The Normal Farmer - Completed

Chapter 24 - Harpies

By the end of the morning, Ronald was riding the Big Rat side by side with Duza at the front of the carriage. She was silent for a while, thinking. She finally spoke, without looking at him: “Thank you…”

“For what? I didn’t do anything for the last hour!”

Duza smiled and faced him. “No, I mean, thank you for showing me, Red Sonja and Conan. If you didn’t, we could have a lot of trouble on our exit from Tannery. And thanks for being so fast at throwing that enormous ball made of rock. I never saw one of those; it was a Spell?”

“No, ‘Rock Ball’ is a Trap Card. Strangely, I never used that Card as a Trap and planted it beforehand. Maybe because I never found a situation that I could predict was going to turn out dangerous.”

Duza started to count with her fingers. “You have two ‘Big Rat’, one ‘Giant Spider’, the ‘Jumping Rabbit’, the ‘Fast Bird’, the ‘Pot of Water’, ‘Red Sonja’, and ‘Conan, the Barbarian’. You also have Mana to use them. Do you have more Cards I should know about?”

“I have tonnes of them. For some, I don’t have enough Mana or Level to use properly, but I intend to get stronger.”

“Where did you find those Cards? Because you have some that are very rare and others that I never heard about!”

“I kind of told you some time ago. I saw a fight between a bunch of Mages and soldiers; they killed each other during that fight. I was hiding, and I took the Cards when it ended.”

Duza frowned. “Okay, but how can you use so many Cards? It’s very difficult to find Cards that are in sync with a person!”

“Yeah, I know; maybe it has something to do with my Farmer job or my low stats.”

Duza looked to the front again, thinking. After a moment, she replied: “You need to assign the points you got from the Mana Orbs you took before the night ends, remember? I just don’t know how you are going to do that around here. We are still one day’s ride from the next village.”

“Don’t worry, Miss Ari has a Status Sphere, and she told me that I could use it.”

“She has? Cool… But… those things are so expensive! They are indeed some wealthy Nobles, aren’t they?”

Ronald found that sentence strange. “Why do you say that? You thought they weren’t?”

“Well, they are not like most Nobles that I am used to. They aren’t excessively proud or rude. They are very friendly, and they treat you equally. Most of them never do that; they treat you as if you were lower than garbage.”

“I see… Well, I am glad they are like that; it’s easier.”

When Duza was nodding, they saw on the road ahead of them Conan arriving, mounted on the Big Rat and with both arms spread, with some animal hanging from each hand.

When he was nearer, they could see he was carrying two enormous boars while the Rat was running at high speed. When he got to Duza, he made a sudden turn and placed himself on her left side. “I have found lunch! I have been carrying this so that all the blood gets out. Lord Ronald, can you prepare this? I think such a kind of meat deserves a good fire!”

Duza lifted her hand, ordering the others to stop. She then pointed to a space alongside the road with a few trees that could provide shade. “What do you say if we stop there for lunch, Ronald?”

“Sounds good to me. Conan, bring those with you and start to cut the fur out and prepare them to be roasted. I will take care of the seasoning and start the fire afterwards.”

“Seasoning? I always ate this after being roasted in a fire, without any kind of seasoning!”

Duza smiled and guided her horse to the nearest tree. “You will like it for sure. Ronald makes the meat taste outstanding.”

While Conan was dismounting, curious about that seasoning, Taly placed the carriage under the shade of the trees.

Ronald went to the top of it and searched in the bags of supplies, and Ari got out of the carriage with Woof right after her. When Ronald returned, he placed on the floor three big pots, a piece of garlic, one bottle of white wine, and some dried bay leaves. He then went to prepare a big campfire by gathering the wood around.

When Conan called him, the boars were already prepared to be roasted, but he didn’t cut them into portions. Ronald shook his head. “Not like that; cut it into chunks that can fit in those pots over there.”

“Cut it? Such sacrilege to the God of Meat! Okay, tell me the size you want.”

“Almost like that, but half. Like this… here. Cut everything to this size. See? I can now put them into those pots for seasoning. Hurry up; they need to rest in the pots for a while to catch the flavour.”

Conan quickly cut the meat to the size that Ronald showed him and placed it in the pots. Ronald stopped him from filling it up. “Wait, not all at the same time. I need to prepare this.”

Ronald filled one pot with some wine, smashed garlic, and bay leaves. He then soaked the meat in that mixture and put it in the remaining pot. When he finished, he had two pots filled with seasoned meat. He then spewed the liquid mixture over the two piles of meat. “Like this… Okay, I need some sturdy sticks to hold this meat over the fire and some long sticks to smoke the rest of the meat. I think we won’t eat everything, so it’s best if we preserve what’s left. While we search for the sticks and start the fire, the meat will absorb that mixture. Normally, I do this overnight, but it also works like this. Oh, flies! I almost forgot…”

Ronald quickly threw his Card and summoned the Giant Spider. “Hello, little one. Do you mind preventing the flies from landing on that meat? And in the meantime, stay alert for any Monster or person who approaches, okay?”

The Spider clacked her mouth pincers and went to the pots of meat. Conan was looking at the Spider with a disgusted face. “I always hated those things. Blargh!“

Duza laughed. “Hahaha! Don’t tell me the mighty Conan, the Barbarian, is afraid of one little spider!”

Conan pointed at the Spider, and he seemed angry. “Little? Look at the size of that thing; it’s almost the size of those two boars I caught! I once had to fight against a hundred of those things; they almost killed me! If it weren’t for Sonja saving me, I wouldn’t be here!”

“By the way, shouldn’t Sonja arrive by now? Where is she? Do you think she faced some situation when she was going to Durant?”

Conan shook his head. “No, Miss Duza, I don’t think so. Any situation she could face would, for sure, be one she created herself. No, you asked her to escort the Courier, and she always does what she is asked. I think she will return briefly. We better save some meat for her, or she might try to roast us all as revenge!”

While Ovaidel, Reylom, Ini, and Duza were gathering the sticks to roast the meat, Ronald was preparing the big fire to cook all the meat they had.

As soon as they returned with some sticks, Conan pierced the meat portions with them and delivered them to Ronald. He had already started a big fire, and the smoke was starting to prepare the meat he wanted to save for later use.

When there was enough coal, he placed the meat near it to roast slowly. By then, all the flavour that was in the strange mixture had been infused into each piece. It was at that time the Rat and the Spider raised an alarm. Woof was next, barking at the road.

Duza saw, at some distance, a cloud of dust getting near them. Ari pointed at it. “Here comes my ‘Sabertooth Tiger’. Hopefully, with Red Sonja on his back!”

When the Tiger was almost near them, Red Sonja shouted at the same time that Woof barked at the sky, “Lookout! Up there!”

When they looked up, the smiles they had when they were looking at Sonja, disappeared.

Four Harpies were diving towards them, trying to catch them off guard. Ronald saw one of those for the first time. He doubted those things existed when Riattus told him about them, but there they were. Half woman and half hawk, with wings and dangerous claws, diving towards him. Or towards the meat at the fire, he wasn’t sure.

They shouted at the same time, creating a very dangerous attack, similar to the ‘Sonic Blast’ Spell Card that destroyed the cave where Ronald was summoned. But before Ini could get his bow and arrow or before Sonja got near him, Ronald threw a card into the sky. A Special Spell, one that used his Mana and Willpower, making him feel a slight headache when it appeared.

The ‘Fire s***h’ Spell created a flow of fire toward the Harpies, vaporising them during its passage and nullifying their sound attack. The only thing left was the Mana Orbs that were falling. They stopped near the ground, hovering at a few centimetres.

Ronald leisurely went to them and absorbed them all. He then returned to the fire to take care of the meat, as if nothing had happened. Ini was dumbfounded: “That… was that a ‘Fire s***h’ Special Spell Card? Did you just counter their Magical Attack and, at the same time, kill them all?”

Ronald was kneeling near the fire, placing another piece of meat closer to the coal. He looked back and answered, “I think so. Sorry, I think the smell of this meat attracted them. It’s better if we stay on guard, just in case more Monsters appear.”

Ini sat on the floor; he was feeling dizzy. He made a huge effort to focus his eyes, and he saw Duza, Reylom, and Ovaidel seated on the floor like he was, completely pale.

Sonja jumped from the Rat and hugged Ronald from the back. She whispered in his ear, “Very good, Lord Ronald! I am sorry if I didn’t arrive on time, but at least I could warn you about the danger.”

She then got up and smacked Conan’s head. “What were you doing, you worthless piece of ‘shilum’? Didn’t you see those nasty things attacking?”

Conan was protecting his head from the next blow she was preparing. “No, I was looking at you. I saw the Spider getting restless, but I thought it was because of you!”

She smacked him again. “Who said you could think? You had one job in my absence, and one job only: protect Lord Ronald! And he was almost killed! You stupid, worthless, and miserable excuse for a man! I should take your head for this if you weren’t so good at making me reach the moon at night!”

Ronald approached them and placed one hand on her shoulder, whispering in her left ear, “Calm down, Sonja. My ‘Fast Bird’ warned me, and Riattus told me what Card I could use for that situation. Even if Conan was distracted by your beauty, I was not in danger.”

She then turned around, and Ronald could see she was crying. “What the… Sonja, you…”

Before he could say anything, she hugged him. She quickly wiped her tears and whispered, “I lost too many friends during Riattus’ time. I am starting to like being around you; I don’t want to lose you too. Wait a moment, Red Sonja can’t be seen crying like a stupid maiden!”

Ronald kissed her cheek and smiled. “You are crazier than I thought, but I am starting to like you too. Don’t worry, I don’t want to die anytime soon.”

Sonja let go of him and smacked his back. She smiled and went to the fire to take a look at the mouth-watering meat.

Duza was approaching him with her face completely pale. She caressed Ronald’s cheek, and before the dumbfounded eyes of everyone, kissed him. Then she let go and punched his chest, hard. He didn’t even flinch. She frowned and punched him again. He didn’t move. She poked his forehead and said, “Do you mind at least pretending my punches hurt you? Stupid! Stop worrying me so much! That was dangerous! How come you are not shaken by what happened? Stupid!”

She turned around and went to her horse to give him some water. Ronald shouted, more surprised than angry: “Who said I was not shaken? I am still trying to not piss myself all over, to not embarrass you!”

He then mumbled, more to Riattus than to himself: “That woman is crazy… From where did those things come?”

Riattus looked around, trying to confirm. “I don’t see a forest nearby; they could be hiding in some abandoned barn somewhere. Or they were flying very high, and by chance, smelled the meat. I think they weren’t targeting you; they were after the tasty smell. But it’s strange to see harpies flying around without worrying about being targeted. In my time, there was never a Harpy flying so carefree like those were, and I was very careful about cleaning the skies of those Monsters.”

When Ronald was taking care of the meat again, Ini, Reylom, and Ovaidel were next to each other, looking at Duza and Ronald. Ini was smiling. “It seems that our leader took the initiative! When do you think it all started? Just now?”

Ovaidel shook his head. “No, I think it started in Durant, the moment he entered the Guild. She looked hypnotized when she saw him for the first time. And during the last days, she was smiling more and more towards him, while she always makes a frown when talking to us or a very serious look.”

Ini disguised a smile. “Don’t tell me that you were trying to conquer Duza… or Ronald!”

“No, of course not; I wasn’t trying to… Oh, I see, you are mocking me… No, I was getting worried about her. It’s good that she found a partner. And did you see the ease and speed with which he used that High-Level Spell Card? He is not your usual Farmer. We need to talk to him to see if he wants to try to become a Mage or not.”

Reylom looked at Duza and whispered, “Maybe this evening we should convince Duza to do the last guard shift. That way, she will go to sleep early, and we can talk to him.”

They all smiled; that was indeed a good plan.

Sometime later, Ronald called them to eat. Duza was the last one; she came while dragging her feet and was still angry. Ronald gave her one plate, and she poked one roasted potato with her fork. “Roasted boar and roasted potatoes? It looks good… munch… munch… and it tastes divine!”

Ronald opened a bottle of wine he bought from the Merchant Feebles and poured it into everyone’s cups. “Try this; this wine is superb. I bought a few bottles of these from Mister Feebles. Don’t drink too much, because it has a powerful kick.”

Sonja swallowed it in one go and asked for a second refill. Conan took a small sip to try it first, smiled, and gulped it down, asking for more. They ate, drank, and laughed, completely forgetting about the dangers they had encountered so far.