I can’t.
“Take my virginity,” I demanded to my long time childhood best friend. Kyle Reyes.
“What?!” He choked on his drink, the liquid splattering down his chin and against his prominent jaw.
Fu-udge. I saw it now. What all those girls had been seeing.
Oh was it desperation to lose my virginity that I now saw my best friend as some sort of s+x model?
I mean this was Kyle; the boy who had almost chocked on his braces when I had first talked to him.
How times have changed since then.
In elementary school Kyle had been a geek;
Yes that clichéd fully glassed, mouth braced, smart dressed, hands always clutching books.
He was intelligent.
It was during high school when the cannon exploded, figuratively, as if the universe had somehow shifted into another dimension.
It was a shock for everyone.
Kyle lost the braces and specs and with that removed, his appearance seemed dramatically altered.
He hadn’t been ugly or unattractive before but without the glasses, his pale green eyes were magnified, mesmerising and pretty much making every girl swoon.
The way he used his mouth such as talking and smirking to reveal those sweet dimples of his that could make any girl fall in love with him.
His sandy brown smooth locks of hair were the first you noticed as he constantly ran his hands through it, making you want to run your hand through it.
Yes!
I fully admit it now.
He was hot.
But with his attractiveness came the popularity.
However the thing I loved about Kyle—as a best friend—was that he talked to everyone and when I say everyone I meant literally everyone.
He didn’t care who you were.
He didn’t judge you for your appearance.
The thing I loved most about him was that he actually doesn’t seem to notice that he was hot, well most of the times he tried not to let his vanity get to him, but that always failed.
He slowly became one of the ‘School Heartrob’ and he wasn’t even athletic.
But most importantly he was my best friend.
So, what am I doing, let alone thinking?
The words were uncontrollable when they left my mouth.
I was aware that I was seventeen and probably the only girl who was still a virgin.
Yes, it did get to me when those girls flaunted and gossiped about their one night stands and s+x life.
I would always be just standing there awkwardly relishing their every word.
I mean, all the guys that I’ve been with had never reached second base with me and when I had begged them to, they thought I wasn’t ready.
“Like, who the fudge are you?.
You don’t know what I want or need!” Is what I should have said to them.
Whilst Kyle had been busy enjoying his popularity, which his good looks came with, I was busy struggling to get laid.
Ugh!!! and that didn’t even sound right.
With Kyle, girls offered themselves willingly to him and well who was he to turn down good looking, hot girls?
He was after all still a hormonal teenage with needs to be addressed.
He was human after all.
Then there was me.
I was slightly awkward but while I was this, I didn’t take sh!t from anybody because I wasn’t insecure or unsure about myself.
Yes I may have crazy frizzy brown hair, courtesy of being mixed race.
And yes, I may have freakish greenish grey eyes which completely freaked some people out if I stared too hard.
But with all this I was still me and I liked me.
This awkward—sometimes antisocial but couldn’t turn down the chance party—completely outrageous but totally down to earth, me.
“You’re not serious, are you?” One of Kyle’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief.
I gave him a straight look, making sure that I added my seriousness as I spoke.
“Yes. I am.”
He burst out laughing, doubling over on my kitchen floor as he clutched his stomach.
I scowled at him. “What?”
“Oh, Keya, Keya, Keya you never cease to amaze me,” He laughed.
I scoffed.
“Wait, you are actually serious,” Kyle stood up to look down at me, his laugh completely disappearing.
“Kyle, I am, completely and utterly.” I told him.
“I’m sick of being a virgin, hell! I wanna feel that gut wrenching; heart pacing; love making all those girls always talk about.”
I stared up at him to gauge is reaction. “I want to know what an orgasm feels like.”
Kyle froze, standing stalk still as a statue.
However, his eyes said it all.
They were a pool of green emitting from his pupils and they showed a mixture of disbelief and awe.
“You’ve never had an orgasm?” He asked shocked, incredulity printed on his face.
At this, I looked away in embarrassment while I nodded.
“Keya, where the hell have you been?
Have you even m*********d before?” He crossed his arms and I couldn’t help but notice his biceps contracting and constricting in his t-shirt.
“What? Ew, no!” I whispered raspy.
I was embarrassed, but at the same time I was squirming suggestively at his manliness.
Serious how the fu-udge had I not noticed those muscles before?
“Never?” His eyebrow shot up.
“Never.” I confirmed.
“But, how?
Haven’t you been at least curious at all?” He now had a frown on his face.
Yes I am curious that’s why I want this.
I answered him in my mind.
“Dammit Keya, you’re my best friend and I’m finding out about this now?” He shook his head in utter disbelief.
“Uh… first of all, I am a girl and you’re a boy—friends or not—you don’t find each s+x running to the other and spilling their guts about these sort of things.
Second of all, stop with questions, it’s embarrassing enough and you’re making me uncomfortable,”
I told him as I moved away from our proximity to the other side of the kitchen counter.
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” He huffed.
“Still doesn’t change the fact that you just asked me to take your virginity.
I mean, I’m even surprised you still are after Max, the guy is a master when it comes to girls,”
He leaned his elbows on the counter and rubbed his temples as if the subject of my virginity was such a pain to hear.
I winced at the mention on my ex.
He was still a sore spot.
We only lasted for a month this made me feel ashamed.
Even the reason behind the break up was shameful.
Max was a football player, but even though he was still incredibly charming.
I hadn’t seen him as my first. He looked like he would have been rough on me.
But I was desperate, seriously desperate. And so by the time I had been ready to change the issue of my virginity.
He had already cheated which I did expect to be honest.
He’d told me that I deserved someone better.
I mean dude, how would you know about me deserving someone better?
That had been two months ago and since then, I was now accustomed to my relationship status as single; will according to f*******:.
But it still didn’t take the void of knowing I would forever be a virgin, since no guy wanted me.
So I was left with no other choice than to consult my only best friend.
I know, desperate much!
I shrugged at him in response and he suddenly moved closer to me, stalking me until he was standing right in front of me.
The look he gave me could easily have had every girl on his feet; his pale green eyes gleamed as his mouth twitched in a playful smirk.
Suddenly it was as if the temperature in the room has increased.
I felt my breath hitching and then coming out in harsh pants, as if I was a rundown donkey.
What is wrong with me?
Kyle stalked closer and closer until there was no such thing as personal space.
He held my eyes and I couldn’t do anything but stare and be mesmerised by that pool of green.
He leaned forward and down until his face was just mere inches from me.
I was hissing like an old kettle now.
God, this is embarrassing!
He leaned closer and I closed my eyes now.
I couldn’t take it, his eyes practically screamed at me.
I was afraid of his intense gaze; afraid that I would jump on him at any moment but at the same time I was anticipating those se+y lips of his to touch mine.
But out of nowhere, he burst out with laughter.
Quickly, I opened my eyes only find him doubling over in stitches.
He got up to straighten himself but his chuckling never ceased.
I could almost trace the gleam of tears on his eyes.
“Oh Keya, your face just there,” he chuckled.
I pursed my lips. Dammit and I thought he was going to kiss me.
“Shut up,” I quickly hid my disappointment and embarrassment.
“Oh baby,” he crooned laughing.
“You are blushing. How adorable.”
“Am not!” I put my hands on my face, to cool down my now burning face.
“Whatever you say,” he teased.
And I had to ground in my frustration.
He sighed.
“Keya, I can’t take your virginity,” his tone was serious all of a sudden, all trace of humour and teasing gone.
I pursed my lips. “Why not?”