A Forbidden Love

Chapter 4

The next few weeks went by quickly. Azura had returned to work and things were back to “normal”. Meaning, the usual chaos of this company.

It was a bad day as far as staffing. A bunch of them had quit, because they were tired of me harping on them. I had to help Azura with a bunch of paperwork as we had gotten back logged.

It was a comfortable feeling. We talked a while. Nikki came in to help and we all had a great time talking and getting work done. It turned into us all sitting and talking for hours. Late into the evening, we all finally called it quits for the day.

Azura took off. Not a second after Nikki saw Azura drive off, she came over to me.

“Heyyyyy,” she says, lifting her brows at me.

“Um, yes?” Nikki was leaning towards me and I was leaning away from her. It was awkward, but Nikki was always the awkward one.

“So, what’s up with you and Azura?”

I scrunched my brows, “What do you mean?”

“I saw the way you were looking at her. And she was looking at you.”

I laughed. For a moment my heart skipped a beat, but I decided there was no way. “Nikki are you smoking that s**t again?”

We both laughed.

“I know you don’t believe me, but time will tell. I saw it. I’m not crazy.” She paused. “Don’t you say anything! I am crazy, but I know what I saw!”

“Have a good night, Nikki!” I yelled as I walked out the door.

I sat in my car and thought about what Nikki said. There was no way Azura felt any way towards me other than her boss or maybe a friend, but anything more wasn’t possible. I drove home and as I did, the pit in my stomach began to deepen as I neared my house.

Parking in the driveway, I could see Jay was awake and most likely had been drinking all day. Which meant there was going to be a fight tonight.

I have tried to keep my mouth shut, but some of the things he says hurt me. He never used to drink like this until he lost his job. He couldn’t see the switch that happened when he was drinking.

When that alcohol hit his tongue, he got mean and nasty. I was miserable, but I loved him too much to give up. We had made it 10 years at this point. His drinking was just a temporary thing, I kept telling myself. We drink, but it wasn’t to this extent. I couldn’t understand why he felt the need to drink. I tried talking to him about getting a job, so he had something to do throughout the day. He always fought me on the idea. He said he just wanted to enjoy not having to work for a while.

Taking a moment to picture my emotions and place them in a box. I shut it and locked it up with several chains and a lock. I couldn’t allow myself to feel it, because what he was going to say when I got in there was not going to be anything kind, nice or good.

Sure enough, as soon as I made it through the door, Jay came stumbling over to me.

“Heyyyy babbyyy,” he smiled. I could smell the stench of alcohol coming from him.

“Hi honey. How was your day?” I asked robotically.

“Oh it wassss good. I wass thinking of yyyou.” Seeing him smile again made my stomach drop. I used to love his smile, but now it just sets me on edge. It looked like an evil Cheshire cat.

“I am glad you had a good day honey. What would you like for dinner?”

“I don’t carrrre. Letssss go out.” He slurred.

The idea of taking him out to eat was not appealing. He would just embarrass me in front of everyone.

I had to think of something quick. “Honey, I would love to cook for you.”

I held my breath as he thought over my offer.

“Thatsss fine honey. I’m going to go lay down” His words were slow, which was a good sign. He would be asleep soon.

Walking into the kitchen, I saw what waited for me. It was completely trashed, but then so was the rest of the house. Everything was disgusting. Dust, dirt, trash, clothes, just all of it.

I sighed heavily and thought about that chest I had all of my emotions shoved in. It needed to stay locked. I could feel it fighting to open as my anxiety reared it’s ugly head. I have a minor case of OCD, but when everything is always dirty and gross, my anxiety kicks in regularly.

Turning off my thoughts, I turned on quiet music and got to work.

5 hours later, the house was finally in a place where I could actually relax. It was around 3 in the morning and I was going to be dead exhausted tomorrow, but it was worth it. I could get restful sleep for 3 hours at least.

Grabbing a string cheese from the fridge, I peeled it and ate it as I headed to my bedroom.

Jay was fast asleep and snoring away. I tried to carefully get into bed so as to not disturb him. I, for some reason, have to lie on my left side in order to go to sleep. It worked to my benefit. It had me facing away from him. At least I wouldn’t have to smell his horrid breath all night.

As I got comfortable wrapped in my blanket, Jay rolled over and scooted closer to me. He draped his arm across me and held me close.

Sadness consumed me. I missed this. I missed when we were happy. He loved me then. Now, I don’t know if he loved me more or hated me more. Some days I knew. Most days, I don’t. I haven’t been able to figure out the pattern. His behavior gave nothing away.

Some days I come home to honey, babe, beautiful. Other days I come home to cunt and b***h. When he referred to me by those names, he might have as well as referred to me as “Worthless”.

I snuggled close to him and allowed a few tears to fall before I shut down again and worked on finding sleep.

Several days passed without anything of note.

Today was going to be different. I was finally going to go through all the documents in the basement. Azura and I had been talking quite a bit at work. It was nice. She was kind and caring and I really liked talking to her. I actually felt heard.

I passed up each staff member and said good morning as I did. I stopped at Azura’s desk to chat for a moment.

“Good morning Azura. How are you doing today?”

“I’m great. I got all my work done early. You have anything I can help with?”

“Actually, do you mind helping me get through all those documents in the basement? The IRS says we only have to keep them for 7 years, but there has to be at least 10 years of crap down there.”

“Yeah, let me grab an energy drink from the fridge and I will meet you down there. Do you want one?”

“Yeah, if you could grab me a regular red bull, I would be eternally grateful.” I shouted over my shoulder as I walked to my office.

Grabbing the shredder, I headed down the hall to the ominous basement. I carefully made my way down the stairs.

I found Azura in the basement already organizing the boxes. When she saw me, she pointed to the silver and blue can on the shelf.

“Okay, so we don’t need to keep anything from before 2015. I’ve got the shredder here and we need to destroy the documents we don’t need. Anything we have to keep, let’s get it organized and put it into boxes to line along the walls. I’d only do 4 tall or we may run into a problem.”

“Cool.”

We got to work.

It was harmonious. I moved and she moved. We got the work done quickly. I was expecting to spend a few days down here getting the mess organized. In total, it took us around 6 hours to get it all done.

The whole time we talked and laughed. I was feeling out of sorts throughout the day, but I knew it was because I was lacking affection.

Azura noticed my tension and asked what was wrong.

“Oh, it's nothing. Just my body acting weird.”

As I bent down to grab a box, she went to walk behind me at the same time. I lost balance and started falling backwards. Falling right onto Azura.

I was sitting right in between her legs facing away from her. I looked back carefully and apologized.

“I’m so sorry. I am clumsy and didn’t mean to make you fall too.”

I had turned my face away from her so she couldn’t see the embarrassment written all over my face.

I felt her get close to my ear and whisper. “It’s fine, I don’t mind.” She brought her hand up to my arm and slid her fingers down the length of my arm. The sensation gave me goose bumps.

I felt her hot breath against my neck. My hair was up and gave her the perfect access to start kissing my neck.

I moaned with pleasure. It had been so long since I felt this way.

She slid her hand up to my throat and gently squeezed it. My eyes closed as I enjoyed the feeling of her hand being around my throat and her lips on my shoulder making her way down.

Reality smacked me in the face and I quickly scrambled to get up.

“I am so sorry, Azura, that was so inappropriate of me.”

She was still on the floor with her legs spread and leaning back on her hands.

Azura wore converse shoes, jeans, a Wyoming cowboy’s shirt and her hat was backwards. Taking a look at her like this was turning me on. I could feel my core warming up. Desire was pooling within me and I had to get out of there.

“Again, I am so sorry. I think we should call it done for tonight.”

Azura stood up and came towards me. I moved unsteadily over to where I had my belongings and grabbed them. I was trying to make things seem normal, but my heart rate was screaming at me otherwise.

Azura went over and grabbed her own belongings. I turned and headed up the stairs. Inside I was laughing at myself for what just happened. She may have started it, but I showed her that I enjoyed it.

We both went to our cars and I yelled at Azura to have a good night before I got in and sped off.

I was still heating with desire as I drove home. Silently, I sent a prayer begging God to let Jay be sober tonight. I needed release or I was going to explode.

My prayers were answered half way. He wasn’t sober, but he wasn’t in one of his angry moods tonight. As I rushed into the house, I ran for Jay. Innocently he was sitting on the couch watching a movie when I came running in. I straddled his lap and kissed him passionately.

He kissed my lips back, but it wasn’t enough. I pulled away enough to take off my pants and underwear. I needed him with a desperation I couldn’t calm. He took the opportunity to pull his own clothes off.

His member was hard and ready for me. I slipped him into my wet folds and allowed the sensations to calm my needs.

I slammed him in and out of me and then I heard his grunts.

He was done. Jay was a one and done kind of man. He couldn’t handle going more than once. Which meant I was s**t out of luck.

“That was nice, my love.” He smiled at me.

I just smiled back. “I’m going to go take a shower honey.”

As I walked to the bathroom, I got more and more frustrated. My body needed to be ravaged.

No sooner had I turned on the water and my phone chimed. A smile broke out on my face seeing it was from Azura. It read, “Miss me yet?”

Cocky, but I liked it. I texted back. “You know it. What are you up to?”

I set down my phone to turn to get in the shower when I got another chime.

“Just lying here. I was thinking of you. We should go hang out.”

My heart fluttered in my chest. My mind was telling me this was a really bad idea, but everything else was begging me to go see her.

“Let me shower and I will be there. Where do you want to meet?” I texted back.

I jumped in the shower to get cleaned up. All of a sudden, I was extremely self-conscious of my body. Like a teenager excited for her first date, I was checking my body to ensure perfection. Shaved every inch of my body.

Jay came walking into the bathroom. “How are you, my love?”

“I’m good honey. Hey, there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

“Yes?” He asks.

“So, there’s a girl I am interested in. Are you okay with me hanging out with her?”

Without hesitation, he responded, “Yeah, that’s fine honey. Do your thing.”

This situation was not unusual for us. When Jay and I got together I had an active relationship with a woman. Her name was Aria. We were together for 3 years.

We split amicably. We just weren’t meant to be together. Friends, yes. Lovers, no.

Ever since, on rare occasions I satiated my desires with women. I always tried to keep them just like bed buddies.

I thought for a moment and realized Azura would never be with me that way. I saw her ex. She was gorgeous. Compared to her, I was of small note.

I got out of the shower and got ready to go. My nerves were on edge. I had no idea what was going to happen tonight, but I would never know if I didn’t go.

I headed out. She had told me to meet her at the office. We were going to carpool and go hang out in the park. It was one that I have been at many times. I didn’t understand why she wanted to carpool, but I wasn’t going to argue.

She had gotten there before me. As I drove, I saw her standing outside of her car, leaning against it. She looked amazing. Of course, she had that gorgeous smile on her face.

My heart skipped several beats.

I got out and she walked over. Before I could even say hello, she pushed me up against my car and kissed me. Her lips were not soft, but hungry. They looked to devour me. My lips reciprocated her need. My mind was silent, but my heart was beating fast and loud.

She ran her hands down my sides, electrifying my skin with need. I moaned into her mouth.

At this she pulled away. Her breathing was also heavy. I couldn’t help but stare into her eyes. They mesmerized me. Called to me.

“Do you want to go?” She asks me. Like an i***t, I couldn’t speak. I just nodded my head.

We both got into my car and took off down the road to the secluded park we had agreed to go to.

It wasn’t far from the office so it didn’t take long. The ride was silent, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. My mind was racing with what just happened.

I pulled in and parked at the far end of the park where we didn’t have prying eyes. It did worry me a little that people from work would see us. Normally I wouldn’t cross that line, but Azura was nothing that I had ever experienced.

No sooner had I turned my car off, Azura was leaning over and capturing my lips again. My core was hot and burning with desire. It needed to be quenched. As if hearing my body's desires, she began taking off my shirt.

All sense of reason within me snapped and was gone. I stopped her from continuing our make-out session and I got in the back of my car. Well, it was more of a van, but the back gave us enough room to enjoy ourselves. She crawled back after me. From there my clothes came flying off.

She spread my legs and took my sensitive petals into her mouth. I moaned loudly as she played with my sensitive bud. She brought me to the edge and sent me sailing over it. I went over and over again in her mouth.

Looking down at her, I could see she was also enjoying herself. Of course, my stupid anxiety had to kick in and I started worrying that I didn’t taste good, but I couldn’t stop her. I didn’t want her to stop.

I have no idea how long we danced this dance. Me cumming over and over again all over her hot tongue.

Once she had had enough, she came to my mouth and began devouring my lips again. Her hands played with my sensitive n*****s. I couldn’t hold back my moans. I felt her staddle my leg with her clothes on and she began to rub herself against me. Never in my life would I find having clothes on so hot. The sounds she released were exhilarating.

Finally, when we both had c*m, we just laid there.

My phone went off. I grabbed it and took a look. It was Angelica. She said there was a problem with one of our systems at the office and security was trying to get ahold of me.

I realized I had 6 missed calls from the security officer.

“Hey, I have to head back to the office. There’s a problem and duty calls.”

“Well, let’s go.” Azura smiled at me. Every inch of me wanted to go again, but my mind had finally found its voice. My senses were back, which meant my anxiety would take over if I tried to ignore their calls any further.

We rode back to the office in silence, but both of us had grins on our faces.

Once we got back, I went in and she took off.

The problem was a minor one and didn’t take long to fix. I went home and had to figure out how to get some sleep.

Jay was already out when I got home. I curled up in bed and fell asleep with Azura consuming my thoughts.