My Best Friend's Ex

The After Party

Libby may only have lived a short distance from my house, but she occupied a completely different world than I did. No one had to park in her yard or squeeze into Libby’s driveway to find a parking space, and everyone could go swimming at the same time, in her large, in-ground heated swimming pool. Her pool was enormous compared to mine. So, the ‘real’ party was essentially the after-party. She had a beautiful, finished basement with a pool table and a huge flat-screen TV. This was the central gathering point of her parties and also the room where everyone would bunk when sleeping at Libby’s parent-free house.

As the line of cars arrived at Libby’s house, everyone made a beeline for the swimming pool, which always seemed to be their first choice. Most of the girls stripped down to their skimpy bikinis or undergarments—the boys stripped to their boxers or board shorts. Me, however, I quietly sank to the back of the crowd and made my way to the bathroom. Slowly I undressed and put on my one-piece bathing suit. As I said before, I am far from your size zero. But I’m not a cow either. I’m just not two-piece bathing suit material. Hell, I still go into the bathroom stall at school to change into my gym clothes for gym class. I would rather stick nails in my eyes than allow anyone to see my body, even slightly naked. Why would I want to put anyone through that type of agony? When I finished changing into my black, one-piece bathing suit, which I specifically chose, because I had read somewhere that dark colors are slimming, I wrapped a large cotton towel around my body to cover myself up. But before exiting the bathroom, I glanced in the mirror, giving myself a once over.

Welp, This is as good as it gets.  

Sluggishly I made my way out to “my” after-party. The closer the music and talking became, the tighter, I pulled my cotton towel to my body.  When the pool came into view, the familiar nauseous feeling I have grown accustomed to returned.  I hate wearing bathing suits. And right now, the only thing between me and total embarrassment was the brown towel hugging my body. Frozen on the patio next to the pool, I knew I resembled a deer in the headlights.

“Alex. Earth to Alex.”

Somewhere in the back of my mind, it registered that someone was calling my name. My friend Mandi was floating on a raft in the pool wearing a teeny tiny blue two-piece that sparkled when the light hit it, and her blond hair was tied back in a ponytail.  I smiled and waved to her; Mandi yelled, “There you are, birthday girl!  It’s about time you showed up.”

Since Mandi had drawn attention to me, I decided it was now or never.  I dropped the towel on a chair next to the pool and didn’t hear anyone gasp in horror.  Nor did I hear any shrill screams, and no one panicked and ran in the other direction.  Instead, the party kept going just as it had been, and my moment of horror passed without incident. 

I slowly walked down the pool steps feeling the cold water touch my feet and move up my thighs until fully immersing me to the top of my chest.  I felt less vulnerable in the water. It was as if it secretly hid my body, and no one could see me through it, even though it was crystal clear.  As my body adjusted to the cold water, my lips shivered slightly from both it and the night air that surrounded my face.  Some students were playing a game of chicken, others were making it to second base under the waterfall in the deep end of the pool, and others were just swimming and talking.  I, on the other hand, found what I had been looking for. . .  Ben. He was on the patio on the other side of the pool, sporting dark blue board shorts, which hung just right from his hips. My eyes ventured down his chest, across his tight abs, and stopped on the perfect V, forming just above his waistband.  He was talking to some other guys about the legion baseball game. Listening to him talk, I heard we lost the game and were no longer in the playoffs.  Ben didn’t seem too upset about it, so I made a mental note to ask him about it later.  While salivating from my mouth, Ben must have felt my eyes burning a hole through him because, on cue, he turned and met my eyes.

“Hey, birthday girl! How’s the water?” 

“Not too bad! You should jump in and see for yourself.”

Ben took two steps backward and then took a running leap into the pool, doing a perfect cannonball. He swam underneath the water toward me, my heart racing, his hands tapped my legs, spreading them apart and swam through the middle, just slightly brushing against my inner thighs, and popped up behind me. Laughing, I spun around to find him directly in front of Libby, who was sitting on the pool stairs with half of her body submerged.  She was wearing a black string bikini with white polka dots, which showed off her perfect body impeccably.  I swear she got her clothes perfectly tailored to fit her body. 

“Why are you sitting over here and not swimming?”  Ben asked her.

“I don’t want to get my hair wet,”  she said simply.

Well, I’m sure you can figure out where this is going. Someone, please cue the music for the flirty moment about to transpire between them. Gag me.

 Ben playfully grabbed Libby around her waist and picked her up, hugging her close to his body as she halfheartedly tried to break free.  He swung his body to gain momentum and tossed her into the pool.  Libby splashed into the water next to me and then popped up, failing and gasping for air like a half-drowned dog.  

“Get Him!” she managed to choke out. Libby grabbed my arm, dragging me with her.

“Dunk his ass.”

I guess this was punishment for Ben’s indiscretion against Libby’s hair.

 She jumped onto Ben’s back while I grabbed his arms, trying to shove him below the surface of the water, but we didn’t last long. Ben playfully broke free of my grip and gently tossed me back into the water. He then spun his body to grasp Libby once again and threw her into the water next to me. The rest of the group noticed the fun chaos ensuing and decided to join in, so now everyone was in the pool, playfully fighting.  Libby and I were still determined to dunk Ben. Jumping onto Ben’s back, I wrapped my arms around him to force him under until he unexpectedly immersed himself. Libby and I watched as he swam in between Libby’s legs and stood up with her on his shoulders.  Libby screamed and grabbed onto Ben’s head for support.  When she found her balance, she finally let go, and suddenly Ben and Libby were playing a game of pool chicken with Mandi and her boyfriend, Dean.

Watching them fight, I found myself rooting for Libby and Ben. 

Don’t get me wrong I would rather have been on Ben’s shoulders, but if any girl besides me were going to be on Ben’s shoulders, I would rather it have been my best friend. 

Libby grabbed onto Mandi’s shoulders and gave her a big shove backward. Dean tried to correct his balance, but he tipped back, causing him and Mandi to fall into the water.  Loud cheers erupted from all around the poolside as Libby thrust her arms into the air in celebration.  During the pandemonium, I hadn’t realized that all other activity in the pool had ceased, and the spotlight shifted onto the chicken fight.  Mandi popped out of the water, sputtering and looking around for her boyfriend.  As redheaded Dean popped out just in front of her, she pushed him back under.  Dean made it to the surface once again for a breath of air, and Mandi playfully pushed him in the chest.  “Nice work, asshole,” she said. “You were supposed to keep me above the water.” 

 “Well, I know how much you like to go down,” he said.

            “You’re disgusting” Mandi looked pissed

            “Oh, don’t act like you don’t enjoy going down on me just because there are people around. You know you love it.”

Mandi looked mortified.

   Upon hearing this, I jumped toward Dean and pushed him back under the water, eliciting cheers from the girls around the pool and a nod of approval from Mandi. 

“You’re a d**k,” I said as Dean came back to the surface,

“Yeah, well, this is one d**k you’ll never get your hands on,”

With a look of disgust, I spit out,  “Trust me; I wouldn’t be able to find it even if I tried. I’m used to handling things bigger than two inches.  Mandi must use tweezers or something.” which, of course, I had no idea what I was talking about, but what the hell. 

The crowd broke out into a chorus of “oohs.” Dean didn’t quite know what to say to this.   Clearly, he was unprepared for this insult.   Alex, 1; Dean, 0.  I couldn’t help but feel proud for putting Dean in his place.  He could be so rude sometimes.  He used to call me the “Pillsbury Doughgirl” and poke me in the belly. Then he would do the little Pillsbury Doughboy laugh, so he deserved this embarrassment.

The strange thing about Dean was that he and I used to be really good friends.  We used to play together all the time.  I’d be Leonardo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and he’d be Michelangelo.  We would run around his back-yard, fighting imaginary mutants together.  I actually used to be closer to Dean than I was to Libby.  I used to sleep over at his house weekly. I even remembered the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pajamas he wore to bed.  He was one of my best friends, but now it seemed like he couldn’t stand to be around me. It was as if his whole goal in life was to make my life a living hell.  To Dean, I was just the chubby girl that didn’t belong.  So the burn I threw his way was bittersweet because I still saw him as that little boy in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pj’s who used to be my best friend.  I didn’t like embarrassing him, but he had it coming. 

After the exchange between Dean and me, everyone lost interest in the swimming pool and moved on to various other activities. By two in the morning, everyone sluggishly made their way into Libby’s game room.  I again made the journey to the bathroom to change into my pj’s, which consisted of loose-fitting black cotton pants and a light blue spaghetti-strap tank top. 

This is as sexy as it gets folks.

Back in the game room, I discovered that people had begun to find their spots for the night.  Mandi and Dean had propped themselves on the only couch available and were covered by a red fleece blanket.  Mandi was giggling from underneath, and there was a lot of movement going on. 

It didn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out what was happening under there. 

Libby was lying on her black bean-bag chair in her teeny tiny pink shorts that had “Sweet” written across her ass. Her short tank top exposed her lower back. Libby obviously chose this outfit because it showed off her ummm… assets.  Hell, if I had the assets Libby had, I would be doing the same thing.  Libby looked half asleep, so I grabbed the blanket off of the ottoman and laid it on top of her.  She looked up at me and smiled before closing her eyes.  Now I had to try to claim a place for the night.  Looking at the bodies scattered over the floor, I noticed that my only option was the center of the room.  There were still a few spots available on the floor between the couch Dean and Mandi inhabited and the reclining leather chair that Joe had claimed for himself.  Joe was our local weed-head.  He kept most of the individuals in our group fully supplied with weed and bongs.  He was always fun to have around to make a few munchy jokes and references to the movie “Half Baked.”  I never really got the jokes because when Joe let me try weed for the first time, I didn’t quite know how to inhale, so while everyone else was getting high and laughing their asses off, I was stuck pretending to be high because I was too dense to know how to use a damn bong.  Bongs should come with instruction manuals, as far as I’m concerned. Like a book called “Getting High for Dummies.”  I never tried the stuff again, and now I was often stuck playing babysitter while my friends and Libby got high.  Luckily, Joe hadn’t brought any weed to share with the crowd today; it looked like he had kept his entire stash to himself tonight. He was completely passed out, with a great big smile plastered on his face. 

I decided that the middle of the floor was just as good as any other place, so I grabbed a white cotton blanket from the closet and took my place on the carpet.  Despite having no pillow or a soft place to rest, I was the happiest I had been in a while because lying there, I was able to replay Ben’s hug in my mind. That was until soft moaning escaping from under Dean and Mandi’s blanket drew me out of my daydream.

Dear God, please make it stop. These noises will haunt my nightmares for weeks to come.

  Bringing my blanket closer to my face, I tried to block out the sounds coming from them so they wouldn’t stain my memory of the hug. 

Maybe I should try holding my ears and humming. The Sun will Come Out Tomorrow.

“Alex.” Someone hissed near my ear.

“Holy f**k!” throwing the blanket off my head. “You scared the s**t out of me.”

“Sorry,” Laurel said, scooching beside me.  Laurel was a pretty girl with light brown hair and a medium build and height.  I had always felt comfortable around Laurel because she was the type of person that never had a bad thing to say about anyone; she always tried to see the good in people.  Sometimes I wondered if she secretly wondered how she got invited into the “it” group too. 

Laurel laid down with her blanket and whispered, “I guess we’ll be cuddling next to each other for the night.”  We jokingly moved closer to one another and pretended to cuddle, but soon more movement came from behind me. Feeling the blanket lifting from my body, I quickly turned to see who was there. Ben’s green eyes stared into mine.

“All of the other sleeping spaces are taken.  Do you mind if I share your blanket?”

 Technically, the space Laurel and I occupied was only big enough for two people to fit comfortably, but there was no way in hell I was going to tell Ben he wouldn’t fit. 

“Sure,” I said. “We can always make room for one more.”  Ben slipped under the blanket and moved in close to me.  I was lying on my right side, so Ben did the same and spooned me.  Laurel, realizing that we would all fit more comfortably if we were lying in the same direction, rolled to her right side too.  So here I was right in the middle of a big spooning party or an Alex sandwich. 

I could feel the warmth of Ben’s body on my back and his breath on my ear.  His closeness caused strange tingles to shiver up and down my spine.  For so long, I dreamed of lying like this with Benjamin Flynn, and finally, on my seventeenth birthday, I’d gotten my wish. 

Just when I thought I couldn’t be any happier, Ben whispered in my ear.

“Do you mind if I put my arm under your head?  It’s really cramped here, and I think it will be easier if you use my arm as a pillow. Then I can stretch my arm out.”

I raised my head, and he slid his arm into the free space.  Naturally, this movement brought us even closer together. I tried to remain calm, but my breathing slowly became more and more erratic as I focused on the feeling of Ben’s hard chest, pushed tightly against my back.  Wrapped in the warmth radiating from his body, I was in pure heaven; even the noises coming from Mandi and Dean couldn’t ruin this moment for me.  I snuggled closer into Ben’s body and began to forget that Laurel was lying right in front of me.  She seemed oblivious to the emotions that were running through me.  My body had never felt this alive before.  Every nerve ending had suddenly come to life, and I could feel every movement Ben made.  I was so tempted to roll over and place my head on his rising and falling chest to listen to his heartbeat, but that’s when I noticed the snoring.  Ben had fallen asleep already and was snoring into my ear! While I was lying here in heaven, Ben was oblivious to the emotions and tingles raging within me.  Sadness threatened to ruin one of the greatest moments of my life, but as I lay there, cuddled next to him, I used the moment to pretend like he wanted to be holding me close.  I closed my eyes, and the most peaceful sleep that I had ever had in my entire life followed. 

In the morning, I was woken by Laurel, stirring next to me. Somehow she managed to place her arm on top of my face and was successfully smothering me.  Slipping from underneath her arm, I realized that the warmth that had been behind me all night had disappeared.  My eyes were still adjusting to the light as I tried to read the time on the DVD player under the big-screen TV.  I was pretty sure it read 7:38 a.m. I sat up and looked around the room; many bodies were still sprawled out on the floor, fast asleep.  Libby remained curled up on her bean bag chair, still covered with the blanket I had given her last night. Dean and Mandi were finally asleep after what seemed like hours of torture, listening to them laughing and moaning under their blanket, not caring about the twenty or so people who were in the same room with them.  Ben, the one person that I was most interested in finding, was nowhere to be found.  I still remembered how it felt to be lying so close to him and feeling his breath on the back of my neck. 

Sitting up, I arched my back, stretching my muscles and noticing someone across the room standing in the doorway to the patio.  The figure, silhouetted by the morning sun, motioned toward me. After a moment, I realized it was Ben trying to get my attention. Springing to my feet, I rushed to him.  As I neared the sliding glass door, my mind started racing.  Maybe Ben hadn’t just used the sleeping space next to me as a last resort. Perhaps he had genuinely wanted to be near me, and last night was his way of secretly getting the chance to be close to me.  Maybe, just maybe, Ben liked me, too.  However, just as quickly as that thought entered my mind, it was replaced promptly by common sense.  Of course, Ben hadn’t wanted to be spooning me on the floor all night.  He would have preferred to be over on the bean-bag chair snuggled close to Libby.  If Libby hadn’t fallen asleep so quickly last night, she would have been the one feeling Ben’s warmth behind her.  Instead of me in his arms, it would have been Libby.  My body shivered at the thought.

As I stepped onto the stone patio, Ben quietly closed the sliding glass door behind me. The morning dew on the patio was cold beneath my feet, and the water in the pool sparkled like diamonds from the sun’s rays. I could just barely hear the pool’s waterfall in the distance

It was a beautiful morning to be told I love you. That is unless your name was Alexandra Thompson.

 Ben walked to the patio table and sat down, motioning for me to join him.  All of my senses remained heightened from last night.  I sat down on the cold metal chair and lifted my feet, hugging my knees tight to my chest and resting my chin on top.  Looking into Ben’s green eyes, I asked, “What’s going on?” 

“I really need to talk to you about something.  In fact, I have wanted to talk to you about this for a while now, but there never seemed to be a good time.”  Again I found myself foolishly believing he did like me and wanted to tell me he had been in love with me for years, but he didn’t want to ruin our beautiful friendship.  My dark brown eyes widened, and a grin began to crawl across my face.  I was pretty sure my cheeks were getting rosier by the second. 

“I know you are Libby’s best friend,”

Right away, I knew where this was going. The exact moment Ben mentioned Libby’s name, a light bulb went off in my head.

You have got to be shitting me. He’s using me to get to Libby.

“And I thought you would be the best person to talk to.  You know her better than anyone else, so I’m hoping you can help me out.”

 I took a deep breath and calmly tried to steady myself.  It felt like I had been sucker-punched in the stomach.  I tried not to let the disappointment register on my face, realizing that not only was he using me to get closer to Libby, but he wanted me to help hook them up too.  Tears welled up in my eyes, but I didn’t allow them to escape.  There was no way I was going to let Ben know he’d just unknowingly broken my heart

“I really like Libby, and I want to ask her out, but I don’t know how she feels about me. She’s always giving me a friend vibe, but I have liked her since Freshman year, and with our Senior year starting soon, I thought what the hell. What do you think?”

 Accepting what he was sharing with me, my breathing went back to normal, and the tears in my eyes began to vanish.  Of course, he liked Libby; I always knew he did.  Why was I doing this to myself?  He was a ten, and I was a five. Immediately I was sure he had only shown up at my party because he knew Libby was going to be there.  Hell, he was probably only my friend because he wanted to get information about Libby.

While trying to convince my brain that Ben became my friend because of me and not to get closer to Libby, I realized I had missed part of our conversation. Ben had shifted gears and began talking about his family-owned cabin up north next to the Clarion River.  He wanted Libby and me to come up next weekend to go camping.  Even though I knew he only wanted me there so Libby would go, I was excited to spend more time with Ben, outside of school.  

I’m so pathetic.

He just told me he wanted Libby, but here I am still getting excited at the chance of spending more time with him. Who am I kidding? I would do anything Ben asked me to do.

We discussed how to convince Libby to come with us because she wasn’t precisely camping material, but then again, it wasn’t like we would be sleeping in a tent.  Ben planned on using the time at camp to talk to Libby about how he felt.  We decided that it would be better if we invited a couple more people so it wouldn’t look suspicious.  I suggested Laurel, and he suggested Dean.

“Hell, no! There is no way on God’s green Earth that I am going into the wilderness with that dickhead.”

 “Yeah,” Ben said, laughing. “Dean can be an asshole sometimes; let’s leave him at home for this one.” 

We both agreed that Jake would be a good fit.  Jake played on the football team with Ben, and I knew him from other parties.  He had a crush on Laurel, so it would be easy to talk him into coming if I could get Laurel to join us. 

Wait a damn second. This is quickly turning into a double date, with me being the odd one out. FUUUUUUCK!

Ben typed his number into my cell and asked me to call him after I spoke to Libby. I was thrilled to have the opportunity to talk with him on the phone, even though it was to help him attain something that would crush my heart.

“I need to head out early because I have to be at work at ten.”

Ben worked at our local movie theater, and he was always eager to find ways to sneak members of our group into movies for free. 

“Thank you so much for doing this, Alex,” he said.

 I smiled and nodded.  “Ben, it’s not a problem. I’ll figure out a way to talk Libby into coming” With this, Ben smiled and gave me a quick hug.  

Oh my god, two hugs from Benjamin Flynn in 24 hours.

“Happy Birthday again; I hope it was a good one,” he said, and walked away.  What he didn’t realize was that it had been an amazing one because of him. Bizarrely, even though I was broken-hearted to be setting up my life-long crush with my best friend, I was also excited because this was the closest I had ever felt to Ben in my life.  I watched him walk across the driveway to his black pick up.  Getting in, he waved and pulled onto the road.

As soon as he was out of sight, and I was utterly alone, I figured it would be the perfect time to release the emotions which had been bubbling near the surface for so long. Soon I was weeping like a baby and hiding my face in my knees to stifle my loud, uncontrollable sobs.  I would allow myself this one cry.  For this one moment, I was allowed to be upset.  Hell, for this moment, I was allowed to be more than upset, I was allowed to be f*****g pissed off at the world. Lifting my head and wiping the wetness from my eyes, I stared at the waterfall cascading into the pool.

I can do this. 

I stuck my chin up and nodded to myself.  I would give Ben what he wanted.  I would make sure that this worked out because I wanted him to be with the person he desired.  If you care about someone, then you want them to be happy no matter what, right?  So I made the decision then and there that I would do whatever it took to bring Libby and Ben together, even if it broke me down inside.  I had been putting a show on for years. How hard could this be?