His Blind Mate

Chapter 11 In Your Head

Kyhan

    If a look could kill, I would've been stabbed multiple times. Penny tugged on Reire’s sleeve in an attempt to have her quit giving me the evil eye. The girls were uncomfortable in my presence, with the shy brunette hiding her petite frame behind Reire’s and peeking over her shoulder from time to time. I pray to the Goddess she was different when danger was involved because when dealing with vampires, someone like her would never be able to make it. Although … it seemed as though she was looking at Ralph, who was behind me, instead of at me.

Goddess, this guy was intimidating a crucial team member and we hadn’t started a single meeting yet. What exactly was Helia up to?

I asked for assistance and with Luan assigned to my request, it gave me more time and opportunities to talk to her, but it would also mean her return to the pack. A pack that she had forsaken … and for good reason. Goddess, the adjustments that were made when she disappeared. If it wasn’t my respect for my mother, I would’ve said things to my father. The pack was not only incompetent with daily chores that meals were late for months and processes were disorganized, my two best friends that were supposed to keep s**t together with me fell into a state of depression.

The pack had much to answer for. It’d be a slap to their faces to have Luan solving their problems for them. But would she be willing to return? It’d mean the world to me, but hell for her.

“She wants nothing to do with you,” said Reire, sheathing her knife as she neared me. She stood beside me, leaned onto the wall and crossed her arms. “You heard her perfectly clear.”

“Crystal,” I replied. Penny openly glared at me while Yula hid behind her. What’s wrong with that girl?

“Then you should know what to do.”

I sighed. If I leverage on my mate’s vulnerability, Helia might call it quits on whatever sort of game she has in mind and drop Luan from the mission. But being the selfish mate that I am, I didn’t want to. “Reire, I’m not going to negotiate with Helia. I want her back home.”

“Home,” she said with an undertone of mockery, “Is where she’s happy and content. I believe in her, Alpha Kyhan. She’ll make the right decision no matter what you offer her.”

She uncrossed her arms and beckoned for the two girls to follow her. “We have preparations to make. Luan knows where to find us.”

“I’d never betray her like your mate betrayed you, Reire,” I said firmly, making her stop in her tracks. Her fist clenched to her side. Penny and Yula took a step away from her, their faces fearful.

Slowly, her neck twisted to the side, showing me a profile of her face. “What did you say?”

I held my ground. “I don’t like repeating myself, Gamma.”

A blade suddenly went past me as I spoke those words, barely missing my cheek. I didn’t have to look behind me to know that Raphael caught it. I held my palm up and he neatly placed it on top of my palm. Silver and coated with wolfsbane - I suppose Luan’s was a gift from her.

“Never … speak of that man again,” she hissed, her gaze momentarily shifting to Raphael. She straightened herself then, gaining back her composure. “You’re delusional to hope that Luan wants her mate. If Helia hadn’t interrupted, I have no doubt she’d have slit your throat.”

I smirked. “She’s not like you, Reire. She’ll never be like you.”

She turned her back on me and walked away, Penny and Yula tailing behind her a good meter.

“Did you really have to do that?” Raphael asked when they were out of sight.

“Sorry. I suppose it was out of line.”

He pinched at his forehead and sighed. “This is a bad idea, Alpha. If Luan returns, I don’t think the pack will take it well. Besides, those two are functional now but once they see her …”

“Samuel is my Beta and Siel is my Head Gamma. Luan is from the Red Circle of the Red Claw Pack, assisting our pack to investigate the recent vampire attacks.” He let out another sigh as he figured out my point. “It’s just a joint operation, same as the ones before. Their duties come first before their feelings. The pack’s safety is at stake and is top priority.”

“You say all that but you have ulterior motives too,” he said.

“Rightfully so,” I replied, well aware that I sounded like a hypocrite. “I’m her mate.”

Raphael had a distant look on his face as he lowered his arms. “She was genuinely scared of me that day. It might’ve been for Samuel. I can’t tell.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

He smiled. “This mission might give me a chance to talk to her, too. Pray to the Goddess this goes well.”

He walked past me, headed for the exit like Reire and her friends earlier. “I need some air.”

“Raphael,” I called without turning to look at him. “If she’s hurt in any way when I’m not around, I’m holding you personally responsible this time.”

“You don’t have to,” he scoffed. “I already hold myself responsible for what happened last time.”

I turned to address him, but the hallway was empty. He had already gone.

After countless search parties failed to find her, we were all a mess. The brothers blamed Raphael, who as usual kept quiet and took all the ramifications of what happened. I argued with the brothers, pointing the blame particularly on Samuel for breaking my orders. It was a game of blame until at some point, I guess we came to realize that we were all at fault and guilty of something only she could verify.

I’m her mate and yet I failed to make her trust me. I didn’t make her feel safe. I didn’t make her feel wanted. I didn’t make her feel useful.

It was hard to believe that everything during our time together was all an act when I bought into her lies, her sweet smiles, and her silly antics. I loved her for as long as I could remember. However, when time came for me to prove it, I failed miserably.

I sighed and leaned on the wall. With Kai’s help, we eavesdropped on their conversation. I was desperate for answers or any clues that would guide me in the right direction.

“This is a personal request from Alpha Kyhan, Luan. Your Alpha agreed to help and I want you on this mission.”

Her Alpha … Kai bared his teeth at what he heard.

“But why?” Luan demanded. “You know what this means! You know what he did!”

“Did he?” Helia asked in a challenging tone. “Was it really him who left those marks in your body, Luan?”

“He -”

“Yes?”

“He knew what the pack did to me!”

“I see,” said Helia calmly. “Did he treat you the same way the pack did?”

Silence followed. “N-No, but -”

“While Alpha Liam has a reputation, he only gets involved when the Alpha of the pack has taken part in the abuse. In your case, I’m afraid the matter is for Alpha Kyhan to resolve. You can appeal that it took place during his father’s time, but is this really what you need, Luan?”

Kai whimpered and howled in pain. I didn’t like that Helia was forcing her into a corner, but this was also favorable for me.

“I don’t want anything to do with him or his pack! I need my freedom from the stupid mate bond and I - I -”

Her voice cracked. Pain seared in my chest. After two years of being apart, I could feel her emotions stronger now. There were times when it was unbearable. Sometimes, I couldn’t tell if it was hers or mine.

“You’ve been chosen for the mission for no other reason but to serve your purpose in this Circle,” said Helia softly.

“This is unfair,” she whispered. “I need to see Reire.”

“You need to see your wolf, Luan,” Helia advised. “I know she has a soft spot for you, but Reire might only cloud your decisions this time. A word of advice, Luan. Don’t look at me like that.”

The door opened wide, revealing a distressed looking Luan. And when she turned and saw me, the disgust on her face was expected. Am I really this horrendous to you?

She quickly walked away from me without uttering a single word. I hurried to catch up to her and match her speed.

“Cupcake -”

She stopped and turned to me. “Do not call me cupcake.”

“I can call you whatever I want,” I replied and Kai growled.

“Can’t you think before you talk!”

“Not now,” I replied, shutting him off.

“You are insufferable!” she spat, her fists shaking in anger as she resumed her walk.

Unsure of how to proceed further, I grabbed her arm and forcibly turned her around to face me. I held her arm out and opened her hand. Then I placed the necklace on her open palm. “Take it,” I said, my voice firm and more demanding than I intended it to be.

She raised her arm in an attempt to throw it but I held it firm before she could. “Don’t even think about doing what you’re thinking of,” I warned.

“I don’t want anything from you,” she hissed, her brows furrowed in annoyance.

“How about a proposition then?” I asked.

“No.”

“You haven’t listened to a thing!”

“Don’t want to. Don’t have to,” she replied as she tugged her arm free. “Now let me go!”

“If you wear this, you can ask me to do one thing for you. Anything, Luan. Anything at all at any time.”

“Fine!” She stopped her futile efforts. “I want you to accept my rejection.”

I swallowed hard, understanding full well that this was the risk I was signing up for. “You haven’t worn it yet.”

“What is this anyway?”

“A present,” I replied. “It’s a necklace I got for you.”

“I don’t need gifts from you.”

“Anything at all, Luan. I’ll do anything. If you tell me to kill myself, I will,” I promised out of desperation. “Just wear this for me … please.”

My grip loosened and she freed her arm. “Anything that I want?” she asked, her voice calmer.

“Yes.”

“Just one chance?”

“Yes.”

“At any time?”

“Yes.”

She crossed her arms and smirked. “Now isn’t this nice. The big bad Alpha being so compliant. If I tell you to follow me around for a day like a dog, would you do it?”

What happened to you? You used to be so sweet and kind. You were compassionate and caring.

“Yes,” I answered, the word leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.

“How do I know you’ll keep your word?”

“You don’t,” I deadpanned. “What you do know is that I’ll never accept your rejection. We can grow old together like this, I don’t care.”

“Don’t get any ideas,” she spat, her anger back.

“So do you want to do this or not?”

“Fine,” she said, extending her hand. “Deal?”

I held her hand, feeling the sparks creep under my skin. Much to her dislike, I intertwined our fingers together as I watched amused at the light shade of pink that tinted her cheeks. “You have my word … mate.”

“Don’t call me mate.” She turned to walk away again.

“You haven’t worn it yet.”

“Do I have to?”

“It’s part of the deal.”

“I’ll wear it later,” she muttered.

“No. You have to wear it now.”

She took a deep breath. I was pushing her buttons but I was desperate. She had to wear it.

“Please … Luan.”

“Oh for the sake of all f***s, fine!” She turned her back to me and presented the necklace with an open palm while her free hand raised her hair. “Put it on me now and leave me the f**k alone!”

I gathered the necklace from her palm and circled it around her neck. Her scent pervaded my lungs, making my head spin. It made these moments with her real. She was truly in front of me, alive and well, and more beautiful than the day I lost her.

“Will you hurry up?” she said, annoyed.

I took a deep breath. I linked the clasp to the chain and let it drop.

Luan wasted not a second as she let her hair down and faced me. The ring atop her chest presented itself like a vow. I raised my gaze to her face. Her eyes were closed, and her cheeks a deeper shade of pink. Soft pink lips creased into a flat line. “You look stunning … Luan.”

“What is this?” she asked, a hand feeling the ring. “You got me a ring?”

“It’s yours,” I said. “Always has been.”

“I’m not marrying you.”

I was in a way glad that she couldn’t see how pathetic I must’ve looked right now. I’d heard every insult one could possibly throw at me before, but her words were incomparable. I wondered if she could feel my pain. Maybe she was hiding it in the same way she tried to hide how much my touch affected her.

“I’m asking you to keep it in exchange for what we agreed upon. It belongs only to you.”

 “Whatever. Let’s get this over with so I can finally be free.”

Am I so disgusting, Luan?

I forced a smile to keep my voice from shaking. “Now before you reject me, I want you to think long and hard about what you want to ask for. We’re going back to the pack, cupcake.”

I tipped her chin up, amused at how cute she looked when she was mad. “You’re going to need me and my wolf to keep my Beta and Head Gamma away.”

“You are insufferable, Alpha Kyhan.” She said the words slowly to make her point.

“I know,” I replied as I smashed my lips against hers. The jolt of excitement and joy that coursed through my body was unlike any I’d felt before. It was exhilarating, but was cut short when she pushed me away.

She wiped her lips with her sleeve, brows furrowed tightly. “I wish I never met you that night,” she growled before storming away.

I wondered if she could feel the searing pain in my chest. Kai howled from her loss. With misty eyes, I watched helplessly as she disappeared among the trees. If she knew I came back for her, would she take back her words? If she knew how much I loved her, would she emerge from those trees and come running into my arms?

Telling her wouldn’t work. I even had to blackmail her to keep her close.

“Goddess, you look so heartbroken I almost feel sorry for you,” said a voice that I least wanted to hear right now.

“Nothing you say can stop me, Reire,” I said, casually wiping the stupid tear away.

“Oh I don’t plan on stopping you,” she said with a smirk. I don’t hit girls. I don’t hit girls.

“From the looks of it, Alpha, I don’t have to do anything at all.”

“Goddess, Reire. Just because your mate didn’t want you doesn’t mean I don’t want mine.” I walked past her to search for Raphael, wherever he went.

I craned my neck to one side and caught the blade she threw between my fingers. “Watch where you’re throwing those toys, Reire,” I said with a smirk as I looked back at her. “You don’t want to end up back where you started, do you?”

“Luan’s not yours to play with, Alpha Kyhan,” she said through gritted teeth.

Play with - like that was what Luan meant to me.

“She’s mine to do with as I please,” I replied nonchalantly then used my speed to be as far away as possible from her negativity. She’s mine, no matter what she thinks of me.

XXX