The Villainess Wants to Die!

First Motivation

Li Ran woke up and slowly sat up, it has been a week since she woke up and fainted after discovering her body had shrunk, to be precise, she became a kid. When she woke up after fainting, she went in front of a mirror and discovered that she really became that kid on the mirror from that weird place.

She stood again in front of the mirror, looking dazedly at her very unique hair, half was black and the other half is white. Her eyes twinkled as silver shone by light, she thinks she looks very weird but cute at the same time. It was not until that woman named Sonya came in and fuss over her like a mother hen that she stopped looking at the mirror. She learned many things from Sonya these past few days as she twittered away about herself. 

She is now Elvira Carmine Parall, the only daughter of the Parall household. They are not part of the nobility but they are very wealthy. They are a merchant family, though they do not have a noble title, they are well respected and famous.

It felt weird being addressed as Elvira and not Ranran, she shook her head to erase any thought about her past as Li Ran. It is not that bad to be called Elvira, she had slowly been accustomed to it as Sonya kept calling her 'Miss Elvira this.. Miss Elvira that..' For now, let's not think of anything related to Li Ran and focus on figuring out how she became Elvira.

The doctor who checked her said it would help tell stories about herself so that she could regain her memories. The doctor said she has a rare mind disease that eats memories, he said it was caused by the fall in the pond. In the modern world, he might refer to it as amnesia but in this world, it's a mind disease.

Elvira just obediently followed Sonya as she washed up and got dressed, today is the first day she will be eating at the dining hall with her mother. She met her body's mother after she was first checked by the doctor. It was a weird feeling seeing the mother of her body, since she is now Elvira, she is technically her mother.

It was a very brief encounter, her mother went inside her room, she stared at her for a few minutes, she did not dare to stare back, she is not born as Elvira, thus she feels really awkward facing Elvira's mother. After a few minutes, she heard a firm and scolding voice saying: "Don't ever go near the pond again!"

After that very short sentence, Elvira's mother went out of the room, leaving Sonya and her alone again. Sonya told her that her mother was very angry and worried, but she just does not know how to express them. It did not feel like she cared though, it felt like she was looking at a troublesome stranger and not a daughter. Well, not that she is the real daughter because she is indeed a stranger so she was not really hurt by the cold attitude of Elvira's mother.

She stopped recalling the past events as they arrived at the dining hall, Sonya ushered her in and helped her find her seat. When she was seated, the door opened again and her mother came in, strode forward to the head of the house seat, and sat.

It was a very silent breakfast, from the start to finish, no one uttered a word, only the sound of the silverware can be heard. After breakfast, she got ready to go back to her room when she heard the firm and cold voice of her mother. "You still have no recollection of the past?"

Elvira looked towards her mother and shook her head while thinking to herself, what past would I recollect? I'm not Elvira in the first place, she sighed and looked down. Elvira's mother looked at Elvira who showed a dejected look. " Do you even remember your mother's name? It is Junia Liberia Avila Parall, my maiden family is the Avila family. I have two sisters, Aureliana Octavia Avila and Evadne Cora Avila. Your father's name is Arcadius, he is the head of the Parall household, he went to the neighboring country to find a new supplier for the silk that can only be found there hence his absence despite your accident, so don't hate him."

Elvira looked back at her mother, this was the first time she heard a long string of words from her mouth, for this past week she got used to her mother being silent. Sonya had told her lots of mundane things about herself but this is the first time she heard a somewhat detailed introduction.

She only knew that her father is away due to business but she never pried.

Junia continued to look at Elvira and sighed. "I am quite busy and have no time to take care of you, Sonya would be there for anything. If there is something you need that is out of Sonya's capabilities, you can come to find me then. Do you understand?"

Elvira nodded and her round eyes blinked looking very innocent and cute. "Yes, I understand."

Junia stared at her then stood up. "If there are things you do not understand, you can ask Sonya. I will be in the study if there is anything more you need. I will be leaving for the capital in three days' time."

After speaking the words, Junia left the dining hall leaving Elvira alone. Sonya came in after a moment. "Miss Elvira, do you wish to return to your room or stroll in the garden? The flowers are in full bloom today and basking in the sun would be good for your health."

Elvira thought for a moment, she really has nothing to do, she is tired of laying on the bed after a week of being stuck on the bed. She wants to know why she was here in the first place but so far there seems to be no one who could help her figure it out. She is not interested in basking in the sun nor does she want to see the flowers in the garden.

What could she do is to organize her thoughts and find out more about this world, maybe she could leave this place and die properly. She has no plan to develop any interpersonal relationship in this place, what she needs is to wake up in this dream before she gets deeper into this bizarre world. 

Elvira tilted her head and looked at Sonya and spoke. "Do we have a library or is it where mother's study is located? I want to read books."

Sonya chuckled as she saw Elvira cutely tilt her head, hearing her ask about the library she thought that the little miss wants to see picture books. "We have plenty of children's books in the library Miss, and it is different from the study room where the master and the madam usually do their work. I will take you to the library, Master Arcadius bought lots of children books before you were born, along with many other things, he said it was all for you. He will be delighted to know that Miss Elvira likes those books."

Elvira stood up and followed Sonya, she did not correct her for thinking that she wants to see children's books. She inwardly scoffed, 'Picture books? Books for children? I am an educated adult, why would I be interested in such childish things, pfft.'

When they reached the library, Sonya showed her where all the children's books are located, Elvira asked to be left alone so she could explore the library by herself. As soon as Sonya left, Elvira walked, aisle by aisle, 'this library is really big, it looks like a national library than a family library'.

Elvira randomly picked a book to read, she paused and took another book and opened it, she put it back and took another book, she opened it and put it back again. After opening ten books in succession, she quietly went back to the children's section and took a picture book, and started looking at it very seriously. She pouted and lamented to herself 'I can't read anything.' It is not an alphabet she recognizes nor is it a language she knows from the modern world.

She begrudgingly looked at the picture books around her as if they are her enemy and she did not know whether to laugh or cry. 'I am an educated adult but here I am reading picture books! Waah! This is an insult to my university diploma! I need to learn how to read fast!'

Sonya came back and saw little Elvira very seriously looking at the picture books. When Elvira saw Sonya, she looked up with her silver eyes almost bursting with tears she said very seriously. "I want to learn how to read." Her expression tickled Sonya's heart.

Sonya who knows that in the past, Elvira disliked studying was surprised and nodded, I will teach you. Elvira pouted adorably as she looked down on the picture books again and studied them with a charmingly serious expression. Sonya looked on with a smile.

And that is how Adult Li Ran in 7 yrs old Elvira's body, developed her first motivation in the new world... her motivation to read!