Having Her

Chapter 4

The smile on his lips was smug. "I told you, there are about 15.528% chances of..."

"Running into someone you know in Queens, yes, I remember." I cut him short. 

"And you wanted to take your chances, huh?"

"I trusted my odds," I frowned, "And owing to the fact that this is my mother's house, I didn't think the chances of running into you in particular should be considerably high."

"But here we are." He whistles.

"Here we are." I repeat, feigning a smile. "So," I added, "Why are you here?"

His gaze softened and he raised his hand to show a bouquet of white daisies. For a second, my heart beat picked up and my breath hitched thinking he was here for me and the fear of not knowing how to turn him down overcame me, until he gave me a more proverbial explanation, "Aliyah."

I breathed. "Flowers for a two year old girl, of course."

He seemed unfazed. "Why are you here?"

I raised my hand the same way he had to show him the chocolates I had bought. "Aliyah."

"Spoiling the little one's sweet tooth, of course." He mocked me in the same tone.

I rolled my eyes. "Kids love chocolates."

"You loved chocolates."

"Well, she's my niece, so..."

"Fair point." He snorted. "Now, shall we?"

"Don't think I have much of a choice here," I reply, my voice soft. If I had to bare him for the next couple hours- maybe even the next couple days until Sia and Cole back- might as well do it cordially.

He seemed content with me not throwing in another snarky remark and followed my lead to the front porch of my mother's house. I stood aside letting him ring the doorbell. It hadn't even been five full seconds of us standing in utter silence with me quietly tapping my toes on the doormat when he spoke up.

"So, you decided to go blonde?"

"Huh?" I scrunched my nose, then realising what he was talking about. "Oh no," I said, "That's... that's a wig."

"Out in the city?"

"Just exploring." I nod.

He nods back, and then the door was opened.

My mother seemed surprised on seeing us, not because we had come to her place, but because we had come together.

"Daisy, Caleb." She pulled a warm smile on her lips, "What a pleasant surprise seeing you both here... together."

I controlled the urge to roll my eyes as I stepped in to kiss my mother's cheeks and give her a hug. 

"New hair?" She asked with a frown when I pulled away, but it soon dissipated when she touched the synthetic strands and realised it was a wig. It looked and felt pretty real, sure, but my mother was an actress in her time and had worn too many wigs to not recognise one.

I stepped inside letting Caleb come ahead and hug my mother.

"Raina, I hope I'm not imposing." His voice was buttery smooth, making me shake my head to myself.

"No. Not at all, Caleb. You know you're always welcome home." Did I mention before? My mother loved Caleb. Loved.

"You're sweet." Even without looking back, I knew the smile on Caleb's lips. "Flowers for the lady."

"Aw, charming." 

And this time, I did roll my eyes as I turned behind to give Caleb a half-smirk. "Thought those were for Aliyah?" I snickered.

"They're for the hostess." He faked a glare.

I faked a smile in return.

"Mum, where's Aliyah?" I ask once they two step in. The house was... quiet, which was usually a hard thing to have when Aliyah was around.

"Aliyah is... asleep." My mom sighed.

My eyes widened. "Asleep?" I let myself glance at the time by my watch, and it was well past seven. This was not good.

"Yes," she shook her head. "She has a little too much strawberry sauce with her pancakes for lunch and didn't sleep in the afternoon because of the sugar rush. She was too tired to stay up later and slept an hour ago."

"Strawberry sauce, you say?" Caleb sniggered.

"Yeah," My mother smiled. "She loves strawberries."

Caleb's amused eyes turned to me. "Just like her aunt Daisy." 

I feigned a smile in front of my mother, not bothering to hide the pointed look when she looked away. Caleb knew all about my unhealthy fondness of strawberries as a school and college student. I loved strawberries, and everything about them. I still do, except it's toned down quite some. I wasn't as obsessed with them now as I was back then.

"Great to see you two getting along again," My mother mused. "Does that mean you two will be fine in each other's company for a while? I want to lie down for a while, I think my migraine's returning."

"I was here for Aliyah, I think I should leave," Caleb replied. Yes, I think he should leave too. "Perhaps I can come in tomorrow, and I'll make sure to call first next time." 

"Oh, don't do that," My mother shook her head. "I think you should stay. Zach and Anna are coming over in an hour or so too, as is Tara. Have dinner."

Caleb looked reluctant. His wandering eyes reached me, and held mine for a moment too long, making my mother turn to me as well.

"Stay." I shrugged, trying to make it seem casual.

My mother, for the first time, seemed happy. Otherwise, she's usually at my throat for behaving more cordially with Caleb without caring to know the reason why I was snarky with him in the first place. "If you want to invite Jay over too," she tells me, "Feel free to."

And this was... surprising. Did I forget to mention this as well? My mother wasn't fond of Jay. Well, she wasn't exactly not-fond either, it was just some kind of an in-between when I first introduced Jay to her years ago. But we soon parted ways, so her opinion was out of question. It was only a month or so that I and Jay had gotten back together, and she wasn't very happy about it but I think she'd warm up to him sooner or later.

"I'll be in my room." I say out loud, to no one in particular. Not my mom and definitely not Caleb. Just. To the air maybe. 

While I ascended up the stairs as quickly as I could, I heard my mother ask Caleb: "Do you have someone you'd like to have over too..?"

I got in and shut my room door behind me as quick as I could, blocking his answer out. There was no need to inflict pain to old wounds. We were older now and matured and we could co-exist. I could co-exist with whoever Caleb was dating now. I was sure I could. I could, right?

Keeping that thought in mind, I dialled my boyfriend. He picked up after quite the moment, making me wish he wasn't busy.

"Hello, sweetheart." His voice was warm and gentle. The thing I loved about Jay: even if he had a pathetically busy day, he knew how to give me some time out of it- even if it was just five minutes- and let that be my time fully, without hasting our conversation.

"Hey you," There was an instant smile on my lips as I leaned on the pane of my window. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing, just....work." He chuckled. "How about you? How was your day out in the city?"

"Uneventful." I reply. Except for the conversation I had with the homeless lady. And oh, except for when I ran into my ex at the front porch of my mother's house, despite there being only 15.528% change of meeting someone you know. God, I can't believe I have learnt that number by heart, all thanks to Caleb. He is so unbelievable sometimes- no, not thinking about him.

"So," I clear my throat, "I am at my mother's, and everyone's coming over for dinner. She asked me to invite you as well."

"Oh," his voice sounded apologetic. "I have a meeting with a client over dinner. I.. I don't think I can make it."

"Everyone's coming-"

"I know but-"

Overlapping his voice, I go on, "Zach, Anna-"

"I know, sweetheart-"

"Caleb, Tara, the boys-"

"Who?" His voice was stiff.

"The boys," I repeat myself, knowing very well that was not why he asked. "You know.. Tara's sons? Jace and Nicolas?"

"I know, Dais." He blows some air out of his mouth. "Caleb's going to be there?"

"Yeah," I answer, "He's come for Aliya, so.."

"Of course." I couldn't make it out from Jay's tone if he was being sarcastic or understanding. "Listen, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Do it in person," I coax. "I mean, if you have work and you can't make it tonight, I understand. But whatever it is you want to talk to me about, if it's important, leave it for whenever you see me next."

"Uh huh." I think I heard the smile in his voice. "How about, I come after dinner? Like.. to pick you up? I'll meet everyone, and then I'll take you away. A romantic drive, maybe some dessert, shield you from the paparazzi and then drop you hope?"

"Hmm. Tempting." I comment in a considering voice playfully.

"So, what's the final verdict? What do you say?" His voice was equally teasing.

I let the grin break on my lips. "I say it's a date!"

"It's a date then." He replied, equally cheerful. "I gotta go now. Do me a favour and take care of yourself, okay?"

"Okay." I bite my lower lip. "You too."

"Well, I am not the clumsy one. Or the trouble magnet."

"Shush. I still worry." I giggle.

He chuckled, staying silent for a second and I pause too, hearing him breathe. Then, he says, "Bye Dais."

"Bye." I reply, before cutting the call and taking a deep breath, the smile still lingering on my lips.

When the high of talking to him dies down, the guilt of leaving Caleb down alone gets back as I begin wondering if he left or stayed. He probably stayed. My mother could be very convincing when she wanted to be, especially with Caleb. He was just a third grade boy when they first met, Cole's best friend. If you see so, my mother had been like a mother to a lot of people, but couldn't be a mother to her own children. 

I shake those thoughts off, feeling tired of the unspoken past grudge I had bore against my mother as I walk down again. The living room was empty. He was probably in his room. Like I said before, Caleb had been Cole's best friend since they were only nine, which was the year after my mother flee, and when she re-entered our lives, she had to know who was her son's best friend. 

Caleb's parents had died in a crash only a year before that, and my Mum quickly took him under her radar of care, which was probably part of the reason she was so fond of him. 

Unconsciously, I walked to Caleb's room. The door was shut and even though I raised my hands to knock on his door, I ultimately decided against it. He could have his peace. We were doing good in behaving civil so far, and I wouldn't want to disrupt that equation now by pushing the bar and spending more time with him than I should.

Leaving him undisturbed, I go to the rooftop instead. I could really use some peace and fresh air. My head did kind of spin after spending the entire day out in the sun even with how fun it was.

I looked forward to the fresh air until I entered to a thick cloud of cigar smoke and my eyes fell on Caleb standing ahead of me, leaning on the railings with his back facing me, a cigarette occasionally alternating being held between his lips and his two fingers.

I coughed walking closer to him, not to grab his attention, but because of the prominent cigar scent in the air. Sensing me standing beside him, he puts the cigarette down, but doesn't throw it away just yet.

"Since when did you start smoking?" I ask, unable to stop the question lingering in my head.

He blinks his eyes at me. "As if you don't remember I used to smoke during.."

"College, yes," I completed, "I... just thought you'd quit after." Caleb had developed this habit of smoking when he was stressed and despite his careless attitude, College meant a lot of stress, which meant a lot of cigarettes. It had been quite a hard process to get him to quit.

"I had," He answered. "For a couple years." ..For a couple years when we were dating. I guessed those were the unsaid words.

I breathed a little more freely once the cigarette smoke had disappeared into thin air, moving a little apart from him, making him slightly chuckle as he threw the cigar aside, stomping it under his shoes before kicking it into the trash can, and it somehow landed straight inside.

I shook my head as I looked away. He was a soccer player in school, the quarterback, and he still had control over his steady foot moments. I, on the other hand, despite walking on ramps for a living, was still clumsy and felt uncoordinated a lot of times.

"You quit eating strawberries for a while then," He smugly smiled. I pursed my lips to hide the smile. That was the deal between us to get rid of his unhealthy obsession to smoking and mine to a berry- he quits cigarettes and I quit strawberries, at least for how long I could. Every week was a win with how obsessed I used to be.

"Some habits die hard." I answer, making him smile.

He chuckled, shaking his head and looked away, down at Zach's car pulling into the driveway.

My face lit up. Zach was my friend before being a step-brother, and had stood by my side just as much as Cole had. "Let's go?" I ask him for the sake of courtesy. Even if he wanted to not come, I was going down anyway.

"Let's go." He repeats after me nonetheless, walking in front of me until we reach the door, which is when he holds the door for me. I hide back a little smile.

"After you, Princess."

My smile disappeared as I walk straight out of that door, pressing my eyes shut tightly for a second to eat up the tug I felt in my heart.

I didn't know why he called me that. It was a nick name he gave me in school because he lived under the delusion that I was a pretty rich damsel in distress waiting for a knight in shining armour, be even after he learnt the truth, it just kind of stuck by. It went from being a mocking endearment to something he called me with affection, and Caleb Miller had a silver tongue that didn't usually slip. Maybe he mocked me.

Just like he used to when we were plain friends.

Or maybe some habits do die hard after all.

*