Shameless

I want you

Cristian was oblivious to the content of Ashly's comments. The ringing was starting to return to his ears, and it felt as if Ashly was speaking from afar. He couldn't get the worry out of his body, and mind.

And, of course, heart.

He suppressed the temptation to push Ashly's hand away as she continued to play with the hair at the back of his neck. It wasn't bothersome, but every touch on his skin reminded him that he was cheating on her every second that he was lying to her.  But, since she wasn't asking direct questions, was he truly lying?

An omission is an act of dishonesty.

If it was something she had the right to know and he was suppressing it from her, then he would be lying. There were no ambiguities. This is not the case.

He cautiously raised his head—and was immediately drawn into Isaac's strong look. A tremor ran over him as he took in a short, harsh breath before he could stop himself.

He returned.

Cristian's pulse incited, increasing in speed like a scar racer shifting gears. When Isaac realized he was staring, he abruptly turned away, which felt far too much like a searing slap to Cristian's face.

In his mind, the bathroom incident replayed again. Cristian's animosity toward Isaac was unjustified. He was only attempting to assist him as he had done in front of the church. Rather than just thanking him, he'd dismissed him, just as Ashly had done before.

The expression on Isaac's face. The hurt in his words returned to Cristian as he gazed across the beautiful lawn at the man. Talking with Faustino. His tux jacket was gone, and the sleeves of his white dress shirt were pulled halfway up his forearms. The royal blue tie he'd worn in the church had vanished, and the first few buttons on his shirt had come undone.

Isaac gave him short, discrete glances, almost reluctantly, as if he was trying not to look at him but couldn't help himself.

Guilt stabbed him as he reflected on what had been done in the restroom. But he'd been perfectly legal in saying such things to Isaac. The man had once crossed the line, and it was only a matter of time until he did it again. Wasn't that the case?

So why was remorse wrapping itself around his heart like a web, slowly and gradually squeezing him in?

Just say sorry and go away.

Isaac moved, crawled to his feet, and stood. He was expecting Ashly to ask where he was going, but she didn't, and he didn't explain. The grass was smooth and thick beneath his hoes as he went towards Isaac, the air pleasant and comforting on his cheeks. The light breeze toyed with Isaac's black hair, sweeping strands across his brow and into his eyes, then softly caressing them back.

Cristian's heart pounded against his ribs, and his hands tingled with the need to run their fingers through the smooth black strands. He tried to resist the unfavorable ideas but realized he lacked the strength—and the will—to do so. His gaze was locked with Isaac's, and he couldn't break the spell.

As he arrived, Faustino and others dispersed, leaving Isaac alone. The man merely gazed at Cristian, watching him intently as he got closer—then abruptly turned away and walked into the forest.

Cristian's eyes trembled, a lance of anguish piercing his heart, rejection burning his eyes. Should he go with him? Did the guy just want him to keep his distance, as he had warned Isaac? He shifted his gaze to Ashly, but she was nowhere to be seen, maybe she went back inside to help her mother. His eyes gradually returned to the woods. They were sparse in the front but denser as you moved back. Isaac's white shirt shone out as he wound his way around the tree trunks, moving deeper and without looking back.

You came over to say sorry to him-so get over it!

Cristian paused, his pulse hammering, he flashed another peek behind him. Is he looking for Ashly in the hopes that she would beckon to him and lure him back to her?

Or was he merely making sure she wasn't looking as he prepared to pursue the man he promised he'd never pursued?

You're not pursuing him. You're merely looking for him to apologize.

Cristian accepted the deception and followed Isaac into the forest, too preoccupied with his unpredictable emotions to contemplate alternate causes.

What is he doing?

The trees were becoming denser, and the canopy of evergreen limbs was beginning to block out the light, casting shadows on the woodland floor. Cristian had lost sight of Isaac a few minutes before, but he could still tell where he was by the breaking of a twig or the rustling of undergrowth.

What's the point of chasing him this far into the woods? Why would he come in here?

Cristian slowed and eventually came to a halt. He looked behind him, but all he could see was a sliver of the church edifice. A few more yards in, and it would be completely out of sight.

Should he return? Was Ashly looking for him? Will she question him about his whereabouts?

It makes no difference to me.

He was taken aback by the forthright notion. It makes no difference for me.  I even don't care if she finds out.

He shifted his gaze to the woods. Silence hung from the thick branches and landed on the needle-padded woodland floor. As he tried to listen to Isaac's footsteps, his ears began to ring. There was, however, nothing.

'Isaac-" he began to call out as a hand from behind slipped over his lips. His breath stopped sharply as a muscular body leaned up against him and soft lips brushed across his ear.

“Shhh.” Isaac lets out a barely audible sigh. “Someone could hear us.”

Cristian's heart rate had skyrocketed. Air became trapped in his throat, causing him to hitch, spasm, and puff aggressively into Isaac's hand.

“I had a feeling you'd follow me.” His lips were warm as they moved gently at Cristian's earlobe, causing a tremor to flow down his body, sending a fire trail in its wake.

When Isaac planted a small kiss on Cristian's jaw just under his ear, a moan got out from his throat. His hand slowly slipped away from Cristian's lips, crept down under his chin, and softly grasped his throat. Isaac's lips caressed his ear once again. "Do what you intended to do.”

Cristian sucked hard, his Adam's apple pressing across Isaac's palm. His chest was pounding so fast that he couldn't breathe.    His throat pressed against Isaac's palm as he tried to form the words that were suddenly escaping him. What had driven him to follow Isaac into the woods?

To say to him.

I'm sorry about what happened in the restroom.

“I-I just want," his words were tight as Isaac gently squeezed his throat. His muscular body was pressed up against Cristian's, his yearning palpable. Cristian's groin flared with a subtle searing agony. He waited for the voice to shout through his head to refuse it, to combat it at all costs. But there was complete silence. “I felt obliged to apologize...” Cristian was able to escape.

“No.” Isaac's lips were burning upon his ear. “I told you to do what you wanted to do." His voice was low, sending tingles on my lower body.

Cristian raised an eyebrow. What does he mean? "I-I don't" he stated when Isaac looked at him.

“What brings you here?” Isaac mumbled. Cristian was instantly seized by the frantic yearning to be scorched by the fire as his unusual eyes blazed hot.

'T-To Say sorry.'" Cristian shook. Isaac's hands grasped each side of Cristian's neck, his thumb firmly stroking up and down Cristian's throat.

Isaac dropped his head and moved in close, his lips only inches away from Cristian's mouth. “Tell me the truth and let the devil be ashamed of it.”

Cristian shivered. Speak the truth. And what is really the truth?

The apology was only an excuse.

Cristian's lips opened and shook, his throat clenching beneath Isaac's touch. Isaac's hot breath entered his mouth.

Please kiss me. He recalled regretting asking for the men's kisses previously. But he couldn't recall why.

“What do you want from me, Cristian?” Isaac said softly, his voice husky and seductive. He licked Cristian's neck as he spoke softly and gently as if it were a shared idea rather than uttered words.

Cristian shuddered. What do you need? His hands move and slipped around Isaac's wrists.  Cristian's palms grew heated as he touched his flesh. “I don't need anything from you.” Cristian shook as all the facts he'd worked so hard to keep hidden began to emerge one by one—and there was nothing he could do to stop it. His conscience and conviction appeared to have gone on vacation somewhere far away. Except for him and Isaac, everything faded; Ashly had disappeared, taking his remorse and humiliation with her.

His grip on Isaac's wrists intensified. The man's pulse was fast and irregular against Cristian's fingertips. “I just w-want you.”