The Last Letter

3

Chapter III

I woke up to the sound of my doorbell ringing. My room was a little dark so I instinctively looked at my wall clock. It was already a quarter to 6pm. Not only my room but the whole house is dark. I checked my phone to see 5 miscalls of my grandma.

My body still feels heavy but I managed to rush out of my house to see my grandma ringing my doorbell. Knowing her, she could bust out my gate open when I failed to get in front of her in a minute.

“Why are your lights still off? It’s already 6pm, have you cooked dinner?” She asked.

My grandma has a tendency to raise her voice but it’s perfectly normal to those who really know her. She just has a sharp, loud voice. She's such a sweetheart and just like any typical grandma who loves their grandchildren more than they love their own child.

I didn't witness how much she cares for my dad but I see how she wanted to disown my uncles because they are like stubborn teenagers. But I do remember how my grandma and my uncles cried their hearts out at my dad’s funeral.

“No ‘la, I just woke up. I cleaned the house and basement and I was so tired.” I answered her frowning. I call her ‘la’, in short for lola which is the Filipino word for grandmother. I sensed that she was a little shocked upon hearing that I cleaned the basement. Maybe because she was impressed? Or she might be thinking what the hell did I eat that I cleaned my house.

“Ohh… That’s a miracle! In that case, you should have your dinner at my house. I know you're tired as you just woke up at this time. Open your lights and lock your doors dear.” she told me.

“Mmmkay. I’ll go there.” I answered with pouty lips. Grandma waited for me by the front gate and started chatting with my neighbors who are watering their outdoor plants. This neighborhood has very nice residents. Almost all of them are nice people that’s why I get along really well with them.

I rushed back inside the house, turned on the lights in the porch and living area then locked the doors and gate like how my grandma instructed.

As we chatted, we walked together to my grandma’s house. Grandma lives nearby

They said they were originally living farther away but they moved a little closer to me so they could check on me always. They could’ve lived with me in dad’s big house

Both my grandparents are still strong despite their age of 70+ years old. They are still happily living together which I really admired witnessing as I was growing up with them, always by my side. In all my major milestones in life, my grandparents witnessed my growth more than anyone, even more than my mom herself.

Both of them have bright and outgoing personalities so I sometimes wonder where my dad inherited his serious character.

When we reached my grandparents' home, I hugged my grandpa and as usual, he's smiling again. When I said my grandma is a sweetheart, my grandpa is even sweeter and he’s far gentler than ‘la.

The sun was out and the stars were starting to show in the night sky. I helped my grandma in setting up the table. We are going to eat outside, at the table in their wide backyard.

The backyard was decorated with LED lights, it was very millennial-like and aesthetically pleasing to the eyes.

Not much happened during that dinner. They just asked me how school and my mom is.

Despite my mom remarrying another man, they still treat her as their daughter and they didn't show any hatred towards her. They are still close and we occasionally spend Christmas with mom.

When I asked my grandparents about why they are still going along well with mom, they said they know how hard it will be if she’ll raise me by herself and that they knew that August would understand whatever decision she will make. August... my dad's name.

I spent about an hour more on my grandparents’. Just chit chatting with them so they wouldn’t feel lonely and checking up if they are still healthy. As much as possible, I spend more time with them these days so that I won’t regret it when that inevitable thing happens someday.

After I got home, I sat first outside with my dogs then looked up at the sky.

I think I still have a child-like heart since I still believe my dad is a star and he watches me all the time, no matter where I am. Dad taught me these when he was still alive. That the stars in the sky are the ones we love and they guide us always, wherever we are.

Growing up without my dad is so hard as I didn't have anyone protecting me as a child, but on the positive side, I became stronger on my own. I don't want to treat my stepfather as my own dad, even if he wanted to but it's making me uncomfortable.

Things are harder when it's graduation and I don't have my parents beside me since my mom has her own family now. I'm just so thankful for my grandparents and uncles all these years as they treat me like their own and with so much care and love.

While dozing off for minutes, I suddenly remembered the blue box earlier that was in the center table in the living room.

I quickly got inside and locked the main and back doors so I won't mind them anymore later. I’m quite forgetful so at night, I lock all the doors and windows when I don’t need to go out anymore even if it’s still early.

I got my kitchen scissors and I sat on the carpet in the living room.

I first sighed deeply, it felt different before opening that box. For some reason, I felt my heart beating fast, as if something were about to happen and your instinct suddenly works. My heart beats faster as I slide my scissor on the taped part of the box. I held my chest before opening the box just to calm myself.

Upon opening, I immediately smelled old paper mixed with dust. I coughed as I inhaled some of that dust.

Inside were old, and some unopened letters.

They were so many like it would definitely count to a hundred and more. I giggled as a thought came to my mind that these might be my mom and dad's love letters back in the old days.

I looked closer at the sender's name, thinking that I will read my mom’s maiden name. But to my surprise, all the letters were from a single unfamiliar name that I had never heard before.

"Suzanne Mea Cruz ''.

My mom's maiden name is Claire Venzon so it would be impossible that this is her unless she changed her name but she would’ve told me that right? I don't know what's going on. Confusion is evident on my face right now.

I checked every other letter and everything was from the same name as earlier. Even those visibly older letters which I think are love letters.

More than half of the letters are from overseas. A long distance relationship between my dad and this 'Suzanne'? I started to arrange the letters by their date but they were too many and some of the letters, you could tell, are just made very simple, like those folded letters you write for your crush on valentine's day.

One thing I’m curious about is why my dad and even my mom kept these letters all these years.

Some were dated as far as 25 years ago. Are these that important to my dad? Do these letters hold a precious memory that my dad can’t let go? Why are some letters unopened?

There are many questions running through my mind so I opened the very first letter dated on January 1, 1996.

At first, I was just playfully reading these old fashioned letters that made me cringe so hard but I admit it was cute. To be honest, I can’t even imagine my dad writing this kind of letter.

But as I dived deeper, some of the very secrets of my dad and his first love unfolds.

An old tragic love story of my dad and this woman named “Suzanne”.

I suddenly thought about mom. It would be impossible that she wouldn’t know about these.

I didn't know reading these would affect my life and how I view my dad and the people around me whom I trust.

Betrayal of a friend, the secret of the house, an affair dated from years ago, my grandparents’ secrets, and the truth of my dad’s death.

This is the start of a journey of how I wished I didn't read these letters at all.