to me so I wouldn't be lonely at night. The only gift I have gotten from anyone was a teddy bear from Noah. I cherished his gift as if it was my last day seeing it every time I laid my eyes on it.

I moved the bear aside to stand up. Noah placed my tray on my desk and pulled out my desk chair. I sat in it after struggling to pull myself up, and he pushed me in so I could eat.

He carefully put my long, hip-length hair into a ponytail. "There. So you won't get any strands of hair in your food."

"Thank you," I gleamed at him. I smiled every time he did something unnecessary for me, but I appreciated it knowing he wanted to do it of his own will.

"Uh-huh, don't burn your tongue," He sat on my bed and laid down on it to wait for me to finish eating.

This was our usual routine ― Morning, he'd bring up breakfast that he tried to cook, Lunch, he'll bring up something he quickly tried to make, and Dinner, he would bring up a small portion of the food Lena made without her knowing.

If she didn't cook anything, then he would try his absolute best to prepare a microwaveable meal and bring it up to me.

It was sad that a seven-year-old had to take care of me, while the grown adults calculate how much money they would receive if I studied university-level classes.

I ate the last bite of my food, sipped my juice, and climbed out of the chair to go back to my bear. "I finished, Brother."

Noah lifted his head to see me back on the ground playing with the bear and slowly got up to grab my tray and ambled to the wired gate. "Sleep on time today, Min. Big brother won't like it if you are tired in the morning."

I nodded. "I will."

"Goodnight." Noah walked on the other side of the gate and locked it.

"Goodnight!" I waved to him, watching the head full of messy strands disappear down the stairs.

I looked down at my bear, hugged it close to my chest, and buried my face on top of its furry head. "At least you won't hurt me."

***

My golden-colored eyes stared up at the full moon in the black-painted sky. It was beautiful.

I'd read that it represented wisdom and purity. Just gazing up at it ― there was truth in that book.

"I wonder if I can walk on the moon?" I used my index finger and middle finger to make a walking motion on the moon from my window. I pretended I was walking on the moon and hummed a tune that my brother always hummed subconsciously around me. It sounded nice and I would always hum it. I wondered what song it was. "Can I jump there?" I made my fingers pretend to jump on the moon. I stifled the giggle that crept up my throat ― I loved nighttime.

I folded my arms on my window seal and laid my chin on my arm ― my eyes not looking away from the moon. It felt like I was being pulled towards it like a magnet and my mind was being freed from stress just by looking up at it.

My hair ― which Lena pointed out two years ago ― resembled the moon. I understood what she meant one day when my brother was helping me wash and I stood in front of my bathroom mirror.

I had white hair.

I was one of the rare breeds of wolves that had white hair, and neither of those people downstairs knew the reason why I was a wolf.

Maybe I was a reincarnation?

Well, nonetheless, I might've been a wolf with white hair that was born by a human ― I surely won't act like a wolf.

I wouldn't hunt, transform, bark, growl, bite, or scratch.

I read in one of my books that wolves used to roam around the world freely, but now they were rarely spotted anywhere ― like if they disappeared.

I overheard directly from Antonio that I might be the only wolf there at the zoo. It seemed that the wolves have gone extinct and I'm the last one amongst their kind.

That was fine by me. I didn't need others like me. I wanted to prevent any war or frantic outcome towards humans.

I wanted to be a human ― so bad.

I craved the love, the memories, the laughs, the smiles, the mutual bond with other humans, but the only one that gave me any smiles was Noah. He was the only one I call brother, not to say his blood connection with me to impress him, no, I just appreciated his cooking for me and hard work.

I felt like calling him 'brother' would let him know that I wasn't not taking his efforts to waste.

Though, I still feared the day he'd decided to turn his back on me.

He might've been comfortable walking into my room and letting his guard down around me, but I kept my guard up subconsciously from the constant shouts I always received. I made sure my mental state was prepared for the worst and every so often sighed in relief when he left.

Not all the time. Just after they yelled their insults at me, and my communication was stripped from my knowledge to the point the proximity left me muted and trembling.

I knew it was ridiculous to think this way, but taking the two years to heart was what I've been dealing with ― It honestly felt like hell. The painful underground for worthless souls to be turned into ashes and was cursed to be forgotten by everyone.

If this was hell, then it must have been true ― I was disgusting and worthless. I should rot in hell.

Min, don't tell yourself that. My brother said to me one day, walking into one of my silent breakdowns. You aren't worthless or disgusting, not to me at least.

I am disgusting. They say so daily. I fought back the tears that pricked my eyes and continued to stare up at the moon.

If only I was the moon, I would shine bright on others with my prepossessing beauty, and never let them down by being different.

The state of being divergent rather than being equivalent to those around me ― It told me that I was alone in this world.

It didn't matter if I was a wolf or a human, as long as no one can save me from my self-hatred.

I was alone and there was no escaping this loneliness.

***

It was an oddly quiet time of noon, where the home of Mr. and Ms. Mitchell usually mumbled or worked, but my ears did not pick up any sounds.

Until the sound of my brother's footsteps ascending the stairs caused me to look in that direction.

If I was in my wolf form, I bet my tail would wag happily.

He unlocked the fence, walked through it, and locked it back before walking into my room with tired eyes. "Can I vent out my frustration to you? I know you're not much of a talker, so you can just listen and nod."

"You can tell me anything, Noah," I said, sitting in a comfortable position next to Noah on my bed.

"Okay, so... Momma walked out on us a few hours ago, and we just found her note saying she's done living in the same home as you. And I might sound awful for saying this, but I am glad she is gone ― she was so degrading and strict. I barely had time to breathe around her."

"W-What did he say?" I asked, not wanting to say 'Antonio' or 'Dad'. I was still uncomfortable saying his name or title out loud. I dreaded the emotionless look on his face hearing me say either one. The first time I said 'Antonio' to not say 'Dad', he glared at me and I knew his name was off-limits too.

But I think he loathed my existence to the point that anything that came out of my mouth angered him.

"Nothing much. He read the note, said 'More for me then', and went back into his basement workplace to experiment." Noah sighed, his facial expression said it all for him.

He was exhausted from their 'parenting'.

At first, Noah was the gem of their family, then when he began to warm up to me. They grew more oppressively distant towards him, neglected his feelings, and turned him into an emotional wreck.

All because he didn't view me the same way they did.

"I'm sorry..." I grabbed the throw blanket that I folded neatly on the edge of my bed and wrapped it around my body to hide in it like a cocoon.

"What are you apologizing for? It's not like I don't want to be your brother, because I always wanted a sibling for the longest time." Noah touched the top of the blanket where my head was. "You are still family to me, Min. And I am still going to be by your side through it all."

"I-I'm a... devil..."

"You mean wolf?" Noah chuckled. "I know that and why should that matter? As long as you're alright being close to me, then I don't care who or what you are. You're still Min to me."

"Thank you, Noah..." I slightly tilted my head against his consoling hand, which I got used to doing when I wanted to be pet. The small action temporarily soothed my pessimistic thoughts to enjoy the modest moment.

Noah moved the blanket off my head, making sure it stayed on my shoulders, and pet my head with care ― his hand was the comfort I needed at the moment.

"Why are they like that?" I asked him with a small stutter in my voice. I was scared of asking about sensitive topics but curiosity invariably got the best of me easily.

"PTSD," Noah replied, massaging my scalp with his fingertips. "They both dealt with wolf attacks in their past. The difference is that my mom had the most traumatic one. I don't know much since they both keep secrets, but all I know is that she was young and in a vulnerable situation."

"Which leads to them fearing me and ready to sell me for money." I hugged my blanket closer to my body as if it was my safe haven ― well, in a way it was my safe haven, the warmth engulfed my small form with a sense of security helping me feel less agitated. "Now that she's out of the home, he'll be the only one getting the income from my sales." I turned my head to look at Noah. "But I don't want to die."

"Min... I wish I could stop him but I have no power to do anything. I don't want you to die either, you're my first brother and friend." Noah rested his hand on top of my head. "We have to prepare ourselves for everything so we don't separate on sad terms."

"I won't be sad if you don't want me to be."

"It's okay to be sad, just... I want us to be happy in the end too. Knowing we had a family bond together without any negativity between us."

"Okay, brother," I gave him a small smile.

He did the same. "I promise to be by your side, Min. We're brothers no matter what."

I nodded. "Me too. I'll be by your side because we're brothers."