Shameless

Maybe he is in love

"Do you feel better, hon?"

On the mattress placed out on the soft grass behind the church, Ashly sat alongside him. Cristian sat with his leg raised and his arms folded across his knees. He saw a swarm of children dressed up for Sunday chasing each other about the vast lawn, dashing in between the scant evergreens.

Cristian thought, "How innocent." There isn't a care in the world. They're too little to know what they'll be like when they grow up.

"Cristian?" Ashly stroked his back, and he turned away from the children.

"Huh?"

"I was wondering if you were feeling any better."

He smiled politely as he took a slow, deep breath. "Yeah."

Soon after vomiting, nausea had subsided. Isaac had vanished when he decided to return to the church. He didn't ask where he'd gone, and no one told him. It didn't make a difference. When he is not around, everything has been better.

A sting of guilt pricked him, but he brushed it off like a pesky bug. He had no reason to feel guilty because the man had brought it upon himself. Isaac couldn't assume him to want him thereafter what he'd done.

Ashly wrapped her arm around his and rested her head on his shoulder. Her gaze was drawn to the children. Her lips curled up into a smile. "I can't wait to start a family with you." She said slowly.

A child. Cristian felt a chill come over him, and his heart pounded hard against his ribs. He and Ashly had discussed having children and how many they wanted. She was dead set on three or four. Cristian had been all for it—at the time. But what about now? His mind had recently become so jumbled that he couldn't even think straight.

He looked over her when he felt her gaze on him. "What?" He questioned softly.

"Well…

I suppose I was hoping for a reaction." Her eyes were clouded with apprehension. "You're not having doubts yourself, are you?"

Cristian scratched the back of his neck, his skin soaked with a light sheen of sweat from the warm sun beating against his back. "What are you talking about?" He inquired. "With having children from you?"

"Everything." Ashly's brow furrowed. "We're getting married."

"What makes you think that?" Cristian's stomach began to clench once more. Will he ever have another moment of peace in this life? He was beginning to have reservations.

"It just seems like... you've been stressed a lot lately." She made a comment. "More than typical pre-wedding jitters." She made a shaky motion with her head. "How am I supposed to feel? I mean, maybe you don't want to marry me."

Cristian wrapped his arms over her shoulders and kissed her. "I'm not sure what's bothering me. But I'm convinced it's not that."

The lie came out so smoothly that it made him wonder if it was always this simple to lie to her.

Ashly leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "Whatever it is, I'm confident it will pass."

"I certainly hope so," Cristian muttered, knowing he had a snowball's chance in hell of it happening.

Cristian looked up as a shadow passed across them.

 "Ashly," Faustino called. "Your mother asked if you might come to help her in the dining hall."

Ashly smiled and nodded. "Certainly." She stroked Cristian's chin and stared down at him, softly kissing him on the lips. "I'll be right back. I love you.

"I love you as well," Cristian replied, his words heavy and low. Please, Lord, let that remain true.

When Ashly stood up and went away, Cristian realized he hadn't kissed her back. It was only a kiss on the lips, and she did not give you a chance to kiss her back. Don't make a big deal out of anything.

"Do you mind if I lie down?" Faustino inquired.

Cristian shook his head, chuckling. "By all means lie down."

Cristian was struck by how much Faustino's chuckle sounded like Isaac's.

The man sat in Ashly's spot on the blanket, his legs pulled up like Cristian's, arms lying over his knees. His attention was drawn to the woods where the youngsters were playing. His lips curved into a grin. Cristian found himself staring at Faustino's face, noting every aspect that reminded him of Isaac's. He hadn't noticed how much they resembled each other.

"Are you really fine, son?"

Cristian made a blinking motion. Faustino was still smiling as he stared at him. Cristian quickly averted his gaze. "Yeah, yeah." He giggled softly and pushed his lips together. "I was just thinking about how much you and Isaac resemble one other."

Faustino smirked as he brushed his fingers across his mouth. "Well, I'll consider it a compliment." He winked at me.

"My son is a handsome young man."

Absolutely. Cristian suppressed the shudder that attempted to rush through him as the surface of his skin began to quiver slightly.

Faustino's expression dimmed somewhat, and Cristian felt his gaze on him. Nerves immediately twisted his intestines into knots. Please, God, don't let him know the truth about Isaac's impact on me.

"Did you talk to Isaac before?" Faustino wondered. His voice had taken on a somewhat worried tone. "He said he'd return to check on you. Do you have any idea why he left without informing us?"

Cristian shrugged his shoulders slowly as he moved across the blanket. "I'm not sure." The falsehoods seemed to be flowing out in a constant stream these days. "I had a quick conversation with him. I assured him I was fine, just a bit queasy."

"Hmm." Faustino shifted his gaze ahead, his eyes squinting with contemplation. "I tried phoning his mobile phone, but it just went to voice mail." H let out a sigh. "I suppose he'll call me back whenever he feels like it. I'm not sure what's going on with him lately, but something isn't right."

Cristian's intestines were wrapped in tight cables that strained taut. "What do you mean?" he inquired slowly and circumspectly.

"Something isn't right."

Faustino shook his head. "Well, the thing is, Isaac is a fairly laid-back guy. There isn't much that gets through to him. When his conduct begins to alter, it typically indicates that something is bothering him."

"Does he never talk to you about anything?"

"He does that a lot," Faustino remarked, shrugging and frowning slightly. "However, not this time." He groaned, grinned, and winked once more. "Perhaps he's fallen in love. Nothing like being bitten by the love bug to throw a man's world off-kilter." He gave Cristian a gentle nudge. "Am I correct?"

"Yeah." Cristian chuckled, but he didn't find it amusing.

Perhaps he's fallen in love.

Cristian was about to tell him, no, but he kept mute. He's not in love. It has nothing to do with the heart, whatever it is.