Chapter 1
Astraia's POV
Matthew 11:28
"Come to me with,
all of you who are weary
and burdened, and
I will give you rest."
I smiled upon reading the bible verse of the day. All of us who feels afraid should come to him and he will give us the rest we deserve.
"Sister Aya, salamat naman at nandito ka. Hinahanap ka ni Sister Terese may sasabihin ata sa iyo."
Ngumiti ako at mahinhin na tumango.
"Ganoon ba? Sige ako ay pupunta na kay Sister. Have a blessed Monday," Sagot ko rito.
Masaya akong pumanik sa itaas upang puntahan ang nakakataas na madre. Yumuyuko ako sa mga madreng nadadaanan ko bilang respeto. This is what it feels having the grace of God.
Kumatok ako bago pumasok.
"Pasok,"
I sighed at saka ngumiti at pumasok. Naabutan ko si Sister Terese na nag-aantay sa akin.
"Pinatawag n’yo raw po ako, Sister." Nakayuko kong pahayag.
"Napakabait mong bata, Sister Aya. Nais ko sanang ikaw ang ipadala sa gaganapin na charity event sa bayan," Mahinhin na wika nito.
Nakangiti akong tumango. Charity events are my things.
"Talaga po? Ako po ay maaasahan n’yo pagdating sa ganyang bagay. Kailan po ba ang nasabing event?" Magalang kong tanong.
Inabot nito sa akin ang imbitasyon.
"Sa darating na miyerkules na, Sister."
Tumango ako. "Ako na po ang bahala sa lahat. Ako po ay lilisan na,"
"Sige, alam kong marami ka pang dapat gawin." Pahayag nito sa akin.
Sa huling pagkakataon ay sinulyapan ko ang matanda bago tuluyang lumisan. Dali-dali akong bumalik sa aking kwarto bago ito i-locked.
Napaupo ako sa kama at mabilis na tinanggal ang aking uniporme. Tiniklop ko itong mabuti at saka kinuha ang isang black jeans sa kahon. Kumuha rin ako ng isang itim na top at leather jacket. I also get my boots and my gun. I put a mask in my face at nilugay ko ang mahaba kong buhok.
Perfect.
Everything is set.
Maingat kong binuksan ang bintana. Madilim na sa labas kaya malaya akong makakalabas, but still, I need to be careful. Magaan na tinalon ko ang puno na ‘di kalayuan sa kwarto ko. This tree is always my shortcut pababa.
Yes, it's tall but let me tell you a secret. Don't look down if you are in a high place, just go with the flow until you land in the floor.
I smiled when I perfectly landed on the floor. Sinuot ko ang cap na gagamitin ko at pumasok sa lihim na parte ng kumbento.
I smirk when I saw my Ducati. I missed my baby. Mabilis akong sumakay rito at pinaharurot ang sasakyan. In just a minute ay mabilis kong natunton ang aking paroroonan.
I examined the place, puno ng bantay ang mansion. Tsk, what a coward. I get my gun on my back and put a silencer to it. Kinuha ko rin ang earpods ko at kinabit sa magkabilang tenga ko.
Killing with music is my thing.
I smirk, let's send someone to hell.
Let's rock and roll, baby.
One more drink and one more Bacardi
One more dance at this afterparty
We still going, going strong
Speed so fast, like a Ferrari
We get wilder, like on safari
We still going, going strong
Lumabas ako sa pinagtataguan ko at mabilis na pinagbabaril ang bawat tauhan na nakikita ko. I didn't give them a chance to get a gun, because if I did there's a chance that my mission will fail.
And there is no room with failure.
Mabilis kong sinunggaban ang isang lalaki na akmang magpapaputok. I punched him in the face at hinawakan ang ulo nito bago mabilis na paikutin.
And all of these good things, good things, good things
All we need, good things, good things, good things
Pinulot ko ang baril ko at nang sigurado na akong wala na ni isang tauhan ay naglakad na ko papasok. This mansion is secret kaya walang magtatangkang pumasok dito. It means malaya kong mapapatay ang target ko.
Tonight, we go all night long
We party like Post Malone
Don't tell me to go-oh-oh
Yeah, we are never ever going home
Tonight, ain't nobody kills my vibe
Don't tell me to go-oh-oh
Yeah, we are never ever going home (oh-oh-oh)
Yeah, we are never ever going home (oh-oh-oh)
Yeah, we are never ever going home (oh-oh-oh)
See the ocean there in your eyes
In slow motion, we see the sunrise
We are, we are in our zone
5 AM and we still are rolling
In the deepest of my emotions
We are, we are in our zone
Nakangisi akong naglakad paakyat. Dahan-dahan kong tinanggal ang mask sa mukha ko. I want him to see my beautiful face, because I am the last person he will see.
"Ahhhh, ohhhhh faster!"
"Yeah, slut, let me f*ck you!"
Aishhh, darn them! How dare them corrupt my ears. Inis na tinanggal ko ang earpods sa tenga ko at mabilis na sinipa ang pintuan.
"Ohhh, sino ka!"
What in the hell? My eyes! My poor eyes!
Sinamaan ko ito ng tingin at tinutok ang baril sa dalawa.
"W-who are you!"
I devilishly smiled.
"Disgusting. Hmm, mini mini." I said at huminto bago ko ilipat-lipat kung kanino naka tapat ang baril. "Sino kaya ang uunahin ko sa inyong dalawa?"
I chuckled when I saw their pale faces.
"M-maawa ka! Kung sino man ang nag-utos sayo do-doblehin ko! Wag mo lang kami patayin!"
"M-maawa po kayo! Wala po akong kasalanan!"
"Tsk, tsk do you think nabibili ang serbisyo ko? Huh, Senator?" I playfully asked.
"W-wag maawa ka samin!" Sabi nilang dalawa.
Tsk, they both naked and enjoying their little sexcaped. These kinds of people disgust me more than anything.
"Mercy? I don't have mercy when it comes to people like you, Senator." I coldly said.
I smiled sweetly nang mapansin ko ang paggalaw ng kamay nito na inaabot ang baril. Mabilis kong inangat ang kamay ko at binaril ito sa noo.
"Ahhhhhh!" Tili ng babae.
Napasimangot ako dahil sa tinis ng boses nito.
"Don't worry, darling. You can continue your s*x in hell," I wink before shooting her in the head.
Ah, what a waste.
Mabilis kong kinuha ang cellphone sa bulsa ko.
"Mission Accomplished."
I looked at the stars and closed my eyes.
I wish I'm just a normal person.
Until when, until when I need to pretend.
Hypocite, I'm a hypocrite.
I want to change but fate is not in my side. Inangat ko ang kamay ko na may hawak ng baril.
Gun is my friend.
I am the poisonous apple and I am a beast. I am the villain and the monster in every story. I am the innocent but has the darkest soul.
Tumawa ako ng pagak. If I can just run away and forget the world. If I can be just Sister Aya and not Astraia.
Welcome to my life.
Being a fake nun at day and an assassin at night.
Forgive me for I have sinned.
-----
"Have a blessed wednesday to all of you!" Nakangiti kong pahayag.
"Salamat, Sister."
"Oo nga po napakadami na pong naitulong ng kumbento sa amin."
Umiling ako.
"Tungkulin naming tumulong at magpalaganap ng salita ng diyos. Basta huwag lang po kayong mawawalan ng pag-asa. May awa ang Diyos,"
Tumango lamang ang mga ito at tinanggap na ang mga pagkain at pera.
"Tunay nga pong napakaganda ninyo pati ang kalooban n'yo,"
Kalooban?
How I wish!
"Salamat po." Mapagkumbaba kong sagot.
Mula kaninang umaga ay hindi ako tumigil sa pag-aabot ng mga pagkain sa mga tao. They're a victim of bagyong Yolanda. Tungkulin namin tumulong sa mga katulad nilang walang maaasahan.
"Sister Candice, magbabanyo lamang ako." Paalam ko.
"Sige, Sister, ako muna ang bahala rito,"
Tumango ako at mabilis na naglakad paalis. I was about to go to the restroom when someone held my hand.
I am ready to throw punches when I smell her familiar fragrance.
"Chill.”
Nanlaki ang mata ko at mabilis na lumingon.
"Adelaine!" I hissed quietly.
"What's up?" Ngisi nito.
Mabilis ko itong kinaladkad papunta sa bodega.
"Hey, hey!" Mahinang hiyaw nito.
"The f*ck are you doing here?" I asked furiously.
"Bawal ba ako rito?” She laughed.
Damn this b***h!
"Talk or I'm gonna use my skills for you to speak?" I warned.
Huminto naman ito agad at tinakpan ang bibig.
"Chill, Astraia. I never saw a nun swearing but hey it suits you!" Pang-aasar pa nito sa akin.
I rolled my eyes.
"Don't mind my business, Adelaine. I'm warning you," ani ko.
She sighed and looked at me seriously.
"Astraia, they want me to take you home."
Natigilan ako sa sinabi nito.
They want me to go home… already.
I still can't.
"You know I don't wanna go back," I whispered.
She looks at me with pain in her eyes. Adelaine is my bestfriend and my partner in crime. She knows why I'm doing this.
She knows na pinagbabayaran ko ang mga nagagawa kong kasalanan.
She knows all my pain ever since.
"But you know in the first place that you can't run… this is what we are. You can't escape the fact that we are a sinner." She said and that hits me in the face.
I smiled bitterly.
I know. I know I can't escape what I am. This is me, the real me... a sinner.
A beast, a killer.
"But I just want to escape even for a while. I just want to live like I'm not Astraia. I hate her, you know."
I stared at her mirroring the same pain she has for me. We both hate what we do but we have no choice but to live like this.
Once a sinner will always be a sinner.
Sa mga tao ang kriminal ay kriminal. For them we have no feelings, emotions. For them we don't have a chance to change because of our dark souls.
We are tainted.
I heard her sighed.
"Two days, just f*cking two days Astraia. You know what will happen if we try to disobey them." She said at tumalikod na.
I smiled bitterly at napaupo.
Of all people why it has to be me? I just want to live away from them. I can't accept the fact that I belong to that disgusting place. I closed my eyes at hinubad ang habit na kasuotan ng mga madre.
I need to unwind.
Itinali ko ang aking buhok at nagsuot ng mask. Lumabas na ako while wearing a black ripped jean and a white sando na suot-suot ko just in case. I also wear a mask para hindi ako nito makita. Paglabas ko ay nakita ko pa si Sister Candice na masayang kausap ang mga bata. Magulo pa ang isip ko and I need to think.
Sumakay ako sa bus without knowing kung saan ito patungo. I just want to go kung saan hindi nila ko makikita. Ngunit sino ang niloloko ko? I know they can find me wherever I go. Binagsak ko ang sarili ko sa pinakadulong upuan sa bus. Kinuha ko din ang aking cellphone and turned it off.
I sighed at ipinikit ang aking mata. All I want to do is to rest, just to have a peace of mind. Just to have a peaceful sleep, but damn those nightmares. Umandar na ang bus kaya tumingin na lamang ako sa bintana.
Kung saan man ako dadalhin ng kapalaran ay magpapaubaya na lamang ako. I'm so tired living like someone is chasing me. I'm so tired living like I'm just a prisoner. Matutulog na sana ko nang may sumigaw at naglabas ng baril.
"Walang gagalaw! Ilabas n'yo lahat ng gamit n'yo!"
Are you f*cking kidding me?
Nagtilian ang mga tao.
"Maawa po kayo!"
"Diyos ko po, may baril!"
"Parang awa n'yo na po!"
I rolled my eyes at kinuha ang earpods sa aking bulsa at sinalpak ko sa tenga ko. I'm not in a f*cking mood to be a saint today.
Not today, Satan.
Pumikit ako na para bang walang nangyayari.
Thought I found a way
Thought I found a way, out (found)
But you never go away (never go away)
So, I guess I gotta stay now
My life is really messed up, huh? Mukhang sinusundan ako ng malas, tsk. This world is full of sinners and wicked people. Kung mahina ka wala kang puwang sa mundo.
Oh, I hope some day I'll make it out of here
Even if it takes all night or a hundred years
Need a place to hide, but I can't find one near
Wanna feel alive, outside I can't fight my fear
Napatigil ako sa pag-iisip when I feel something cold in my head. Nagmulat ako ng mata only to see the holdaper holding his gun at nakatutok ito sa ulo ko.
Tinanggal ko ang isang earpods ko at tinaasan ito ng kilay. Inilibot ko ang paningin ko at ang mga tao ay umiiyak at naaawang nakatingin sa akin.
Are they f*cking serious, right now?
"The f*ck you want?" I coldy asked.
Sumama ang timpla ng mukha nito.
"Wag mo kong ma-english english! Ibigay mo sakin pera mo at cellphone!" Sigaw nito. "O baka naman gusto mo sumabog ulo mo?"
Isn't it lovely, all alone?
Heart made of glass, my mind of stone
Tear me to pieces, skin to bone
Hello, welcome home
Sinamaan ko ito ng tingin at sa isang iglap lang ay nakuha ko ang baril nito. Narinig ko pa ang pagsinghap ng mga tao. Gulat na tumingin ito sakin at napa-atras. Tumayo ako at itinaas ang baril.
"Ang baril ay hindi basta-basta itinututok sa maling tao," ani ko.
"S-sino ka ba!" Sigaw nito.
I smirked at itinutok dito ang baril.
"Do you wanna know who I am?" I asked.
Namutla ito at akmang tatakbo na sana nang hilahin ko ito pabalik.
"B-bitawan mo ko!" Wika nito at pilit nagpupumiglas.
People like him is like a villain wannabe. Ang taong katulad n'ya ay ‘yung mga taong gumagawa ng masama dahil sa pera. I can't find myself angry because I do understand how it feels.
"I will pero pag nakita pa kita na gumagawa ng ganito… I will make sure na ako mismo ang maghahatid sayo sa impyerno." I whispered. "Takbo, pag naabutan kita papatayin kita."
Binitawan ko ito at mabilis naman itong tumakbo.
"Tss, I’m just kidding." Pagtawa ko.
What a f*cking coward.
Maiyak-iyak ako sa katatawa at nang makahulma ay tumayo ako ng tuwid. Nakatingin sa akin ang mga tao na nakanganga. I looked at them emotionless at sinuot ang aking mask at naglakad pababa.
Umiling ako at naglakad sa gitna ng kawalan. It's good to lose myself because since the start, I already don't know where to go.
Walkin' out of town
Lookin' for a better place (lookin' for a better place)
Something's on my mind (mind)
Always in my head space
Song used: Post Malone by Sam Feldt.
Lovely by Billie Eilish and Khalid