half/closer

half / 15

"I promise, I will make it up to you. Please forgive me, princess," the person who was the reason why I have invisible chains around my feet and who turned my life a bit miserable was kneeling in front of me, earning the attention of all the students in the hallway, making my life more miserable. He was trying to hand out the bouquet of roses and a plush teddy bear to me but I was still frozen at my own place.

I really wanted to blame it all to Alec. It was the easiest for me. Because of him, I was grounded for a whole month. And it meant one modified mobile phone with just a few contacts and one laptop with the custom-built operating system. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere before and after school. My Dad even hired a chauffeur for me to make sure I would follow by his rules.

It was all absurd. I was already a senior and he was treating me like a child.

"Can you please say something?" Alec insisted, standing on his feet with a heavy sigh.

Ignoring the buzzing of the people around us, I narrowed my eyes to Alec in exasperation. "Why would you do that anyway? Was it really important for you to talk to me that you sneak into my room without telling me first?"

He made a face of guilt and regret. He looked like a puppy despite the strong feature of his handsome face. "N-Not really," he said lowly. "It's just Xander need some help from you and he wants me to ask you if you're willing to help, that is."

"Xander?" I uttered in confusion. "I don't understand."

"Just accept this first, please. I'll explain it to you. It was just I came into your room at a wrong time and I don't want to happen it again. Seriously, your Dad is a devil incarnate," he stated, pushing the flowers and toy to me which I eventually accepted.

At the same time, a certain brunette was heading towards our spot. Immediately, my mood brightened. However, her eyes dropped at the items in my hands, then her gaze shifted to Alec then she glanced at me for a brief second before turning right the hallway, away from us without even giving me a smile.

Dammit! She seemed upset with me. I had no idea why. Was it because of Alec? Because the items in my hands were indicating that I was in a prospect of romantic possibilities with this man in front of me? I confirmed to her that I had no intention of involving myself in any romantic relationship which contradicting to what she had witnessed. So she must be thinking I lied to her. Well, of course, I lied! Because the truth is, I sought to have a romantic relationship... only with her. That's it! I had no care and shame anymore. I would just let things go out of control for the reason that I couldn't control them anymore.

However, it seemed impossible that she got upset with me because of Alec. It looked like she was more concern about why I stood her up yesterday.

I supposed to meet her at the tree house but because I was grounded and I couldn't reach her or anyone through any device, I wasn't able to inform her. I was hoping Quinn would tell her about what happened but it appeared like she didn't even mention it to her sister.

Jeez, the only way to find out was to ask Quinn and if she really had failed to even mention it to her sister, then I should talk to Khloe right away to give her my explanation. I didn't want her to think that I backed out from my art.

Setting aside the conflict at hand, I turned to Alec, seeking to know the truth. "You don't have to explain, Alec. Just tell me what you want, what Xander wants from me," I rephrased.

There was a hint of a skirmish in his dark eyes but spoke anyway, "Ry, this is going to be weird but Xander wants you to help him to get through Khloe. He really likes her and I think he's truly serious about her. They're dating, yeah? But the problem is, not exclusively. I mean Xander told me Khloe is stubborn and a closed off person and he can't get through her even if they're dating for almost two months now. Can you believe that?"

Okay? Stop! What the hell?! He was not even allowed to date my Klo in the first place so why he was complaining? Say who? Only Hilary Damien!

"But why would he want help from me of all people? He should've ask Quinn," I pointed out instead.

Alec rubbed the back of her neck timidly. "He did but Quinn straight out told him she doesn't like him for her sister so..."

Hah! Savage Quinn was rolling out again! Even so, I couldn't understand why Xander wanted me to help him.

Seeing he didn't directly answer my confusion, Alec sighed and leaned against my locker. "I don't know. Xander refused to ask Khloe's friends because they look like out of this world in a bizarre way and he gets the feeling that they won't cooperate. Then we both noticed that you guys are getting closer. Heck, you even asked her to drive you to school for a week a month ago when your car was under repair. That's a start of a good friendship, right? So you're the most suitable person he needs."

I nodded, finally had understood why they would confront me about this. However, Khloe and I's friendship was nothing like they were assuming. We were more than that. Well, I wasn't sure yet where we stood but it was none of their business.

Clearing my throat, I maintained eye contact to Alec, providing him a pair of honesty. "I forgive you, Alec. It's not really your fault. But tell Xander 'my sorry' because I can't help him about Khloe."

When the school bell resonated, I pecked him on the cheek as a sign of my appreciation before I stormed off to my first period without looking back.

The entire time, I was revolting inside. Really?! Xander wanted help from me. Why would I do that? It maybe conniving and selfish of me but he was talking about my Klo here.

Nevertheless, they were right. Khloe was a stubborn one. Yes, she'd already shared a little bit of herself to me last week about her dreams and whatnot. However, I was completely clueless about her open relationship with Xander. I had no idea which part of her she'd already shared with that guy. On how profound it was or to what extent... I didn't know how close they were. Hell, there was a universe inside Khloe so I wasn't even half-close to her whole being from what I gathered.

And there was that... insecurities began inside of me.

I never knew I would have to compete when it comes to someone's attention, especially against a guy. I was used to getting pampered and being spoiled by my previous relationship. But then, maybe it was the reason why there was no rush and excitement before.

Because Khloe was different. She made me feel things I couldn't even figure out. She inspired me to reflect on my life and be a better person than yesterday because of her thoughts and beliefs. She made me move and thrive for the future— for my future. Khloe sought me to be an independent woman— a great one on my own.

They were the reason why I despised Khloe being upset with me. Well, on the positive side, maybe Khloe being upset with me was a good thing. On the outside, she was a cool person. On the inside, she was warm. I'd never seen her express any resilient emotion except when she shared her dreams with me that night. I could see the passion in her eyes, the hunger and the thirst in every word she uttered.

And if she really was upset with me for a specific reason then maybe she was starting to feel things towards me. And it was the thing I was longing for—a spark of emotion.

•••••

I was eager to find out from Quinn about what I was dreading from first to the third period. So I rushed to the cafeteria when the bell rang for a lunch break. Arisa would be there and it would be weird to ask her girlfriend about Khloe but I had no care anymore. I was also certain that Bailey wouldn't even batter her eyes about it.

Gosh, to think I was becoming desperate because of the thoughts of Khloe being upset with me was still all surreal.

Once I reached the cafeteria, the usual bustling of the students welcomed me. My eyes moved to table B4— our table and I instantly frowned when I only saw the deceiving blonde fiend sitting there. I roamed my eyes to the whole place but I couldn't' see my captain and I found Bailey with a familiar guy eating on the far side of the cafeteria. And of course, I wouldn't miss Khloe who was with her clique, laughing while eating her food. Unfortunately, Xander was sitting beside her, making his move. It bothered me that I couldn't sit with her during lunch break.

Prominently disturbed at the sudden setup, I headed to the food counter first and grabbed a set of lunch before sitting across the oh-so-great Quinn Blackburn.

She was picking on her pepperoni pizza with a fork, a bored look on her face as she spoke suddenly, "We hurt without moving. We poison without touching. We bear the truth and the lies. We are not to be judged by our size. What are we?"

My eyebrow raised at her spontaneous question. "Ummm, Quinn. I don't know but where's A?"

"She's having a private lunch with her Dad. They were hoping me to join them but I refused," she answered without even looking at me. "And 'the Chase' wanted to talk with Bailey so I sent her away."

Oh, that's why he seemed familiar. He was the one who saved Bailey from Timothy. Turning towards my brunette friend, I noticed that she looked like she was having fun with her rescuer. Maybe it was a good thing for her to hang out with other people aside from us. I wouldn't mind as long as she's happy. It didn't threaten me that she would forget about Tiana or any of us because it would be impossible. However, I would still keep an eye on her. I didn't want to lose another soul sister because of a stupid decision.

"Words. The answer to the riddle is 'words'," Quinn spoke again causing my eyes to shift back to her, only to be frozen at her scrutinizing forest orbs. "We were not done talking yet."

I presumed she was talking about our argument in Arisa's room which was shortly interrupted. Fine, it wasn't really an argument but I could tell in that moment that there would be a future conflict between us. And it seemed that conflict would determine my resolve when it comes to Khloe.

"Then talk," I urged, pricking the steamed broccoli on my lunch tray before munching it in my mouth.

Quinn set aside her fork and leaned back, eyes unmoving on mine. "I will get straight to the point. Do you like my sister?"

The broccoli unexpectedly chocked me up and I immediately took the bottle of orange juice and drank the liquid straight to my throat. I coughed out in surprise and then heats rushed up to my cheeks at her shocking question. "W-What?"

"You heard me, Hilary. I won't ask again," Quinn responded and she was full-scale serious about this. Her presence was greatly intimidating, causing me to gulp tensely.

Okay, there was no point in lying anymore because I knew Quinn would see beyond it anyway. "Yes, I like Klo. Is there a problem with that?"

"And I get that you like her more than a friend," she stated with a smirk on her face.

I just simply nodded, seeing I had no obligation to explain further because I couldn't explain it anyway even if I tried to.

"I believe you, Hilary," she said, not surprising me at all due to the clarity of my firm tone against the noises in the cafeteria. "Khloe mostly confides in me, vice versa. She tells things to me about her. Things that are momentous. In fact, she just recently mentioned that that both of you were in a sort of intimate arrangement but decided to tone your affairs down to an honest friendship. But lately made another agreement due to an unknown intention from your part? That's absolutely illogical for me which brought me to a hint that you like my sister."

"But why—"

"Why did I keep my mouth shut?" Quinn interrupted with a giggle, then she took the disposable knife and fork and sliced her pizza as if we were just discussing the weather. "Because I thought it's not really that serious. It wasn't worth of my time and I completely trust Khloe. As her sister, there is some point in her life that I have to be protective of her but not this one. You both were just playing and I thought it was a harmless deal. But now that you admitted that you like my sister, the questions are, 'Does your words a truth or a lie? Are they poisonous and will cause harm? Are your words far more superior to your feelings?'"

My jaw clenched at her answer. "You believe me but you're thinking that I'm not serious about Khloe. You're thinking that these are just shallow sentiments."

Quinn paused as she consumed a portion of her pizza in her mouth. I averted my eyes to the food on my tray and just realized that I had already lost my appetite. She was indirectly telling me that she was against the idea of me and Khloe. But how could she talk about the truth and lies when she, too, was deceiving all the time? I couldn't even tell if she was really a genuine friend to us and a sincere lover to Arisa.

Quinn was the most difficult person to read among all I've encountered. She was a puzzle I couldn't figure out just like her sister.

"Don't get the wrong idea," she retorted, shifting her attention back to mine. "I won't interfere against your romantic saga with my sister. You can give her any kind of flowers, a box of chocolate, an invitation to a dinner date and whatnot. I really don't care about any of that because I'm more concern about the intensity of your feelings for Khloe."

I chuckled, rolling my eyes. "You say it like she also has feelings for me when in truth, I'm close to nothing to her. Now that I've told you I like her, are you eager to tell her about it so that she can reject me after?"

Quinn frowned. "Seriously, after all this time, you're telling me that you are 'nothing' to my sister."

My heart raced with her statement. "What did y-you mean by that? Are—Are you saying she likes me back?"

The notorious sweetheart burst out laughing causing me to flush in embarrassment. "Hilary, Hilary, don't flatter yourself."

She was mercilessly murdering my heart at the moment and she wasn't aware of it.

"If she doesn't like me, then why would you care about my feelings for her?! You're obviously mocking me right now."

Quinn shook her head in amusement before she turned her head and stared at Khloe's table. "That boy, Xander. He asked for my help telling me that my sister is hard to break. He requested me to aid him to get through her. Apparently, he wants Khloe to open up to him. That was exactly his words but I refused with the sweetest smile but inside, I was revolting. Do you know why?"

"What? Because you think his feeling is intense?" I retorted back with venom.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Because you don't break people you love, Hilary. How could he declare his feelings and ask me to break open my sister for his own delusion? How could he confess like that if all of his words are empty and damaging? If there's one thing I learned from loving Risa, then it's, you give your love the will to fly, roots to come back and reasons to stay. You don't force them to connect with you and you don't oppress them to do things they don't want to. Do you understand?"

I gulped at her declaration. Holy sh!t! That really struck the deepest part of my soul. She was right about everything. However, "But I'm sure that Xander didn't mean it that way. You're just taking his words seriously."

Quinn pierced me with her sharp eyes, causing me to gulp again. "Maybe you're right. But I can't help it... What he said to me, it ticks me off," she said and then her eyes softened as she heaved a sigh. "You won't understand. Khloe is... Khloe is not someone you can imagine."

I bet!

"And it's for me to figure out and not in an oppressing way, right?" I asked with an endearing smile on my face.

Quinn smiled back and it felt like a sincere gesture. "Right! And I know you're wondering but I absolutely have no idea about how she feels about you or for anyone at all. She maybe tells things to me but when it comes to feelings, she is a closed book."

I scoffed. "Then why were you saying like she completely doesn't have feelings for me before you told me that I'm not 'nothing' to her? Geez, you're confusing me!"

The blonde chuckled and I noticed that she also had forgotten about her pizza. "Because, I, too, have no idea."

"You suck," I grumbled before a smile crawled on my lips. "But thanks for the heads up. I appreciate them, really. Does it mean you like me for your sister?"

Quinn lifted her brow at me. "It's barely an advice and I don't like everybody who likes Khloe. It's entirely natural for me to go against all of you because you're all a potential slayer of my sister's poor heart. I'm that protective of her."

"Then why are you saying all of this to me? Those riddle, words and intensity and wings, roots and reasons," I countered, pointing my fork at her. "What are you, a poet?"

She just gave me a bland look. "They are warnings not to f uck it up."

"Okaaay?" I nodded and then narrowed my eyes at her. "But don't tell Khloe about my feelings. At least, not yet."

Quinn waved me off. "Oh gosh, why would I do that? Confession your feeling is a lifetime privilege. I'm not a kind of person who steals away those opportunities."

I nodded. "Good because I'm afraid she'll reject me."

"I don't doubt that. She doesn't like commitment which is I guess the reasons why she can't settle with Xander once and for all."

My jaw dropped at the revelation. "Oh god, this is harder than I thought."

Quinn smirked. "Good luck... May the best person win," she lastly uttered before grabbing her tray and then immediately stormed out of my sight.

Seconds later, the bell for the fourth period shrieked, indicating that lunch break ended. I looked down at my untouched food with a deep sigh. Dammit! Not only Quinn had me confused, she also starved me from her admonitions. Though I must heed all her words. They may be dramatic but it was the fact. No one knew Khloe more than her own sister.

In my peripheral vision, I saw Khloe and her bimbo were walking towards the exit of the cafeteria. In alarm, I stood up and hurried towards them, following her trails like I was in a man hunt.

"Klo!" I called out, not bothering to make a decent of what I usually call her outside the school perimeter. And it must be effective seeing that she suddenly halted, including her friends. Fortunately, her Xandie was still beside her. Maybe he could learn one or two on how to make a move for me.

Once I faced her, I looked into her eyes but she stirred them away from mine for a reason. She must be really upset with me. However, I couldn't help but notice a change of her expression as she stared back at me once again with a smug look on her face. "What? You want another prank to pull out on someone."

Gosh, was she thinking that I had pulled a prank for not coming yesterday at her treehouse? Ry, you have to explain at one go before she runs off. I was supposed to ask Quinn for help over this but after 'our talk', things unexpectedly changed.

Courage soared as my pounding heart concealed the fear in me.

"L-Look, Klo. I'm really sorry. I didn't show up yesterday because something happened. Dad grounded me for a month and I couldn't reach you at all. So again, I'm really sorry."

In that simple statement, her friends appeared to be shocked as they hung their mouths open. Xander was frowning as he turned to Khloe, probably baffled at my sudden apology. However, Khloe was being indifferent and all I ever wanted was to kiss her lips, to tell her that this was real. That it was me who was trying to connect with her. That it was me who was knocking on her sealed door to discover the hidden parts of herself.

Yet, instead of giving into my true desire, I just closed the little gap between us. Lifting my arms, I caressed the left side of her face, my head tilted sideways, and then my lips landed on her right cheek.

It was a light and a quick kiss before I made my exit, not fretting to look back at their reactions.

Because to begin with, I despised being late.

  •••••