My Jolly Alpha - Burgov Series V

1. Orson

The phone slipped again and I had to set it up straight on the counter, making the volume a little lower. The wild and most definitely fake moans coming from p**n do little to turn me on, but it's either that or re-living the last time I saw a woman naked, and I think it was even sadder.

So, with less commitment than one would hope, I fisted my length, squeezing it up and down, glancing at the threesome action on the small screen of my phone.

Fuck, I remember the good old times when I was the lucky guy with one girl riding on my c**k and her friend doing the same on my face. Ah, those were the days.

And look at me now…

Sad, pathetic tosser hidden in the solitude of his bathroom, as if I was fifteen again.

Where the f**k has my life gone wrong?!

I was supposed to be at the top of the world, finally proving to everyone that I'm not a complete deadbeat. But even such a simple task as taking over a thriving pack was beyond my ability. Sometimes I wish I had come up with an idea of showing two middle fingers to our home, like my brother did, and starting over someplace else. It did good to him to create himself anew in a place where no one sees him through all his failures.

Not to mention how everyone seemed to be all too eager to take off out of here as soon as I got the reins, as if expecting this place to blow up and wanting to get the hell away from the blast wave.

My sister was gone for years, so she's in the clear. But Nicky and my parents… The three of them just itched to pack their bags and leave me alone in the job I didn't even want, but somehow, because of the stupid fact of being the eldest, I was forced into it.

Nicky would be much better at it. He always pretended he didn't care, but I knew he did. The fact he started negotiating with Alpha Miller and, in the blink of an eye, uprooted his life also proves he wasn't lacking ambition, which I sadly have very little. It's not like I would outdo my old man in the field, so why even bother?

Even Uliana would be far better. She's just as caring for everybody as our Mother, so she would have had no trouble keeping this place in line.

And finally, my parents, who live their best lives on either another exotic beach, coming back to check on Liana and do the laundry to take off the next day. I kinda envy them that freedom, not that they haven't worked for it.

But I... I was always the black sheep.

All my life I kept hearing, Orson, behave! Why can't you be more composed like Sean? You need to train, study and do better, even Dean caught up with you. The constant comparison, however, had the opposite effect, and I simply didn't want to prove myself anymore. If everyone saw me only through the sum of my mistakes, I was done with showing there was more to me. If they see me as a villain, fine by me.

But the job wasn't even the worst that could happen to me. The day I thought I had won the lottery, however, was.

My mate showed up out of the blue. There was no announcement, no signs in the sky, she just one day stopped in front of me and that was it.

I can't say, she's hot, with the figure of a supermodel and always perfectly styled blonde hair that made her stand out in the crowd. But that's where good things end, because we have absolutely nothing in common.

I know, I know, not everyone has it easy. Dozens of my parents' pictures from the Comic Cons and other gaming conventions that my Mother dragged Dad to prove as much. That also shows that two completely different people can somehow make things work if they just try.

And boy, I do try. Or more like I did, because after she torpedoed each of my attempts to be charming, I slowly started thinking f**k it.

Conversations with Kimmy are hard. Where I would like to talk about something funny and lighthearted to chill at the end of the day, she's more into politics and current Pack's matters. Where I'm more outdoorsy, she acts as if she was suffering from agoraphobia. Where my taste in books is in fantasy, she pegs them as immature, as if her precious romances were any less fictional. We couldn't even agree on a movie the few times we tried.

But even then, I wasn't giving up, thinking that where we aren't compatible intellectually we could always compensate by getting freaky under the sheets, right? After all, my parents didn't have many shared interests either.

But boy, was I wrong?

At first I thought she was simply shy, and I even felt great conquering her. But when we got to actually do the dead it felt nothing like the flaming tornado my brother said his s*x life was like. Mine was simply meh.

It wasn't even about that she was inexperienced, but f*****g someone who barely touches you and does her best to look the other way makes me feel like a creep. Like a damn p*****t shoving his d**k into a dead fish.

Even after I marked her, not much has changed. f**k, we don't even share a bedroom, and she dodges my ever innuendos like a damn ninja. And that brings me to jacking off in my bathroom. The cherry on top of my f****d up life.

The action on the screen got hot and heavy and the blonde girl with an accent screamed bloody murder, making the whole scene more hilarious than sexy and I decided to switch the phone off since it wasn't working.

I closed my eyes, deciding to picture the blurred moment from my past as a single guy and it worked better than any p**n I could play. In just a few more moves, my balls started tightening and I finally shot my load missing the sink by inches.

"Shit." - I cussed, shoving my c**k back into my pants and wiping the mess, not wanting to get another glare from my housekeeper after her shift.

After I was done, I left my bedroom and went straight to the kitchen, separated from the family dining room only by the island in the middle that looked really strange without my Mother bustling behind it. Right now it's just one Omega who comes in three times a day to prepare meals, nothing more, making the home I grew up in lose the smell of homemade food. Another change for the worse since I took over.

"Gentlemen." - I nodded to Teddy and Dave walking around the counter to prepare myself a plate.

My Beta and Gamma are both almost a decade younger than me. It's not that big of an issue, especially since I grew up being like their older brother, but there is that parable misunderstanding between us sometimes and it shows.

When I reach back to the memories of when we were preparing to take over all three packs and the small friendly tournament our old men threw us, it was more than clear we were lacking in a few areas. It was no longer than six months ago, yet it sometimes feels like a lifetime ago, when things were simpler. Back then I was stupid enough to wish to have the transition over with. Now I kick myself for this every f*****g day.

But the outcome of the team-building exercise our fathers prepared was eye-opening. Sean and I were both sure, as the older ones, we would settle the score between the two of us. So what a surprise it was when my two cousins, Dean and Ellie, together with my brother-in-law, Boris, beat the s**t out of us in every competition, making me come in last. They worked like a well-oiled machine, with each of them thriving in different areas, but at the end of the day they delivered the score.

However, in the end, it all went to s**t anyway, since Ellie didn't even become Harvest Moon Gamma after all. But it made me start thinking that the three of us should work closer and bond more. But it wasn't all easy when you couldn't even legally hit the bar with them yet. And after the ordeal with Ellie, I learned my lesson that you may never be too sure of who's watching.

"My sister had me ask you…" - Dave started saying from his seat and I raised my hand to stop him.

"Business or pleasure?" - I asked him and he huffed, rolling his eyes - "Come on, man, you know my one rule. No business outside of the office."

"Fine, we'll talk about it later." - he said, but I could tell he was annoyed. - "Although it's more of a family function."

"Would it require me to represent the Midnight Banes or would I be able to s**t my face?" - I asked him back with a smirk, pouring a little bit of rum from my flask into my coffee, and just by the wince on David's face I knew it was the first group.

"Fine." - David finally let it go, focusing back on his plate.

"So what's new with you guys?" - I asked, sitting on the stool.

"Not much." - Dave shrugged - "Dad, Mickey and I are going hunting on Thursday night if you want to join us."

I chuckled, shaking my head.

"And try to catch up with the three Gammas? I think I'll pass. But feel free to take Teddy." - I said, pointing my thumb at my Beta, who choked on the piece of his toast.

"Are you people insane? It's a f*****g December, I don't want to end up in a f*****g ice hole." - he said vigorously, shaking his head, making Dave and me laugh.

"Morning." - the sweet voice broke our laughter coming from the entrance, when Kimmy made her way into the kitchen. Her sweet caramel scent engulfed my senses and I smiled at her.

"Good morning." - the three of us answered her. She pecked my cheek on the way, and went straight to the coffee maker, pouring herself a to-go cup, like she always did in the morning, and she turned back to us with a smile on her face.

"What're you guys up to this morning?" - she asked with a smile, always making an effort to be interested. Okay, maybe I haven't done much for this Pack, but at least I brought home a Luna who gives a f**k, so that counts for something, right?

"The usual." - Teddy shrugged, being as always the first one to answer her - "I'm starting with practice at 8 and then I have a sit down with this dude." - he pointed at me, and the three of us gaped at him, and then shared looks between us.

"Um… Teddy, it's 7:58." - Kimmy was the one to deliver him the news, and Teddy's head whipped towards the old clock behind us so fast that he almost fell off his stool.

"s**t, s**t, shit." - he cussed, showing the remains of his scrambled eggs into his mouth, making his cheeks puff as if he was a pure-blooded hamster and he ran away, leaving me and Dave smirking at his retreating back.

"And you, dear? What do you have planned for today?" - I asked Kimmy, turning back towards her.

She plastered a small, gentle smile on her face and took a sip of her coffee before answering.

"I was thinking of making my round around the pack and checking on the compound and stuff." - she admitted, making me once again feel like a slacker.

"That sounds nice. Do you want me to join you?" - I offered.

She smiled and shook her head.

"No, you do yours, I'll do mine." - she pushed away from the counter she was leaning on and started walking away. - "See you later, boys."

I looked after her, wondering if I should follow her either way. Dad used to do that all the time, trailing no further than two steps behind my Mother. Sure, he was driving my Mother crazy with how he hovered over her wherever she went, but I know she secretly liked it. Maybe I just don't try hard enough?

"You two are okay?" - David asked and I faced him, getting once again that feeling that his eyes were searching for something in my soul.

It was strange, especially since we all had the exact same eye color as all the Burgov descendants, but those damn Gammas always seem to pierce you right through your deepest concerns. I have the same uneasy feeling about Ellie and Mickey. Although, out of the three of them, only Ellie never refrained from calling me on my every bullshit, where her brothers are a little more subtle.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't we be?" - I asked back. It wasn't the truth, far from it. If we were really fine, we wouldn't be living separately after over three months.

"It's just… you know what, it's nothing." - he stopped himself.

"Oh, come on, Dave, it's just us. Hit me." - I urged him, turning on my stool to face him.

"I don't want to impose, but you two seem to act odd. Nicky, Uliana and my sister especially all behave as if they couldn't breathe without their mates. But you two are perfectly fine as you are, like two cats who share an owner, but always walk their own ways." - he pointed out, and it was like the last foundation holding the facade of my relationship finally started crumbling.

But what was I supposed to tell him? That no, I didn't have trouble breathing without her? That there are more days I wish she would go her own way than stay with me? That we have f****d a total of three times since I met her and neither of those moments changed my life?

No, that would make me feel even more shitty. There might be some things going on between Kimmy and I, but that doesn't make it right to tarnish her image. It's bad enough that mine is at the point of no return.

"She's just a little more shy and needs time. Don't forget she's still new in her." - I went for a safe explanation.

"Are you sure? Kimmy doesn't seem more shy than Uliana…" - he left the statement hanging and I didn't have the slightest clue how to answer that, because I knew mine was a lie.

"Yeah, well my sister has, as your father calls it, hot Slavic blood in her, so it's not exactly the same." - I chuckled, deciding to change the subject with the joke. - "Have you talked to Mickey?"

"Yeah. Yesterday." - Dave nodded, letting go of sniffing around Kimmy and I.

"He good?" - I asked, remembering how one time when he came over, he wouldn't stop complaining about stepping into his big sister's shoes, and since I know the feeling when people see you as inadequate, I feel strongly for my young cousin.

"Yeah, he will be. Although he keeps asking me to take our Dad off his hair. Apparently my old man isn't dealing well with his retirement and pisses Mickey off with no end."

We both chuckled because it was a well-known fact that an old dogs squad liked to mingle. I think my parents and Harvest Moon Betas were dealing the best with the shift of power, while my Uncles Vanya and Ilia, did their best to steer their sons.

"I'll call Igor later today, maybe it's time for him to invite Uncle Ilia over." - I said.

"Good thinking, otherwise there might come a day that Mickey will just deposit my parents at our border and take off." - he smirked, standing up from his seat, and clapping my back. - "I'm off. I'll see you after checking out the borders."

I nodded, watching him go, and I looked around the empty room and sighed. I got off my stool and dragged my feet to the office, turning on the computer. I went through the emails groaning at the few that came in from the League, and answering my Aunt Diana, about a few questions concerning my finances. The usual.

My phone rang, and I smirked, glancing at the screen and seeing Sean's name. He's been my best friend since we were eight, and he's one of two people who actually know about my struggles, with the other being my Aunt, Sabine. There's something about my father's sister that just doesn't allow me to lie to her. No matter how many times I told her I was fine, she simply wouldn't believe me, claiming I acted too much like my father to be fine.

I answered the call, bringing the phone to my ear.

"What's up, bro?"

"Oh you're up, good!" - he huffed in his usual exasperated tone that even the slightest bump could have brought. - "Do you know why the hell did Igor send me a hundred thousand dollars? Have you two morons made another ridiculous bet?" - he asked, making me chuckle. It was a well-known fact that the subject of money was making Sean uncomfortable. As the Alpha of his own home, Lunar Tide, he was far from being poor, but it was this one thing that could make him blow up out of proportion. He just remembers what it's like to have nothing too well, and finances are always a hard topic.

"I have no idea. But I can ask him later. I was about to call him."

"You do that, and if he doesn't have any good explanation, tell him I'm sending the money back." - he said sternly and I laughed, knowing the vein on his forehead was probably going wild at this point.

"Just breathe, Maslow." - I said lazily, leaning back in my chair. - "So what's new?"

"Nothing much." - he released a deep breath - "Corry just informed me that Lana wants to go to Ellie's gala, and I think I'm just antsy. That's too soon, right?"

"Well, it's been over three months, so if she wants to see her old Pack, let her go." - I said shrugging my shoulders - "The big question is, what f*****g gala?"

"You're joking, right?" - he asked - "The fundraiser for the Granny Spencer Foundation. Hasn't Ellie invited you? Oh bro, that's cold. She's probably still angry over punching Huxley."

Huh, maybe that was what Dave had been hinting at over breakfast.

"She probably did. It must've slipped my mind."

"Slipped your mind." - he chuckled - "You should really start a little crazy thing called a calendar."

"I have a calendar." - I said - "So I'm assuming you're going?"

"I don't have much of a choice, don't I? I won't send my Beta female there alone."

"Knowing Corry, I doubt he would let her go alone." - I pointed out, opening the email with an invite. - "f**k, it's this Sunday."

"Yeah. I can't wait to see Huxley again." - he deadpanned in an unamused tone, making me throw my head back and laugh. Neither of us was particularly fond of our Cousin's mate, but Sean showed his disdain more. For him, each event with the polished pretty-boy our Cousin snatched for herself was as pleasant as a colonoscopy.

"There will be like a hundred more people you can talk to. Just ignore him. Or better yet, find yourself some nice, promiscuous girl, and I assure you you won't even notice Huxley."

He groaned, making me laugh again.

"You and your f*****g advice." - he sighed.

"What? It's perfectly good advice." - I grinned.

"Yeah, yeah. Let me know if you're coming."

"I will." - I nodded, even though he couldn't see me.

"Okay, take care, Asshole."

"You too, Dipshit." - I answered and he disconnected the call, chuckling.

Another event at Night Walkers… That could be fun. Goddess only knows that when Ellie is throwing a party, it's never boring.

But remembering her Luna ceremony, I have my forehead crease, because of how unhappy Kimmy was that I left her by the table alone for two hours. It's not like she was completely alone. Uliana and Evelyn were there, but she doesn't seem to be bonding well with my family, so just for my own peace of mind I should probably ask her, before sending an RSVP.

I reached out with my mind-link to her, feeling that she was blocking her channel at first, just to let me through a second later.

'You need something?' - she asked and I almost rolled my eyes. If I hadn't needed anything, I wouldn't have bothered her.

'Yes. We've got an invite from Ellie to attend her gala. It's this Sunday. Should I confirm we'll be there?' - I asked, and there was silence on her side at first.

'In her pack?' - Kimmy asked.

'Yes.'

'That's very far. I don't feel like traveling for over six hours for just a party. But you can go alone if you want.' - she suggested, and my mouth went dry at the mere thought of explaining to everyone where my Luna was.

'Are you sure you wouldn't change your mind?' - I asked, hoping she would hear my tone and cave.

'Yes, I'm sure. Besides, someone should stay behind in Midnight Banes and I already have a few visitations planned.'

Excuses, excuses. She had a lot of them to stay away from my family. And to be honest, being forced into the position of answering endless questions makes me not want to go either, no matter how much I'd like to see the whole gang.

'You're right. Well sent David, that's his sister after all.'

'Orson, you can go. I won't mind.' - she assured me, not even realizing how much I would mind.

'No, that's fine. We'll see everyone next time.'

'Okay. If that's what you want.' - she said softly - 'Listen, I gotta go, I'll talk to you later.'

'Fine.' - I said, disconnecting the call.

I looked at the ceiling trying to get my irritation under control. My family is a bit much sometimes, but it doesn't sit right with me to not be there. But it's probably better than explaining why my mate avoids them all. Not that I have the slightest clue.

I sighed and logged into my bank account, transferring Ellie more than I would spend at the actual event, and I closed my laptop, deciding to head out. Maybe a run would help me understand what the bigger plan here is, because as of right now, I have no f*****g clue.