CHAPTER EIGHTEEEN | TIME TO MOVE ON
2044 Words
Wendy POV
"What do you mean you're moving out?"
"It's just what I said. This was temporary anyways and I need to stand on my own legs. I can do this. I even found a few interesting objects."
I showed him the three apartments that fitted my idea of my future home and all he did was scrunching his nose up. He didn't like that I was going to move out, but what choice did I have? I couldn't lie to myself anymore... He had found his place into my heart and had the intention to stay there, with or without my permission. I couldn't demand him to date me and only be with me. We didn't have any relationship at all, so why was he this reluctant to let me go?
"All three is far away from here and almost at the other side of the city!"
"Yeah, so what? Atleast it's an ideal place to live where I can build my own life up for both me and the babies. I can't and I won't rely on others more than I have to. I've been here for longer than I had thought anyway."
"It's no problem at all when you're here! I told you to stay for as long as you needed."
"Yes, it's a problem. The problem expose itself when I live in a place that's not mine."
"Please, we can find something closer to the company. It will be hard for you if-"
"Damien, please. I have to do this." I pleaded.
He looked desperate and destroyed, I had no idea why. This hurt me more than I thought it would. Appearently he had gotten under my skin more than I thought... I'm ashamed to have to betray the only moment in my life that was worth something. The question is whether to evaluate the right and wrong of the act or whether to evaluate the right and wrong from the consequences of the act. This felt just like at the moment when I lost all respect for adults a few years earlier. I was struck by the fact that they are nothing more than kids in big bodies, who has learned to adapt to society's norms and rules. These are the consequences of the ignorance he has given me since our moment. Had he talked to me properly about the problem and above all not brought a bimbo home, then I would probably have stayed. But now it was too late. I needed to stand with my back straight and my head high. It was time to grow some balls and grab the situation by the p***y, just like Donald Trump.
"Is there anything I can do to make you rethink your decision?" he asked in a low and sad voice.
"No. It's too late for that now. I need to do this and if you really are my friend, then you will accept it."
He nodded his head slowly and got up from the bed with a deep sigh. I had to make an effort to not run up to him and take him in my arms. On some level he cared about me and it woke up a part of me that I didn't even know still existed.
"Whatever you say, Wendy. Tell me if I can help you in any way."
With those words he left the room and some part of me wanted him to turn back. To tell me that he actually wanted me to stay, that he wanted me there and cared about me. If he did that, then I would stay. It didn't happen. Instead I called the number to the owner of the apartment I was going to rent.
*
A week had went by since my decision of moving. Damien had avoided me and stayed away most of the time. Maybe it was easier for him that way, what do I know. At least today was the time for me to move. Adrian was kind enough to drive the moving load back and forth. Damien wasn't home as usual, and Jaxon wanted to help. He said that when he called me the day before. Unfortunately, he was stuck in a meeting all morning. If there was anything left to do when he came by, he offered to help me. I had thanked him and that was it. Now I stood here surrounded by the moving boxes that would accompany me to my new home. Since I had no expenses during the time I had spent here, I had the money to buy a lot of new stuff that would fit perfectly in my new home. In addition, I had the baby gadgets in a storage room to be picked up. At the moment, however, it did not matter. Because right now the tears threatened to come. I had no idea how or why they arose at all. Maybe it was because of the void I knew would be created the moment I left Damien and his home behind me. Somehow I had got attached to living here and the idea of staying permanently had started nestling in. The truth was, it wasn't even about the apartment or his things. It was about me missing him. Damien and I would be seen at the workplace, but nothing would be like they were before. It was probably the best in any case. If I could just keep it professional, I think it would be fine. Hell, it has to be now that I will be his new VP.
I sniffed and tried to wipe my tears away while pushing clothes down in one of the boxes. A soft knock startled me and I turned around just to be met by Damien's sad eyes. My tears continued to fall and I continued to get a hold of myself. Ignoring his stare and turning back to my packing did nothing for him to leave.
"Wendy. Are you okay?" he asked with a soft and cautious tone.
"Yeah, I am. It's these damn hormones, that's all. I'll be fine." I sniffled and tried to sound sincere. I have no idea if I was trying to convince him or myself that my lie was the truth.
"You don't look so well."
"Well, neither do you."
And he really didn'. He had dark circles around his eyes and it looked like he hadn't slept for weeks. Shortly, he looked like s**t. I may be crying right now, but at least I didn't look like a troll.
I picked up the box and started to move out of the room when his arm stopped me.
"Let me. You shouldn't be carrying these boxes right now."
I didn't even fight him on this. That box wasn't heavy at all, but if this was his peace offering I was all ears. I followed him out into the living room where all the other boxes were marked up.
"Thanks." I whispered and played nervously with my hair.
The silence stretched between us and I didn't dare to look at him. I knew if I did, it would all spill out of me. Words, tears and thoughts that I wasn't going to tell him voluntary. f**k this was hard. Every step felt like a concrete lump. My heart ached and my breath was strained. The tears burned in my eyes and it didn't seem like anything I did made them disappear. My body, my heart and my brain had an inner war. My body and my heart wanted me to run to him, ask him to hold me tight to never let go. My brain was logical and rational, 'get out of here before it gets too heavy to carry'. Thank god, it was at that moment a knock could be heard from the door. I went to open up and met Adrian's sad smile. He knew about everything that had happened. I had broken down when I called him to ask if he could help me move. We knew each other well enough to let him know that something had happened. He was understanding and it made it a little easier than it was before when I carried everything within me. Now I had someone to share it with and be able to talk to. Although he was not the person I should talk to it about really, I found a little consolation in the fact that I was not completely raunchy when it came to the fact that someone cared about me.
"Hi girl." he said and hugged me close to his chest.
"Hi, Adrian." I answered and hugged him back.
"Sorry that it took time. I installed the alarm at the door like you asked me."
"Thank you, that will be very helpful."
We broke apart and Adrian looked at Damien. Probably thinking about if he could take him down with one blow. He was furious at Damien's oblivion, even that I had told him to let it go. It wasn't Damien's fault that I hadn't told him how I felt.
"Why do you need an alarm?" Damien asked in suspicion.
"Jake." me and Adrian answered at the same time.
"Your ex?"
"Yeah, he's unpredictable and I don't want any surprises."
"s**t, I didn't know that he still was searching for you."
"I don't know if he is. But since he called me, I can't know what's going on inside his f****d up mind."
I picked up a box and handed it to Adrian. He took it and walked out of the apartment. I would have helped him if I could but he wouldn't let me. Just like Damien, he was protective of me since I was pregnant and all.
"Wendy. Seriously, think about this. If he's as f****d up as you make him up to be, wouldn't it be better for you to stay here?"
"I can't, Damien. I have already signed the contracts."
"Fuck..." he mumbled and dragged a hand through his dark hair.
We didn't talk much at all, except from when Adrian was in the room and did his best to lighten the situation. He had filled the car and was going to drive it to the apartment. Which meant that I was alone with Damien for atleast half an hour. It was f*****g awkward to just stand around, waiting for him to say something.
"Just so you know, nothing happened between me and that girl."
"You don't have to explain anything to me, you're free to do as you like."
On the outside I was cold and hard, but on the inside I was dancing with happiness. I had dread of the thought of him doing anything to anyone else than me. But as I said, he is free and single. Nothing I say or do can force him to step down from doing what he wanted.
"Are you sure it didn't bother you?"
His question baffled me. Why was he suddenly so interested in my opinion in the matter?
"No, it didn't."
"Then why did you decide to move the exact same night as I came home with a girl?"
Because I think that I'm falling in love with you.
"Because it reminded me of the fact that this only was a temporary solution. Every girl you would bring home would ask you questions about who I was and I didn't want to be held responsible for the problems I caused by living here."
I was so f*****g lying. Hopefully he wouldn't know. I couldn't stand to have to answer any questions about my naive schoolgirl crush on my boss.
"You didn't cause any problems."
"Oh, really? Why did that brunette throw daggers with her eyes when she saw me then?"
"Because she didn't knew who you were."
"Exactly and I don't want to have to explain it every freaking time that happens. I don't want to be embroiled in any love triangle. You'll have to do that yourself."
"Why are you doing this? For real, like... f**k! I don't even know how to feel right now. I don't want you to go. I need you here!"
The problem was that it already was too late and I was going to tell him just that when something dripped down my legs. Damien was still rambling furiously, not looking at me. I brought the hand up to my face.
"Damien, I need you to take me to the hospital as soon as possible!"
"What are you talking abou-" he stopped mid sentence and looked at my hands in horror.
Something was wrong. They were sticky... With blood.
- Writer
