My Best Friend's Ex

The Dance

It took a few weeks for the bruise on my right eye to fade, but it did fade and thank god it vanished before homecoming.  Libby and Ben were still dating, but Libby was becoming more and more restless. They had been dating for almost two and a half months, and Libby was feeling trapped.    She continually complained about the lack of physical connection she had with Ben, and she felt like he was emotionally smothering her. Whatever the hell that means.   I often found myself persuading Libby to stay with Ben telling her not to focus on the lack of s*x occurring in their relationship but instead concentrating on how caring and considerate Ben was.  I put on a daily show for Libby that highlighted all of Ben’s pros, both physically and emotionally, because every day, I had to sell Libby on the idea of not dumping Ben.  Sometimes I felt like I wanted their relationship to work more than Libby did.  Ben, on the other hand, continually came to me for advice about Libby.  He felt like she was avoiding him because Libby was always busy and unavailable.  The truth is Libby was avoiding him, and I was stuck walking a thin line between the two people I cared about the most in my life.  I couldn't imagine either one of them being sad or hurt, and I certainly wasn’t going to be the bearer of bad news.  I decided it would be in everyone’s best interest if I kept Libby’s frustrations about Ben hidden from him and continued to encourage Libby to give a relationship with Ben a real try.

As homecoming approached, Libby and Ben spent even more time apart.  They didn’t even seem to really know each other anymore.  However, Libby was running for homecoming queen, and Ben was to be her escort, so I knew they would at least stay together until after homecoming.  Libby knew Ben improved her chances of being named homecoming queen because so many people liked Ben.  I couldn’t argue with her; they made the perfect couple on the surface:  Ben was the quarterback of the football team, and Libby was the head cheerleader.  I’m not stupid; I’ve seen the movies, and the beauty queen always gets the handsome jock.  The awkward and unattractive friend never gets the jock.  I know where my place was in this movie. I was playing the supporting role as a best friend.  It’s pretty damn sad I wasn’t even the heroine in my own life story.  As Ben confided in me more and more, we became closer friends.  I felt closer to Ben than I did to Libby because I couldn’t understand why Libby didn’t see what I saw in Ben.

Homecoming was quickly approaching, and Deerfield High School was buzzing with energy.  Final preparations were being made for both the homecoming ceremony and the game.  Libby was busy with cheerleading and homecoming obligations, so her schedule was full.  Ben was busy with football practice, so he wasn’t available. So to keep from completely losing my mind from utter boredom, I decided to join the float committee.  

I know-pretty lame! But what else was I going to busy myself with?  Most of my friends were either on the cheerleading squad or the football team.  I told you I didn’t know how I ended up with this group of friends.

This year’s theme was “Once Upon a Time.” The other seniors in our class had practically thrown Tim Carter into chairing the float committee because he was such a fantastic artist. Funny tidbit, I use to have a little crush on Tim, but it was nothing compared to the feelings I had for Ben. Tim was not a jock, but he could hold his own if he had to.  He just chose not to.  Tim designed most of the float and enlisted the help of mostly art club students.  There were only a few non-art club students helping with the float, and one of them just happened to be me. 

Tim and I had a bit of a strange history together.  Tim was the first guy I asked out. Kind of.  I had never been on an official date, but during our junior year, everyone was going to prom, and no one was going stag in my group of friends.  I was too embarrassed to ask any of the guys that were in my main group of friends because, to them, I was just the strange girl that somehow was let into our clique.  The guys in my group of “friends” treated me more like an individual who had been allowed membership into their group because every four years and a blood moon, they take pity on a poor soul and offer them popularity.  Yay for me, I got to be the chosen one to fit that position.  So instead of being the only girl in our group to go solo to the junior prom, I decided to “nut up” and ask someone myself.  Tim was always very kind-hearted and thoughtful. He had short strawberry-blonde hair and was about six inches taller than me.  There was a boyish cuteness to him, but his best attribute was his compassionate crystal-blue eyes. I knew Tim didn’t have it in him to say no to a desperate girl, and that’s exactly what I was- desperate.  We had a few classes together, and I always enjoyed talking to him, so I decided to bite the bullet and ask him to prom.  Even if he said no, I knew he would be considerate about it and not make me feel like an i***t.  Surprisingly, he agreed to go with me.  We had fun, at least I think he had fun, and he was a complete gentleman, spending the entire night by my side.  But after prom, Tim and I didn’t talk any more than usual.  Our little friendship stayed precisely the same.  At the time, I was disappointed because I had formed a little crush on him, but he didn’t seem interested.  He was just too nice of a guy to say no to a girl that he wasn’t even interested in.  It takes a real gentleman to do that for a girl.  He could have said no and left me high and dry, but he didn’t.  So for that reason, I think I will always have a special place inside my heart for Tim because he didn’t have to say yes, but he did.

            The float looked amazing; Tim had outdone himself this year.  To go with the “Once Upon a Time” theme, Tim designed a twelve-foot-high wooden castle with turrets, a drawbridge, and a blue plastic wrap moat.  Each tower had a red or black flag to represent our school colors.   Last but not least, there was a dragon, which lay on the opposite side of the castle. Tim was going to play the part of the warrior knight.    Just like Tim, I, too, had an essential job for the parade portion of the float. Yeah right, I don’t think so. Like they would trust me with something vital.  My job was to walk in front of the float with a sign that read Seniors 2020. 

Yes, I know, I don’t know what the senior class would have done without my assistance.  I’m sure they would have been lost without me. I was desperately needed! 

The group obviously gave me the most unimportant job so that I wouldn’t screw anything up. So while I played sign holder for our float, Libby had a starring role as head cheerleader, and Ben played the part of the star quarterback. 

Do we see the problem here? I told you it was a complete mystery how I managed a role in our social group.

Libby was elected homecoming queen by a landslide. Shocker!  She looked amazing on the football field while being escorted by her quarterback boyfriend, Benjamin Flynn.  They were a couple pulled right from a romantic teen movie.  Libby and Ben fit every teen cliché that you could think of except for the guy being a dumbass horny jock.  Ben was a jock, but he was interested in so much more than s*x, and he wasn’t a dumbass. As soon as the crown was placed on Libby’s head, everyone knew they were the ultimate couple, and everything was as it should be in my teenage hell.  I had never seen Libby so excited in my entire life.  She buzzed around the stadium like a hummingbird on speed.  The football game wasn’t a disappointment, either.  In the last few minutes of the fourth quarter, the Warriors were down by three, but Ben was able to complete an impossible throw into the end zone, which won us the game by three points. 

Now you may be thinking wow, homecoming queen, and hero quarterback.  How can Alex compete with that?

It was also an eventful night for me, for two very different reasons, the first being that the senior float won first prize, and I must say that a lot of that win had to do with how well the senior sign was being held.  Yes, I know, please don’t thank me.  The second reason was because of Ben. 

After the football game, all of the junior and senior high school students attended a dance in the Deerfield gymnasium.  Everyone dressed in whatever they wore to the game except for the homecoming attendees and their escorts.  The gym looked like someone had thrown up red and black decorations on every space available.  Black and red organza covered the walls, transforming the gym into an unrecognizable sea of red and black.  Luckily for the single ladies, the DJ mostly stuck to upbeat tracks, but it was inevitable that he would eventually play a few slow songs.  During the first few slow songs, I noticed Libby and Ben dancing.  Libby had her head on Ben’s shoulder, and he laid his head on hers.  They were the epitome of the ultimate happy couple.

The other dateless girls and I awkwardly found something else to entertain ourselves with during the slow dances.  Some of us made perfectly timed trips to the bathroom, some of us huddled near the bleachers and acted like we were consumed by our very important conversations, and others chose to keep dancing slowly in a small group.  I was with the group that huddled in deep conversation.  I acted as if there wasn’t anything that could tear my attention away from our vital discussion.

Nope, not having a date wasn’t bothering me at all.  It was all good. Nothing bothered me about being dateless and watching the boy I am obsessed with dance with my best friend over and over and over again on repeat.  Could we please stop with the slow songs my ego can’t take much more?   

As the D.J. began what seemed to be a non-stop bombardment of slow songs, I felt a tap on my shoulder.   The last thing I expected to see when I turned around was standing in front of me.  Ben.  He looked astoundingly gorgeous tonight. After winning the football game, he had changed into a charcoal double-breasted suit to represent the homecoming court with Libby.  Under his suit jacket, he wore a white button-up dress shirt with a light pink tie to coordinate with Libby’s blush-colored dress.  He looked like he had been ripped right out of an ad for a high-end fashion magazine. 

Ben grinned and held out his hand, “Alex, may I have this dance?”  I was stunned.  Why would Ben ask me to dance when he was here with Libby?  I looked around the dance floor to find Libby but was unable to see her in the sea of slow dancers.

“Oh no,” I squeaked “That’s okay.  You should go dance with Libby.” 

“I have been dancing with Libby. Plus, Libby knows I’m over here, and she’s fine with it.”  My eyes widened in embarrassment. There was only one reason Ben would ask me to dance:  Libby had sent him over here to ask me.  “Oh, I see,” I said dryly. “Poor little Alex is all alone and without a date.  So, of course, Libby has to have pity on me and send her boyfriend over to dance with me.  How nice of her to share, but no thanks. I’m not a charity case.” I stormed away from Ben, burning with rage.  How could Libby send her boyfriend over to dance with me?  I was not her pity project.  I weaved my way through the crowd of slow dancers, trying to keep my cool until I made it out of the school building.  My eyes started to water, but I was determined to hold in my tears until I could release my embarrassment and rage in privacy.  Spotting the nearest exit, I slipped out a side door leading to the parking lot.  Bursting through the door, I was stung by the cold autumn air. The temperature difference from the gym to outside sent an instant chill shuddering through my body.   I ran around the corner and threw my back against the red brick wall.  Tears stung my eyes.  How could Libby treat me like her personal charity case?  I know she asked Ben to dance with me because she didn’t want me to feel left out, but still, I’m not a child, even though I was acting like one at this moment.  I rested the back of my head on the cold bricks and looked up.  The sky was clear, and it seemed like every star in the universe was visible tonight.   I could still hear the assault of slow songs blasting from the gym. 

For crying out loud, did the DJ run out of fast songs? Give a chick a break for goodness sake. A cold breeze kicked up, sending a violent shiver down my spine. Damn it; I left my jacket in the gym. There was no way in hell I was going back in there, especially after throwing a tantrum like a three-year-old toddler and running away with my tail between my legs.   

I wrapped my arms tightly around myself, hearing the side door burst open and heavy footsteps striding down the sidewalk.  I peeked around the corner and could make out a tall figure moving towards the parking lot.  I couldn’t tell who it was because the night sky provided the only light. 

“Alex, where are you?”  It was Ben.  I held my breath and leaned back into the brick wall.  “Alex, I saw you go out this door,”  I hesitated. “Come on, Alex,”  he called out once more.

“What do you want?” I shouted.  He spun around, realizing that he had walked right by me and hadn’t even noticed.  He strode toward me, and as he got closer, I could make out the stern look on his face, one that I was not accustomed to seeing.  Instinctively I backed as far as I could against the brick wall. Reaching me quickly, Ben placed both hands on the wall, one on the left and the other on the right side of my face caging me in place. Ben brought his head down to look into my eyes at eye level. “Why did you run away?” he asked calmly. 

“I didn’t run away; I walked away very quickly with a purpose. I’m not comfortable being someone’s charity case,” I said tersely.  “I didn’t need rescuing from my dateless night.  I was doing just fine on my own. And quite frankly, Libby should mind her own business and stop ordering her boyfriend to offer pity dances to her friends. What is she going to do, pimp you out to every girl that doesn’t have a dance partner?”

Ben took a hand from the brick wall and placed it on his forehead and began to rub his temples.  We stood silently in the darkness for what seemed like an eternity, our breathing, and the music from the gym being the only sounds breaking the quiet. Finally, Ben spoke up. “Alex, Libby did not ask me to dance with you.  I told her I was going to dance with you.” 

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, sure, you decided all on your own to pity me. You were just dancing with the homecoming queen, and you suddenly had an epiphany that you wanted to dance with your girlfriend’s best friend. ” 

“First of all, you are my friend too. Secondly, I don’t see you as a charity case, Alex.  When I was dancing with Libby, I saw you from the dance floor, and I wanted to dance with you.  Is it so hard to believe that maybe a guy would just choose to dance with you?” 

I stared at the ground. 

“Yeah, actually it is that hard to believe,”  I said quietly.

“Why” Ben's eyes stared intensely into mine.

“I don’t know because I’m me.”

“That is one of the stupidest things you have ever said,” Ben said, rolling his eyes.

So here I am making a huge deal out of this when Ben just wanted to be polite and dance with a friend.  Not a charity case, after all.  Wow, did I ever blow things way out of proportion?  I shivered a little and wrapped my arms tighter around my body. 

“You’re probably freezing,” Ben said, noticing my trembling. “Here put this on” He took off his suit jacket and draped it over my shoulders.  I stuck my arms through the sleeves.  If I hadn’t already looked like a spoiled child throwing a temper tantrum in the dark, I certainly did now.  I was standing outside in a jacket twice my size, my arms not long enough to poke out of the sleeves. Despite feeling utterly ridiculous, I was soon consumed with Ben’s scent washing over me.  His jacket smelled just like him, and naturally, I snuggled closer into the coat, pretending it was Ben’s arms wrapped around me instead of his suit coat.

“So how about that dance?” he whispered.

With a halfhearted smile, I said, “I guess I owe you that much for being such a baby and blowing things way out of proportion.  Sorry, by the way.” 

Ben held out his hands.  I placed my left hand in his right, and he put his left hand around my waist.  I struggled to free my right hand from the jacket’s long sleeve and laid it on his shoulder. As he began to sway, I followed his lead.  The DJ was still playing his assault of slow songs.  We danced quietly in the moonlight, keeping a respectful distance between our bodies.  I wanted to move closer and eliminate the space between us, but Libby was my best friend, and this was Benjamin Flynn, and I was me.  Benjamin Flynn did not date girls like me. 

“That was an amazing throw at the end of the game, by the way,” I said, breaking the silence, “but you got walloped.  Those guys pummeled you.  Everyone was worried when you didn’t stand upright after the play was over.  Does anything still hurt?” 

Ben looked down at me “The coach thinks I may have a few bruised ribs, but other than that, I’m feeling good.” 

“So how does it feel to be the hero who brought our team to victory?” 

Ben laughed. “Well, I guess I should say it was a team effort, but since no one else is around. . .  it feels pretty damn good! I heard you have something to celebrate, too.” 

I looked at him quizzically. 

“Oh Alex, don’t be modest, your float won first place!” 

I couldn’t help but laugh loudly. “Oh yes, our float won all because of me and my impeccable sign-holding abilities!”  As I spoke, Ben spun me away from him and then twirled me back into his body.  He grabbed me around the waist again, but this time held me a little closer.  He looked down at me. “Alex, why do you do that?” 

I furrowed my brows. “Do what?”

 Ben frowned. “Act like you don’t matter.” 

I didn’t know what to say. We stopped dancing and just stared at each other; I was beginning to get lost in his eyes when we heard laughing from the front of the building coming toward us.  We jumped away from each other as if we had been doing something shameful.

“I better get back to Libby,” Ben said. 

I nodded. “Yeah, I should get home.”  I took off Ben’s suit jacket and handed it to him. “Tell Libby I said bye.” He nodded, and I stood there in the parking lot, in my blue jeans and warrior shirt, watching him as he turned and walked back into the school building. My heart breaking just a little more with each step he took back to her.