Chapter 8 - Those honey words aren't for you.
Kristen London West
(Elle Marcus)
POV
“What do you remember?” Blake asks
I could hear the panic in his voice. I was shocked. What was up with that? Kristen is remembering things, isn’t that a good thing? Shouldn’t he be happy the love of his life is remembering things? I don’t understand.
I look at him, he stares into my eyes, waiting for an answer.
“It wasn’t much, just a conversation I overheard when I was sneaking into my father’s study one night to grab my phone so I could contact you.” I say
He nods, I watch as his features soften and he breathes a sigh of relief.
“What conversation?” he asks
“I-I…” I stutter not sure if I could tell him. it was a family secret for a reason, I wasn’t going to destroy a family.
“What’s wrong?” he asks
“I-I am not sure if I can tell you, it’s supposed to be a family secret. I’m not even supposed to know…” I say honestly
“Kristen.” He sighs, “I won’t tell anyone, besides we’ve known each other our whole lives. You can tell me anything.” He says
“Lillian is my uncle’s daughter.” There I said it.
I watch Blake closely. He doesn’t so any reaction. Like none what so ever. So I came to the realisation that he knew.
“You knew?” I asked.
I finally realised why the movie was named life of secrets. Everyone in this thing has a secret to keep. Some would even kill for their secrets. Lillian was the worst of them. She killed her own cousin to take what she assumed was hers. From what I’ve learnt so far, Lillian must know who her father is. She must believe that she should be married to Blake and that she should be the heiress to the Summers wealth.
If Blake knew who Lillian really was, is that why he married Lillian? Did he marry her because he knew she was Kristen’s cousin?
I felt this strong wave of emotion boiling in me. Something was wrong. This wasn’t my own.
My eyes fell shut and I tried to focus on anything but the anger rising in me.
“I knew…” Blake says suddenly “I knew long before we married. When you insisted Lillian follow us to Arden, I tried to figure out her angle. I found out she was Gregory’s daughter. you knew Lillian had a crush on me, though I ignored her advances and told you about them, you continued to ignore them. You told me to forgive her because she didn’t have an easy upbringing. When you asked her to stay with us, I had Mr Martin to look into her for me. I had to find out why you insisted your handmaiden stay by your side knowing what handmaiden’s meant to married woman.” He says
I look at him confused. “What? What do they mean?” I ask
“Handmaiden’s before my father’s rule was a simple word for a mistress to the Groom.” He says
“So the person who helps me get ready in the morning is supposed to sleep with my husband?” I ask
“That was before my father’s rule. That was when parents of the groom would choose the bride. But that rule has changed under my father’s leadership. My father loves my mother dearly and found it hard to take up a mistress.” He explains.
“a******y is no longer allowed in the Country” he adds
I nod. I school his features. Mathew didn’t look like the king’s I watched on the tv and the books I’ve read. He looked like the high school bad boy type. The suit made him look like more of a bad ass.
I look at Blake for a second. Blake tolerated Lillian because she meant a lot to Kristen. He let her poison Kristen’s mind against him because he loved her.
Yet this man married the woman he said he hated, because a fake note Lillian left for him to find asking him to. He believed Kristen asked him to, but still.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked Blake
“Uhm… Yeah sure you can ask me anything Kris…” he says making his way over to the bed sitting down on the bed, by my feet.
I nod. “If something were to happen to me and I died and I left you a note saying you should marry Lillian would you?” I ask unsure
I have no idea why I even asked. I wasn’t married to this man Kristen was.
“NO!” he shouts jumping up. he starts pacing up and down, then stops and looks at me. “No way, would I marry that witch. Kris I love you, I have been in love with you since you were five and I was nine. I could never make anyone my wife other than you, no matter what your dying wish was. You are my wife, my heart and my Queen. I don’t need another woman when I have you and Hera. Besides I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.” He says with conviction.
My heart swells until the realisation hits me that his not speaking about me, he is speaking to his wife, to the woman dumb enough to believe the man who puts her above everything and everyone was a monster. If I ever come into contact with Kristen I will b***h slap her for ever hurting the man who loves her with everything in him.
I give Blake a small smile, thinking if I wasn’t in Kristen’s body right now. Kristen would have been dead from taking the pills and Blake would be tricked into sleeping with Lillian and forced to marry her. I bite the inside of my cheek thinking how Blake got the raw end of the deal. All he has ever done was love this woman when she did nothing but hurt this man.
“What’s wrong? Kristen please don’t tell me you’re thinking about harming yourself again… Do I need to call Dr Iedker?” he comes up to me holding my hand.
I feel sparks run through my body. I try to ignore the rush of heat between my legs.
I shake my head… removing his hand from my hand holding both of them up to him. “You can relax, I’m just asking you. I am having no thoughts about self-harm.” I say
He says nothing, but it tells me Kristen has tried to harm herself in the past.
He looks troubled. “You sure you’re okay?” he asks
I nod. “When can we go home, I hate that I’ve become a permanent resident here.” I say. I couldn’t be here much longer.
He sighs sitting down on the bed. He hold his head in his hands running his hands through his hands a couple of times.
“Kris there’s something I should tell you.” He says
“What’s wrong?” I ask concerned about his change
“I spoke to my mother earlier…” he says
I nod urging him to continue.
“She wants us to return to the Country… My father has fallen ill and I have to take over while his ill. I know you don’t remember our past but you never cared for them, if you don’t want to go I will understand we can have Hera visit us during her winter break.” Blake says
He looked scared, afraid of my reaction. Why? Do his parents not like Kristen?
Well maybe they do hate her. I kind of hate Kristen. She was dumb enough to get killed but Lillian, because she thought she was her best friend, and cousin. The woman thinks about nothing but herself. No wonder Lillian killed her. she hurt this man so much yet he would drop everything including going to visit his sick father if she asked him to.
“I don’t remember them Blake. So unless they don’t like me we should be fine. And if they don’t like me, we have a chance to fix that right? To show them how much I’ve changed?” I ask hopeful
He gives me a nervous smile and he says “My parents believe I have given you too much control over me. I should not say this but a lot of what has happened at home has been reported back home to my parents unfiltered.” He says
“So all the tantrums and the separate rooms is known to your parents?” I ask
Something flashes on his face but he changes his expression before I could tell what emotion it was.
He nods. “My mother is throwing a ball to welcome us. she will send me the details for now I need you to get better okay? Don’t force yourself to remember things. You’re only going to make it harder on yourself and you’ll end up right back here.” He says
I nod because I knew it was true, however he had no idea that I wasn’t forcing my own memories. I had no control over when a memory would come through, it would just pop up. it wasn’t my fault Kristen’s mind was a mess. I honestly was starting to hate Kristen. And now I'm about to fix one of her messes.