Pillow Talks

I sighed putting the very last carton down. Moving to a new town is not only irritating but tiring too. I never really wanted to shift here but again I had no other choice. It was either Aunt Rosalie or my step-brother Samuel. And Aunt Rosalie made it very clear that she didn't want me with her, not that I wanted to live with her either. I didn't wanted to be here in a new city, if my mother hadn't made a legal decision. It is too obvious that none of us want each other here, we never really talked but the disliking for his father has somehow passed to him now. I never wanted an addition to the family, I was okay by myself but my mother needed a companion after my father's death. It wasn't easy for me to look at another man as my father when my whole childhood I lived with him, had amazing memories. His cooking, his silly jokes and his morals, everything was too hard to devote to somebody else. "You should take some rest, Elizabeth." I heard Samuel's voice. He stood there with his hands stuffed in his pockets. His usual hazel eyes were glowing. It was awkward to have him near me. It had always been awkward to have someone else with me. I swallowed and shook my head. "I-I am fine." I stuttered, my nervousness was on peak. Samuel rose his eyebrows but said nothing. He nodded his head towards the kitchen as he spoke. "There's an emergency surgery and I need to leave now. There's lunch kept on the dining table." He said with a polite smile. Polite smile, so damn formal. I nodded my head as I was busy playing with the hem of my shirt. He looked at me briefly for a moment before leaving me alone in the room he provided me.  The room was colored in blue with its one wall painted black. It had a clock hung on it. There was a single bed just beside the window with table and cabinet adjoined to it. The other side of the room was occupied by two bookshelves with many books. I walked closer to the shelves to find that both the bookshelves were bifurcated into many segments, some were novels, some were autobiographies and some were encyclopedias. The other corner of the bookshelves had many new diaries, notebooks, a new bag and many more stuffs for the school. A small smile formed on my face seeing so many books. I swallowed down the overwhelming feeling that formed deep down my gut. How did he know that I had the biggest fetish for books? We never really had a conversation for him to know my choices and favorites. There was a wardrobe near the door, it was empty and I was too tired to arrange my clothes in it. I wanted to sleep but since all the cartons were lying on my floors and beds, I couldn't and I was too tired to even unpack all my stuffs. I walked downstairs to the hall and lied down on the couch letting the sleep embrace me with open arms. Everything was burning down to ashes. The roof was on the edge of falling down. I could feel myself burning. Everything was just about to destroy. We all were going to die, painfully.  "Eli, get away from there." I heard my mother shout in panic. I looked at the direction of her voice, she was kneeling their, heavily breathing. Her eyes were wide, alarmed and scared, so scared and before I knew it, a piece of roof fell on my right arm making me scream in pain. The burning sensation was making me want to die.  Ethan, my step-father threw the piece away from my arm making me sigh in relief, but mother was stuck their, with no escape and death alluring us. She was so trapped amid the large flames of death. I kept screaming for help, holding my right arm in pain. The sound of roof cackling was heard and my heartbeat started to rise. I wanted to save her but one of the pillar blocked my way and before I knew it, Ethan jumped in the flames, he threw his burnt shirt away and shielded my mom from the roof that fell down. "Ethan! Mom!" I screamed and cried but I couldn't hear any voices, they were lying there, beneath the roof. "Answer me! Please be alive!" "Mom! Ethan!"  I woke up with a jolt, tearing running down my eyes and my breathing shallow. I rubbed my right arm subconsciously and flinched. I sat there shivering and crying, so scared. I could still feel the flames on my arms, roof falling over Ethan, my mom's cries. I gripped my head as it felt like it would explode. I ran towards the bathroom and turned the shower on. The cold water was helping me to calm down. It's been three months past the accident and it still feels like yesterday.  I lost my appetite after the nightmare, it was horrifying. I started to unpack all the cartons and arrange them accordingly. It was nearly ten p.m. I hope his surgery would have ended up successfully. It took me an hour and half to unpack. I walked downstairs and turned television on but my attention wasn't on it. The sound of it was just to fill the emptiness which I feared. I heard the door open and close before I saw Samuel walking in. His shirt was untidy and his eyes looked tired.  "How was the surgery?" I asked. His eyes shifted towards me and sighed. He sat on the chair front of me and nodded his head. "It was..... okay." I rose my eyebrow at me and he sighed again. "He is out of danger but there's a very high possibility for him to lose his memory." He explained as I nodded. He cared so much for his patients. "Oh." "Yes. You unpacked?"  "Yes, just an hour ago." He nodded his head as his eyes shifted towards the dining table and his eyes narrowed in process. "You didn't eat anything for lunch?" His voice suddenly grew more serious. Don't act like you care. We just met today, properly.  "No."  "And why is that?" Irritation started to surge inside me. It's not that hard to understand, is it? "I forgot." I mumbled and he scoffed. And this gained his full attention, his eyes were looking me, trying to read me and I avoided all type of eye contact with him.  "Is something bothering you?" He tried again. His voice was becoming tender, soft as if he was talking to a child and it irritated me even more. "No." I was keeping my answer as short and less informative as possible. Another sigh escaped from his mouth but he kept his calm, maybe he learnt it from his profession. "Is it about that night?" My eyes snapped at me, he looked taken back by sudden burst of emotion inside me. My whole body started to tremble, my palms started to sweat and it started to become too hard to breathe. His eyes alarmed at the panic attack that was about to happen. He rushed toward me but I flinched. He didn't had to remind me of the horrific night  when I lost my family. "Don't." I managed to choke out and he raised his hands in surrender and knelt beside me keeping a safe distance amid us. "I won't touch, just hear me out." He said slowly but I was too occupied.  "Elizabeth!" He suddenly yelled catching my attention and looked at me with soft eyes. "Hear me out, Eli. Just breath in and then breathe out. Slowly." He instructed firmly yet softly. So softly that it was nearly incoherent. "Breathe in." He ordered. Breathe in.  "Breathe out."  "Breathe in." "Breathe out." It took me more than fifteen minutes for me to calm down. I felt so drained out and so empty. Samuel looked worn out too, after all he had a surgery too. I swallowed the nauseous feeling that was dwelling inside my stomach. "Why don't you get some sleep, Samuel? You must be tired." I murmured and he shook his head in response. "I won't leave you alone in this condition, Eli." He said softly, as he if I'd break if he spoke too loudly. "Elizabeth. Call me, Elizabeth." He frowned but nodded his head at me. "I'll be back in a minute, Elizabeth. You'll be fine, right?" He asked softly, gently. I nodded my head, unable to trust my voice. He looked at me for a solid minute before leaving me alone. I closed my eyes and rested on the couch when I heard footstep echo in the hall. I looked at Samuel as he pulled out two pills with a glass of water and handed it to me. "They'll help to calm you down." He spoke after a while. I took the pills and a glass of water from his hand and swallowed the pills. It wasn't too belong before I fell in darkness. I slept peacefully that night, either it was the pills that worked magic on my messed up self, or I had enough for the day. In past three months, I slept only in bits, either for two hours or three. The nightmares were enough to scare me to not to sleep again. "Hey, wake up." I heard a soft voice trying  to pry my covers from me. I shifted to the other side of the bed only to land on the floor. I heard someone laughing and my eyes shot open at  the embarrassment. Samuel was dressed in a grey button up shirt and formal pants. His eyes were twinkling but a softness still present in them "Are you okay?" He asked softly. He wasn't questioning the pain of the fall but the fear of nights and nightmares. He didn't had to know about it.  "Peachy." I said with a nervous smile. His eyes narrowed at my pathetic lie but nodded. He looked so calm. "Why don't you get ready for the school while I prepare for our breakfast." My eyes widened at his words. How could I forget about the new school and new peoples. I clenched my eyes shut at the nervousness that seeped my veins. Samuel kept his hand softly on my shoulder with a reassuring smile. "It will be good, trust me." His words were so firm and promising that it had me nodding my head.