His mate's secrets

Chapter 13 - Vulnerable honesty

When Damon gave her a choice of siting in or outside of the pub, her decision was a no brainer. Some choices were as simple as knowing what she wanted and rolled off her tongue with the ease of water off a rock. Other choices were difficult. There were complications, other people to consider and feelings pulling her in opposite directions. As Flic sat opposite the Alpha, on a bench just outside the pub, she chewed her lip as her mind rolled over her decision to not tell him the truth. They both knew she had been lying, and a sinking feeling had been in her gut ever since.

Damon hadn’t pushed her to open up, in fact, he hadn’t said much to her at all since they sat down for lunch. The silence was unusually awkward, and both of the pair chose to look at their surroundings rather than each other. They weren’t far from the shop with the red dress and the Alpha had directed them to this location with practised ease. Flic didn’t know how often he left the territory, but it seemed he had frequented that establishment. He had ordered a burger which he devoured while she simply played with her chips. She couldn’t eat with the churning in her stomach, waiting for the moment Damon would demand answers from her.

She struggled with the indecision of whether to just bite the bullet and tell him. It wasn’t like she was ashamed of who she was or what she did for the pack, but a resistance held her back, like she was waiting for the perfect opportunity. With a sigh, Flic gave up on picking at her food and tipped her head back, enjoying the heat of the sun on her skin. She could feel Damon’s eyes on her, but she patiently waited for him to say what was on his mind. She equally wanted to know what he would say and dreaded hearing it.

He left her to stew on the possibilities for a while before he finally spoke. “I don’t expect you to tell me everything, Felicity, but as the Red Valley Alpha, I need to know if you are a danger to my pack.”

Flic snapped her head to him, a flash of anger on her expression before it dissolved into a frown. “Of course I'm not.” She hated that he could even suspect that, even if she had lied to him to kept parts of herself hidden. She looked down, her voice lowering. “Everything I do is to help the pack. I’d leave before putting my home in danger.”

“Good.” Damon grunted and fell quiet again.

The silence swallowed the space between them, creating an itch across her skin that made her lips twist. This was another moment, he was creating another chance for her to talk to him, and she clenched her fists, steeling her determination. She wanted the churning in her stomach to stop. She wanted to share her happiness and pride in her work. She wanted someone to know.

“Your father knows everything. He wouldn’t have granted me and dad asylum if we were trouble.” It wasn’t much but, after thirteen years of secrecy, it was an opening that could lead to the truth.

“I thought as much.” Damon rested on his elbows, his chin on his hands, as he gave her his undivided attention. Her raised eyebrows making him continue. “You and your dad seem very familiar with my father, more so than other wolves. I’ve seen you both talking to him but never known what it was about. Though, he doesn’t like you.” It was a statement and she almost scoffed, the feeling was mutual. Damon eyed her, his tone softer now. “I’m not my father, Felicity. I can see the uncertainty in your eyes when you lie to me, like you don’t want to. You don’t have to hide from me.”

It was like he was reading her every doubt and putting them to rest. A heat crept into her cheeks accompanied by an awkward squirm in her stomach as she grappled for her next words. Her truth was on the tip of her tongue, and she wanted to let go and tell him everything. She teetered on the edge of wondering if Damon knowing would be a relief or terrifying, but all she needed was a little push.

“If it has something to do with your visit to the hospital the other day, I already have a good idea.” Damon sighed, folding his arms.

“Who told you?” She snapped, eyes wide.

“No one.” There was a gleam of amusement in his eyes, but Flic couldn’t bring herself to reflect the same light-hearted look back. Her throat dried, her tongue thickening in her mouth, and she could feel the pulsing of her heart through her chest, echoing in every rib as she watched him, waiting to see any sigh of contempt. “I know what goes on in my pack, Felicity, and yet there are occasional blind spots that draw my attention. Supplies appearing from nowhere or a miraculous recovery in the hospital...” He trailed off, the puzzle pieces slowly drawing closer. Her breath became shallow, and she knew this was the time. “This was the first time any odd occurrences lined up with someone’s behaviour. You disappeared the evening that young pup suddenly pulled out of his fever and only had a poor excuse to cover your tracks.”

Damon’s eyes were fixed to her, but she couldn’t see any judgement or malice within them. Instead, they were open, inviting her to admit the truth that he already knew. Flic stayed silent, trapped in his gaze and unable to look away, like a rabbit stuck in the headlights of an oncoming car.

“Whoever helped that young boy has my thanks, not my scorn.” The Alpha spoke slowly, like he was trying to stop her from bolting. “Was it you?”

“Yes.” The word whispered from her lips and her eyes dropped to the table, not baring to see his reaction.

“You’re a spiritual wolf.” He spoke without question, so Flic didn’t respond. She flinched as a hand suddenly scooped her cheek in an embrace and coaxed her gaze up to the Alpha. “Thank you for helping him.” Sincerity sung in those crimson eyes, and she frowned at the absence of any suspicion. How could he not share the same view of spiritual wolves as his father? Even after she had hidden it from him for many years. She swallowed the lump in her throat, expecting the look to change any moment. That change never came and Damon cajoled her to say something. “Will you tell me about your work in the pack?”

“What do you want to know?” She croaked out, trying to not avert her eyes. He was seeing a part of her that she hadn’t shown anyone except her father, and begrudgingly Alpha Neil. It was uncomfortable and she wringed her fingers together in her lap.

“What do you do for us?”

“I make items for the hospital every couple of weeks and whatever Alpha Neil requests. Occasionally, I help in other urgent matters.” She kept it vague, not wanting to bare every part of herself to the man she knew virtually nothing about.

“What do you get in return?”

“A home.” She shrugged. It didn’t sound like much but when they were on the run and needing somewhere safe to hide, Red Valley had been their saviour and she couldn’t forget that kindness.

“Do you think I would kick you out of the pack if you didn’t do this extra work?” Damon’s eyebrows raised, taking his turn to look offended.

Flic bit her lip. She knew it wasn’t technically possible for him to do that even if he wanted to, after all she wasn’t officially a pack member, but that wasn’t something she had to share. Not yet. Not when she was already feeling an overwhelming burn of discomfort at being lain so bare. She wanted to steer the conversation away now that the truth was out there. “No” She sighed.

The Alpha’s eyes narrowed on her. “My father isn’t forcing you to do all this work, is he?” Flic shook her head, squirming under his gaze. Damon’s eyed widened. “He didn’t force you to sign our agreement, did he?”

Flic hesitated for a second too long and his fist slammed into the tabletop, drawing some gazes of nearby humans. The force of it vibrated through the wood and made her jump but she was quick to try and calm him. She placed a hand over the clenched fist and gathered her answer. Yes, he had technically threatened her a little bit, but she didn’t think he would have actually done anything, and anyway, it had been her dad to point out the benefits of the agreement, not Alpha Neil. He was the reason she said yes. Well, most of the reason.

“Your father wasn’t kind about it, but he didn’t force me to sign. He would never be able to force me to do anything.” Her words had a hard edge to them, a confidence that swelled in her chest. She might not look like much, but she was strong and held a power that thrummed in her veins that no ordinary wolf would be able to challenge.

Damon huffed at her response but didn’t pull away from her touch. In fact, his hand softened beneath hers, drawing her attention. They weren’t quite holding hands, but the comfort felt intimate and warmed her, easing her anxieties as she finally realised that maybe he was okay with this. With her.

“I assume you do all your extra work in the bakery?” Flic nodded. “You can do it in the packhouse from now on. In our apartment.” Flic nodded again, surprised to feel her stomach flutter at something so small as recognising their shared space. “Let’s head back and get you set up. I want to see you work.”

She dipped her head in a smile as the Alpha stood. She gathered her bags and stood next to him, casting him one last glance to reassure herself that he was truly okay with what she had told him. Damon looked as he ever did, like a leader who had the strength to carry the weight of many on his shoulders, and he had just taken some weight from her own. In that moment she held him in an admiration and felt a rosy hue colour her cheeks as he gave her a smile. It wasn’t playful or smug, but held a genuine warmth, and she somehow felt closer to him than ever before.