Killing For Ace Hernandez ✓

10 | Feelings

“I like the sunset in Italy, gives me a nice vibe to f**k of and shower.” I chuckle shaking my head, to see Rodrigues walking towards me. I swing on the porch, watching this beautiful sunset as he said. With one head resting on chain, my feet swinging of the floor.  “How are you?” He asked.

“You know, that was the first time anyone has asked me that since I got here and I’m not fine, I’m tired, I’m stressed and I feel so alone…so lonely. I used to have a florist, I used to meet people every day and I used to have a good future of how my life would turn out and this was no where near on the route.” I double check to see if he was listening and he was, and I couldn’t help the relief in my heart when he actually sat down beside me.

“Let it all out, Arabella.”

“I had the worst pregnancy anyone could’ve wanted. After I got Rose, I promised myself that my next will be with the man I love, the who loves me and we will work together in the florist, I would be pregnant and he would make fun of me but love me, give me time and would be loyal…he would love Rose as his own,” I whisper, imagining my so-called life.

“Sometimes, life doesn’t go the way we want it.”

“It really doesn’t, I am in Italy, pregnant, with a Mafia bosses baby, and he-he is so annoying! ‘Oh, do not get that on my blazer, it is expensive.’ Or sometimes he would be like ‘I am busy Arabella, do you not see’” I mimic his voice, making sure mine was deeper. “I mean why does he never use an apostrophe? Like this man is always so formal? And he always thinks about himself, because he is a selfish and a self-absorbed man.” I burst out.

Rodrigues chortles, before looking me in my eyes. “You know Arabella, sometimes I think you think you’re the only one who has a s**t past. As much as I hate Ace, he actually-it is not my place to speak of his past but his was the worst out of all of us. He did things-things he regrets so much because he was forced. He held a gun at seven years old. He never had a childhood, he had board meeting at twelve. You know, you call him selfish and that he only thinks about him self but that is the biggest lie in the world.”

“I’m going to tell you something, I was fifteen and Ace was seventeen. I came back home late with blood all over my hands because I just shot a rival. And Daniel, my step father whom we were all scared of- in the mafia, when you shoot a rival you have to get whipped, thirty times if you don’t want war. I was scared, my father held the whip and it was thick and it had these knifes. But the moment he was about to, Ace took my place.” He coughed out; my heart downgraded to my stomach.

“He got whipped sixty times. Double what I was about to do…and the-He nearly died that night. For me. Because I was scared. And the blood, that was the-Ace isn’t selfish. So, I don’t agree with you on that. He protected me my entire life, he gave me things he never had, he gave me a role model to look up to, all he is doing now is protecting you Arabella. Your father Adrian, is after you. Jayson is after you. They are part of the Greek Mafia.”

I felt like the worst person living, this entire time, I was thinking of myself. Nothing but myself, I forgot that I was not the only person who had a s**t past. Ace did too. And I am leaving him out of my pregnancy. I always put Ace on my red list the minute I found out who he was, I never gave him a chance to explain.

“He isn’t married. Daniel forced a contract, and for the past week Ace has been finding ways to divorce it. Without a war, only so you could not be stressed. The club, he was in a room with Lawyers so he isn’t far from you, in case anything happens. He hasn’t left the house. For you. Ace isn’t one to show everyone that he is being selfless, he just does it. So, without being rude stop thinking about yourself Arabella, give people a chance, you both are people with broken past all you need to do, is put a band aid over yours.” He smiles, before standing up and making his way back into the mansion. Sugar.

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I knock onto his bedroom door, stepping away from the door. I hear his footsteps before the handle is pushed down, allowing me access to know he is behind the door. “Arabella, is everything okay?” He asks, I remove my gaze from the ground, locking it with his hazel greens. Oh, how they captured me at first, the day I camped outside his office, working area.

“Can we talk?” I whisper, rubbing my arm. He nods his head and opens the door; I step inside and look around as I see him entering another room where I know to be his wardrobe. That is when I take a deep look, and see the scars hidden behind the tattoos. I walk towards him, as he leaves the wardrobe about to slip on his shirt before I stop him.

He glances at me confused, “I’m sorry, for being selfish…Ace I am really scared that I’m going to fail this pregnancy…and I-I keep forgetting that I have someone during it, because that’s something I never had but I have you, you now.”

“Bella-”

“I know about the marriage contract, and I promise to help you…we will do this together. Me and you, we are having a child together…but for this to work, we need to talk. About everything, I know nothing about you Ace…speak to me, talk to me.”

“You want to know everything?” Nodding my head, he lends me a hand and I follow after him, my hands interlocking with his. We walk towards the back door; he pushes the door open and we make our way out into the darkness of the night.

I tighten my hold around him as we ingulf inside the forest. Upon the forest floor lie trees of yesteryear, fallen in storms long forgotten. The seasons have been harsh, stripping away the bark and outer layers, yet rendering them all the more beautiful. They have the appearance of driftwood, twisting in patterns that remind me of seaside waves; even the colour of the moss is kelp-like. They are soft, damp, yet my fingers come away dry.

I see a hammock that tie around two trees, “I used to come here, every time my father abused me in any way.” He releases my hands; I step towards the area and notice a few drawings on the trees. Marks.  I graze my fingers over the two letters. A&M.

“What is this?”

“Ace and Mark. My older brother.” He spoke.

“What happened?”

“I killed him.” I am at a loss for words because I'm not sure what to do, I stayed silent. Not moving a muscle. There is a silence to my soul; I am fall leaves under frost. I feel the chill in my blood, coldness bringing the synapses of my brain to a standstill. Part of it is a pain, yet one I can endure, one I can sleep through night after night without the anaesthesia of false hope.

I was in so much shock, I just froze for a few seconds. My head rose up and I stared deep inside his eyes, the glowing colour was my light to everything. I suck in my bottom lip and take a step closer to him, because once I looked into those capturing eyes of his. I saw guilt. Regret. Sadness and fear. Feelings he tries so hard to keep to himself.

I brush a fallen curl from his face and push it back before allowing my hands to fall onto his stubbled beard, he inhales a deep breath, his shoulder stretching. “What happened?”

“He got in the way, to save me from my own father.” I had to let him talk, I had to let him release feelings he has been holding onto for so long. “Like I told you in New York, my father is a terrible, disgusting and retched man. He had no care for the world nor his family, he cared for power. He hated my older brother because he would not be the next heir to the mafia, all he wanted was to-live a normal life.”

“But, my father strongly disagreed and forced me to become the next heir, he raised me to be a killing machine, to be fearless and emotionless. He beat me black and blue so pain would not come both physical and emotional. All I wanted was for him to stop hurting my sisters, me and Mark tried our best Arabella, so then, one day, Summer forgot to the dishes after we ate, my father is a very stereotypical man, he raised his hands on her. And she cried, every night for the past eleven years. I had to put a stop, I forced him to put all his anger onto me instead.”

“And then, one night, me and my father were arguing because he was forcing me to marry a woman I disliked very much, my ex. I never believed in love but respect, and I had so much for her, she was my best friend, but then, she cheated on me with my own f*****g father. I loved her, I really f*****g did but all she wanted was money Anastasia, money. She f****d her way to the top. Anyways, I said no to him for the first time. He pulled his gun at me and pulled the trigger-then he died.”

I closed my eyes, shaking my head as I press my forehead onto his chest. “Ace, you didn’t kill him…”

“But I did, if I had just said yes then-”

“Then? Then what Ace? You would’ve have been unhappy, forced and abused, you would’ve lived a life no one would have ever wanted. You didn’t know that Mark would do that, nor did you know your father would. Sometimes, you have to say the wrong things to understand and agree with the right.” Give me the rain in those flashing sheets of cold droplets and I'll show you how the world breathes into those ready to live. “You are the bravest person ever, to have put up with such awful things, nobody could have ever handled. I am so proud of the man you have become, even though you were an utter goose at first. Look at you know; I am proud to have you as the father of my child.”

 Show me how the rain traces sweet paths on your skin and I'll give you a way to feel more alive than any manmade high ever could. So as the clouds gather I feel my soul stir, the air electrified as it anticipates the quenching storm.

If the rain is one drop it is millions, cascading from a confident sky. It is the sort of weather that washes everything anew, bringing deep puddles into which children splash. And in that happy congregation of water and air, is the sense of being alive, that from such beautiful simplicity comes everything we love, the flora, the fauna, the very essence of nature.

The rain brings a richness to each hue, the browns deepen in a way that soothes my heart, brings a steadiness to my soul. The grass becomes glossy, reflecting the light, a new bright shine to their wands, softly waving in the breeze. This rain brings a freshness, each drop a heaven-given gift for each part of creation. I raise up my hand, tilt my face toward the sky, feeling water and sunshine together.

His hands, gently in my hair, mine upon his chest. Tucker smiles, and glances toward the sky that promises more rain to come, their sweet sound as a round of applause for love and romance. He presses his lips perfectly against my own, feeling the salty drops of rain intrude the taste of our tongues. His hands furrow itself deeply into my hair, my hands wrap itself around his neck.

There is something so heavenly about a kiss in the rain, a tender moment that just won't wait. It is that burst of love that is expressed, not caring if the water soaks through to chill the skin. It is a connection that shows the strength of the feeling, the mutual need. It is a rebellion against the elements. Nature can bring the rain but our inner sunshine comes through just the same

“I love you Arabella.” He whispers against my swollen lips.

“And I love you Hernandez.”

“I promise to always protect you, always and forever,” his wet hair touched my forehead, the drops falling down my cheeks. His hands wrap itself around my waist, he glances at my stomach for a quick second before smiling sinisterly.

“Always and forever.”

They say promises are bound to break. And we broke it.