13. ROMY
1780 Words
“I’m having a baby.”
Leona nearly chokes on the sip of wine she has just swallowed, and Loraine gently pats her on the back.
“What? I thought the T-shirt story was a mistake!” said Elena.
My three best friends are gathered at my house at my request. For once, there isn’t even a child with us – apart from the one growing in the schoolteacher’s belly. I could have announced my decision to them one at a time, but I felt that such a change in my life required a crisis meeting. So the four of us are sitting in my kitchen, a bottle of Verne Estate wine on the table, and an apple juice in Elena’s hands.
“I’m not pregnant yet, I’m just telling you that I’m having a baby.”
“Are you aware that the immaculate conception is a phenomenon that has never been scientifically proven?” points out Leona after a few coughs.
“I’m not going to pray to get pregnant, I’m going to use a much simpler technique: medically assisted procreation.”
They stare at me, sceptical. I know what each of them is thinking: Loraine wonders if I’m under the influence; Elena, if I’m aware of the energy involved in raising a child; and Leona simply thinks I’m crazy.
“Are you going to have a baby on your own?” Elena asked slowly as if to make sure she got it right.
“Not exactly.”
This time, I feel that they’re really lost, but I understand them: I suppose that I too would have been lost not long ago if one of them had told me the same thing.
“Can you tell us more about it?” asks Loraine.
“Well... So actually, the idea of raising a child alone crossed my mind. But I did some research and came across a very interesting site.”
“I expect the worst,” Leona muttered.
I don’t let her comment bring me down, I continue.
“There’s a site where women and men who want to have a child without committing to a romantic relationship can meet. Everyone enters the criteria that seem important to them with the co-parent, and then the site helps them to meet.
“But I don’t understand… Isn’t that what all dating apps already do?” Elena asks.
“No! Because the difference is that there’s no romantic relationship in the middle. The man and the woman agree to have a child together, which they’ll raise together, without being a couple. It’s a bit like two friends deciding to have a child together, without being a couple. It’s called co-parenting.”
There was an exchange of embarrassed glances between my friends, but I expected it.
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” Loraine asks.
Of all of us, she’s certainly the calmest and most logical.
“I have thought about it, and yes, that’s what I want. I want a family. You know I’ve wanted to have a child for a long time. And I’m sick of waiting for the perfect husband to show up on my doorstep. I have this solution available to me, so I want to grab it before it’s too late.
A new exchange of glances between my girlfriends.
“But are you ready to have a child with a man you have no feelings for? It’s strange though,” commented Elena.
“I understand that this decision concerns you; you’re all mothers with spouses you love. But in reality, parents who raise children without living together already exist.”
“Separated parents,” Elena admitted.
“Exactly.”
“But how does it work? Are both parents supposed to live under the same roof? How does it work, if one of the two meets someone…”
“These are details to be discussed and put in place before the conception. But if we agree on the terms, everything should be fine.”
A great silence ensues. I suspected that they weren’t going to jump for joy at my idea, but all the same...
“It won’t be easy,” Leona finally declared.
“I understand that in a big city it’s possible,” Elena said. “But here, in Locron, do you think there are guys out there who’d be willing to do this?”
“It’s true that the odds are lower... but I don’t want to think about that for now.”
The truth is, I’ve asked myself this question before. What if I needed to move? Would I be ready to do that? I don’t have the answer to this question yet.
“You’re going to need support,” said Loraine, “and not just from the future father.”
“Would you be willing to give me yours?”
A few seconds of silence pass before Elena speaks:
“I’m not sure I’m very excited about this idea. But we’re friends, and if you’re sure of yourself and this is what makes you happy, then I’m willing to put aside my assumptions to help you.”
“And you’ll need it,” adds Leona. “Not only because you’re going to have a child in rather special conditions. Believe me, these little things seem quite harmless but are amazing for showing you your limits. I didn’t think I would be able to have so many mixed feelings for a human being in less than a minute, and yet you know my story with Manon. You know what they say about motherhood? The years pass in a flash, but the days are endless.”
My two other friends agree.
“And that’s not all that will be complicated,” Elena said. “You’ll have to face the scrutiny of others. Being a mother is already not easy, you’re constantly judged by those around you. So, if your family structure is even a little different from what some consider the norm, you’re all the more the object of criticism. I see this all the time at school.”
“I know, but am I going to get discouraged because one or two supposedly well-meaning people don’t agree with the way I’m raising my child? I have the impression, hearing you talk for years, that whatever you do there’s always someone to criticise your family, or make a remark about you or your children.”
“It’s very true,” says Loraine. “Just look at the reactions when Cora got pregnant. Between those who found her thoughtless and those who took pity on her, she had enough to drive her mad.”
My two other friends nod in agreement. Loraine continues:
“With my only son, I’m constantly asked: When is the second? And when I say I don’t want another, people stare at me with surprised eyes. People have an opinion on everything.”
“And conversely, from the third, they began to ask me if it was wanted!” Elena exclaims. “Who asks these kinds of questions to a pregnant woman? Was it intentional or an accident? So, imagine now that I’m pregnant with the fifth, it’s borderline if someone doesn’t explain to me how to use some means of contraception. The fact that we want to have a big family, Jack and I, is an argument they can’t understand. We’re not the norm.”
“It’s certain that with my two children, a girl and a boy, I correspond to a kind of family ideal that some people have. But as you know, I had such a hard time getting them. With each miscarriage, there was always someone to say to me, “Well, still no baby? Don’t be too late, huh! I believe that more than once I have been tempted to commit murder.”
“It’s funny that people can’t help but comment on how we manage our uterus,” I remarked. “But it comforts me in the idea that whatever I do, I’ll be criticised… So I might as well make the choice that makes me happy.”
“Amen,” Leona replied, raising her glass of wine to salute my decision.
My other friends do the same and we each toast with our drinks.
“To Romy’s future baby,” says Loraine, immediately taken up by everyone.
“And what are you going to tell him?” asked Leona.
“Who?”
“The baby, when he’s older? He’s bound to ask you how you and his dad met.”
Her question is legitimate, and I even have an answer:
“I’ll tell him the truth: that his mother wanted to have a baby, but she had no lover, and it was the same for his father. And in this case, doctors agree to help people have a family. This makes a family where the dad and the mom aren’t in love, but the most important thing is that we love him. And let there be respect between us.”
“And if you meet someone?” asks Loraine.
“Well, I guess it’ll be like blended families. If in a few years, I meet a man and I have a child, he’ll have to accept that the father of this child will be part of the picture, one way or another.”
“Yes, that's for sure. But if you meet him here, in a few weeks or months?”
“Why would you think I’ll meet someone right now when I haven’t been able to for the past twenty years?”
“You never know... Chance,” she offers.
“Chance is provoked. If I don’t do anything to meet someone, believe me, it’s not likely to happen.”
Of course, even if I say loud and clear that it’ll not happen, I have already asked myself this question. I ended up concluding that I wasn’t going to worry about it and that the best solution was not to think about it too much.
Despite their reluctance at the announcement of my decision, I realised that my friends are quite enthusiastic. I guess I caught them a little off guard with my announcement. I must admit that I surprised myself with this choice. I’m glad they’re finally excited about the idea. I’m not saying that I would have changed my mind if it had been the opposite, but knowing that I have people who are dear to me to support me confirms my decision. And as they say, it won’t always be easy, so you might as well have someone to rely on. And if there are three, that’s even better!
- Writer
