Fire In My Heart

Olivia's Stay

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Olivia

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For Olivia, life was one tiny success at a time. 

Even then in that hospital where everyone else seemed bleak, where the cost of getting better outweighed the possibility of ever breaking even, Olivia held on. She believed in purpose and finding her calling, just as her parents did. Well, before the accident. 

She’s only been briefed by hushed voices, ones that couldn’t possibly know what they were saying. Her family was alive. They had to be. 

The hospital wasn’t the end, even though it felt like it at times. 

The nurses were good to her, oftentimes seeking refuge where she stayed. There she learned more about compassion for others and when just to listen. Not that she had a choice with her status before, but it did help her manage the times she did respond, wiggling her toes, the left for no, the right for yes until her healing began accelerating. 

Those who came in sounded flustered. Some cried while others apologized for their cursing, informing her that they knew it was unprofessional, and that’s how their conversations would start. Rather, their outpouring of their days would. 

It wasn’t all one sided though. She did have her say and they learned how to see her and respond better with other patients for it. They gave Olivia special treatment downstairs in the burn ward and when she moved upstairs she was put directly on the other side of the nurses’ station which meant if she needed anything at all, someone would be there immediately. If, of course, they weren’t short staffed or helping other patients. 

Olivia, however, had her constant drip of morphine given at intervals that cooled her system the moment it was released only to heat back up again thanks to her burns. Those three seconds of relief were blissful making her dream about snow or when she’d be able to handle her own fluids without her IV. She swore she’d always have a drink close by, definitely with ice. The colder the better. 

No more of these feelings of living on the sun…

Her concentration halted at the sound of footsteps. People came into her room, she knew by the way the door opened and shut quietly. Olivia wondered if it was a new nurse, one she hasn’t had before and that was why she didn’t say hello right away. 

Each one of them had a bubbly way to greet her, except Nurse Tara. She always had some sort of gossip or an article she had to read outloud to her as she came in. She made the time spent with her seem like she was on some broadcast or television show. The room seemed to come alive, despite the sterile set up. Tara would have Olivia imagining a whole set, complete with a select audience that was screened for bias to deliberate more of her choice topic and respond as they alway have, with gasps and boos. It made her want to grin widely, even though she was expected not to for healing purposes. 

This, however, wasn’t Nurse Tara and surely not her regular nurses… So, who was it?

Olivia practiced her breathing now, as quietly as she could, trying to strain her ears to pick up on little nuances such as how the intruder’s feet moved on the floor. The first she noticed was a quick step that seemed short in distance from the next, followed by a metallic grind which could be anything from a squeaky wheel on a cart to one from a wheelchair. The vital carts that came in with blood pressure cuffs and thermometers, she knew, were plastic and had a rolling sound that mimicked the use of pet toys moving over the linoleum floor. It was to keep cost down and some of the older caretakers used to hiss at the metal ones for rusting which pushed the motive that plastic was just better. 

As she puzzled it out, she heard another set of feet, clumpy and heavy, sort of sliding as they went which made her heart race, was it a nurse delivering one of her family members back to her? Would she see her Mom or Dad if she pushed herself to open her eyes?

It wasn’t that she couldn’t or that she was even bandaged there anymore, but it did take effort to do so and the action made her tired. It said a lot for the way that her body was healing. While slowly, it was a delicate race, one she didn’t want to ruin by straining herself. 

Olivia couldn’t help the way she felt about being seen now. She didn’t want whoever it was to be upset for her or blame themselves for what happened. It affected all of them after all. 

But when she opened her eyes, she couldn’t help the emotion that raced through her body, filling in her head and begging to be released as tears from an endless ocean. She put her heart into wanting to see her mother or father but instead a little old woman and the tallest teenager she had ever seen leaned carefully against the wall, trying to assess if they should see if she was awake or if they should pick out an item and leave it with her. 

The woman’s voice was soft and soothing but her feeling still remained. It was thoughtful, what they were doing, but she couldn’t see past the hurt of letting herself down like that. 

Her finger barely reached out to touch her remote, hitting the large red call button for support, startling the two before her. 

“What’s the matter, honey?” came a familiar voice. Nurse Kylie’s to be exact. 

Olivia’s little whimpers were picked up on immediately, and in came her nurse. 

Nurse Kylie was tall with short blonde hair and every so often, she would let Olivia pick a new color to try before dying it completely. Her complexion was dark, rich and lovely, just like her eyes. When Nurse Kylie would look at Olivia, she just knew that she would be there for anything that the girl would ask. Olivia never used her, or sent her on wild errands, but today, with the way her heart leapt out of her chest, hoping she would see her parents, Olivia had to know. 

“Where are they?”

“Where is who, honey?” 

“My parents?” she whined, so unlike herself. 

Nurse Kylie looked around the room at the two intruders and apologized. 

“Honey, they’re not here,” she said, shaking her head. 

“I know,” Olivia heaved through her reply as if she just ran a marathon. “I know, but I thought…”

“Olivia, slow down. You’re going to put yourself into cardiac arrest if you don’t slow down.”

Those words meant nothing. It wasn’t that they didn’t, not really, but in the moment she could only search for what she couldn’t find, and that was her family.