Her princess

So nothing was co-incidence my heart racing when she used to come closer to me, me being jealous when she made other friends, me always sleeping next to her in girl's night, and me finding everything on her sexy everything had a reason. Now it feels like I was unknown of myself all those years, I just saw the new side of me and she was the reason. The phobia from which I was running far, that phobia has clenched me. What should I do? Should I accept my nature and flow with it against my family, this society, or should I go on faking my relation with my so-called boyfriend with whom I never felt the way she made me feel.

Now when she is in my arm naked from waist up, I can't help my hands to embrace her n*****s, I can't stop my tongue from licking every part of her body but what after that drink leaves my system, what if she wakes up sober and starts hating me?