The Christmas Fountain

Chapter 1-1

Chapter 1

“MEN ARE WEASELS. AM I right or am I right?”

Mary Alice Reed winced as her cousin, Finn, lifted her Jack and Coke in a toast, and drained half the glass, seeming to take it for granted that everyone agreed. Mary Alice leaned toward their friend Presley and asked, “How much did she have to drink before you got her here?”

“It’s possible she might have downed a half a fifth of Bailey’s. She told me she was having Irish coffee. I didn’t realize she’d left the actual coffee out of her mug until she’d drunk most of it.”

Mary Alice plucked the glass from Finn’s hand.

“Heeeeeey.”

“Drink some water so we’re not scraping you off the floor in the morning.” Mary Alice shoved a full glass in Finn’s direction. “And why don’t you have some more fries to soak up some of the booze?”

Finn eyed the basket of shoestring fries with a mixture of longing and regret. “They’ll go straight to my ass.” She sucked the water down by an inch and shrugged. “What the hell? He’s not here to care about my a*s anymore, is he?”

Mary Alice exchanged a look with Presley. “This is not the night for Margot to be late. Finn’s already two-and-a-half sheets to the wind, and we haven’t even started The Three Furies.”

“Maybe we should reschedule.”

“No! We came here tonight to bash my asshole ex and tha’s what we’re gonna do.” Finn punctuated each word with a wild gesticulation of the fry.

Mary Alice wiped a splatter of ketchup off the sleeve of her jacket and nudged the water glass. “Drink some more water, sugar.”

She scanned the room. The Mudcat Tavern was packed, as it usually was on a Friday night, which meant plenty of witnesses. The Three Furies was Wishful’s favorite ritual for the woman scorned. Three shots of booze, three darts, and one unfortunate effigy were supposed to have the cleansing power to put the bastard ex behind you and move on. Mary Alice couldn’t understand the appeal of doing such a thing in public. Wishful was a small town, with little better to do than gossip. Why add fuel to the fire?

“I’m so sorry I’m late!” Margot breathed in a rush. “The event ran over and my second in command is out with the flu.” The fourth member of their quartet peeled off her winter coat and slid onto a chair, taking a good, hard look at Finn. “Someone got started without me.”

“Hail, hail, the g**g’s all here!” Finn announced cheerfully. She’d grabbed the Jack and Coke, when Mary Alice’s back was turned, and drained the glass before they could do anything about it. She slammed it down with a c***k. “Let’s get this party started.”

Finn slid off her seat and nearly continued to the floor. Presley caught her, lifting her up with the same wiry strength she used to wrestle recalcitrant dogs at her veterinary practice.

“I’m okay!”

“Are you really? Seriously, Finn, if you can’t actually walk to the bar on your own, I’m not letting you do this tonight,” Mary Alice warned.

“I’m fiiine,” she insisted, pulling away from Presley and turning too quickly, latching onto Mary Alice’s sleeve to steady herself. “You should be doing this with me.” Finn punctuated her statement with a jerk of her arm.

Mary Alice didn’t know what the statute of limitations was for completing The Three Furies after a breakup, but three months was probably long past time. Plus, the town loved Judd. He was a damned hero. Coming out in public to complain about how he didn’t want her was just going to make her look pathetic. “Thanks, but I’m good.”

Finn scowled at her. “No, you’re not. If you were good, you’d have moved on by now.”

“Just because I didn’t run out and try to replace Judd with some other guy doesn’t mean I’m not over him.”

“How are you not angry?” In her current state, Finn wouldn’t understand any woman who didn’t want to castrate the offending ex and set him on fire.

“Anger isn’t the only way to respond to things.”

“You know what your problem is?”

“I have a feeling you’re going to tell me.”

“You’re too damned nice. It’s all that time as a teacher. You’re all Little Mary Sunshine with your third graders, and it spills over into unhealthy levels of niceness everywhere else.”

“It’s only unhealthy if it involves denial.” And she was done with denial. She’d turned over a new, denial-free leaf. “Enough about me. Tonight is about you exorcising your demons.”

“Damn straight.” Finn marched toward the bar.

Mary Alice and Margot flanked her, while Presley went on ahead to have a few words with the bartender. A moment later, Adele handed over Bob the Bastard and began pouring the requisite three shots. Presley marched across the bar to the dartboard and fastened Bob to it spread-eagled, as the ritual dictated, for Finn’s skewering pleasure. The bar patrons began to cheer and then quieted down for the show.

“Here hangs Seth Turner, Asshole Ex of the First Degree,” Presley announced. “Administering his sentence is Finn Watson, the Supremely Wronged Party.”

A few women, who were probably veterans of the ritual, booed Seth and called out encouragement to Finn like, “Get the bastard!” and “You go, girl!”

Adele nudged the salt-rimmed shot of tequila toward Finn. “Go on and start forgetting, sugar.”

Finn tossed back the shot. Her breath burst out in a wheeze as soon as she managed to swallow. “Holy s**t, that’s nasty.”

Margot handed her the first dart. “List his crimes, sweetheart.”

Mary Alice was grateful she hadn’t been talked into doing this. Oh, she’d thought about it, during those first few days after the breakup, when she was really angry and hurt. And okay, a few more times as she watched how quickly—and enthusiastically—Judd had moved on. But what would she list as his crimes? Being too dedicated to protecting others? Being meant to be with someone else? Fooling himself? And if he’d been guilty of that one, so had she.

Anyway, it wasn’t in her nature to bad-mouth anybody, least of all the man she’d loved. He wasn’t a bad guy. He just…hadn’t been her guy in the end.

Finn stepped up to the line, having no such reservations about trashing Seth. Narrowing her eyes at the board, she snarled, “For lying to me, you gutless coward.” She let the dart fly. The toss went a little wide, pinning Bob through his left arm and earning a smattering of cheers and applause.

Striding back to the bar, Finn picked up the second shot. Whiskey this time. She threw it back without even blinking.

Mary Alice handed over the second dart. “Cheezits, Mary, and Joseph, woman. I’d be on the floor after all that.”

“That’s ’cause you’re a lightweight.”

Because Finn was weaving a little as she went back to the line, Mary Alice stepped back. Current circumstances aside, Finn wasn’t a heavyweight in the drinking department herself. She was going to regret this. Mary Alice just knew it.

“For being a selfish asshat.” The shot nailed Bob through one eye, to the collective cheers of the Mudcat’s other patrons.

Mary Alice felt a twinge of sympathy for Seth. She didn’t know the full story of what had happened between him and her cousin—Finn wasn’t ready to talk about the specifics yet—but she’d known and liked him all her life. This whole public spectacle just seemed mean.

Back at the bar, Presley handed Finn the final shot of Jaeger.

“Bottoms up.” Finn tossed it back and took the third dart, returning to the line and squinting at Bob. “For being able to walk away.” The words were quiet, but the throw was true. She swayed for a long moment, staring at the dart that was still quivering in Bob’s heartless chest as the crowd roared its approval.

Mary Alice’s heart twisted as she saw the narrow tracks of tears on her cousin’s face. All the fight seemed to have left Finn. She stood at the line, shoulders slumped, face pale and drawn. Yeah, Mary Alice remembered that part. She wasn’t too far past it herself. She didn’t think this was going to be the cleansing ritual Finn had hoped for. Grief took time, and dulling it didn’t speed up the process.

Time to get out of here.

Mary Alice reached out, intending to put an arm around her shoulders.

“Oh God.” Clapping a hand over her mouth, Finn made a staggering run for the bathroom. People scattered, leaving a clear path for Mary Alice to chase after. She banged her own elbow on the doorframe as she barreled through just in time to see Finn tripping over her own feet and into a stall. Her head cracked sharply against the toilet, as she hit the floor.