The Dark World

Chapter 22: What do you feel?

Marisoll

I had not realised the effect it would have on Cairn, having Ezekiel show me affection.

When he returned to us and warned Ezekiel of the permanent death a werewolf could deliver in wolf form, he had his usual smirk back on as if nothing had happened. “Shall we go?” He said and walked past us to find mystic Zerena. I did not understand the man.

When we set off again, I brushed up beside him and murmured, “Will you not give me an answer?”

“I thought I had,” he replied.

“You only want my body?”

He only smiled at me and walked ahead.

I pushed him making him stumble and glare back at me, and I gave him a sweet smile of my own.

As we walked on it began to feel hot, and I noticed a lake of fire, we were careful as we walked by it, but when I stepped on some loose stones on the floor my foot slipped out from under me and I found myself falling towards the fiery lake, I knew there would be no coming back from that, you would be trapped in your body for an eternity, unable to die a true death, and also unable to heal and recover while left to burn in there.

I felt a hand grab a hold of my wrist, felt myself being yanked against someone’s body as we fell, and they made sure to roll so that they would fall into the lake instead.

Mystic Zerena blasted a spell across the lake freezing it just as my saviors back hit it, sliding safely across the ice. I quickly jumped up to help and saw it was Cairn, both me and Ezekiel quickly grabbed his hands and helped him off the ice before the spell broke and the fire returned.

When we were safe, I looked to Cairn and said, “why would you risk your life like that for me? Only love would make one act in such a way.”

“I know,” he grinned, winking at me and then walking off.

I rushed to catch up to him and grabbed his arm. “Cairn! Are you in love with me?”

“Why are you so insistent on asking? Or is it that you are in love with me?” He smirked.

“Ugh! You are insufferable, forget it.” I pushed past him and walked beside mystic Zerena.

I heard him laugh behind me and was going to hit him but mystic Zerena stopped me and murmured, “leave him be, he is a stubborn creature, he will tell you in his own time, Cairn is not one to be rushed into anything.”

“When we fight the dark lord I am going to picture Cairns face, I will surely win that way,” I grumbled. She smiled and patted my shoulder.

As if my luck could not get any worse it began to rain down on us. The only one who seemed to be enjoying it was Cairn, he had his usual smirk plastered on his face, that was, until Ezekiel was making his way over to me, Cairn quickly rushed to my side and slipped his hand in mine.

I shook him off, and he tried to give me a confused face, “hey, what’s that for?”

“You know damn well,” I replied.

“No I do not.”

“If you are not in love with me then you don’t get to hold my hand.”

“A man has to be in love with you to touch you? Because you did not seem to mind all that much last time we were alone, nor the time the other night with Ezekiel.” When we both looked at him with wide eyes, he smirked, “yeah, I heard it all, every single thing, every single moan, so thanks for that.”

I punched his arm, “you don’t get to act all bothered when you tossed me aside as soon as you were done with me.”

“I did not toss you aside.”

“Yes you did, you just left me there in the river alone.”

“You were asking questions I could not give answers to, I never planned for you to find out I was a werewolf.”

“You could have simply shut me up with a kiss.”

He rose an eyebrow, “you would have liked me to stay with you?”

“Of course, i.diot! Why wouldn’t I?”

“I figured it was just a moment of fun for the both of us, brought on by the passion of violence.”

“I gave myself to you, did that not mean anything to you at all?”

He looked down at the floor as we walked and shrugged awkwardly, “yes, of course it did, I admit during the moment I forgot you were a virgin, but I do wish you would have said something while we were…in the throes of passion, I would have liked to have been much more gentle and careful with you, made it more…special somehow and for that, I am sorry.”

My cheeks felt hot talking about such intimate things and I put my head down, unable to meet his eyes. “You confuse me, Cairn, you act as though you feel nothing for me, that I was simply some female to use for your pleasure, but then you say sweet things like this, and then you mark me as yours and lose control seeing Ezekiel near me. I do not know what I am supposed to feel.”

Cairn was always the joker, always brushing things off, I did not know if being this honest would scare him off or make him pull another one of his tactics of brushing my comment off, but I wanted, needed to know.

He looked up at me and gently brushed a curl away from my face and said, “I never said I did not love you, did I?”

“So you do?”

He looked out ahead, breaking the eye contact and smiled, then he walked ahead of me and joined mystic Zerena. I suppose that was as much as he was willing to give at the moment, but I smiled, he did love me, but perhaps he was not ready to admit it out loud yet .

Ezekiel came beside me and asked, “you and Cairn ok?”

“I think so,” I smiled.

He gave a small nod and smiled back, and I realised the awkward situation I was putting us all in. “Ezekiel, can I ask you something personal?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“How do you feel about me?”

He gave an awkward cough and laugh and said, “I did not realise it was going to be that personal. Um, well, I suppose in these times it’s rather silly to hold back on what one feels, I am not one hundred percent sure how I feel, but it feels very close to love, I do not know when it happened, it just kind of came over me as I’ve gotten to know you.” He put his hand on my shoulder and said, “that does not mean you have to feel the same way, I do not want you to feel pressured or afraid to hurt my feelings, I know you have feelings towards Cairn.”

Feeling like my face was on fire I admitted, “I’m afraid I’ve gotten myself into a situation with you both because I feel the same way about you both.”

He looked down at the ground while we walked and was quiet for a while, he looked up at me and said, “it is quite obvious me and Cairn are not the best of friends, but I no longer wish to kill him, I know these days it is not uncommon for people to have more than one lover and I would not mind sharing you with him.”

I think my jaw dropped to the floor, he laughed at my expression and said, “I have some rules of course, for example I would want to spend time alone with you sometimes, preferably be intimate alone with you.”

My cheeks burned hotly again, I had not even thought about the intimate side of things.

An image flashed in my mind of the three of us, all naked, bodies moving in pleasure. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the image, I quickly shook my thoughts away and said, “then I am a very lucky lady indeed, although I do not think Cairn would ever agree to sharing, and certainly not with you.”

We both laughed, and he said, “most likely, anyway, it is early days, we can talk about such things if the opportunity arises.”

“I can hear you, you know,” Cairn called back to us without turning his head. My eyes shot to his back as he kept walking, but somehow he knew because he laughed and said, “werewolf, remember?”

With my cheeks burning hotly I rushed, “sorry, we were just talking about it casually, it did not mean anything, I know you would not want to—”

“Actually, I would,” he interrupted.

“What?” Ezekiel asked stunned.

Cairn sighed and came and walked with us. “I thought I wanted to tear you apart seeing you touch Marisoll, and I did, but, I’m not sure, I’ve always been taught that werewolves lose control, hell, I’ve seen it, felt it and experienced it, you should be dead for touching what the wolf sees as his mate, but for whatever reason I am ok with it, still might lose control sometimes, but otherwise I see you both as pack.”

“Is the wolf separate to you?” Ezekiel asked.

Cairn looked at me and smirked, knowing I had asked the same thing and shook his head, “no, I am the wolf, it is just easier to explain the wolf from the human, if anything, the human shape is separate from me, I am the wolf not the human.”

“Wait what?” Ezekiel looked as baffled as I felt.