half/closer

half / 1

.......

Loneliness.

It's the word that bounded me. The flood of feelings that conspired me to step out of the entry of my birdcage and had me thinking that I was no less than an unfortunate girl just like the others.

It's the term that contained me inside my room, the moment when I burst out crying, realizing no one knows how unhappy I was. A time when you feel like you are drowning under the Austral Ocean while you see everyone around you breathing so effortlessly.

But the odd thing is, the person who had heard my cry is the only one who dragged me up for the first time. The only person who had given me ship to sail beyond my known limitation.

That's the one who brought me up to this point. The smell of breakfast, the faint sound of the cracking oily meat of the bacon under the fire while the AM radio announced that it was already time to gust out of the house and go to school. To spend my day with my peers, attentively listen to the teachers speaks, meet up with my best of friends at the cafeteria and occasionally, practice cheering routine after class.

I knew that it's always going to be an ordinary day. But an ordinary day is actually what I hated the most. That's why I move, I exploit and inspire to make a day more remarkable. To make each day counts since my loss afflicted the dates afterward.

Mostly, it's the only method that drove me away from memories — a timeless quest to destroy my own loneliness.

And this day was also going to be just like any others.

Extraordinary.

Different morning, then a series of flaws, a sequence of reminiscence, worthy chastisements and a midnight of possibilities.

And then an act of letting go.

...

"Mom, I have to go... I can't wait for the bacon anymore," I grumbled, tossing my keys inside my tote bag and then rounded our kitchen counter to walk close to my mother and peck her on the cheek.

"Sorry, honey... I didn't get to wake up early," my Mom, Monica, said with a defeated sigh, showing the wrinkles on the brinks of her blue rounded eyes. She seemed she had a lack of sleep and I knew the reasons why she couldn't bring herself to have a good rest last night. Maybe there's a possibility that this week would make her feel restless at all. Dragging... yeah, definitely.

"It's cool, Mom. I'll just drive through the Starbucks and order a strawberry waffle and a cup of brewed coffee."

My mother who adopted me delivered a smile, and kissed me back on my cheek. "You and your love with coffee. Okay, lady... go now or you're gonna be late to school. Your Dad and I has a dinner meeting later at evening so don't expect us to get home early, alright?"

I nodded, smiling at her. "Got it but wait... Do I look beautiful today just like you?"

"You're always beautiful, honey. That's why your sister held you and asked us to be our little baby."

I giggled. "Which makes me so lucky."

After waving my hand as a goodbye and kissing her cheek some more, I set off from our modern luxury mansion and approached my F-type black Jaguar sitting on our outdoor garage. I named her, Maleficent. It was pretty dandy model, odd for a student like me to drive around but my father insisted that we had money anyway so why not spend it in luxuries.

He would always say, 'Wealth brings strength, strength confidence.'

'And being confident is one of the key to success', my Mom added after.

But then my sister once opposed with, 'Success depends on your dream so I'd rather sleep all day than talking about bullshit."

And as a devoted little sister, I took her side and say, 'Let her sleep for when she wakes up, she will move mountains.'

We were an image of a perfect family.

Were....

Whilst smiling at the memories, I started the ignition, making my vehicle roared to life. Driving myself out of the gate, I gripped my wheel with one hand while the other reached for the aux cord, connecting it to my phone. I skimmed over my own playlist and soon, one of my favorite song put a smirk on my face.

It was Billie Jean.

I was an eighty's at heart due to my father's persuasion with his preferred music. I rarely listen to mainstream music that was popping everywhere but I had to resist the rhythm and rowdiness of those dubs because they typically could use in our cheer routine as a material.

Weirdo, I am, right?

In ten minutes, I had arrived at the school with ease. I could see my own cliques beyond the main building, talking or gossiping among themselves. I was very convinced that this day is going to incredible so I paced out of my car, chin up and poised straight, showing of my cleavage in all glory.

Tucking my blonde hair on one side of my shoulder, I walked towards the group but someone had to be stupid when they bumped against me, destroying my perfect grand entrance.

"Oopsie, I am sorry," a familiar girl said, which belonged to Tiana's best friend, for f**k's sake. When she lifted her eyes from her scattered books, she realized that it was me she bumped onto. Moving her head slightly sideways, Zoey spoke again with a unashamed quality on her tone, "Ooopsie, I really am sorry that I'm not sorry at all."

I scoffed, crossing my arms under my chest and then decided to kick the remaining books on the ground away from her. "Ooopsie, miss s**t-wanna-be, I am sorry that I don't want your sorry at all."

With a smug look on my face, I walked off, totally satisfied hearing her groan. For some reason, I felt that that girl is treacherous— I could see it in her dark eyes. When we met, it was disastrous. She called me a cootie queen, judging me based on what she physically had seen.

No, not naked. I think she refereed me as a slut because of the way I dress and the way I move. Well, most blonde with a gorgeous face like mine would usually refer by people as a dirty slut. Not that I act like it nor dress like it but the manners I would initiate, which they always misinterpret.

I was a wild jaguar with grace and assertive eminence — but I am not a slut, exclamation point. It's just stereotype sucks and first impression is a big thing, which is also sucks.

"Hilary!" the voice of our manager pulled me out of trance, stopping me from walking to my destination. Turning sideways, I watched Cathy, running from her beetle car to catch up with me. Once she halted, facing me, she breathed out, "Ry, I- I need to finish our rehearsal schedule for this week but without your coordination, I can't give it to the admin."

I was confused. "O-kay, but why me?" Cathy gave me a 'what the heck' look which reminded me that my captain was nowhere in the town because she had to be with her girl, Quinn Blackburn, after the party and the scary shootout. "Oh, of course. I need to coordinate with you because our captain is currently missing in action and as the co-captain of the Gail High 'Jaguar' Cheerleading Team, I have to take her responsibilities for the meantime."

Our manager nodded. "So? Would you like to tell the girls that we must rehearse today?"

"Today? No, not today. Today is payday," I reprimanded with an impish smirk.

Cathy was confused this time. "Payday?"

"Yes... Tiana and I have this important escapade after class and it must be done today. Not any other day, okay?"

"All right, so how about tomorrow?" she suggested, biting her lips and wrinkling her brows.

"Tomorrow is cool. Wednesday and Thursday are great. Make sure that the girls wear their uniforms on these specific days. We have to complete the first set from our captain's hop-and-pop video tutorials routine, number eleven from file folder letter B."

Cathy nodded as she followed, remarking my instructions on her note application but she was bewildered with the fact that I changed our usual Friday rehearsal. "But A always make us rehearse on Friday, you know that. So why the sudden change?"

I shrugged before tapping the junior's shoulder. "I know that but A also told me once that we also need to have some fun so she has this plan she called, 'uniform-to-pyjama-operation-for-happiness' operation. She is just currently busy right now with her girlfriend but I am also here to execute her dorky operation-operation so...yeah. There's no rehearsal on Friday this week because this Friday night is going to be our girls night, our pyjama party."

Cathy jumped in excitement as she beamed at me. "That's a brilliant idea! I'm so excited to tell the girls. And what a cool operation name."

I stared at her in disbelief and then shook my head. "Whatever."

Storming off, I left the thrilled manager at her own happy place and tried to find Bailey and Tiana. However, I found my boy, Alec, juggling tennis balls in the middle of the rustling students in the hallway.

I chuckled at the foolish scene as Xander, his best pal, smashed one of the balls with his palm, causing him to hit someone's head. However, it was not just any other head. Xander unintentionally hit the hardheaded, Khloe Summer.

Those hazel-green eyed glare fled a small laughter from my mouth, finding it adorable but I stopped myself halfway when I realized how I responded. No f*****g way!

Did I just— Did I laugh because of her? W-Wait?! Was she supposed to be with Quinn? I remembered that she insisted to stay with her in the hospital with Arisa. Hey, how could she bring herself to attend class after she was kidnapped and used as a hostage for just being a sister?

Is she alright? I questioned silently to myself while I witnessed the playful exchange between the Mohawk guy and the brunette bimbo who wasn't supposed to be in this place for all I know.

Oh gosh, I shouldn't think about her well-being. It was clearly not my business.

"What's in that blonde head of yours?"

My favorite curly redheaded queen interrupted my thoughts, making me jump slightly. I shifted my body, diverting my eyes off the brunette and confronted my friend while clearing my throat.

Looking at Tiana is always a challenge. She was always contagious and I was already absorbing her offbeat sullen behavior by frowning. She had valid reason though. She was having a hard time because of the news last night. Her father was a wanted drug lord, the news anchor announced and I bet it was the latest talk of the whole town.

Tiana narrowed her eyes at the sympathetic look on my face. She walked away, muttering, "So you've heard," and I followed her trails, noticing students giving Tiana's meaningful glances before whispering among themselves.

"Yeah, where's Bailey?"

"On her way," Tiana answered, stopping at her own locker and began to bring out her notes. "So I'm the school freak show now?" she asked, rolling her eyes, noticing the students hushed chattering and stares.

"Rose, just ignore them, okay?"

"They are telling the truth, though. I was the daughter of the drug lord."

Was?

"And how can I ignore all of this if it's all they're talking about? His wanted face and name are all over the news, papers and whatnot. I even heard some dude that I am the school's drug dealer."

Brushing off the unreasonable past tense, I decided to take a different approach to cheer her up. "Are you not?" I asked, feigning surprised while putting my palm over my chest. Tiana shot me a glare that could almost kill, earning a laugh from me while tapping her shoulder repeatedly. "I mean it does makes sense. You always go to school like you're at the top of the world— all dopey and fanciful smile because you had magic brownies for breakfast or something."

"You're not funny," the redhead grumbled, locking her arms in annoyance.

"It is very funny," I said playfully yet she still had this sulky expression on her face so I stepped closer and held her hands in mine. "Seriously, don't listen to them. You are not him. What he did has nothing to do with you. All of these people are bunch of idiots who only ever did is to talk about great people. Amazing people like me." I smiled and wiggled my brows. "Arisa, Bailey and you. Our captain is not here. She maybe busy linking thighs with Quinn right now on her own hospital bed but I am very sure that she will say the same thing to you."

Tiana sighed, taking in all my advice, but soon her eyes moved over my shoulder, changing her mood instantly. I turned to see her girlfriend with Zoey and some girl with an ash blonde hair that I only met once. I think her name was Madison, Addison, Peyton or something? Whatever... As if I cared anyway.

Patting Tiana's arms, I announced my farewell and headed to my locker, not in the mood to confront her best friend.

"Morning, princess."

I giggled, opening my locker while regarding the stud guy who had approached me. "Morning, Alec."

"You know what? I'm sick of hearing things about us being an adorable item. Adorable is not my style so really, I wanna break up with you."

I raised my brow at him in amusement. "You want to break up with me? Oh please, you're hurting me," I responded dramatically, placing my palm on my chest.

"You're suck at this," he commented with a chuckle. "You should've slapped me so that everyone will know that I'm the one who broke the Golden Queen's heart."

I laughed, shoving his arms with my notes. "Oh c'mon, it's painful enough that you want to call it quits even though we are not together in the first place. I don't want to hurt my hand as well just to get attention."

Alec narrowed her amber eyes in thought. "I agree. So why are we not together?"

I smiled at him before rolling my eyes. "Because when we kissed for the first time, we've decided that there's no chemistry between us at all."

Alec groaned, probably recalling that moment. "Yeah, gross. It was like kissing my cousin. Not that you were a terrible kisser, no offense."

I nodded. "Yeah, It was like kissing a stone, no offense."

"That's more awful," he complained, making me laugh once again.

Unfortunately, the school bell rang. The students scattered everywhere as I shut my locker close. Alec helped me with my books and he insisted to walk me to my class, not concerned that he might be getting late. He was truly a gentleman and only a few knew about it. He was a perfect boyfriend material and I should date him, love him and marry him in the future, a common plot but that would be boring because there was really no spark at all. So no to Alec despite everybody thought that we are in an adorable commitment.

As we set to head out, a commotion made both of us to stop. I turned around to witness that Tiana was having an argument with Timothy while Bailey recoiled behind her girlfriend.

In my relief, the argument didn't get worse but I still could see the mocking in Timothy's feature before he left and the fury in Tiana's jade eyes when Bailey tried to calm her down. I gave Alec a perceptive glance and he nodded in response, confirming his task.

Once I was seated in my own seat of my first period, my phone vibrated, alerting I had received a message. I quickly fished out my phone, unlocked it and read the message before the teacher's arrival.

From: Dumbo Octopus 

Is he the one? The Timofreak guy you were talking about? If he is, he's easy as cupcake. Meet me at your art studio later at lunch, alright? And don't forget to bring me alfredo, sweetheart.

Oh yes, great! Shifting my eyes to the sender, I sent a piercing glare at her direction, earning a wicked smirk from her lips that I had kissed at Arisa's party. I didn't like the idea of talking with her. Heck, I didn't like having her at my sight at all but I had to submit.

Because Khloe Summer was the greatest prankster I had ever met. And for some reason, she reminded me of someone— someone who tainted a mark in my life, the person who gave me a vessel to sail beyond my comfort zone.

Just someone dearly.

.....