half/closer

half / 21

"Sorry."

Khloe's word shot me up from my sketch paper. With a questioning look, I stopped from doodling my art portfolio website wireframe, baffled why my girlfriend had apologized suddenly, out of nowhere. We were working together in the public library, agreeing that we should give more effort for our goals now that my parents had allowed me to take anything I want for my future.

"What are you sorry for?"

Khloe looked down at her art concept with a frown. "Because I'm not a good girlfriend."

I gasped lightly at her statement. "Why would you think of that?"

"Well, If I was more deserving individual, it will be easier for you. Your parents wouldn't be against the thought of me with you and your best friend would be more accepting."

I sighed, placing my pencil on the table. "Klo, of all people, you're the one who's supposed not to give a s**t about their opinion."

Her overwhelming eyes found its way to mine. "Yes, I don't give a s**t about what they think of me but this is different because it's you I care about."

A smile crawled its way to my face. Biting my lip, I weighed down the idea of Khloe also being in love with me. However, I quickly put it on the back of my head. I wouldn't like to go there because it would surely stress me out. Not to mention, I visualized a scene last night, telling her the 'L' word and it flipped me out until dawn.

Moving closer to her, I placed a kiss on her cheek, not concern of the other people around us. Clicking my tongue blithely, I gazed deeply into her eyes, trying to put across my decision, my judgment, my commitment to love her. It was not just a strong feeling anymore. "Look, Klo... I'm happy being with you and no matter what they say about this," I whispered, pointing the space between us, "no matter what they think about us, I don't care because you're the best I've ever had. No one can compare to you, no one."

It was the truth. It might sound cheesy but yes, she was a trouble—a chaos but everything about her, everything— her rough personality, her fearless gaze and scheming laughter yet beneath those tough surface, she had a kind smile and warm nature and understanding earthly eyes — all of it dared me to fall in love with her.

And I did— willingly.

"So stop doubting yourself, okay?" I said sweetly as I intertwined our hands under the table. "It's their problem if they can't handle us together."

Khloe grinned as she tightened her hold on me. "That's really... mushy?"

I chuckled. "Is there a problem with that?"

She paused, pretending to think over, teasing me. "Yes, but I can live with that."

I shook my head, smiling to myself. "You have to because you're already stuck with me."

"I know," she muttered with a weak smile before the spot between her brows wrinkled down again. "But seriously, I feel so guilty. Quinn is having a hard time with Arisa. I understand where Arisa's coming from. She's concern with you and it's probably a real shock to her that her best friend who was claiming that she was straight at first, had suddenly decided to date her childhood enemy who she thought was also straight. And I feel guilty because Quinn is defending me which resulted in a fight between them. Does it not bother you at all?"

"Yeah, it does bother me. Bailey was even worried," I said with a pout then an idea popped, causing me to wobble our hands excitedly. "How about we invite them to a double date tomorrow?"

My girlfriend raised her brow at me. "Killing two birds with one stone, I like it. By suggesting a solution to our problem, you used it as an excuse to ask me out again. Pure genius!"

"If you don't want to then go suck yourself," I whined, tossing her hand off me.

I scooted away from her and sat on the far edge of the table. As expected, she followed and then seated beside me.

"Hey," she called, her voice was low enough as she poked me on my side.

I instantly hopped at her touch, earning her a sharp glare from me. "Stop," I hissed then proceeded to doodle random shape on my paper.

"Hey, shoes, will you go out on a double date with me and with those hard-headed lovers?" she asked, making me lower my head as I hid my smile behind my sketchbook cover.

"Nope," I mumbled with fake attitude.

She abruptly snatched my sketchbook, forcing me to turn my attention to her. "Go out with me, pretty please?"

"Why? You don't want to go out on a date with me, right? Our last date must be horrible for you." I said, rolling my eyes.

Khloe giggled. "Of course, I mean no, it's not horrible. And of course, I want to to go out on a date with you, especially, if they involve sucking."

My gaze headed back to her with a dagger. "You're gross," I whisper-yelled, grabbing my book from her.

She frivolously laughed. "C'mon, you're the one who suggested it."

I sighed dramatically. "Alright, only because you insist."

Khloe pumped her fist which made me chuckle. She pinched my chin and pulled me gently to her, placing a brief kiss on my lips. Smiles on our faces soon followed once we broke away, ignoring the murmur of the people sitting near us.

"Thank you," she mumbled, her eyes not leaving my lips.

My heart beat erratically, a couple of times already on that day. Then a growing fear reeled inside me again. But instead of voicing out myself, we focused back on our work at hand, building together the future ahead of us.

•••••

"Why the hell are we here?" Arisa asked, obviously irritated.

I looked over the window as I parked my car on Khloe's driveway. The first plan was supposed to be at the amusement park but her Mom wanted them to stay at home for some reason so we decided to just hang out together at her house, knowing Quinn would also be there.

"We're here to hang out," I answered nonchalantly, shutting down my car.

Arisa laughed bitterly, running her fingers through her smooth raven hair. "Look, I get it! You and that bimbo are together to the end of rainbow and crap. Everybody at school talks about the both of you. You're the latest freak show and fairytale bullshit so really, I get it already. Whether I like it or not, it doesn't matter anymore to you. So why do you have to drag me here to hang out with that Captain Bimbo?!"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't call her like that, at least in my presence. And duh! Your girlfriend is also one of the residences of that house," I retorted, pointing out the obvious, "and whether you like it or not, you'll come with me and make up with your girl for ignoring her for a week."

"Fine!" Arisa huffed out before opening my car door and hopping out with attitude. Opening my car door, I heard my phone beeped so I distractedly bounced out of my car while staring at the screen of my device.

From: Mine

I finally found out y Mom wnted us 2 sty home

I frowned at Khloe's message but shrugged it off as I walked towards the porch. I would find out anyway because we were already here.

Arisa was waiting there with an anxious expression which caused me to smirk. Shaking my head, I pushed the doorbell button and waited for the door to open. I could hear footsteps getting nearer and once the door opened and revealed a stranger, I shifted my eyes to Arisa in confusion.

However, it seemed Arisa knew this stranger who had dark hair, blue eyes, and pale complexion. And by the way my best friend was glaring at this gorgeous girl, I knew that she was in my captain's hate list.

"Oh, what a surprise, nice to see you again," the blue-eyed girl greeted Arisa with an annoying smirk on her face.

"Well, I'm not surprised you're here," Arisa retorted with venom, "I knew from the start that you're an incarnation of a leech."

My face creased as I shifted my eyes to the stranger who laughed bitterly at my captain's comeback.

"Oh, please, Valentine. Quinn and I are histories. I know that you're threatened at my mere presence but I assure you, my hands are with me all day. Can't say with my lips though."

The rage in Arisa's eyes became more prominent but before she could lunge at the girl, Quinn showed up in the doorway.

"Jane, you're not supposed to answer—"

Quinn halted instantly when she felt the heavy tension in the air. She gazed at me for an explanation but I just shrugged my shoulder because I didn't have an idea what's going on.

"Hi, love," Arisa beamed suddenly as she stepped into the house and pulled her girlfriend against her body, kissing her possessively.

The girl, who was clearly, Quinn's ex from what I gathered, rolled her eyes while Quinn was obviously taken aback for a moment. I fought myself from laughing at my Captain's possessiveness.

After a few seconds of heavy make out against the opened door, Arisa released Quinn with a shameful moan. She grinned wide at her girlfriend who was unfazed because of lack of senses, although there were sparks in her eyes. "Shall we?"

"Ummm," Quinn managed to hum before she turned her attention to me. "Ry, Khloe is inside and Jane, will you help Harry to  set up the griller machine?"

Jane just smirked and nodded, then walked back inside without any word.

"We'll just talk," Quinn added firmly, earning a worried expression from Arisa.

With a timid smile, I walked past them and invited myself into their home. I followed Jane quietly towards the path to the backyard. And finally, Khloe appeared from the kitchen and came out with an adorable smile on her face.

She was wearing an oversized hoodie, similar to what I was wearing which was the one she gave me the night that we admitted our feelings to each other. Her brunette hair was sexily messed up while holding a skillet pan in her hand. Although it was cold, she was only wearing a denim short, revealing her tan smooth legs.

I was about to approach and give her a kiss but someone appeared beside her, placing strong arms on her shoulder.

"What's up, Hilary?!" Harry hollered in excitement, a grin on his handsome face.

I unintentionally gritted my teeth at the sight before me. Harry, Quinn's best friend, was embracing my girl from her side and they seemed comfortable to each other.

"H-Harry," the sound of my voice was more like a hiss. "I didn't expect you to be here after a long time."

"True, it's winter break and we missed Quinn at holidays, especially my adorable girl," he exclaimed, squeezing Khloe towards his body.

I nodded, raising my brow. "Well, I can see that."

Khloe finally noticed my turmoil so she awkwardly pushed Harry aside with a nervous laugh.

"Umm, yeah. They missed a lot about me," Khloe stammered as she walked towards my spot before turning to Harry with a smile. "You guys really surprised us coming here. We're supposed to go on a double date today."

Harry's grey eyes widened. "W-What? You're in a relationship?! Why didn't you tell me? Where's he?!"

Khloe chuckled while I cleared my throat to get his attention. Harry tilted his head to stare at me incredulously. In a second, he put two together as he ran his fingers through his dark hair dramatically.

"W-what?! You guys are dating?! You're dating Khloe?!"

Jane laughed lightly at us. "That's new."

"Oh lord, Hilary? How did you do it?!"

I frowned, staring at my girlfriend in confusion. Khloe dropped her head and I could see that she was blushing for some reason.

"Do what?" I asked, clueless.

"She doesn't know?!" Harry questioned Khloe this time and my girl answered him with a lip bite.

"I don't understand," I spoke out.

Harry laughed in disbelief. "As far as I know, Khloe doesn't commit. But hey, you guys are only dating or I mean, both of you are really in a relationship? Like— Like exclusively committed to each other?"

"We're— Geez, Harry, Hilary is my girlfriend, alright! Why is it so hard to believe?!"

Harry gasped, dropping his jaw as he stared at me. "How did you do it?!"

"Stop your bullsh!t, Har," Jane exclaimed, throwing a sponge on his face. "She's Khloe's girlfriend, that's it!"

"But how did she do it?! No one ever gets to crack open Khloe to that extent."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Khloe retorted while I stood there overwhelmed by the new information.

I am Khloe's first?!

"It means you're stubborn—"

Their argument zoomed out of my consciousness as I realized what this all meant. I was Khloe's first?! I was her first relationship. I was the first person she risked for. Did it mean I set a high standard in her life? Did I move her, motivate her to open up for the first time? How? How did I do it?!

Was it one of the sign that she could possibly fall in love with me?

"Hil, are you alright?" Khloe's voice broke me back from my thoughts.

I blinked twice then gave her a stupid wide smile. "Y-Yeah?"

Khloe caressed my cheek affectionately. I would kiss her there and I would kiss her hard to prove that she was mine but Quinn and Arisa interrupted us.

"Okay, chop chop!" Quinn howled, clapping her hands thrice. "We gotta work together. I'll assign the tasks to each and everyone."

I ignored Quinn and just stared at Khloe, biting my bottom lip. I was obviously occupied at the moment and I had no concern for anyone at all. However, it seemed Khloe didn't realize how I valued her so much for risking— for letting herself be committed for the first time, for someone like me.

"Stop, eye-f*****g my sister and get your ass moving," Quinn swatted her hand in front of my face, surprising me, then causing me to blush hotly.

Khloe laughed, tossing Quinn's hand away from me before tugging me away.

I let her drag me out of the house. I was in a daze that I hadn't noticed that she was wearing a pair of ankle boots as we marched at the white pathway leading to their garage.

Opening her car door for me, she guided me to my seat. And before she ran to the other side, she bent slightly and placed her hands on my hips.

"Looks like Quinn and Arisa already made up," she spoke with a charming smile. "And I'm sorry, I know you're excited about our double date but Harry and Jane flew here without notice."

I looked into her hazel-green eyes and I was so lost— so mesmerized.

She laughed at my silence. "What? Cat got your tongue?"

I shook my head, my eyes dropping to her lips.

"What? Kiss?"

I nodded and she granted my wish, leaning forward and trapping my lips between hers. I lightly moaned at the contact. Damn! I always missed kissing her. Her lips were like a sun, making me feel alive more than anything in this world.

Holding her jaw and pushing the back of her neck, I tilted my head to deepen our kiss but in my dismay, she pulled away with a foxy smile on her pretty face.

"I'd like to make out with you so bad but we have to go to the grocery store first."

I frowned deeply. "W-Why?!"

"Were you not listening?" Khloe chuckled. "Our task is to buy steak and charcoal from the grocery."

My frowned deepened. "Why?"

Khloe tapped my nose with her finger. "Because we're gonna have a BBQ party in the backyard."

"Oh..."

My girlfriend shook her head before she closed the door and ran to the driver seat.

Holding her hand on my thigh, I watched her drive the whole way to the grocery store. The place was pretty near as she had told me so I didn't have a moment to ask her questions. Questions I really desired to ask.

We were walking through the aisle of the store, basket in my left hand while she held the other as we looked for the charcoal. Her eyes were busy scanning the items so to get her attention, I squeezed her hand and called her in a low voice. "Klo."

Khloe halted and turned her focus on me. "Yeah? What is it?"

"Is it true? I'm— I'm your first relationship?"

Khloe shyly averted her eyes away from me. She began to sway our hands unintentionally between us.

"Yes, what of it?"

A face-eating grin appeared on my face. "How? H-How did I do it? How?"

Khloe was amazed at my eagerness as she looked back at me. "How? I don't know. You should know better."

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking."

"I don't have any idea, too. It's hard to explain."

"Just try to put it into words," I said as I hopped like a kid.

Khloe cleared her throat., then scratched the back of her head. "Let me think first."

"Try the easiest you can think of," I prompted, the grin on my face was still there.

Khloe nodded, pouting her lips as her eyes shifted up as if the answers were there, above her head. "Hmmm, first of, and the easiest, you're physically beautiful. Not my type but you're literally out of my league. So why not?"

I nodded, encouraging her to continue. My beauty was expected but that was only a bonus I think. Khloe was not shallow so this reason was not entirely why she committed herself to me.

"I like a challenge and you're so challenging," she added, "Yeah, you're definitely a challenge to watch out for. You're so confident and you're fun to be with, not to mention, you're crazy most of the times. I like confident, fun and crazy."

"Confident, fun and crazy. Noted," I said, stepping forward and embraced her in my arms.

"And it seems there's no boring moment whenever we're together, you're comfortable and warm. We have the same interest in art, we love being creative. We're both nocturnal which is not really related and it doesn't really make sense, just wanna add that we're on the same waves most of the time. However, we are also opposites because you don't like Hawaiian pizza but I love it."

I laughed. "And then?"

Khloe sighed, her eyes were speaking to me. "I don't... know. You're different compared to everybody. I feel that— I feel that we're fit for each other. Like no matter when or where, I always think about you. You're always on my mind I can't fall asleep sometime at night until morning. That's the hardest part."

I pouted. "Why?"

Khloe gulped and I felt her tense at my question. "Because I— I heard that if someone is in your mind all the time, it means she's already deep in your heart. And it's hard because I can't really figure it out... I don't know how it really works," she murmured the last sentence before groaning. "Dammit! I know it sounds crazy but I think— I think I'm starting to fall... I mean, I know we're in the grocery store and it's not a romantic place and— and I don't know how to say this but I think I'm starting to fall in love with you."

I let out a gasp which she misunderstood.

"Sorry, I get it if you want space and then think about—"

"Me, too," I cut her off, hugging her closer as I buried my face in the crook of her neck.

"What?"

I giggled. "I'm also starting to fall in love with you."

Already fell, in fact.

I heard Khloe laughed in disbelief, squeezing me back. "Really? Really?"

"Yeah, really," I murmured, my eyes closed while treasuring the feeling of out intimate closeness.

We hugged for a minute there, not minding the people around us.  It was dream starting to come true. I couldn’t even fathom that I was in this scenario with this girl I despised so much at first. But now, I just wanted to hug her like this forever. But  Khloe pulled away again and then kissed my head affectionately.

"There's no turning back?" she asked hopefully and I eagerly nodded, looking into her beautiful eyes.

"No turning back."

•••••