The second chance love

Find what you are looking for

Tristan

5 years later

My hands are shaking as I stare down at the grave of Carley Drivel, beloved daughter and friend. I hate this piece of land, because there is no piece of her here. It is just an empty grave that reminds me of how empty my heart has been since the day I killed her. Not that the world knows that I killed her, all they know is that she was at the wrong place at the wrong time and ended up tripping and falling over the railing of my father's yacht. Funny how money can cover up nearly everything and my father made sure to cover it up, refusing to have his only son known as a murderer. Truth is, he just didn't want his name tainted by what I had done and I had let him do it, because I was afraid, or at least, that is what I keep telling myself, over and over again, but I am not so sure that I believe my lies anymore.

Carley's body was never found, even after months of looking for her. I know with the amount of blood she lost that it would've drawn any amount of predators and her body could've been torn to pieces, but a part of me loves to imagine her like the Titanic, stuck at the bottom of the ocean, still as beautiful and young, waiting for someone to find her. "I will find you, even if I have to keep looking for you for the rest of my life. I will find you." I tell her, my heart, whatever is left of it, breaks a little more. I told my father four months after the accident that I would stop trying to look for her, that I would put my focus on passing my senior year and then working my way up in one of his companies, and I did exactly that. I graduated top of my class, not that I was always the best student, but Carley was and I wanted her to be proud of me. After graduating, I studied full time as an electrical engineer and a marine biologist while working part-time at one of the top marine technology design companies in Miami. Now, I am about to use what I have learned to find Carley. She deserves to be found and brought home and after what I had done, I deserve to be punished with the task of ensuring that her story is told.

There are three main islands just off of Spain, Mallorca, Menorca and Ibiza. That is where I will start looking for her, and hopefully find peace along the way, though that is probably too much to hope for. I kneel down at her empty grave and place down the flowers, clivias, her favorite flower. It is the same flowers I have been bringing her every time I came to visit her grave, and like every time before, I relive the memory of why this was her favorite flower.

The first time I walked into her small apartment, I was taken by the amount of flowers in her house. There is hardly any furniture, but there are flowers everywhere. "Sorry, but if you haven't noticed, I am kind of obsessed with them." Carley says with a shy smile. It took me weeks to get her to bring me here after learning that her mother passed and she was staying alone. I am not about to make fun of her for having a house full of flowers, but I am curious about something.

"They are all the same flower. Why only these? Why not get different flowers and different colors?" I ask her.

"These are called Clivias. Aside from their beauty, they are also strong flowers and can survive in the dark. They are resilient, very hard to kill and they just turn out to be in my favorite color." The smile on her face and the way her eyes light up, makes me fall in love with the flowers, making them my favorite as well, not that I ever loved flowers.

I haven't cried a single tear since I stopped crying the day I lost her, but now, I can feel the tears drip down my cheeks, because I know this is the last time I will be back here, the last time I will stand at her grave and talk to her. I know I will be going to find her and I will bring her back home, but her grave is in JacksonVille as this is where my father was willing to have her funeral, but I will be laying her to rest with her mother, not here where this piece of land means absolutely nothing. I want to tell her again how sorry I am, how much I miss her even after all this time. I want to tell her that I love her, that I have always loved her and only her, but I would be wasting my breath. I should've said those things to her when she was still alive, not to the wind, hoping it will carry my useless words to her restless soul.

With one last tear, I turn and leave, drying my face as I harden my heart and straighten my spine. The only thing I can do now is find her.

My plane touches down in Spain and I quickly grab my onhand luggage and then make my way off the plane, trying my best to not imagine the last time I was here, or who was here with me. Getting caught up in emotions is not what I need right now. I quickly catch a taxi and direct it to take me to the nearest port in Valencia. The drive takes thirsty minutes and I use that time to think my plan over again. First I will travel to Ibiza, which was the island nearest to where Carley had gone overboard, and if I don't find any sign of her there, I will travel to Menorca and, after that, Mallorca. Between the three Islands, I have to find her, or at least get an idea of what happened to her body.

I get on the Ferrie, my stomach sinking like it does every time I get on any form of water transport. I try to focus on my task instead of seeing Carley standing by the railing, because I know it can't possibly be her. She is dead and I know my mind is playing tricks on me. I blink my eyes and sure enough, the woman standing by the railing is one with dark brown hair and looks nothing like Carley when she turns around. This happens every time I get on a boat, but still I can feel the disappointment every time I realize that it really is just my mind f*****g with me.

"You are a bit dressed up for the Island life. You must not be from around here." A voice says from next to me and I turn my head to look at a girl that seems to be a few years older than me. Her hair is braided into at least fifty tiny braids, pulled back into a headband to keep it out of her face. Her dress is nearly every color of the damn rainbow, but somehow it seems to suit her. She has pure blue eyes with laughing lines around them. It looks like she had a happy life so far and I can't help but hate her a bit for it. She gives a pointed look at my jeans and buttoned up shirt with my sneakers. Yeah, I look nothing like her.

"No, I am not a local and I don't plan on staying long." I tell her.

"That's a shame. I can think of a few women who would want to keep you here." She says with a wink, but for the life of me, I can't force even the smallest smile on my lips. "Tell you what. You go and try to find whatever you are looking for, but when you are done and by some miracle, we bump into each other again, i would like to introduce you to a few people, maybe you might find that what your looking for is in the places you least expect." She says, her hand squeezing mine in a kind gesture.

"Sure, but I doubt that I will ever see you again after I find what I am looking for." I tell her, not even bothering to ask her how she knew that I am here to look for something. This girl is already weird enough as it is.

"Only one way to find out." She says. Yeah, she is definitely a bit too strange for my liking.