His Blind Mate

Chapter 09 Can’t Let Go

~ Kyhan ~

She’s here, and she looked more mature from when I last saw her. My wolf was running in circles in my head, howling in pure joy at having found our mate … again. He missed her - we both did. It was difficult without her but it didn’t matter anymore because we knew where she was now. Goddess, I would’ve charged a rock and split my head open if it was just my mind playing tricks on me. Since the bond wasn’t broken, I knew she was still alive. I just hadn't found her … until now.

“So she’s the one, Alpha Kyhan?” asked Helia as she stood by the open window of her office. The Red Circle’s buildings were more like highly secretive facilities. Two buildings, a majority of the walls floor to ceiling glass, one of which the women's quarters and the rest recreation and administrative, were located at the very heart of the territory.

On the open grounds, I watched the warriors of the Red Circle pile firewood by the center of fallen logs that were neatly arranged to surround it. A long table was situated on the side, different kinds of food on display. But as I searched for her face among the crowd, she was nowhere to be found.

I didn’t know what came over me that I said those words to her after months of being apart.

“You’re an i***t,” said Kai and I found myself agreeing.

I frowned as I remembered how mad she was at me - like I had caused her pain over the years. But what was my fault? I just wanted her to have a good time that day instead of boring her with administrative work, which was my job. If I knew she was going to kill herself then, I never would’ve left her alone. Never - not even for a second.

I turned my back on the sight and sat on a one-seater. “She’s my mate, Helia,” I explained, keeping my voice neutral.

The corner of her lip twitched, as if to suppress a snicker. I didn’t have to say a word. Her years were catching up to her, but it had also sharpened her wits and instinct. Having grown with her teachings, I’d long gotten accustomed to the fact that it was near impossible to hide anything from her. It never stopped me from trying, but this time, there was no point in even trying. My cupcake was within reach. Helia should understand.

“Two years ago, we found her by the river bank.” She shook her head lightly. “A scared little girl, much like the rest of her sisters when they first found themselves within our territories. Scared, yes ... doubtful, and in so much pain.”

Helia turned sharply, still in place, the hard click of a shoe on the cold marble tiles loud within these cream-colored walls of hardened cement. Empty grey eyes narrowed at me, calculating, gauging my every minuscule move. I kept my face passive and met her gaze with unyielding determination while trying to suppress the threatening hammering of my heart. I knew what she was thinking. I hoped she could see past it instead.

“Only those who seek refuge come to the Red Circle, even if by accident. Your mate has never spoken of you before, Alpha Kyhan. You, your pack, nothing about her past. The Red Circle doesn’t ask. We don’t have to. Every sister has a reason why she seeks to start anew.”

My wolf whimpered. Luan might’ve never spoken about her past, but she wouldn’t have forgotten. All the good and bad of her past shaped her into the warrior I faced this afternoon. And yet, even with her newfound strength, she was still hurting. My Luan ...

“Luan Laister belongs to my pack, Helia.”

Helia smiled. Her gaze relaxed and her eyes almost seemed amused. “Without a doubt, Alpha, she is a sister of the Red Circle.”

I clenched my jaw. s**t! This old fox knew just how to make people crack. I knew I was in deep waters - knew what finding her here meant. But I wasn’t about to let him stop me.

“You cannot keep her away from me,” I hissed. “A quarter of my life, I spent away from her.”

Kai growled. Our mate was here. By hook or by crook, we’d attach ourselves unto her hip. We’d be like pesky barnacles on the hull of a ship.

“By all means,” Helia replied, opening her arms as if in service, “Who am I to stop an Alpha from pursuing his mate?”

The corner of my lip tugged upward. “I am well aware of what you’re capable of, Helia. While more ... dramatic measures are at your disposal, a simple word to Alpha Liam would not only ruin my name, but it’d also place my pack under his mercy.”

She cackled - a sound that could easily be mistaken as mirth. To Helia, it was simply pride. At least I could serve as her amusement - perhaps only Alpha Liam was her most excellent student.

“You’re well aware of how the Red Circle works. I don’t have to remind you. I will, however, repeat this: unfortunately for you, Lue has been initiated. She is connected with the Red Circle. This no longer makes her a member of the Moon Stone Pack, Alpha. Lue is now a sister of the Red Circle, as well as a warrior of the Red Claw Pack.”

That’s ... impossible. My cupcake is ...

I hadn’t realized I was gripping the arm rest until Helia patted my hand. She called her Lue. I don’t think I've ever called her by any other name other than Luan and cupcake. My cupcake - she would always be this to me, no matter her past.

Healia offered a warm smile with matching soft eyes. It was in these rare moments that she wasn’t my mentor, but simply an old mother - or as I preferred to picture it, a tired old fox.

“She still remembers me, Helia,” I replied, forcing the words out as my chest tightened.

“What is it that you seek - to complete the bond between the two of you? Possession - to have your mark on her neck so she could never truly belong to another?” 

I raised my eyes to meet hers. I’d already known why I wanted her since long ago - her question didn't even scratch the surface. “No.”

Helia raised a brow. She straightened her back and walked back to the window. “Then for both your sakes, I hope you both find what you’re looking for, whatever they may be.”

I stood and headed for the door. “Thank you,” I said before leaving her behind to search for my mate.

“How did it go?” asked Raphael, pushing himself off the wall he was leaning on.

“Good. The Red Circle is willing to assist, but we’ll have to wait for Alpha Liam’s approval,” I replied. We were on the skyway bridge, about fifty meters from the ground and surrounded by glass. I scanned the crowd of women for Luan, but there was no sign of her still and neither was Reire.

Raphael followed along behind me, both hands on the back of his head. “How long will it take?”

“A few hours. Alpha Liam is ...” I had to pause to think of the right word. Focused? Obsessed? Ever since he lost his world, he’d been taking down packs left and right. There should be more rogues now but surprisingly, they were low in number. Rogue attacks had lessened. Word was that he spared only the children and the women who weren’t involved. I wouldn’t dare ask.

If he were to know about Luan ...

The footsteps behind me suddenly ceased, pulling me out of my thoughts. I glanced back at Raphael. He was staring at something, and his jaw was suspended in the air. Both hands pressed up against the walls. I swallowed, hard.

The man had seen battles and worse without experiencing neither surprise nor grief. He was cold, at least on the surface, taking down one enemy after another. All along I assumed nothing could surprise Raphael, until today.

I followed his line of sight, anxiety crawling under my skin. My heartbeat halted. It was for a split second, but it was enough to cause an explosion inside my chest, loud and sudden, that it rang in my ears before it faded. Then the next that I heard above the irregular rhythm of this uncontrollable organ was her carefree laughter.

Luan ...

Her laughter was the most delightful sound that had ever joined the winds. Kai was helping me. I could feel him lurking in the back of my mind, waiting for an opening so he could gain control of this body. But I mustn’t let him, not yet.

Luan was carrying a basket of apples, which I assumed was the sisters’ produce from the orchard. Beside her was Reire, whose arm was hooked around my mate’s. Unlike my cupcake, Reire was armed with her blades - her usual style.

But I didn’t want to think about why Luan would lower her guard. Surely, Reire had told her about my purpose here - that I would be in a meeting with Helia, though she didn’t know the details. Being the caring big sister that she was, she would’ve warned Luan that I would still be around.

Watching them now, it seemed like Luan didn’t care. Perhaps she pretended not to know or that Reire withdrew the information from her.

At this moment, I couldn’t care less. The one person who completely owned my mind, body, and soul was only a short distance away, flashing a smile and … laughing.

I missed that look on her face and that sound that made tiredness dissipate from my body - from those times when she was cooped up in our room and spent her days listening to whatever she could think of. Weren’t you happy with me?

Luan looked happy now. She was relaxed around her sisters as they prepared for an entertaining evening. There was no trace of fear or tension in her face, and no stress on her shoulders. To me, she seemed at home, and the flames of joy within me reduced to embers, for a shadow casted itself over my heart.

If she was content to live here, with her new life, her new everything, wouldn’t it mean I had no significance in her life, no place in her heart, and no space in her mind? Wouldn’t it mean that I, a respected Alpha in my own right, feared by my enemies and honored by my allies, was nothing but dust under her sole?

Back at Helia’s office, I was confident that I could win her back. Thinking how my interference could disrupt this safe bubble she had built around herself plagued my heart with guilt. 

I should be happy for her. Instead, a part of me wanted to pop that bubble and expose her true self.  Because as she laughed right now, I knew what I felt in the time she was far from my reach. Pain, and so much of it that I could feel it even if our bond was incomplete.

I’m a terrible mate, cupcake.

This is why you tried to kill yourself, didn’t you? I was too selfish to consider your needs. I forced myself into your space. And yet here I am, thinking of doing the same thing again ...

XXX