Protagonist Syndrome

It was on a rainy day. When the leaves from tree branches swayed violently, birds flew through the wind and everyone around me ran seeking for shelter. The sky portrayed a gloomy shade of grey, deepening with each passing second as it welcomes the coming storm. I’ve always dubbed myself as the kind of person who refused to let personal emotions get to me. But it was different now. Not far from where I stood, I had caught a glimpse of something I never thought I'd ever see. It was my boyfriend. With my best friend. At the sight, I felt something within me break, scattering pieces of my sanity and emotions around the place like a broken glass. A course of bitterness ran down my veins and I felt lethargic, no longer in tact with myself or reality. I remember how uncaring I was with the cold air that blew pass my skin, prickling through the veneer clothing like sharp needles spiked with the heat of lava. I was under the thinnest outfit that day, yet I didn't mind how drench I was quickly becoming. I was freezing and wet, but I couldn't feel it. For a minute, everything around me had stood still as I listened to the c***k of my heart over power the rattle of the rain and howl of the wind. I wanted to run away but my feet gave no heed to my demand. I wanted to step in and confront them, but I was suddenly too exhausted to do so. The girl adorned two mesmerizing brown eyes and a smile that causes them to crease up into two beautiful crescent moons, her lips red as cherry. I'd know because I've seen it way too many times myself. She's all over him. Just as much as he's all over her. How could she do this to me? How could they? It hurts because she knows how much I love him and yet, she betrays me like this. They looked so warm and in love, conversing and laughing with a cup of bubble tea in their hands. Thinking about it now, I can't help but wonder what I did wrong. I'm not clingy or annoying. Nor do I demand that he shower me with love. Even if I'm not wrong, I always initiate the first apology. Where exactly did it start going downhill? I don’t know. I can’t recall. Then again, I had been noticing some signals flashing back and forth the last two months we were still together. Like how he had barely ever texted or called me anymore. I chose to ignore it thinking he was just busy and would get back to me once he had time. Turns out. He was indeed busy. Busy making another girl smile. With all the strength I could muster up, I eventually forced myself to look away and run without looking back. I had to get out of there before I end up doing something I’ll come to regret later on. Or worst. Embarrass myself. As expected after what I experienced, I had caught an awful cold the next sunrise. Runny pink nose, sore back and a lot of headaches. Last night, I decided to keep it all from mom and dad since having them put their concern on me would just be a waste of time after all. Tissues filled the bin sitting beside my bed to the brink and the memory of yesterday only adds up to the trash mounting up in my head. I let out a dry groan, shifting my aching to face the side and close my heavy eye lids. If I sleep now, I'll at least enter a place I no longer have to remember. Temporary peace of mind from this harsh reality. That's right. I need to sleep. So that I can quickly get better and work on moving on from that person. Mom and dad allowed Jia, one of my siblings, to stay behind after practically taking over the breakfast table with her whining. The countless reasons that rolled off her lips this morning made her look like a sewing machine that’s been beaten with no mercy. Somewhere in the lines she mentioned how I might die if I stayed home on my own. But we all know that, that's not the main reason. Jia's lazy as heck when it comes to studying and both mom and dad knew that. It surprises us all the time whenever exams over and she’s somehow managed to pass with an adequate score. I’m not exactly sure how she does it. I place my bet she secretly studies when no ones looking or just simply copies from one of her smart friends. As opposed to me, Jia has a lean figure, two enticing big eyes , long wavy black hair that’s as soft as silk and a personality that can intimidate but at the same time resembles a siren just by just a single glance. Jia's alluring, enticing, attractive but unfortunately doesn't posses the smart gene. She's the type of girl who's often mistaken as the kind to meddle a lot with boys. But jokes on them. She has way too many boyfriends to even spare them a glance. Fictional boyfriends that is. I chose to keep the news from my parents but it's a different story when it comes to my sister. When I told her all about seeing my ex boyfriend and best friend together yesterday, she flipped and nearly ran out of the house to confront him. Typical of her. If she knows someone hurts a person she cares for, she won't think twice and beat the living hell out of anyone. It happened multiple times back when we were in fifth grade. And she didn’t stop either until last year. This one kid was sent to the hospital because he pushed a close friends down the stairs. He wasn’t really hurt. Just a broken arm and a few bruises on his face. I’m only saying it that way because I’ve seen worse. She never really liked him to begin with, relentlessly asked what it was exactly that I saw in him despite knowing the reason why. I’ve always had a crush on him for three years already but was too shy to tell him. So you can only imagine how thrilled I was when he asked me out all of a sudden. I shake my head, dispelling the thought. Just as soon as mom and dad left for work with Kelan, our five year old brother, Jia steps into our shared room with a huge Cheshire grin on her face. Somehow I have a bad feeling about this. When she smiles like that, everyone knows she's up to no good. She makes her way into my side of the bedroom, hiding something behind her back. Her hair’s pulled up today and she has her Harry Potter glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose. Which she pushes up with her slender finger. "Guess what. Guess what." "You passed your math quiz with a perfect score." The bright smile from seconds ago dissipates in a blink of an eye from her face. She scoffs, plopping on the edge of my bed stomach first like a poodle bred puppy. The blanket creases under her weight as she flickers her hair to the side before extending her hand. "You wish. Anyway, I brought you this." A book with pages as thick as six magazines piled up together. The cover's a shade of blue with a golden rose encrusted on to it and silver lining to create the title of the book. I stare at it for a good five seconds before lifting an eyebrow at her. I'm not surprised though. Because her side of the bedroom's literally filled with nothing but romance novels spurring from the baskets under her bed to her desk that’s at least two times bigger than mine as well as the gaps between the shelves. This girl can own a book store with how much she has right now. Sometimes when I'm lucky, I find them mixed with my own school books if not in my backpack which eventually leads to a whole lecture coming from me. All those times when she should be studying, you'll find her sticking her nose in one of them. "What am I suppose to do with that?" "I just finished reading it so it's your turn. You're staying in bed anyway. Might as well keep that Einstein head of yours running or else you might turn out more dumber than I am." I'm not sure how she's able to say such nonsense with a convincing face. If it were anyone, there's no thinking twice they'd fall for the preposterous statement. "I'm not reading that." She whines. "Oh come on. It's not half that bad. It walks through a character named Jia and she ends up between the school's famous boys' love square. It’s entertaining, unlike your biology books or whatever they’re called and the descriptions fine as heck.“ I feel another headache coming up. Did she say love square? School famous boys? If she wants me to read a book, at least consider my situation first before shoving me texts that talks about love. It's not one boy that falls in love. But four. "Gives me the more reason why I shouldn't." I tie my hair up and attempt to lay back down to rest peacefully. Keyword: attempt. Jia purses her lips forward into a pout, gripping the edge of my blanket before yanking it off me. A groan of complain erupts from my throat as I glare at her through exhausted eyes. "No. No. No. Gives you the more reason why you should read it. Just read it. Give it a chance. You'll love it." " No." "Yes." "No." "Yes." "Jia." "Just try it. And if you really don't like it, I'll stop pestering you.” Her eyes’ flaring with determination as she says that. At this point, going against her will be pointless to the end. I grit my teeth considering defeat. This girl. If I had to name one thing I hated about her is the way she always manages to let anyone agree to her bidding. She's too persistent and not to mention annoying at times. "Fine." I growl. If you can't beat them, then accept defeat and get it over with. "Now let me rest first." "You won't regret it." I wonder how many times she's said that already. I ended up reading the book after I had woken from my three hour sleep. The soreness from this morning had already dispersed and I'm feeling a bit okay right now. The Thorns And The Rose. Honestly, I expected the setting to take place in the past judging by the title having an urban vibe to it. I was wrong. The story revolves around a girl named Jia- who lives in the twenty first century- as she tries to get through her first year of senior high school. Character wise, she's hard working, quiet and smart - one of the aspects that becomes a trigger for envy amongst her peers. Later on, she becomes the main target for bullies which will eventually lead someone from the famous A4 to notice her. Apparently, A4 is a group that consist of four people who’s family name’s ranked high in society. And since their parents have taken over the business industry, they’ve been naturally placed as the ‘leader' of the school. I suppose A stands for Amazing 'Skin as pale as Ice and hair red as blood, Arlo Miller reaches out a helping hand with a gentle smile on his face....' Some part in the book Arlo ends up telling a friend how Jia's timidness and uncaring behavior was what attracted him to her. The way she hardly ever blinks their way when they pass by or how unaffected she is to their presence. Those were the kind of things he took notice of. He saw it as a relief that something out of the norms had finally happened. He thought of Jia as a Larkspur flower that sprouted regardless of it's environment. Even when the screams of multiple girls surrounded him, she stood out the most like a flower in a meadow. The first chapter made me eventually loose track of time and immersed myself to the tale I know is packed with unlikely events. Jia and Arlo encounter many scenes where it was just too cliche for me to handle but the book in general had some scenarios that made no sense at all. Like the part where the female lead Jia suddenly trips over thin air and right in front of A4. I read through that paragraph and the one before it just to make sure I hadn't accidentally missed something. If her shoe lace were loose for instance. Or perhaps a bulging tile? Because tripping over nothing isn't normal. But then I reminded myself that this is nothing but a fictional book and that anything can happen if the author see fit. How Jia manages to get hyped up so much over this type of things? Amazes me. Aside from the over used plot lines, if I had to choose, I'd pick Leyk Novak as my favored character out of the four male leads. Leyk Novak's family runs a very famous business somewhere in the southern boarder of the country. It is however, not limited to that location since they have multiple branches soaring all over Asia. Leyk's skilled in the line of business and is bound to become the next head of his father's companies. Unlike Arlo, who always appears calm and collected during and tries to see the positive in everything even during difficult situations, Leyk is more attentive to the emotions and circumstances around him and bases off of them. He's serious when he has to be, shows a smile only when it's needed- which doesn't happen so often- and not to mention the brains amongst all four of them. He approaches a problem with logic and gives no room for error. He comes to secretly adore Jia a while later during a school field trip. Second would probably be Seven Cole. Brown hair, tall, athletic, jumpy and the chief executive officer of making stupid decisions. The reason why he's my second favorite is not because he's likeable. If anything, Seven's as annoying as Jia when she's whining over something. Plus two. It's more on the hidden personality and a lot of back story attraction. Although he has that aspect that made me put up way too many expressions in one sitting, Seven has a softer, sweet, calm side to him that he doesn't often show. As I continue to read through the book, I later found out that his mother died when he was just six years old. His father then fell under the influence of alcohol, which led to neglecting his family for five years. As the eldest of three siblings, he chose to hide his depression and become strong for all of them. And thanks to his positive attitude throughout the years, Seven's father realized what he was doing and apologized deeply. It didn't take long before he was once again up on his feet to resume his spot as the head of the company and the loving father to his children. I won't deny I was moved by that. The reason Seven's the way he is had now made sense. Granted that he's excessively loud on the outside, he's still broken on the inside that it's almost pitiful. There are times in the chapters where he's found spacing off into the blue only to put up a fake font when approached. In the long run, one of Seven's younger brother gets involved in a bad car crash. His mother died due to the same reason. So seeing the state of his brother lay limp on that hospital bed surfaced what he had been feeling when he lost his mother. Unlike before, when he had no one to turn to, this time Jia came for his comfort. And the was the first time Seven ever let his guard down, finally pouring out his pent up emotions. Arlo comes in third for his love of music and taekwondo skills. The kind of guy who's sweet and kind to anyone. Girls refer him as the sugar of the group because he's apparently 'very sweet'. Which is a given. The author really made him a considerate person. A part of a charity campaign. Loves kids, aids in supporting orphanages during the weekend when he isn’t busy and so much more. He's also the first to approach the female lead, Jia, marking it the start of everything. And last but not least. Rehan King. The typical bad boy of Kis University. The opposite version of Arlo. Need I say more? Just as I’m halfway done with the last remaining chapters, I decide to call it a night and set the book to my side. Thanks to my sister Jia's persisting attitude, I was able to get distracted from the memory of my cheating ex boyfriend and sickness. It's already dark outside and raining. I’ve been in my room all day and was strictly told to stay in bed by my mother and father. It hasn’t been long since Jia carried Kelan back to his room after I’ve read him his bed time story since she was too busy organizing her books in the other side of the room. I’ve concluded I’ve done a lot of reading today and for the first time, they weren’t books for school. I divert my attention towards the window stained with droplets prompting a chill to run down my spine like a snake. Growing up, I used to love the rain. There was just something about it that made me feel satisfied and relaxed. Who knew I’d lose something that gave me the feeling of being whole with just a simple glance? After that day, I can no longer see the beauty in it. Instead, an ugly reminder surfaces of how the person I loved had smiled and held hands with another girl. I hate it now. The book Jia gave me was just a temporary escape from reality. And it's not that bad.