Rebirth: Revenge of the Abused Daughter

My long and messy hair sticks further to my sweaty face and neck. Today is not my day... again.   ‘Tsk. It's like I'm out of luck or something. Did someone have me cursed by an evil witch?’ I utter in my head full of frustrations.   Letting out a heavy sigh, I play with the straw of my drink. Calculating my lunch expenses today here at Jollibee then deducting it to the only money I have in my pocket. I won't last another week if this keeps up not to mention my family cut me off since I already graduated. My parents think that cutting me off will help me become independent but it is not that easy. I have to get a job as soon as possible or I’ll die wide-eyed in the streets.   “If only things are that easy.” I sigh as I look at my folder beside me on my table.   The world is a really scary place. Competition and expectations are everywhere. They read your bio and credentials, not only that they test you out, and if you're not what they are looking for then better luck next time... if there will be the next time. Thankfully with my writing skills, I am managing to write stories and had them contracted to well-known platforms online. The money I am getting from my writings had made me going for 2 months but that is not enough for my parents, for them, writing is not a job. In their mind, a job is supposed to be something you work so hard for and being paid by a certain boss. I can't argue with them that writing is also a job for if I argue things will be a lot complicated for me. I have to keep looking for any work.   “I am happy writing stories and staying inside my comfort zone but…… if I argue this with them I am sure I will lose the fight.” I sigh heavily.   Almost all schools that I've gone to apply in had this ‘with experience' stamped right in front of their doors.   A fresh graduate from a not-so-known College with average grades... it sucks big time. Like, how on earth will I gain that experience if they won't accept me? Heck! I know I stutter a bit and my nerves get the best of me whenever I go in front. I can't help that. It's not my choice to finish this course either. Gosh! I didn't know much when I graduated from High School. Not even dreaming of what would I become as an adult. My dream was just to have a simple life, which I can eat, sleep, read books, and watch anime.    I wasn’t born rich but I am thankful that I was born to a well-to-do family. Born as the last of five siblings and named a miracle baby since our mom had me nearing her menopausal stage. That's me, Zorenia Asoncion. Even if I graduated from College and now a professional licensed teacher up until now I am still looking for a job…… which is a little bit harder than you think.   Anyway, going back to why I am so frustrated right now. Why do schools and companies nowadays look for experience in your resume? Like, come on… how can we get experience if they will not give us chance to have one? I have been looking for almost 6 months and hopes are starting to fade. I can see how my family is starting to get disappointed. What can I do? I am not a rich person who owns a company so not to look for jobs and hear countless ‘we’ll call you.’ from those companies.     Looking at my face, I look like an old woman now, pale face, dried lips, messy hair, and sweaty oily face, and not to mention my clothes are now so smelly and disgusting to look at. Well, how will I not become like this? I am fine in the morning but now… I have been walking none stop looking for any opening. I even tried various job vacancies just to have a job to earn money. It seems like I am cursed, might as well ask for some allowance from my parents again just to get me by for a month hopefully I will find a job even if as a dishwasher I will take it. But since my mom has this strict belief of money you will use you need to earn, what you use now you must pay. I have been stressed and tired lately. After graduation, I am already cut off by her saying I should have been saving as other kids do. Now here I am.   Ugh. Going back to all of these makes my head hurt. It's already a very hot afternoon here in the city plus my problem of living my life as a graduate. I've been jobless for almost 6 months now. When I graduated and tried to apply to every school that was open for hiring, I was relieved and disappointed at the same time... relieved that I was kind of free from teaching spoiled millennial of this age. Disappointed because I know I wasn't what they were expecting. That's why I decided to go home and help my parents run the family vegetable garden. But I never would have thought that I would only last a year in there after mom keeps on pushing me to be independent. It is like it’s just too easy huh, my crazy life.   Their look of disappointment and their constant ridicule still lingers in my memory. Yes, I am the last and the youngest child. Yes, I finished college and have a degree along with a teaching license. But they were disappointed that I didn't have a job during the year of applying to countless jobs that involve my degree. And they ridicule me not only that I was jobless; they even ridicule my weight, my appearance, and my laziness. Like, relaxing after finishing a chore is not so hot for them.   I am short, only five feet and four inches. Adding to that is my body weight which is over ninety kilograms. I have big bones and muscles. This concludes my Cordilleran ancestry from my dad’s side.   Honestly, I was not like this when I was a teenager. I only gained weight when I stepped into highs school and it worsens when I turn College. I guess that it’s due to my metabolism for I eat one cup of rice per meal a day and that's all, yet here I am. The ever so-called ‘big mama’ of our town folks, I am getting bullied from time to time. People I pass by asking why I am not dieting instead of asking how is my day or how am I doing. Like hello, I am not always eating but it seems like I am blessed to be fat like this.   Throughout the years of my life, it's like I grew up unlucky. Instead of being prosperous, I became a curse not only to my family but also to myself.   “It seems like I will only be great in my dreams tsk.” I utter.   I gloomily look outside the glass window while playing with my unfinished meal. Watching the street full of cars and people walking to wherever their feet lead them. Today, it seems that there are no traffic enforcers stationed at the pedestrian. It's just like any other day. Enforcers come and go but traffic is always there.   My eyes are somehow glued to one person for no reason, that old lady with a trolley followed by a young boy who is holding a ball. That old woman is pulling her trolley with a bag full of groceries in one hand while her other hand is holding her white cane. I'm a bit appalled that no one is helping her.    Standing up from my seat and discarding my unfinished meal, I take my folder with me, and I head out of the fast-food restaurant. Once I step out of the glass door then greeted by the guard with his repetitive greeting for the customers... I can hear the screaming of people around us. This is the typical city life… always so busy and moving.   Once I see the speeding car while beeping loudly for everyone to know that it's out of control. I run towards the young boy who is picking his ball on the street without looking ahead. I can see on my peripheral vision that some of the men also run out but I am a little bit nearer that's why I was by his side in no time.   Call it superhuman speed or adrenaline; I didn't even have the time to praise myself for an achievement that not once in my entire life can achieve at the moment. Gathering all of my strength, I push the old woman then carried the little boy throwing him off the road and saving him from his impending doom. But then the ear-piercing sound of the car’s horn erupted and the car is coming towards me fast forward.   As my heroic deed is being seen by others right at the moment, I can see my life flashing back to when I was a kid up until my adulthood. And that made me feel bitter.   With no job, not so much of a life as I read web-novels, web-comics, and also write here and there for fun with not even a hundred reads to my stories. My so-called friends are only acquaintances, hell... not even a boyfriend or love interest. Lastly, a born virgin until my death. How eventful is my life, isn’t it?   Tears flow down my eyes as I relish in my memories. The time that flowed feels like hours but I know that it was just a second. A second to even take a short glimpse at my memories, a second to finally realize that my life was boring, uneventful, and plain.   I wish to go on a time capsule and do it all over again changing what I haven’t done so far, just like what I read in web-novels or watched in dramas and movies. But... knowing that my wish will never become a reality I just succumb to pure grief.   As I relish these in my heart and soul. My eyes glance back at the old woman to see if she's fine. Then I look at the little boy crying on the side but safe I give off a satisfied sigh before a loud crash came and I blackout.