Learning to Love the Spinster

Chapter 3

Philipa had no clue as to how long she sat their crying, but a man’s distant shout of laughter pulled her back to the present. Good Lord she was still half naked! She had to get dressed and leave this place before the unveiling. Simon could not under any circumstances find out who she was.

Philipa hurried with her corset and dress, she dressed herself as best she could without a maid and headed out of the greenhouse. Philipa went to the front of the house, and donned a hack. She fought tears the whole way, the driver must think she was some sore of crazy person. Philipa no more gave the driver directions before she started sobbing.

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Simon stood by the refreshment table waiting for the woman to show. Since he left, he had not been able to do anything but think of her, and her warm giving body. He thought of her tight sheath, and started to harden. Damnation, he lost thousands of pounds when he foolishly thought a game of cards would rid his thoughts of her. His closest friend Jack, Duke of York, came up to him.

“Have you seen Philipa tonight? I can’t find her and she’s supposed to be here” Simon thought of his friends sister. Simon liked Philipa well enough, but truth be told she wasn’t the type of woman that drew a man’s gaze, man he was still such a bastard.

“No I haven’t seen her at all tonight.” Simon quickly thought of his childhood friend, and how she had changed. Philipa was a beautiful child; unfortunately she grew less beautiful every year. Flip had completely forgettable features, though her body was a total different story. Flip had lush breasts, and wide flaring hips that made a man think of what it would be like to bed her. Simon was no different, but he had no feelings other than as a brother when he thought of her.

Simon’s father had wanted to make a contract for marriage when Philipa was born, to tie their families together. However, the Duke of York didn’t want to do that to his daughter, he wanted her to marry for love as he and his wife had. Simon knew that she would never marry for love, given her looks. It was a real shame, she was a sweet, caring, generous woman but no one took the time to see it. The men only saw her money or her plain features.

Simon shook himself out of his musing and looked around for the woman that had been in his thoughts all night.

“Who are you looking for?” Jack asked him.

“No one,” he replied looking around Jack’s shoulder. Jack laughed at his friends anxiety.

“Shut up Turner,” his anger further amused his friend. When Jack finally stopped laughing he said,

“Fine you aren’t looking for anyone, but in your looking if you see Flip please send her my way.”

“Yeah sure,” Simon replied distractedly, and looked to the clock. Damn, it’s only ten minutes to the unveiling where is she?

Simon watched as Lord and Lady Hampton came to the center of the ballroom. Simon kept looking for his woman, while everyone said they need to find a partner. Simon has several women ask him, in which he politely declined. Then the countdown began, he swore he couldn’t believe she wasn’t here. He was at the refreshment table, which is exactly where they had met only four hours ago. He looked around wildly, expecting her to pop out at any moment and finally he heard the count down. Simon saw her nowhere, and finally the countdown ended and everyone took their masks off. Simon tore his mask off in anger and threw it to the ground in anger.

Simon heard everyone laugh and titter about who they had chosen for the unveiling, though Simon turned a deaf ear. He was seething inside, had some one accosted her? Had some one made a better offer? Simon, wasn’t about to give up that easy, Simon went to the coat room attendant to see if he saw his mysterious woman.

“No your grace, I haven’t seen anyone matching your description,” the attendant replied. Simon cursed soundly, causing the attendant to back away from him.

“Forgive me.” Simon turned and stalked out of the townhouse, not bothering to have his carriage brought around. Simon stalked his way home in the cold night air, in hopes to tamper down his lust for the delectable woman who he hoped would be sharing his bed again this night.

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Simon awoke feeling as if the whole cavalry stomped on his head. He rolled over onto his stomach so the incoming light would not give him a bigger headache. Simon got home last night, and drank a whole bottle of brandy, before he started to feel marginally better. Simon had thought of some magical scheme to find her, which he wholeheartedly wished that he could remember. Simon sat and contemplated his bad luck at losing his future mistress. Simon turned from his head further into the pillow, hoping he would be left alone by his valet for another hour sleep.

Simon had no idea how to find her. Hell he didn’t even know her first name let alone her last. Simon thought a visit with Jack would make him feel better, and give him an idea on how to find his mistress. That and he needed to discuss the issues with the estate.

“That’s not a bad idea,” Simon thought out loud.

“What’s not a bad idea your grace?” His valet Davis said coming into the room and threw the curtains back. Simon groaned against the loudness of Davis’ voice, thankfully Simon didn’t get the full impact of the morning sun as his head was buried in the pillows. However, Simon got enough that he grabbed his head in agony.

“Go away Davis,” Simon said in a low voice.

“Are you sick your grace?” Davis asked, not lowering his voice any.

“I have a hell of a hangover so if you please leave me be?” As an afterthought he added, “And close those dame drapes.” Simon could hear the smile in his voice when he replied with,

“Yes your grace.” Davis closed the drapes and left his bed chamber. Simon put a pillow on his head to block out the sun and his servants voices coming from below. Simon mercifully fell back asleep planning to do everything when he awoke a seconding time, hoping he wouldn’t have this disastrous headache.

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Philipa finally roused herself out of bed at after one. While she normally rose at ten in the morning, she couldn’t face reality yet. Philipa still didn’t want to face reality, the fact that she gave her virginity to her best childhood friend, and he didn’t even know who she was. Philipa didn’t want to think of her future, all she wanted to do was stay in bed forever. She was considering making up an illness, but she knew her maid Anna would see right through her pretense. Then Anna would demand to know why she would be pretending she was sick.

Philipa was walking around her home aimlessly when she heard Simon’s voice. Philipa froze by the door, and listened to the conversation Simon was having with her brother.

“Damn it Jack I have to find her.” Philipa’s heart stopped for a moment, then sped up, he remembered her after all!

“Calm down, one woman in your bed is the same as any other woman,” Jack replied. Philipa was confused, why Simon would blurt out that they had been intimate together. While Jack loved to tease her, he would never be fine about what happened between her and Simon last night.

“No this woman was totally different, so damn giving, passionate; everything I am looking for in a mistress.”

If Philipa hadn’t been holding onto the wall she would have fell over, her knees buckled and she sagged against the wall. Simon thought she was a woman of the night! He thought she went there looking for a protector! She cried out at the agony and humiliation. Philipa heard the sudden silence and realized the men stopped talking. Philipa, afraid that they would know she listened gathered her strength and ran as fast as she could down the hallway.

The men looked out toward the hallway, saw no one, and continued on with their conversation.

“Come on Stoneville one w***e is as good as any,” Jack said as he looked at his friend.

“No this one was different, I need to find her.”

“Did she give you any clues as to who she was?”

“No, none whatsoever…Now that I think about it, she must be a widow.”

“Why is that?” Turner asked him. Simon remembered her untutored responses to his touch, and his c**k twitched at the memory.

“She wasn’t like the normal women I bed, her reactions were real, not practiced.”

“Huh…well I don’t know any widows that match your descriptions, you should ask my sister.” Simon’s brows pulled together in confusion,

“How would talking to Philipa help me?”

“Flip’s has been in society for six years now, she probably knows everyone.” Jack replied.

“You got a point there, where is she?” Simon asked while he took a drink of brandy

“Do I look like her keeper? I have no idea where she is, ask the servants.” Jack glared at Simon, and Simon glared right back. Simon sipped the last of his brandy and went in search of Philipa.

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Philipa was sitting at the dining table, staring blankly at the wall. What was she going to do with her life? Philipa knew, even before last night that it would be highly unlikely that she would ever marry and live a normal life. However, Philipa wanted one last season to see if she could find a man that would look past her wealth, her plainness, and simply want to be with her. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she realized she would never get married or have children. Her chances were slim before, but as a Duke’s daughter she knew the importance of remaining a virgin until marriage.

“What do I do now?” She thought forlornly.

“Well as you are in the dining room with your breakfast in front of you, I’d suggest you eat.” Philipa started, she hurriedly wiped her tears away, and her heart about exploded out of her chest when he sat opposite her. “What’s wrong?” he asked, with concern in his voice. She almost hated him in that moment, how could he be so oblivious to her. Simon stared at her with brotherly concern, and she wanted to throw her plate at him.

“I’m a little sad.”

“Why ever for?” Simon asked her

“I will miss London a great deal,” Philipa said, making up her mind that she needed to be out of London, away from Simon’s brotherly regard. Simon’s eyebrows drew together in confusion,

“But the season has only just started, where are you going?” Simon asked.

“I’m going to York,” she replied tersely not wanting him to see her distress. Simon stared at her quizzically for a moment then his face cleared and said to her,

“Well I’m here because I have a question for you.”

“Very well, ask away,” Philipa said smoothly, but she braced herself for his question.

“I am looking for someone,”

“Someone?” She asked him, her heart foolishly leaping in anticipation.

“Yes a woman, I believe she is a widow.” Good God he was asking her if she knew herself!

“Why are you looking for a widow?” She quizzed him; Simon looked uncomfortable discussing this with her. He cleared his throat several times before replying.

“I was talking to a young widow last night at the Hamptons masquerade and she forgot something that I want to give back to her.”

‘I want my maidenhead back as well,’ she thought to herself. The big lummox he didn’t even realize what he had taken from her. That was her own fault, they both entered that greenhouse looking for completely different things. Flip was looking for love while Simon was looking for a mistress.

“What is it that you have of hers?” She asked, putting him on the spot.

“Um, she dropped a…parasol.” Simpn started to squirm uncomfortably.

“Why on earth was she carrying a parasol at night?” If this had been another situation she would have laughed at the panic on his face, but it wasn’t a different situation Simon was trying to locate her to be his mistress, she didn’t think it could get any worse. “Well?” she asked when he simply continued to sit there.

“Well her husband’s death was hard on her; she hasn’t been acting like herself.” Philipa wanted to laugh at Simon’s response, but she held it in.

“No I am sorry Simon; I don’t know any widow that carries around a parasol at night.” Simon looked upset, but he quickly masked it.

“It’s okay Flip, have fun in York, I will miss you.” She smiled as he stood up and left the dining room.

“I will miss you too your grace.” She whispered to herself, and for a moment she imagined herself as Simon’s wife, to enjoy all the pleasures of the marriage bed and several children to come. Philipa looked down to see the tear fall onto her hand, at the sight of the lone tear Philipa stopped withholding her tears.

Philipa knew it was useless to cry, but she couldn’t help but feel the pain of loss, the loss of something she never truly had and will never have. Philipa indulged herself in self-pity for a few moments more before she wiped her eyes and went in search of her maid so she could pack and leave London for good.