Magic, Myth and Mysteries

A Seriously Bad Trip, Chapter Two - Emily Conover

While Christophe was in a trance, Tas, walked the rest of the way down the hall to the ballroom, debating how best to approach the situation. He checked his forearm for the details on his target. His tattoo, which had always possessed a degree of sentiency that worked in conjunction with his own, had become even more helpful after Tas had licked the blood off the hand of his uncle’s future wife. Evie’s powers had supercharged his own in ways both pleasing and disconcerting. Now his tattoo morphed into the message his aunt Nemesis had sent him when she requested his assistance.

“Ronald Cochran, aka Blur. Former professional basketball player, now broadcaster, and monumental scumbag. Tried and convicted in absentia by the goddess Dike for the following crimes: domestic abuse (ten counts), s****l assault (twenty counts), supporting human trafficking (five counts), hit and run DUI, providing the cocaine at a party that killed two people, bribery (sixty-seven counts), point shaving (3 counts), insider trading (3 counts), and perjury (2 counts).”

Tas knew he would recognize Ronald Cochran. He’d been endorsing a political candidate who was running on a traditional family values platform, and the commercial was on constant repeat. His white blonde hair was distinctive. Tas wasn’t a television watcher himself, but they were always on somewhere, wherever he went, so he’d seen it.

His aunt, Fraus, must have alerted her sister to this rank hypocrisy. Fraus preferred to be the one defrauding the public, but over time had developed her own moral code that made her one of Nemesis’s most trusted lieutenants. Fraus rarely took an active hand in punishing the corrupt, preferring to nudge other daimones, gods, and goddesses in the right directions.

There were times, however, that Fraus used her powers of deception for the greater good, instead of as a way to amuse herself. Tonight was one of those times. Tas would prefer to throw everyone in the entire room into a hallucinatory fit, but Sis had insisted that only Ron was to be punished. He cracked his knuckles and neck in anticipation and then shook himself all over like a dog.

“It’s showtime,” he declared as he kicked the doors open and strutted into the room. Such a shame this dramatic entrance would only be enjoyed by one loser who, by the time his visit with Tas was over, wouldn’t be in the position to describe it.

“Who the f**k is that?” he heard Ron ask as he jumped onto the nearest table and snagged a woman’s wine glass. The guests were all resplendent in their couture, jewels, and tailored tuxedos. Tas itched to mess with these people who expected lavish praise for donating money to help others.

Instead, he drained the wine and threw the glass against the wall while Ron’s date asked him what he was talking about. Tas licked his lips in an exaggerated manner before jumping to the next table.

“That, that lunatic on the other table!” Ron was on the verge of yelling.

Ron’s date looked in the direction that Ron was pointing, but didn’t see anything. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, bewildered. Tas smirked at Ron and began gyrating after jumping to the table closest to theirs.

“Are you blind as well as stupid, Cindy?” Ron snarled.

Cindy stood up and threw her napkin down. “Go to hell, Ron,” she spat before leaving the room. Tas blew a kiss to her retreating form. By now the rest of the room had noticed that Ron was upset and all other conversation had ceased.

“You okay, Ron?” asked his manager.

“No, I’m not okay, there’s a leather clad fairy dancing on the tables and no one else is even reacting!”

“Fairy? Tas scoffed. “Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie. I’m a god, not one of the Fae. Get it together.”

“A god? Sure, whatever, freakazoid. Whatever you are, you don’t belong here.” Ron stormed over towards Tas and grabbed his arm, confident that he could overpower the shorter man. Tas rotated his arm and grasped Ron around his bicep. Ron vibrated where he stood as Tas laughed, showing off his fangs.

His tattoo, which had returned to the form of two snakes after replaying Nemesis’s message, now transformed into dozens of real snakes that no one else could see. They slithered off his arm and twined around Ron’s.

“What the f**k? Get them off me! Jesus f*****g Christ! Don’t just sit there! Help!” Ron thrashed himself loose of Tas’s hold and fell to his knees. Two of the snakes grew bigger and they twined themselves around Ron in such a way that his wrists were bound to his ankles. Then they transformed into naval grade hemp rope.

“Ron? Ron! What’s going on?” his manager asked.

“Help me, Dom! ” Ron wailed. “The snakes! They’re everywhere!”

“Someone call an ambulance,” Dom muttered. “Come on, Ron, let’s get you up and get some fresh air.”

“I can’t stand up, you i***t! He’s tied me up!”

“Who has tied you up?”

“That man!” Ron wailed, not caring that he sounded like a scared child. He was terrified. “He’s right there, can’t you see him?” he shrieked.

“Nah. They can’t see me. Or hear me, but I can hear you and dude, you’re about to reach decibels only dogs can hear, so shush.” Tas held a finger to his lips and a snake wound its way up Ron’s neck and circled around his head, covering his mouth before transforming into a leather mask that held Ron’s jaw shut.

Tas put his hands on his hips. “You’ve been a very naughty boy, Ronald, and it’s finally time to pay for it.”

Guests came up to see if they could help and Tas made Ron see the faces of everyone he’d ever hurt. Ron screamed against the gag and fell over. Tas skipped around his prone form in a circle, passing through the people who loomed over Ron with broken, bloody, or dead faces. Then Tas crouched down next to Ron’s head.

“Do you remember them all, Ron? They remember you. You might need a little reminder.” Tas waltzed over to the dessert table and snagged a candle out of the candelabra. He looked over his shoulder as he ran the candle under the chocolate fountain.

“What was it you said to little Madison? It will only hurt a little bit, and then you’ll like it, baby? Was that it?” He walked back over to Ron, carrying the candle dripping with chocolate. “I asked you a question, Ronald. Don’t make me punish you for being defiant the way you punished your ex-wife.”

Tas scowled down at Ron and then began to laugh. “I forgot about the gag! How silly of me!” He snapped his fingers and the mask disappeared.

“Don’t stick that in my ass!” Ron screamed. “Please! I’ll do anything! Just please, don’t!”

“Jesus, Ron, are you having a stroke?” asked Dom. “Where the hell is that ambulance?”

Tas began tapping Ron on the head and on the face with the chocolate covered candle to a rhythm only he could hear. “Ronald, you’ve already done enough. That’s why I’m here! See, if I were Lucifer I would give you a chance to atone, maybe allow you to ascend out of hell into purgatory, cause no way are you worthy of heaven, but I’m not. That god operates differently from us, but you, thankfully, fall under our jurisdiction. And judgment has been passed!”

Tas stood up and yelled, “you have been found guilty and it is my delicious privilege, nay, pleasure, to deliver your sentence.” He dropped back into a crouch beside Ron, one eye pitch black and the other red. “Let’s play a game, Ronald. You like games, don’t you?”

“Someone please help me,” Ron begged.

“No one can help you, Ronald! That’s against the rules!” He punctuated each word by smacking Ron with the candle. “I know you’re a cheater, but I’m in charge now and you can’t cheat me.” Tas dropped the candle and clapped his hands in excitement. “I know! Let’s play Run Honey-Bunny Run! That’s what you used to play with Tina so I know you remember the rules.”

Tas stood up and hauled Ron off the floor to his knees. He recalled his tattoo to him and the ropes slithered back onto his arm. Ron stared at Tas in horror. “Ready,” said Tas as he grabbed his crotch. “Set.” Tas got in a crouch. “Go!” he yelled, but Ron remained frozen in place. Tas stood up; sulking. He gave a disgusted sigh and shook his head.

“You disappoint me, Blur. Oh!” Tas smacked his forehead. “Of course! I forgot the whistle!” Tas’s tattoo transformed into a real whistle and he blew it as hard as he could in Ron’s face. This seemed to startle him out of his terrified stupor and Ron bolted.

“Now that’s more like it! Don’t forget! If I catch you, your ass is mine!”