The Soldier Who Taught Her To Trust (#2 The Soldier Series)

Chapter Seven, What Do You Want?

Chapter Seven. What Do You Want?

Izzy watched on in silence as the instructors left the room, Kyla was sat staring into nothingness, and she did the same both had retreated to the place in their minds that offered some sort of comfort.

Izzy didn’t know how long had passed. It could have been a minute or a thousand years, but after what was in fact an hour and a half, she was called to the interview room, she stood up, her body moving like a robot to the interview room, where she would tap into the place she wanted to leave far behind, and tell the world her fears, her thoughts and show them her vulnerability.

“Izzy tell us how you felt when the news of the fact contestants had been targeted by Miguel Sanchez?” a voice asked her

“At first, I was shocked, it did not seem real, we had to question if it was just some crazy coincidence, but the more people who were killed the more I realised that I was going to be hunted. The killing was in numerical order, and given my number was 6, I soon realised I had to run, and go into hiding. That is when Cigs found me, and for months we never stayed in the same place for long, always on the move.” Izzy answered, not wanting to give to much away about where they had been or how they had got there.

“So what happened at the house where you were kidnapped?”

“We ended up there, me, Kyla, Vicky who is Tanks wife, with their two sons, the guys had gone to do some sort of recce or something, and so us girls ended up staying there it was supposed to be safe, but somehow Sanchez had found us” Izzy spoke her voice distant, trapped in the memory of that day

“It was later found out that he had friends in very high places, that is how he got the hit on us” Izzy sighed.

“Kyla could not sleep, something had woken her, and she crouched down at the window, she had seen movement, she woke me, and so we watched for a minute and realised that we were surrounded. Our first thought was to keep the boys safe, along with Vicky, they, had found a den earlier that day, so our best bet was to have them go to it, and create a distraction.” Izzy sighed, blinking back the tears that were forming in her eyes

“We woke up Vick and told the boys we were placing a game of Escape and Evade, just like on Daddy’s show, and that they needed to be very quiet. Once Vicky was at the back of the house carrying a child in each arm, Kyla and ,I we started to make loads of noise at the front, and very soon then attacked us” Izzy continued, her voice matter of fact, but her emotions started to cause her heart beat to echo in her ears, she began to feel a little faint, and reached out for the glass of water sat on the desk and took a sip to calm herself.

“We were attacked, and both of us put up a good fight, but they restrained us both, on chairs” Izzy took another breath.

“Sanchez wanted to not only kill us, but rape us, and torture us, he had one of the guards filming it, I believe it was aired, for quite some time before the feed was cut” Izzy blew out a breath

“He had pushed my chair backwards, and I had hit my head hard on the wooden floor, the pain was unbearable at times, and I knew I was bleeding from where it had crashed on the floor.”

Izzy absentmindedly reached to the back of her head where she had sustained the injury, then brought her hand back down, and took another breath to try and calm herself

“Sanchez then went to Kyla, he really wanted to make her life hell, so we began to play him off between each other, trying to bide more time” Izzy sighed

“It became really apparent that the guards he had with him, did not really like him, or respect him, he was power hungry and wanted to be some infamous bond type villain. It became quite clear, that he was going to do despicable things to us both, and neither of us would just sit back and take it, so we goaded him to fight us, telling him his men thought him weak. It was our only chance, to bide time, or get out of there, we had to fight him” Izzy looked at the camera, willing people to understand they had to fight.

“It really wasn’t hard to convince him that his men thought him an i***t given his state of mind he was easy to manipulate in that way, and so we ended up out the back. I noticed thought that the guards disappeared even before the fighting started, weather they had intel that there was a mission to help us given the connections the cartel had, I do not know, but soon there was just Sanchez and one other guard who was filming the fight left”

Izzy sighed, and took another drink, the camera focused on her face, as she bit back the tears.

“We fought, and to be honest, we were winning, suddenly we heard the wiring of the helicopter, and we knew that help was on its way. Maybe that was when we took our eye off the ball, as Kyla took a nasty kick to her stomach, at first, I thought she was winded, but when she didn’t get up, I knew it was more than that. I lashed out, but Sanchez, he could not even fight fare, he pulled out a handgun and was waving it around, rambling, about how he was the mad dog, or some s**t, he was really gone in the head, and I have no doubt he was loving the idea of killing and raping us, either before or after death, it seriously made no difference to him.” Izzy shuddered at the memory, and the fear he would have violated her even after death.

 “It was then the team arrived, I cannot tell you who was who, given they were in their all black combat equipment and balaclava’s. But I can tell you they abseiled down a rope from the green Helicopter. One went to Vicky and the boys, the other had the guard who was filming under control, one went to Kyla who was bleading and screaming in pain, and the other came to me, but Sanchez had his weapon on me, and on the soldier who was trying to help me. There were two warnings given, for him to put down his weapon, but Sanchez was determined to kill and so he aimed at Kyla on the ground and was about to pull the trigger when Soldier B took his shot and saved both of our lives. Solder B along with all of the guys here, is not a murderer, he and they, are God damn heroes. If it were not for him or the rest of the team, Kyla and I would be dead, and probably Vicky and two innocent little boys.”

Izzy wiped away a tear, with the back of her hand, staring at the wall behind the camera man, she felt her body begin to shake, and suddenly the need to have something injected into her veins began to take over, the racing of her heart beat as she craved the peaceful abyss of nothingness, calling to her enticing her, telling her that is what she needed, to drift away where she would feel nothing.

Izzy jumped up from her seat, sending it flying against a wall, she needed to get away and she stormed out of the room, heading to her bunk, she had to fight once more, a fight to stay clean.

Cigs paced along the corridor, he could not be in the room with Izzy, anymore than Kermit could be in with Kyla, but his need to stay close to her would not leave him. He knew she would be reliving her personal hell, and his stomach clenched, he needed to protect her, all he had ever wanted, those long months hiding from Sanchez, was to protect her from all of this s**t.

 But they had failed, because she had been kidnapped, a mole in the corridors of Thames house, MI5, to be precise, a spook who was on the pay role of Sanchez, a girl who had a nasty habit of snorting cocaine had turned traitor on Queen and Country and had sold them all out.

As the door opened, and it off the stone wall beside it, Cigs watched as Izzy visibly shaking all but ran from he room. He knew that Kermit would stay with Kyla this night, as she had come out, shaking and crying as well, and Kermit would never leave his fiancée to face the horrors alone. That would mean Izzy would be along in her room, and that did not sit well with Cigs.

As he followed her, he knocked on the door to her room, and gently opened it, what he saw, made him freeze. The strong girl his girl, his little fighter, was laid in the foetal position, her body shaking, her eyes glazed over, a look of brokenness on her face. The dark circles under her eyes once more.

“Get out” she all but whispered.

Cigs sat on her bed, and looked at her so broken, so afraid, and he knew she was rattling, the craving for narcotics consuming her mind.

“No, you do not need to fight this alone” Cigs said.

No matter what she said, no matter how much she fought with him, he would not move, he would take every last bit of her verbal abuse and more, she had to know, he would not leave her.

“GET OUT” Izzy screamed once more, her eyes wide, fear replaced with loathing, but Cigs for the first time understood, she was loathing herself not him.

“What do you want Izzy?” Cigs asked, sitting beside her his arms folded across his chest.

“For you to f**k off” she cried out

“What do you want Izzy?” Cigs pushed, that was not the answer, not the real answer

Izzy growled in annoyance, and tried to turn over for her back to face him

Cigs gently took hold of her, and held her to his chest

“What do you want Izzy?” he whispered now

Big sobs erupted from her, as she violently shook in his arms

“Heroin” she whimpered, between the sobs

“I know girl, but that is not going to happen, so tell me“he whispered softly in her ear.

“What do you need?” he asked softly

“To escape the pain, the memories” she whispered

“That I can do” Cigs said, then grabbing her bergen he pulled it full guessing the weight at around 25 pounds, the pulled her to her feet, and put the bergen on her back.

“Move” he whispered in her ear.

Izzy looked at him, and nodded following him out to the compound, then out the doors, and around the side, as Cigs began to shout at her to move, forcing her to walk quickly, as she clambered up the small hill, before embarking on a long hike.

After three hours of unrelenting exercise, Izzy felt her muscles burn in every part of her body, her lungs gasping for air, she could not think, she could not focus, all she needed now was oxygen.

“Move Izzy, not far to the top” Cigs shouted behind her, but even his breath was laboured, and the film of sweat all over his face showed he was feeling the burn just as much as she was.

Izzy continued, pushing herself beyond the physical capabilities, and into the mental strength needed to finish this climb. She dug deep, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other, determination filling her, all thoughts of drugs gone from her mind, but she felt emotion, as it built up, causing her already struggling breaths to become even more laboured as she fought the lump in her throat.

“Come on girl, you can do this” Cigs panted beside her.

Izzy moved, slowly,  the last bit of the hill agonising, as she pushed and pushed, till finally she reached the top.

As she stepped on the highest point she broke down, tears streamed down her face.

“What do you want Izzy?” Cigs asked once more

“To be free” she whispered

Cigs smiled and nodded

“We can do that, what do you need?” Cigs asked again

“Help” Izzy cried admitting she could not do this alone for the first time that she could ever remember outside of the Meetings she attended.

“That I can give, Izzy, listen to me, I know you are, and EX addict, I accept that, there will be times you will fight this and the world around you, but Girl, know this. I am not going anywhere, other than to stand along side you and fight with you. And I do not give a rat’s ass how much you push me away, scream or shout, I am going to be here, right by your side as a friend, or anything else you will need me to be, helping you fight your addiction, and teaching you how to trust me, and most of all to trust yourself”

Izzy’s sobs echoed around the mountain tops, as she collapsed into Cigs arms.

“I do not care, Izzy, day or night, here or at home, if you begin to rattle like that, you reach out to me, and I will be there for you, asking me for help is not weakness it is strength, and you girl are the f*****g strongest of them all”

Izzy let go of all the pent up anger, the fact that when she was in her dark place, she felt weak a useless a failure, she sobbed it all out into Cig’s chest as he held her, his chin resting on her head, telling her he would fight with her. Could she trust him? She still did not know, but knowing he said he would fight with her, was akin to a sledgehammer slamming into the walls around her heart, breaking them down, one brick at a time, and she was not able to build them back up, any more than she could stop herself feeling the pull towards him. This man was either going to be her salvation or her demise, but what ever it was, she had nothing left with in her to build up the walls of protection around her heart.