half/closer

half / 9

.........

Tell a tale of a girl who was in turmoil, sitting on the lap of another girl at the passenger seat of a car. With arm wrapped across another girl's shoulder, she remained her eyes close. In unexpected safety and in unexplainable contentment.

For how long? I had no idea.

It was a bizarre gesture.

She was gentle. Against of how the people viewed her. In contrast to the first impression I had for her. Part of me didn't want to believe that she came for me, another part was confused and the rest of the feelings were somewhat imprecise. Of all people, Khloe was the one who comforted me to tender calmness.

She was the one who brought me inside her embrace.

For how long? Doesn't matter.

As our hands were entwined on my lap, the radio turned into another pop song I couldn't recognize. It was sweet but I tried my hardest to ignore the melody.

The last thing I wanted, is to make her feel awkward at our position. I didn't want her to retract her arms around my waist. I didn't want her to think that this wasn't right because it felt like it was not wrong at all.

It was not wrong to let your enemy with benefits to hold you like this. Like a normal couples would do, like a sugary lovers would do.

I didn't want to think of this as a wrongdoing because I knew that I needed this kind of hug just for once. It was my right to be contained like this after all this time. I wanted to relish the moment even if I knew for a fact that this was all an authentic illusion.

What brought me at this point?

Tiana. She was one of my closest friend and I truly value our friendship. She was like my sister to me, like I had Cassie— my long gone sister who had picked me as her sibling. To fulfill her role as a good daughter. To be a replacement once her life ended.

I recalled what I felt back then. When I was young and dumb, I was outside staring at the scene happening inside a hospital room. Mom was weeping, holding the lifeless girl she deeply loved more than anyone. The sound of the flat line was a torture in my ears while Dad was kneeling on the floor, head on his hands and crying in despair.

It was at that moment that I had promised myself to do everything I can for them. To make them feel my sister had chosen me right to gratify the fissure in their heart which she involuntarily formed when she left us.

And knowing that Tiana was inside the hospital room, struggling for her life brought back the feelings and memories within me that I preserved for a long time.

"Do you want me to drop you home?" Khloe asked in a gentle manner. "I can just drive your car and go back here for mine."

"N-No," I murmured, squeezing her closer. "I'm not ready to go home yet."

She sighed. "We can't stay here though. Do you want to grab some food and then we can go to the tree house if you'd like?"

I barely nodded, not planning to let go of her yet.

Khloe understood my unwillingness to free her as she pressed her lips on my temple. Her fingers stroked my hair in care then proceeded to lift my hand to place a kiss at the back of my hand. Her lips lingered there for a bit before her eyes averted to mine.

"You know what, I have an idea. Why don't you turn your feelings into an art? Let go of your emotions by painting my unfinished canvas?" she proposed, causing me to blink twice.

"Is that what artist do? They create art based on their feelings," she started to rant and I just listened to her. "It's just a suggestion, silly me. I just don't want to see you like this."

That perked me up. "May I know why?"

Khloe coughed blithely, shifting her head to the side. "I-It doesn't suit you. I mean, crying is nasty... in general."

I gaped my mouth in disbelief. My arms and hands undid from her. Squeezing my eyes tight, I just gathered that we were nothing more than rivals. It was an unrelenting cycle, actually. I would find myself clinging into her but would realize in the end that there were limits.

It was the reason why I sought to sleep with her. It means that I had won from the battle we initiated since the party, since the body shot. It was enough proof to say that I was truly the best kisser. I was keen to break the boundaries trusting that things would end between us afterwards. So that I could breakdown the cycle.

Shaking my head, I moved myself from her lap and stood outside her car. I needed to divert myself from what she had said to me. "I need my ice cream."

"Huh?" she asked, peering up at me with perplexity in her eyes.

"Drive me to an ice cream shop. I want my strawberry cheesecake flavored ice cream."

She released a heavy sigh before bouncing off to march around to the driver's seat. I sat back inside and observed her as she ignited the car.

Coincidentally, the ice cream shop we entered had the flavor I was craving for. I ordered my own premium sundae while she got a mango-flavored refresher. We seated at the far corner of the shop and dive in quietly.

"Feeling better?" her voice low as she asked.

I froze for a second with spoon in my mouth and then shook my head. I didn't bother to look at her at all. I was too upset about what happened to Tiana.

"Hey, look at me," I heard her say, causing me to move my eyes up forcefully.

I was a little surprised at her sight. She was pushing her cheeks with her palms while her eyes squinted.

My brow rose up. "What are you doing?"

This time, she stuck her tongue out, pulled her ears out and her pupils rolled back. Obviously, Khloe was attempting to make funny faces.

I chuckled, then laughed at her effort.

Khloe beamed. "I got you laughing."

I bit my lip to restrain myself from smiling so wildly. Scooping a portion of my ice cream, I offered it to her with a toothless smile. She leaned forward on the table and claimed her reward for making me feel better.

Khloe nodded, her tongue brushed her upper lip in satisfaction. It was almost alluring.... almost. I still couldn't believe I had this kind of relationship with her. I couldn't even name it. Let alone knows what I felt about her. Of course, I didn't feel anything.

As I mentioned, her group of wannabes and my group of awesomeness had a lot of fair share of encounters. However, because of her half-sister, Quinn, we hung out sometime ago. And from my observation, there was a little heat in the air but we did fine.

Her friends, Maggie and James were cool and it seemed like we harmonized due to unforeseen events, or more like troubling dealings. In the first place, we assembled because we ganged up to Olivia and Ella who had the knack to go against Quinn and Arisa's relationship. And just recently, we shattered down Timothy for hurting Bailey.

I wondered if it's going to be creepy if our groups became friends with each other. In all honesty, I wasn't against the idea. It was just Khloe started the war with Arisa for some nameless reason.

Maybe it was time to call for ceasefire.

The thoughts caused my stomach flip in excitement. In that way, I could spend more time with Khloe. It wouldn't be weird at all if people finds us together like right now. We were just two friends hanging out, nothing more.

"Oh s**t!"

My train of thoughts burst out when Khloe hastily duck down under the table. My brows bent down together at her terrified behavior. Peering under the table, I gave her a confused look.

She was mumbling something with pleading expression on her face and she waved her hand to shoo me away. Rolling my eyes, I sat back properly, only to get a sight of her friends, entering the shop together.

Maggie and James immediately recognized me. The latter gave me a polite wave and the former had a timid smile on her face. As far as I knew, they were panicking over what happened at school. However, it appeared like they got over it.

Together, they approached my space, not noticing Khloe at all. We were seated at the dining booth and there were occupied tables so they were distracting and totally covering us, especially Khloe.

"Hi, strange to see you here," Maggie initiated a conversation.

"Y-Yeah," I responded, forcing a smile. "Strange."

"Do you have company?" she asked, glancing at the glass of refresher Khloe forgot to take under the table with her. Stupid!

I grabbed the glass and sipped from the straw. "No, I'm alone."

She gave me a skeptical gaze with her dark eyes but eventually brushed it off because technically, she had to mind her own business.

"We're sorry about Tiana," James said with sympathy. Her girlfriend nudged him on his side.

"Yeah, sorry. It's all over the local news," Maggie just went along with her boyfriend.

I nodded. "And thank you for last night. You know, for supporting Tiana."

"There's no need for that." Maggie shrugged her shoulder. "We were just playing along with Khloe. And although there was a lot of tension, it was fun."

"But school sucks," James commented, rubbing his dark hair in annoyance.

We all agreed at that because of the raid. There was a little pause but Maggie instantly broke it.

"We just came here to take out some cake," she said while gesturing at the counter area. "We are hoping for you friend's fast recovery."

"Thanks," I replied in appreciation.

Once they grabbed their takeout and walked out of the shop, Khloe had finally came out her impermanent cave in relief.

"That was close," she remarked, placing her palm on her chest. She was totally exaggerating. I was thinking to reveal her out to her friends but it wouldn't be good because I initially lied about not having any company. It was going to be more suspicious.

And I was just thinking about the possibility of our unity but Khloe straightaway proved me otherwise. Her behavior apparently stirred my mood down.

"Is that bad?" I asked her directly because I was clearly upset.

She heeded the firm tone of my voice. "It's going to be weird?"

Yup, straight down to the hole!

"And why is that?" I crossed my arms defensively. "As far as I'm concern, our groups are already in silent ceasefire."

"Yeah, but that's different."

I frowned, visibly offended at her insensitive response. "How is this different? We are just hanging out as friends."

"You know clearly that 'friends' aren't exactly what we are right now," she hissed lowly, grabbing her refresher from me. "We are more and less than that. And it's going to be bad if they sees us conversing inside an overly-pink shop. People tend to assume things without any context. It's safer if they know nothing because there's nothing at all in the first place."

Fvck my life! In fact, she was one hundred one percent right but I had no idea why there was a sting inside my chest because of her declaration. Khloe and I were nothing but a game we started. We were living in completely diverse world. The only person who connected us were Quinn and Tiana. It just so happened that we agreed to a same purpose.

I cleared my throat to reclaim myself. "You're right. Nothing is going on with us."

Placing her glass on the table, she leaned closer and straightaway stared at my eyes. "But we can change that. If you want to, of course."

I blinked. "And what do you mean by that?"

Khloe leaned back to her chair and crossed her arms, her forest eyes still on mine. "I'm gonna admit it. You're a good kisser."

What?! Did she just?!

Yes! Finally! But it wasn't enough for me.

I scoffed. "Just good?"

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, one of the best. Happy now?"

A wild grin appeared on my face. "Yeah, so you're just lying because you wanted more of my lips, right?"

Khloe shrugged. "Well, why should I ask for less? I want to make out, you want to prove you're right which is true for me so why should I refuse?"

I nodded. "So basically you're a bisexual."

Khloe groaned. "No, I don't like labels. Let's just say, I want to have fun. Is that wrong?"

Damn! It was wrong in every way but I wasn't the one complaining. We both absolutely had fun. First, I was glad that she had finally admit it but something really penetrating me inside. She was saying it like kissing me, and making out with me is just sparing time and one of her high school adventure she would tell to her college peers for entertainment.

"So I won?" I questioned, narrowing my eyes at her. Why would she admit it anyway? Unless... Unless Khloe also wanted to end the cycle. She wanted it to be over between us.

"Yup, you won," she announced, clapping her hands together. "And that means, the battle ended. Of course, there's a prize for the winner. Congratulations, Hilary! You have now a privilege to be my friend."

I stared down at her hand she offered to me. I was stunned at her unexpected decision. Friends? Friends with Khloe? No way! Does it mean—

"And what does it mean to be friends with you?" I voiced out my confusion.

Khloe snickered, taking her hand back to herself. "It clearly means, no more kissing, no more sneaking and no more make out session. Just friends! So if someone sees us next time at this overly-pink shop, it will not be weird. And you've already won so there's no need to prove anything anymore, right? This is like a truce between us. So do want my friendship or not?"

My mood was getting worst and I knew that I shouldn't feel like this. It seemed like that I won the battle but lost the war. Why would she do this? Why would she want to end our battle by giving me what I wanted? I didn't want to acknowledge it but I wanted to continue the conflict we had made. I still wanted to have fun with her. Could she just not let me win and then we could also be friends at the same time? Was it hard for her to just change our set-up from enemies with benefits to friends with benefits? However, she was merely giving me two options. Friends or not? Without benefits on either way!!

Oh my god, Hilary! What are you thinking? This is what you wanted right?

To end the game by winning.

Imposing a slight smile, I raised my hand between us. Her eyes lit up, and then she immediately shook my hand as an acceptance, as a silent ceasefire between us.

"Friends?" she reassured, giving me a lop-sided smile.

I smiled back at her excitement. "Friends."

Yeah, just friends without benefits.

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