Sadkey Tumhare. (For Your Sake)

eleven

Aaina.

By now I was used to the empty cold bed, the lonely sheets, and the company of my own.

The warmth that engulfed my body made if hard for me to open my eyes. Even though it had felt like only a few hours had gone by since I slept, my body still craved for more sleep.

Last night had been pleasant, it hadn't been hurtful like the first few times, infact it had felt more intimate, more cozy, comfortable even.

Somehow, I had reached a certain level of comfort with Zaydaan last night. I had been able to move and twist, I had been able to talk to him and even though yesterday was horrifying at first, it had turned into a bitter sweet memory at the very end.

The kisses, oh the kisses. I couldn't get enough of them and he made them hard to get for me.

After that one breathtaking kiss, he had kept it to minimum only giving me a forehead kiss after our intimacy last night. I needed more but he didn't give it to me.

I didn't ask for it either.

It wasn't until I turned my body towards the left side of the bed that I realised Zaydaan hadn't left. He was on his way to leave.

With his usual suit and his hair flawlessly styled, he looked every bit of a new generation foreign minister.

"You're leaving." I stated, a small yawn escaping my mouth as he looked at me.

Clearly, he was in a good mood as he gave me a small smile.

"It's twelve." He informed.

We had slept at four in the morning which meant that I had slept for more than eight hours, without even realising it.

"Oh, I didn't realise." I muttered, yawning again and leaning back..

I pushed myself against the headboard, sitting with my legs crossed. He wore his watch and then sat on the edge of the bed, wearing his shoes.

His head turned to look at me.

"I didn't want to wake you since we were up till late."

He told me. I barely nodded.

Even if I get up, there would be nothing to do. Maybe I should sleep for another few hours.

"Yeah."

"Will you be back soon?" I questioned him.

Maybe, we could spend some time together. We could talk about normal things, I could ask him what kind of food he liked, what was his favourite holiday destination, what was his favourite colour, these were such basic questions, but I didn't know the answer to a single one of them.

He thought for a minute or so before shrugging.

"I have a press conference but I might be home after that."

I nodded. At least we could have tea together or something.

"Okay,"

As he stood up from the bed, he picked up a notebook from the dressing table, he unplugged his cell phone from the charging device and then looked at me.

"Have breakfast first and then I want you to sit with Raima. We might have to attend a summit next month and I want you to prepare for it, if baba doesn't change his mind, we will have to go together."

Raima was the first lady's assistant. She was by my mother in law's side at all times. What to wear, what to say, where to go, she helped her with everything but this was confusing to me. Why did I have to prepare? And what summit?

"What kind of preparation?" I questioned out loud.

"She'll tell you." He simply said.

I understood that only Raima would be able to explain it all to me, so I didn't push him for any further details.

Instead, I bid him off as he walked towards the door.

"Have a good day."

"You too."

I was almost ready to go back to sleep when the door got knocked and I got told it was time for breakfast.

Okay then, no sleep for me.

--

An hour since breakfast and I was still being questioned and taught by Raima.

Her presence had been mildly irritating since all she did was ask questions, tell me things and click her tongue every time I said something slightly wrong.

I sighed, putting my feet up on the adjacent sofa and looking at her with half bored eyes.

"Queen Rania?"

As if I didn't know who she was already. I followed her because she was so graceful and beautiful, plus an incredible humanitarian. I was even guilty of stalking her on i********: a few times.

"Queen Rania Al Abdullah. She's the Queen consort of Jordan, she has four children, two daughters and two sons."

I replied. Was this a general knowledge class? She had told me that there was an annual world summit, most of the world leaders took part in it, the Prime Minister had to go as well but since he was busy with a few state affairs, my husband and I had to go instead.

I did not understand why I had to go. I was not in any political or government position to attend such a huge event. Besides, I usually got nervous around people.

"Okay, good. Kate Middleton?"

I groaned.

"Ugh, I know her." She gave me a look as if she was going to call my husband right away and complain that I was not cooperative.

"Fine, Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, member of the British Royal family."

"First lady of Argentina?"

"Ugh, something Julia."

"Juliana awada. Aaina, you have to know this stuff."

She seemed so disappointed as if I had broken her trust or something.

"Shouldn't mama know this stuff?" I asked back.

"She's not going to the world summit, you are, with your husband. This will be your first appearance, you're young and warm, you just need a little training, okay?" I huffed as she explained why this was so important.

"Okay, next."

"Canada?"

"Trudeau's wife."

Was it just me or the Canadian Prime Minister was kind of attractive?

"Whose name is?"

"Sophie."

She kept looking at a list which contained the names of all the countries whose leaders were attending the summit.

"Yes, good."

She flipped the page.

We were in the middle of this stupid learning session when Ahad arrived.

"Morning, Aaina." He greeted with a jolly smile on his face.

I looked at him for help.

"Help me, Ahad." I mouthed.

"Raima, why are you bothering her?" He questioned her, she bit her lip, slightly nervous.

Why was she nervous around him? She was usually so confident.

"Zaydaan sir has assigned me the duty of teaching her about this stuff." Ahad nodded in understanding.

"But I'm really tired already. I know half of this stuff." I argued.

"When do they have to go?" He enquired, Raima stood up.

"Next month."

He looked at her like she was an i***t for teaching me so early.

Exactly. I was not in school or college. If she wanted to teach me things, if she wanted for me to learn about the world leaders, a month ago was not the right time for it.

"Exactly. Now go, Aaina and I are gonna watch a movie." My face brightened upon hearing about the movie.

Raima made a face but walked away anyway.

"Ooo, which movie?" I asked him as he pulled out a plate of cake and bottle filled with orange juice.

"Good old titanic."

Titanic was probably the most loved English movie in Pakistan. And it was one of my all time favourite movie too.

"No, I'm gonna cry." I whined.

He laughed.

"Exactly."

As he switched on the film, both of us got comfortable in our seats, eyes glued to the big screen.

"Leo is so breathtakingly beautiful." I muttered.

"I know, right?"

His eyes were playful but even he knew that I was not lying. I was just about to turn the volume up when he looked at his phone and then at me.

"Wait, turn the channel."

I did as I was told, going back to the TV option.

The sight that welcomed my eyes was of my husband. He sat in all his glory, wearing his sunglasses as he sat in what seemed like a garden.

Clearly, he was busy with his press conference. Ahad focused on the news channel so I did the same.

This was the first time I was going to actually listen to him carefully, as a foreign minister. Not my husband.

"Sir, as foreign minister, do you think that relationship with the US should be based on do more and no more?"

"I think that our relationship has been unstable with the US but things are getting better now and no, I think that we have done enough. It's time for them to do more."

His tone was clear, voice firm and devoid of any emotion.

"Ziagil Sahab, aap ne zikar kiya tha ke Agle mahine Jo summit hai UK mai, wahan Prime Minister Sahab nai jayeinge. Can you explain that?"

(Mr Ziagil, you said that the Prime Minister will not be attending the summit next month, can you explain that?)

One of the people behind him said that it was job of the information minister to answer such questions but Zaydaan lifted his hand, motioning him to stop.

"Right, well, next month is actually a busy one. The Prime Minister's spokesperson can give you the complete details but right now, the plan is for me to go. It might change if it might not change, we shall see."

He answered.

The next question had blood rushing to my ears.

"Zaydaan sir, you were engaged to General Ashfaq's daughter and at the same time, there were rumours that your campaign funding is going to be done by a businessman."

I never expected that journalists could even ask such questions but I realised that they did not care about anyone's personal or professional life.

They just wanted answers.

"All of a sudden you got married to Aaina Imran, and Imran Sir is now a very close person with the PM. He's always by his side. Is this marriage political then?"

He took off his glasses, looking at the journalist with such cold yet angry eyes that even I felt a shiver.

He leaned a little forward towards the mic and spoke up.

"Her name is Aaina Zaydaan, she's my wife and I don't owe anyone, any answers about my relationship."

Aaina Zaydaan. I had not yet decided if I wanted to change my name or not but clearly he had. Somehow, it felt like my name had got a new meaning.

He was claiming me as his wife with such a proud face that I could not help but smile.

"Secondly, since you have bothered to ask me a very stupid question, I would like to tell you that not everything is about politics. I have a personal life as well."

He dismissed the man.

"And lastly, if anyone ever questions my marriage again, they will be banned from the current government's press conferences. Personal life is off limits. Am I clear?"

He could have simply not answered the question but instead he slammed the rumours which were actually true and acted like all these words were fake and absurd.

He had perfected the art of speaking with an aura that oozed honesty. Even when it was far from that. We heard a few more questions getting answered before the conference ended.

Ahad turned to look at me as I switched Titanic back on.

"Her name is Aaina Zaydaan." He mocked, making me laugh.

"Stop it." We both laughed a little and then started to eat again.

We were hardly watching the film, talking after each and every scene and not a single word of our conversation was related to the movie.

"Was my brother okay with you that day?"

He interrogated after a while. I shrugged.

"He, well, he told me that we both should be careful if we hang out because the media is ruthless."

My brother in law hummed.

"He's right. And bhai hates when they write things about him or his family members." I frowned.

Everything could be controlled. Right?

"You're the government, you can control them."

"It's democracy, not monarchy. We can't control the media."

So basically, you could buy anyone in this country, you could do corruption, you could be the flag bearer of nepotism, you could hurt people for your personal or political agendas but you could not control the media when it came to your personal life.

Crazy.

I took another bite when my cell phone vibrated in my lap.

Zaydaan.

"Get ready in five, I'm coming to pick you up."

His text read.

What? What even was this man?

"Where are we going?"

I wrote back, his response came instantly.

"Just change into decent clothes."

I stood up urgently putting the plate on the table with the loud clink. Ahad gazed at me in confusion.

"What's up?"

He questioned.

"I have to go change, Zaydaan said he's coming to pick me up." I announced, almost stumbling out of the living room and entering my bedroom without even listening to his response.

I pushed open my closet, checking each and every dress.

I, either had too fancy or too casual.

Decent. Decent. Okay.

My eyes fell upon a yellow dress with a peach dupatta and I quickly changed myself.

Five minutes.

How could I do my makeup, wear my clothes and style my hair in just five minutes?

Why did my husband put a time limit to each and everything?

"Hey."

I said as soon as I sat inside the car. Thankfully, both the brothers had engaged into a deep conversation so I actually had about fifteen to twenty minutes to get ready.

Zaydaan looked the same way he had looked in the morning.

"Salam." He replied to my greeting and I looked at him.

"So where exactly are we going?"

There were two cars behind us and a car in front of us. Another one drove a little far away from us.

Still, his security team was not satisfied. Infact, they did not even want him to drive on his own but who could ever argue with him?

"We're having lunch with a sitting minister."

He started off.

"He invited us to lunch and I couldn't say no. I've been holding back alot of people's invitations because I was busy."

My mother in law had told me the same thing. I had to attend a lot of dinners, in fact she had told me that they were only waiting for Zaydaan to get a little time off.

"Right, okay."

"His wife will be there. Don't answer any political questions. She's his wife but she's also a member of the national assembly. From the opposition."

My eyes widened. What?

"Wait, so both husband and wife are from different political parties?" I enquired. These kind of stories always made me very curious.

"Yes, which is why I don't like him, Can't even control his wife."

He grumbled. I did not like the way he talked about the wife, women were not meant to be controlled. Yet my father controlled my mother, my father in law controlled my mother in law and I was almost sure that my husband controlled me.

How f*****g pathetic.

"You can't control the ones you love." I whispered back but he heard it anyway.

"I don't believe that."

Of course he did not. After a few moments of silence, we reached the destination.

"We're here." He announced and then waited as his security team did their job.

"Don't answer any political questions, don't say more than what's required and don't panic if you say something wrong." His tone was some what calm and collected, like he was making me understand.

It was a tone that I actually liked.

"Okay."

"Rashid is a good person, his wife isn't. She might use your words against us. So be careful."

I nodded as the head of security team, Sami, knocked on the door, gesturing him to come out.

Another guard opened the door of my side.

I got out of the car and looked at the house in front of us. It almost reminded me of my grandparent's house in Karachi.

It was vintage, yet had a modern look to it. Zaydaan walked towards me, looking at me as I observed the area.

"Here, hold my hand." He engulfed his fingers with mine.

I had never felt so warm on the inside as I did in that moment. How could such a small gesture affect me so much?

As we walked up the stairs, a middle aged man, walked towards us along with a tall women.

"Rashid."

"Zaydaan."

As the men exchanged greetings, I waited for my husband to introduce me.

"Aaina, this is Rashid Abbas, he's our minister of energy."

I smiled, saying a Salam.

"Salam, bhabhi. How are you?"

"And this is Zara Abbas, his wife." The tall woman, air kissed both my cheeks, a gesture that I absolutely hated.

I always felt uncomfortable when people greeted each other like this.

"And member of national assembly, NA 234." She told me, as if that mattered to me.

"Good to meet you." I said back.

"Please, come."

She took us to a large dining hall, with sofas placed on either sides.

As we sat, Zaydaan, on my right and the other couple on the opposite end, Zara started to talk.

"I have been forcing Rashid to invite you both for lunch, I'm like what kind of a colleague are you? Ya'll sit together every single day but won't invite them for even a lunch?"

Her husband rolled his eyes playfully.

"I wanted to but Zaydaan was busy. He came back two days ago." Rashid responded.

Zara looked back at my husband, amusement dancing in her eyes.

"Oh yes, we're looking forward to having you back in the parliament." It was as if she was telling him something in an indirect tone.

Zaydaan, placed his arm on the back of the sofa, almost touching my shoulders.

"Ofcourse you are, but you know, being in the government is such a hard job, I'm not sure if you understand how that's like."

He shot back. No matter what, political rivalries existed everywhere.

Zara faked a smile, I could see that as both of us got served with a glass of juice.

"Rashid was telling me that you're going back for a US and UK tour. What's with so many foreign tours?" She questioned, Zaydaan chuckled.

"For starters, I am a foreign minister."

He informed her, tone almost tauntative.

"And I'd much rather answer this in the Parliament."

I silently listened to their indirect argument. She clearly noticed it as her eyes turned to me.

"Your wife doesn't speak much, does she?" Even though she had directed the question at my husband, she was still looking at me.

I shook my head, giving her a polite smile.

"Ah, no. I was just enjoying the banter."

I replied.

"You should see us in the parliament. The opposition really is cruel with them." She bragged in front of me.

Both Rashid and Zaydaan exchanged looks as if they were having a telepathic conversation.

I really had to start seeing these parliament sessions. I needed to be updated on this.

"We don't let them breathe, even." She rambled on and on.

In the meantime, my senses got filled with the beautiful aroma of food. It was being served on the dining table.

Zara, however couldn't care less as she talked to me. Her eyes shone like a child.

"I mean, last time they were passing this bill on some major issue, think it was lowering taxes on middle class people and we yelled so much that the speaker had to adjourn the assembly."

That caught my attention. The people who used to work at my home, well my other home, they would always complain about the fact that they had to pay alot of taxes.

And it was something that really bugged me. People who were working so hard for a living, they shouldn't have to pay so much taxes.

"That's not in the best interest of the country, don't you think?"

I somehow spurted out. It had happened in the heat of the moment, my thoughts had somewhat took hold of my words.

I gulped, looking at Zaydaan.

I expected slight anger atleast but all I saw was amusement. He was amused?

Go on. He mouthed.

"I mean, if it was a major bill, you could have voted in it's favour and helped the people." I said again.

She looked at me in shock, she hadn't expected me to oppose her words but I had.

"Yes but that's not how politics works." She argued.

I smiled at her, I didn't want to look rude or impolite. It wasn't what my mother had taught me.

"Is power greater than a nation's problems?"

I asked back, one last time. She didn't say anything, just stood up and asked us to join the dining table for dinner.

Rashid, her husband, sat on the table and glanced at my husband.

"MashaAllah, she's quite political, Zaydaan." He remarked.

Zaydaan threw me a look, properly smiling at me.

I could see that smile all day. It warmed my heart. Had my words really made him happy?

"She's my wife." He smugly responded.

My wife.

Aaina Zaydaan.

Why was his claim so impactful on me? I was his wife, I knew that. I had been his wife for a while now. But him saying that with so much pride, it made my heart beat so fast.

I realised that Zara was still in a little bit of a glum mood, since she didn't talk at all on the dinner table.

"Your house is lovely." I complimented, just to lift her spirit a little.

I didn't want her to spread rumours about me. That I was rude or ill-mannered.

"Thank you."

She replied. Not even a few seconds had passed by, that she started to talk again.

"You haven't gone on your honeymoon yet, have you?"

She questioned me. Zaydaan sighed out loud.

He wasn't even hiding his distaste.

"Aaina still has her semester going on and I'm busy with office duties."

"That's a bummer." Zara mumbled.

She didn't like him much either, I could see that.

"I remember how you had so many plans with General Ashfaq's daughter, what was her name again? Minal?"

All the politeness that I felt for this woman, vanished away as I heard her bitchy tone. Was she really talking to him about his personal life, about his apparent ex in front of me?

I never understood what some women achieved by trying to bring another woman's morale down.

My appetite died and I pushed the plate away, done with my food.

"People have a habit of lying and exaggerating. Nothing of that sort was planned." My husband replied.

The same cold exterior coming out. Zara looked at me as she saw my half eaten plate.

"Right. Please, have more." She put another dish in front of me but I declined.

"No, thank you."

"Why not? Oh, I'm so sorry. I brought up the ex. I didn't mean to offend you."

Of course, she did.

"Oh no, not at all. On the contrary, I met her at the wedding and she was lovely." I responded, giving any no space to comment further.

I did not care who he was engaged to, before me. I did not care about his past relationships. I cared about him and I cared about my marriage.

"Well that's good. You're understanding of his past relationships."

Finally, her husband had enough. He glared at her.

"Zara, why don't you ask the chef to bring dessert?"

She stood up, walking towards the kitchen and leaving the dining room.

Zaydaan stood up as well, wiping his face off with the napkin and holding my hand. 

"I'm sorry, Zaydaan. She's just political."

He tried to excuse, Zaydaan shrugged.

"It's fine but we will go now. Aaina and I have places to be."

He actually seemed angry, in fact he was squeezing my hand tighter than usual. My heart suddenly started to beat fast, I did not want to bear his anger again. I hadn't done anything to be on the receiving end if his anger anyway.

"Atleast have dessert," Rashid tried to stop us but Zaydaan clearly had enough of it.

"I'm full. I'll see you at the cabinet meeting tomorrow."

"Alright, thank you for coming, brother and you too bhabhi."

So we finally left their house and sat in the car. Since we had left earlier than usual, his security team was still busy doing their casual security checks, so we waited in the car.

"Zaydaan, did I say something wrong? Why did you just leave like that?" I questioned him, I was a little hesitant but I realised that he had been good to me the whole day.

He had no reason to be angry at me. But did he need a reason? I didn't know.

"Hey?" I put my hand on his shoulder and he looked at me, face relaxed and his anger pushed back.

"You didn't do anything wrong, you were great."

I let out a sigh of relief, nodding.

"But that woman pisses me off. I couldn't stand sitting there for even a minute."

"She's very nosy, I guess." I replied, not knowing what else to say.

He put a hand on my face, cupping my cheek.

"But you were careful and really good with your answers." His appreciation made me tingle all over.

"Especially the power thing? That shut her up." I laughed.

Was it that easy to make him happy? Just shut people up? I could do that. Couldn't I?

"Thank you."

His thumb reached out, the same thumb that had gripped my chin so hard, the same thumb that was now touching my bottom lip.

"Come here," He whispered, his hands reaching out to hold my waist as he almost pulled me on him.

I was balanced on half of his lap while half my body was settled on the middle of the two seats.

He leaned close, and I realised that he was about to kiss me. I grew nervous.

"People can see." I told him.

He shook his head.

"The windows are tainted and my men aren't curious. They'll wait."

I could feel the heat of his body warm mine, could hear the soft whisper of his breath as he exhaled. I could feel his eyes on me, as I tried to stare at him.

I couldn't stare at him for long, I didn't know why. He brought his hand up to cup my cheek. I nestled into his hand, feeling the warmth seep into my cold cheek.

And so he kissed me.

We kissed for a while, because my heart beat fast, my palms were sweaty and even my lips felt like they were swollen.

And when I got out of breath, he pulled away.

Or maybe he pulled away because his phone started to ring. He picked it up.

"Yes, Sami?"

"Let's go."

While I was panting and heaving like crazy, feeling like I had ran a mile, I looked at him and his calm posture, almost mad.

"You're breathing like I just f****d you."

This was probably the first dirty thing he had ever said to me. I didn't mind it one bit.

"I-" I tried to say something but he chuckled.

"You would like that, wouldn't you? I would."

My confusion reached its peak. Was he really joking with me? Had I made him that happy? With just my words?

The car ride fell silent after that.

"Do you have to go back to work now or?" I questioned him, just to avoid the awkward silence.

"No, I'll be home for now." He said without hesitation.

"Okay, great. Maybe we can watch a movie together and spend some time, you know?" I suggested.

I really wanted to spend some quality time with him. Normal people went for a honeymoon after marriage but we were not normal.

How would we get to know each other if we couldn't spend time with each other?

Upon my movie suggestion, he frowned.

"Like you and Ahad?"

When I did not reply to his query, he stared at me.

"My brother doesn't hide things from me. I can't say the same for you." That coldness, I felt it coming back.

"There wasn't anything to tell." I told him honestly.

He nodded, shrugging his shoulders.

"Movie sounds fine."

I was about to say something but he interrupted me and picked up a phone call.

"Just a second, hello?"

As soon as he held up the phone, his demeanor changed, the relaxation and softness from his face vanished away and it got replaced by anger.

"Yes father, yes baba."

"Are you sure? I thought he was always by your side, I thought he wouldn't do this. Guess I was wrong then," He continued.

"Okay. Don't worry, I'll fix it."

He put his phone away with a loud thud, eyes glaring at the road.

I bit my lip, wondering whether I should ask him or not.

It wouldn't hurt to ask. So I asked.

"What happened?" I enquired.

He didn't say anything. He just remained quiet.

"Zaydaan?" I took his name again.

I wanted him to share his problems with me, I wanted him to share whatever was bothering him, 

We had shared a moment today, I wanted to prolong that moment. I wanted to continue it.

Zaydaan turned to look at me, eyes so enraged that I gulped.

"Not another word from your mouth, do you understand me?"

What? What the hell?

"But what happened? We were just-"

He ignored me, picking up his phone yet again.

"Hello? Sami, change of plan. Take route to Imran House."

That caught me attention. Why were we going to my house? Why were we going there? And why were we going when he was so freaking angry?

Was it something related to me? Had I done something? But what had I even  done?

"Zaydaan, please tell me, why are you so angry? Why are we going to my house?" I pleaded.

"Quiet, Aaina." He shut me up once again.

I couldn't bear his anger, how would I be able to bear both his and my father's?

My heart felt like it would burst.

"Bu-" I tried to say something, I tried to ask him but he was done with me.

Fear was an emotion that creeped into your heart and managed to make your ownself feel like you were going to face something so dreadful, that it could end you.

"I would not hesitate in throwing you out of the damn car if you don't shut the f**k up right now."

Who was Zaydaan?

--