Room For Rent

Chapter Five

My father kept stealing glances at me as we drive back to his house. I know that he is aching to talk about the house, but neither of us has said anything. 

I told Connor that I would be ready to move in tomorrow. I know that my dad feels that I am rushing this move. I am a bit surprised myself, but I am desperate to feel like there is solid ground under my feet once again.  I know that will never happen as long as I am living with my parents. Even though I know that it was necessary, it feels like I have taken a giant step backward. Before I had discovered Eric and Emily, I truly thought that I had everything together. Walking in on them together did more than end two relationships; it made me begin to question everything and everyone. 

While a large part of me knows that moving into a new place will not change anything, I feel that this is exactly what I need to begin healing. I am also desperate to walk into work on Monday in a much better place. Otherwise… well, otherwise, the ground under my feet will get even shakier.

“The house is very...um... quaint,” my dad says, shattering the silence and pulling me out of my thoughts.  

“You don’t think that I should move,” it wasn’t a question. Doubt was written all over my dad’s face. 

“It is not that. Natalie, you are a grown woman. Beyond that, you have always been too independent for your own good. I understand the drive to move, and while a part of me wishes that you could live with your mom and me forever, I know why you want to move out. I am worried that you are jumping too quickly. You don’t know this guy.” My dad pulled into a cafe that was next to his house as he spoke. I smiled when I saw where we were. My dad returned the smile and got out of the car. 

It was a tradition for my father and me to go to a cafe when we needed to talk. He was always telling me that everything made more sense over coffee and good food.  I could not argue with that. It was honestly a miracle that I was not the size of a whale with the way that both of my parents tended to ply me with food anytime anything went wrong in my life. 

The cafe was small and usually pretty empty with only a few other patrons at any given time. When my parents moved to their house this place became a fast favorite for my dad and me. With only about 15 tables in total, there was a very personal feel to the whole place. 

We grabbed seats near a large window overlooking the street and with a clear view of the mountains in the distance. Since we did not need to look at menus, we both immediately placed our orders for coffee and sandwiches. 

Letting the comforting feel of the surrounding atmosphere soothe me, I decided it was best to pick up the thread of our conversation from the car. 

“I know that you and mom worry about me. That is your job as parents, but I have to get my own place again. Living with you and mom again is making it difficult to move forward.” My dad stiffened at my words and shifted awkwardly in his seat. “I don’t mean that in a bad way. I just mean, well, it all just feels like a blaring failure. I thought that my life was heading in a certain direction. In the blink of an eye, that felt like it all went off the rails.”

As I said the last part, I kept my eyes focused on the mountains in the distance. It was easier to keep the building tears at bay if I didn’t look directly at my dad. Lately, I always felt like I was one moment away from tears, and I was so tired of crying. So tired of feeling like I was just one big open wound.

My dad reached across the table and gently patted the hand that was lying flat against the table. The gentleness of the motion sprang a few tears lose. I let out a slow breath and looked at my dad. His expression held nothing but concern and love. I hadn’t really talked to him about Eric and Emily beyond explaining what happened on that first day. 

“I am worried about you, but I know that you are resilient. You will pull through this and be better for it. But do you really have to move into this house? With some guy you don’t really know? Don’t get me wrong; the house is a good pick. I just don’t know about this, Connor. He seemed a bit over-eager to have you move in.”

I could not deny that Connor hadn’t provided any information about himself, despite implying that he would. There was also the matter of that female who had spoken and then disappeared. I know that I probably should have done a bit more digging on him before I made any agreements; that would have been the sensible thing to do. I don’t know if it was just my eagerness to get my life back on track or something else that had me jumping without obsessing over it for days. It could also be the threat of losing my job that made me so desperate to find a place to live and start getting my life back on track. 

There was also a rightness, for lack of a better word, that filled me the moment I entered the house. It felt like I belonged there. Like it was meant for me. I wasn’t a believer in fate, but I could not deny that something was calling to me there. 

“He did seem eager, but-” I was cut off by our food and coffee being delivered. I was honestly grateful to have another moment to get my thoughts together. I had no clue how to explain to my logical father, that I had a feeling it was the right move for me. 

We let the silence hang for a moment while we began eating. Their food was always delicious, and I allowed myself to become distracted by the food and the cafe. I could feel my dad watching me, but he also seemed content to let the conversation pause while I gathered my thoughts. 

“The backyard will be a nice place for you to read in. There were some nice trees that seemed perfect for your weird reading habits.” My dad said with a teasing smile. I have always loved to read nestled up against large trees. When I was younger, I would sometimes climb the trees to read, but I haven’t managed that in years. My dad always teased me for the habit.

I smiled. I hadn’t looked too closely at the backyard, but I had seen one large oak tree that had a perfect reading nook. 

“The house seems like something I would have bought for myself. Everything about it just speaks to me. I know that sounds weird, but I can see myself very happy there,” looking at my father, I can see that he knows exactly what I mean. 

“So you are really doing this?”

“I really am.” 

“Well, then there is nothing to do other than to support you,” We share a smile at this. I can tell that he still has his doubts and wants nothing more than to lock me in my room until I see things his way, but he has relented, for now. 

****

I spent the rest of Saturday getting new furniture and supplies to replace all of the things I had left in my old apartment. Since I had been living in an apartment that was cheap compared to the money that I made with Meyer and Meyer, I had saved a decent amount of money. I still bought most of my things from thrift stores and only splurged on a new bed and mattress. 

I was also glad that Connor had a fully stocked kitchen that he told me he rarely used, so I was welcome to whatever I needed as long as I helped with the cleaning. 

I had never fully moved out of the boxes that I had brought with me to my parents, so packing was simple. 

It wasn’t until I was going to bed that everything caught up to me. Today had been such a whirlwind that I hardly had any time to even think about either Eric or Emily at all. It had been such a relief, but not that things were quiet; I was left with nothing but my thoughts. 

I had called the landlord of my previous apartment to tell him that I was officially moving out, and he told me that someone else would be signing on to my lease. I had notified him when everything happened that I had moved out my things and would be looking for a new place, wanting to ensure that he had proper notice. I hadn’t wanted to speak with Eric, so I made it clear that only I was moving out. I had expected that Eric would be moving out too. 

Hearing that he now had someone else moving in felt like a lead weight in my stomach. Since the apartment only had one bedroom, it was doubtful that one of his friends moved in with him. That must mean that it was Emily. Unless there was someone else. 

My mind spun with all of the possibilities and implications for hours. I once again replayed every moment of my relationship with Eric and every conversation I had with Emily about Eric, looking for signs that I had missed before. 

What I wanted was to text Emily and tell her about my new living arrangement, about how excited I was, and discuss the weird encounters with Connor. We used to talk about everything. But I know even that relationship had been placed on the back-burner for my new job. I just thought that she had been more understanding and supportive. She was also driven and had worked hard to succeed as an interior decorator. Perhaps I neglected her too much as well. Maybe I just wasn’t cut out for relationships with people. 

When moving day officially arrived, I was exhausted but also excited. I was ready to begin moving forward and to piece whatever remained of my old life back together. 

We loaded everything into my dad’s truck, and the three of us made our way to my new home. 

My mom, unlike my dad, was nothing but excited about my move. She understood the importance of this to me, and while she also had concerns about a roommate I didn’t know, she was much more optimistic about the arrangement. 

We pulled up to the house at precisely 10:00 a.m. I had been given a key to the house yesterday, so after two sharp knocks, I walked in. I heard the hum of a vacuum but could not see Connor from where I was standing. I called out a quick good morning, hoping that he heard me and led the way downstairs. 

The hum of the vacuum got louder as I descended. Confused, I picked up my pace and saw that Connor was downstairs, vacuuming the living area with headphones on. His back was to us as he cleaned the room. 

I was surprised by how touched I felt by the scene. Never once had I seen Eric do much more than a cursory cleaning of anything, and he NEVER vacuumed. The area had been clean yesterday, but seeing the care that he gave to each spot brought a huge smile to my face. It made me feel bad that we would be walking in and out with shoes on. 

Not sure how to react, I decide to proceed carrying the boxes to my room. We would have to walk past him, and he would see us as we headed towards the room. 

As we walked past Connor, our eyes connected, and for a moment, the air seemed to hum with electricity. Not sure what that was about, I set down my boxes and smiled widely. Connor pulled out his headphones and smiled sheepishly at me. 

“I wanted to get one more cleaning in before you were officially moved in. I must have lost track of time,” his gaze held mine as he stowed his headphones into his pocket. He immediately turned to my parents, who were placing their boxes next to mine. “Pleasure to see you again, Christopher, and you must be Natalie’s sisters.” 

I rolled my eyes at the ridiculously overused line but felt my smile pull even tighter. My mom beamed at Connor as if he had said the sweetest thing. 

“No! I am Natalie’s mother, Veronica. It is nice to meet you!” My mom walked up to him and hugged him. Connor looked taken completely aback by this as if the poor boy had never been hugged before in his life. Maybe I should have warned him that my mom was a big hugger. 

When Connor managed to extract himself from my mom’s arms, our eyes met again. His deep blue eyes had me snared. I felt like I could get lost in them and never even want to find my way out. 

A throat clearing broke our contact, and I was surprised with how disappointed I felt. 

“Good to see you again, Connor. Thank you for cleaning down here again,” my dad said with a tight polite smile. Sighing internally, I knew that my dad has just seen that intense moment between me and someone I just met.

“We should probably get the rest of my things out of your truck,” I said to my dad. Giving Connor one last smile as I turned to walk away. 

“Can I help you bring things in?” I almost missed the first step in my surprise at Connor’s question. After yesterday, I hadn’t really known what to expect from him, but I definitely didn’t expect him to offer to help me. 

“That would be fantastic! Thank you!” My mom said, following after me with a bounce. She winked at me as she passed me on the stairs, my dad following quickly behind, not meeting my eyes. I felt utterly rooted to the spot as I tried to hide my surprise. Based on the self-satisfied smile on Connor’s face, I was not remotely succeeding. Dimples appeared on his cheeks, and those blue eyes threatened to pull me back in.

“Thank you. I don’t have much,” I uprooted my feet and all but started all but running up the stairs. “You really don’t need to help.”

“I know. But I am happy to help.” I can feel Connor following close behind on the stairs. I am almost concerned that I will elbow him in my haste to get outside.

As I make my way quickly towards the truck, trying to put space between us, Connor pulls up next to me and quietly walks beside me. My father hands him what I know is the heaviest box containing nothing but my books. I smirked at the shock and quick glance Connor throws my way. 

“What the hell do you have in here!” My dad and I share a smile as he hands me a box of clothes. 

“I bet you’re glad you decided to help now,” I say as I walk back to the house.