The Shadowed Path

10. Reine-2

Once we returned to my room, Sir Raleigh wasted no time in choosing the fluffiest bed pillow for himself and curled into a circle of comfy catness. He made it too easy to forget his grimalkin nature. Or did he, like I, feel like he straddled two worlds, with the influence of each fighting for his identity?

I shook my head and turned my attention to the journal. How should I start? I pondered the question, my quill-shaped ballpoint pen poised over the page. Once upon a time? No, too trite. Herein are the words and observations of Princess Reine, daughter of Maeve, granddaughter of Tatiana, queen of the Light Court of Faerie (with lots of flourishes, of course)? Too pretentious. Plus, it made me feel the weight of my heritage and responsibility, which caused the sensation of being overdressed in my little hotel room. All Fae-ed up and nowhere to go.

Ellerin's secret conversation broke into my thoughts. “Dear Fae, you have got to be finished with Kestrel. I can't take much more of this.”

“We're done.” Guilt stabbed through me at forgetting the favor he was doing for me. Luckily, I'd only just returned to my room and decided to practice what I preached with regard to record-keeping.

Instead of a fancy preamble, I wrote a date at the top right corner of the first lined page and started with, I got up way too early today, hungover from sad dreams and sour regret over the hurt I'd caused someone else. Was that why I decided to allow the humans to accompany me into Faerie at great cost to myself? Not that I couldn't afford it, but why would I want to? Am I going soft? Or have I continued to go human?

A knock on my door made me look up and close the journal, grateful that my train of thought had been interrupted. Was that why the journal had decided to come with me, that like Kestrel, I needed to figure out who—or what—I was?

No, I thought as I padded to the door. I was a princess of Faerie. Of that I had no doubt.

"Who's out there?" I asked the shard of obsidian mirror nestled into the door at eye level. It showed me that Ellerin had decided to come for a visit. His red-rimmed eyes told the tale of how he'd been trying to deal with being in John's company.

I opened the door. "To what do I owe this honor? And how much moonflower nectar did you drink?"

"Can I come in?"

I stepped back, and he stumbled by me. The subtle, sweet scents of night flowers and alcohol wafted along with him. I closed the door and followed him to the set of chairs in my room, similar to the ones in Kestrel's. He collapsed into one of them. Sir Raleigh looked up, blinked sleepily, yawned, and settled back down. Ellerin looked like he might follow suit.

"You can't sleep here." Bemused, I sat on the other chair. "You'll get a terrible crick in your neck."

He waved one hand. "I'll be all right. I only needed some sane, logical conversation."

"What do you mean? If John Graves has any faults, it's that he's overly sane and logical. He could make do with some crazy, mix it up a little." Then I shivered, remembering that Faerie had an asylum. "But not too much."

"You're not wrong. But I can't stand the man all the same. He asks too many questions, like a child."

His grumpy tone warned me not to argue, but I couldn't help it. "He's a scientist. That's what they do—ask questions. Study things. This is a completely new experience for him, so why wouldn't he?"

Ellerin squinted up at me with bleary eyes. "Those weren't the kinds of questions he asked."

"Then what were they?"

"He wanted to know about me. How often I came to the Earth realm. What I did when I was there. How often I'd come to the Atlanta area. I felt like a Fae-damned specimen."

Had I not recently had the conversation with John, Ellerin's complaints wouldn't have meant anything, but now an idea wriggled at the back of my brain. "Is this trip the first time you've seen Kestrel?"

"Yes, of course. And if you were hoping I'd get some answers out of him about her affliction, you're wrong.

"I didn't think you would. I already tried. Was this trip the first time you've seen John?"

Ellerin didn't say anything, just stared at the briar rose pattern on the rug.

"Ellerin?"

What had Aria told me she'd seen? A web tightening its threads around me and those I dared to grow close to. Although the room had been set to the preferred ambient temperature for Fae—seventy-two degrees Fahrenheit—my skin prickled with a chill.

"What are you not telling me?"

He snorted. "Many, many things, most of which you're not meant to know."

"And what of the ones I am? What are you holding back?"

"Nothing of grave importance. Trust me, I'm giving you the information you need."

"That is not acceptable." I stood. "I'm going to ask you again, and you're going to answer me. What are you holding back about John Graves? How do you know him before, and what's behind the enmity between you?"

He looked up at me and had the audacity to laugh. "You really think that's going to work."

"Don't make me do this…"

"Don't make you do what? You can't force me to tell you, Princess."

A prickly wave of frustration rose in me. First John and now Ellerin withheld information, and I'd had it. "Ah, but you're forgetting. Although I'm not in the light Fae lands, I have access to all my powers." I took a deep breath and pulled power from the living things around me. They gladly gave it, as they knew I wouldn't deplete them dangerously. Why couldn't I have that kind of trust with my companions?

I drew myself up to my full height, and the weight of an invisible crown settled on my head. My skin glowed with light blue and golden energy, and my wings appeared. I couldn't see them, but I suspected my eyes blazed green.

"As a crown princess of Faerie, I command you, Ellerin the Wanderer, to tell me the answers to the questions I asked. Tell me what your history is with John Graves."

The glow arced from me to him, surrounding him in clear, glowing strands of my signature colors. He opened his mouth again, but only to laugh. With a shrug, he snapped my influence bonds. And kept laughing.

My glow diminished, and astonishment and curiosity swallowed my anger. "Who are you that you can resist a compulsion by a royal high Fae? I outrank you."

He stood and bowed with a flourish, then straightened and replaced his hat. "As I said, there are many things you're not meant to know, at least right now. And if you can't handle that, you may as well turn back. I can show you how to get back to the Earth realm."

"Go back? Are you kidding me?"

"Not at all. As you told John, the Shadowed Path exacts its price from all. Can you handle the uncertainty?"

At least he hadn't gone into a “You can't handle the truth” speech. I swallowed the knot of anxiety that had risen in my throat. I'd faced worse, but I’d always felt in control except when dealing with my mother.

Apparently, my decision to trust Ellerin would have to be made more than once.

"I can handle it. Remember who I am."

The corners of his eyes crinkled as he almost smiled. "I can't forget. Good night, Princess."

He let himself out, and the door clicked closed and locked behind him. I looked at the tree to my right.

"What the Fae was that?"

Of course, it only shook its leaves at me.

I moved to the window and attempted to gather my thoughts. I could be angry at John, then Ellerin, for not being cooperative, stupid males, but I'd lived long enough to know not to waste my energy. Plus, emotion would cloud my judgment. That brought me to my next question—should I trust Ellerin? A part of me I couldn't tease into conscious light knew I shouldn't. He'd shown he had his own agenda. But what could I do? Take the humans and strike out on our own? If the path we traveled had been merely physical, that would have been an option, but the Shadowed Path required a guide.

A faint echo of music drew me out of my reverie. My room overlooked the hotel courtyard, and I looked down to see that a string quartet played in the night.

"Window, allow me to hear the music."

The notes floated through the glass. Brahms, I thought. I had just allowed the sound to relax me when another broke through, stealing any peace I'd found—the howl of a water wolf. I prayed it came from outside the city walls. If they swarmed, it would be a rough night indeed for any travelers. Perhaps staying with Ellerin's guidance for now would be the wisest path.

No matter how much education I'd had in Faerie or the Earth realm, I still struggled with the same questions everyone else did… Would it be safer to face the danger I knew, or the one I didn't? Could there be such thing as too much information?

And, finally, although I was on my way to getting what I wanted, would it be worth the risks I took to get there?

I looked down at the journal, which lay on the table, and for a second, the shadow of what looked like a flying gargoyle crossed the moon.

"No!" But when I picked it up and looked more closely, the image had disappeared. Had I imagined it? What was my mind trying to tell me?

That I should write in the damn journal.

I picked up my pen, skipped a few lines, and wrote, I knew from the beginning that this mission would be trouble.