Their Blu Dilemma (Book 2)

4 Being abandoned.

Blu

“Get the hell out of my house, and never come back.”

 I stand there frozen not sure what to do next, and watch Xavier walk out of the room in a fit of rage. The sense of freedom I thought I would feel if he ever let me go doesn’t wash over me. All I feel is abandoned by another person who was supposed to be in my corner.

I close my eyes confused by my feelings. Xavier was never in my corner. He was the man who wanted to take my choice away…like my father. And now that he doesn’t want me too…

I shake my head as my heart breaks in two.

Did I have to lose everything today? I ask myself placing my hand to my chest. My heart feels like it’s been in a meat grinder.

Fuck…I sniff as my eyes fill up with tears. They fall to my cheeks unchecked.

You need to move Blu, I tell myself as I stare at the door that Xavier had disappeared through. He won’t be happy finding me in his house after he threw me out.

“Get the hell out of my house, and never come back.”

His words really hurt. I never imagined that Xavier Maake would ever reject me. For a woman who has run away from him for years, that was a weird thought to have.

I wipe my eyes, knowing very well that I am weird. Luna calls me crazy. And maybe I am crazy.

I need to get home, I think as I force my legs to move.

I walk to the door, and then I remember that I don’t have any means to get home. I don’t have any money, since I was attacked at my flat and the police took me to the hospital, from the hospital to Luna’s house.

God…could this day get any worse?

As if on cue my head starts to throb with a blinding pain that has me stumbling on my feet. I reach out for the door frame and steady myself. I hold on to the door frame until I feel a bit better.

How am I going to get home? I ask myself when Xavier comes down the stairs. He comes to a stop in front of me.

He stares at me for the longest moment that I feel uncomfortable standing there in front of him. My hand shakes on the door frame. And my body buzzes with something, making me feel weak at the knees. Xavier is a force…a storm I can’t seem to be able to stand. Standing in front of him always makes me feel two things – invisible or hyperaware of my body and his and the distance between us.

At this very moment it is the latter.

I bit my bottom lip reigning in my reaction.

“I have a question,” he says his eyes roaming over my face as if he is memorizing every part of me. I nod and wait for him to say something. “I just realized that I can’t just release you from our marriage contract. There are binding clauses that are set in place. I paid your father a large sum of money in the hopes that I will get something out of it. Since I’m not going to get any returns from the agreement. How do you suggest I recoup my investment?”

I stare at him. Rage rises within me, making me feel hot. Of course, everything is about money. Does he think he can buy love?

  I push away from the door frame and face him.

“What the f**k do you want?” I ask him.

Does he want me to give myself to him? Does he want me to pay him with s*x?

He doesn’t answer me as if he wants me to come to my own conclusions.

“Do you want s*x?” I ask. Heat climbs up my spine at the thought of Xavier saying yes, and dragging me up to his room.

Fuck…I can’t want to have s*x with this greedy, forceful, domineering man.

I clench my jaw as my p***y clenches from a pinch of desire that zaps through me.

Fuck…my traitorous body.

I hate it that when it comes to him, I am weak.

“No,” he says his eyes burning into mine. “I want more than you’re willing to give me. This is business. I was going to hire an assistant. But since you owe me. You might as well work it off.”

“You want me to come and work for you?” I ask shocked.

“Yes. Starting tomorrow,” Xavier says turning to leave.

“Xavier?” I call him before he could disappear in his big ass house. He comes to a stop and then turns to look at me.

“This is none negotiable,” he says his voice going deep and hard. A shiver runs through me at the sound of his voice.

God…I need to get a grip. Or get laid while I’m at it – there is no way I want him. I must be horny or something.

“No. That’s not it…” I say biting my bottom lip, too proud to ask. s**t…I hate this. I’ve never been in this position before. I’ve never been in a situation where I don’t have money, or any means to get around anyway I want. My father is rich, and he took care of us. He paid for everything – he paid for my flat, my travelling costs, my car, and he gave me an allowance.

And now that he has disowned me…I wonder…no he wouldn’t. He knows I don’t have any other means to make money.

He is my father. He wouldn’t go that far.

I just need to get home.

Xavier stares at me expectantly.

“Uhm…could you please call me an uber. I don’t have my phone or any money on me,” I say and cringe with every word that comes out of my mouth. I don’t like relying on anyone.

“My driver will take you home,” Xavier says walking away from me. He doesn’t even spare a glance at me. His coldness seeps into my bones, making me feel so small, and unwanted.

I turn to the front door, and open it to stand outside.

I’ll wait for his driver out there, I decide, since it was clear he was done with me.

He was done with me as his wife…but now he wanted me as his employee. I wonder what it will all mean, working for him…

Working for Xavier Maake, I can’t even imagine it. I shake my head, because this won’t be a normal job. I’m going to be paying a debt…

For how long? I ask myself. I should have asked him.

Well, I doesn’t matter as long as I don’t have to marry him. Now, maybe Vic and I could pick up where we left off.

That’s if he’ll forgive me.

I hang my head as I remember that look in his eyes in Luna’s house. He had looked like someone ripped his very heart out.

My eyes fill up with tears again…God…I messed everything up. I wipe at my eyes vowing to fix it.

I needed to fix it.

A few minutes later a car comes to a stop in front of the house. I get in and give him my address. We drive off, heading to my flat in Johannesburg.

I can’t wait to get into my own bed, and sleep like the dead. Damn, it’s been a long day. An hour and a half later, the driver drops me off in front of my flat.

It is early morning, and the chill in the air feels cold on my skin. I rub my arms as I walk to the door to let myself in. Since I left my keys at the flat. I walk to the manager of the building’s flat so he can come and open for me with his spare key.

I gingerly knock on his door since it is really late. I wait for about ten minutes before I knock again.

Damn…this is really bad. He is going to curse my ass out for doing this to him.

“Who the f**k is that waking me at this ungodly hour?” I can hear him shout and stomp down to the door. I grit my teeth as the door is wrenched open. “Oh…it’s you.”

I nod as words get stuck in my throat at the sudden change of his mood.

“Uhhh…sorry. But I need your help. I forgot to take my key when the police took me to the hospital. Could you please let me in?” I ask.

“Oh…that…I can’t let you in. Your father he left instructions that I should pack your things and lock the flat. You’re not allowed to get in there. He threw you out.”

I stare at him not sure I heard him right.

“What?” I ask shocked. That can’t be right….

“Your stuff is in the basement. I’ll get for you…” he says turning back to his own flat, mumbling away about it being late.

He comes back a few minutes later with keys on a metal ring. I follow him to the basement. He unlocks the door and I come to a stop as I see my suitcase and other stuff on the dusty basement floor.

He packed everything. I am official kicked out of my own home.

Oh God….

What am I going to do?

Clearly my father meant it. He disowned me in every sense of the word.

Where am I going to go?