Shameful Things

2

Jacee

“Oh my back.” I whispered as the light from the small window blinded me. Windows? This was my apartment building, but this wasn’t my bedroom. There were small tinges of pain firing off all over my body. My arm had a curly pattern embedded in its skin. What the f**k happened last night? Then a body stirred then whimpered. Chunky? Her face was red, and her nose bloodied. Was I on top of you? Lifting up, my hands filled with her thighs. So soft. I involuntarily squeezed them and pushed my morning wood through them, staring into the crevices that seemed red and bruised. Her p***y was wet but not from excitement. The odor of dried urine and sweat opted for a higher sense of urgency. This short plump woman had been trapped under me. How drunk was I that I could not hear her screams or fill her struggle beneath me? I stumbled backwards, removing myself from her inner thighs, then checked her breathing. Barely! I pushed my arms under her soft body and lifted her. My key? I didn’t have my small shoulder bag. Since I made it in through the stairwell door, I must’ve had it on me. Elaine? I beat on the door, while balancing the woman’s body against my chest. “Oh you're finally up.” She said as she opened the door. “You knew I was out there but didn’t wake me?”

“Last time I checked we were drunk together!” She yelled back. She looked down and smirked. “I am surprised she lived.” My blood began to boil as I settled the woman on to my couch. “What do you mean!? Why didn’t you help her?” This woman was infuriating. Her long blonde hair and muscular petit frame was what drew me to her and allowed me to ignore all of her red flags. I have been in this shitty city for a year, just trying to survive and she was right there for the ups and downs. She had one big flaw, amongst many small ones, she was epicly selfish. No one else mattered that she didn’t believe had value and the lady on the couch was one of those people. “I could have killed her, then what? Would you write to me while I am in prison!!?” “Get real, Ace! No one would care!” Her words were disconcerting. There was no way I would be able to make her understand. I quickly turned away from her and took out my oxygen tank. I kept one on hand for times when I wasn’t able to catch my breath after a strenuous workout. This was the life I chose. I placed the tubed mask over her face, then used a cold towel to cool her body down.

I watched her like a hawk. While she was morbidly obese, she had the most adorable face. Her lashes were long and her curly hair was soft. Just like my hair, and the rest of the people on my father’s side of the family, but I straightened it monthly. My family would be ashamed of me if they knew I was up here denying my African heritage. It wasn’t like I did it maliciously. I just got tired of explaining why I considered myself African American when, to everyone else, I was clearly only Chinese.

“Help.” She whispered, while moving side to side. Seeing her chest rise higher before falling put me at ease, but knowing I had inadvertently kidnapped and held her against her will for so many hours was breaking my heart. This incident could cost me everything and traumatize her for a lifetime. “What if we just killed her and hid her body?”

Like a volcano, I could feel a heat so toxic growing in my chest. “Get the f**k out!!!! Get your stuff and leave!!” I stood up, and fought the urge to grab her by the shoulders and toss her out into the hallway. “I can’t believe you are being such an asshole over some fat black chick!” I gasped at her words, then watched her storm out the front door with her overnight bag. The humming of the oxygen machine soon pushed through the silence and I went back to watching her. After another thirty minutes passed, I went to the kitchen counter to get my phone. She was going to need a hospital. “It hurts!” She groaned loudly and her body shot up from the couch. “Hold on! I got you.” When I came into her line of sight, her eyes cut at me then she slowly removed her mask. “You stupid..” {Coughs}..Before she could properly scold me she started coughing fits, then her eyes widened. She grabbed her legs and began to wail. “Cramp!Cramp!” Every muscle from her hips down seized and jerked.

I ran to my bathroom and picked up some muscle relaxing cream. By the time I came back, her eyes were strained, staring at the ceiling, filling with tears. “I'm going to touch you now.” With the little energy she had, she shamelessly pulled her short shorts up further, showing me the pronounced red lines in their curve. I stared for a moment, then decided to start with her calf muscles. I put the cream in my hands, and rubbed it into her skin, squeezing at the twitching veins. As I arrived at her thighs, she opened her legs, pointing and poking at the place where it hurt the most. I repositioned myself between her knees. Her breasts were huge. Looking down on her as she hissed and moaned, while I pushed cream up to the crevices at the top of her thighs was not a bad view. Leaving her inner thigh, I pressed my fingers into the back of her thighs until I bumped the curve of her voluptuous ass. The very action made my c**k jump in my pants. With her eyes closed, she writhed, then stretched her legs out, engulfing me between them. She took deeper breaths, and then worked to sit up. When she opened her eyes again, I felt like pouring my soul out. “I’m so sorry. I may have been higher and drunker than I intended to get.” I nervously laughed. “I’m going home.” She stood up and her legs wobbled. I reached out to catch her, and her fluffy body lay over my arm. “You know if you lost some weight, you’d be really beautiful.” Why did I say that? Her head jerked back but she didn’t turn to face me. “Thanks.” was all she whispered as she pushed my arm away from her. Damn. Slowly she pushed herself towards my door and all I could do was stand there and watch like the complete i***t I am. Why add insult to injury? As I stared down at the floor, kicking myself. The loud slamming of my door behind her left me feeling dirty. On top of assaulting my neighbor, the woman that I had spent the past year with apparently didn’t like black people. If I had told her I was half black would she have stayed as long?

I threw myself back on my couch, and covered my eyes. This day was overwhelming and it wasn’t even lunch time.