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I can't Forget her

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Blurb

“Another tug and a yank at my chestnut curls and she snarls at me, “You are so much like her.”

This is something my mother often says and never explains. Though it is a great mystery to me it is also a blessing, for she always hurries from the room after saying it.”

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Ishaan’s birthday
    Ishaan’s birthday Ishaan was at a restaurant to celebrate his 21st birthday with his childhood friends. It’s been 5 years that he hasn’t celebrated his birthday. The December evening and the cool breeze was making him nostalgic. There was something different about this day, he didn’t know what though. The celebration was quite dull and Ishaan seemed to be completely disinterested. Although it was his birthday but he hated this day the most because it brings him a lot of bad memories that he is trying to get over since 5 years.   A waiter handovers him a greeting card that has "happy birthday to the most handsome and loving guy" written on it. In between the curiosity and confusion, a smile flashes on his face but before he could enquire, the waiter leaves.   After a while, he finds a note on the table "You have always closed your eyes to the things you don't want to see but you can't close your heart to the things you don't wanna feel and I won't let you do that" written on it. All these things leave him bewildered. But even before he could think the waiter comes up with a note again. "Tune mujhe pehchana nahi..I never thought you would ever forget me… {You haven’t understood me} Jaana mai koi anjaana nahi..I am someone very dear to you {My dear, I am not a stranger}   His heart skips a beat because he was familiar with these words. What he saw next, left him startled. A girl with a cake in her hands entered the room. His friends left the place and the two were all alone. They stared at each other for a while His eyes were filled with questions and her eyes were filled with regrets. He remembered the day she broke up and she remembered the day he proposed her. He remembered her words "We can't be together anymore". She remembered his words "We will be together forever".   He hated her for breaking his heart and she loved him for teaching her the meaning of love. Ishaan only wanted to know her reasons but all she had were apologies to offer. This birthday, it was their hearts that were burning instead of candles and it was their pain that wanted an end. She wished him a very "happy birthday" but she knew he wasn’t happy anymore. In a place filled with silence, her regrets, his complaints and their love, was screaming.   All of those memories were hitting them hard. He had too many questions to ask but his hatred for her didn’t let him speak. She had many things to say but her tears didn't let her utter a word. The silence in the room was killing them both. She had her reasons but she knew he wouldn’t be able to understand. He had too many complaints and he knew that she would never be able to explain herself.   “Why are you here? What has brought you here? Do you have any idea how badly you ruined my life? Do you have any idea of what I have been through all these years? You must be happy to see me ruined. You deserve applause for all that you have done. Do you still have anything to do or are you here to create a new mess? I have died for you every day and every second. I craved for all those moments that we have had together and cried for you day and night. You left me broken and now what are you here for?” He finally speaks with an obvious bitterness in his voice.     His eyes turned red and she was all in tears. She kept weeping because she knew it was her fault. She sat down and cried really harder asking for forgiveness but he didn’t bother to look at her.   “I....I....I am....Iam....Iam sorry....” she finally managed to utter these words.   “Sorry? What are you sorry for? Are you sorry for all those sleepless nights that you gave me or are you sorry for all those tears that I have shed for you or are you sorry for all those years that I have wasted for you?” He hollered in anger.   “I am sorry....I am sorry for everything...” She couldn’t stop crying.   “I don’t know why you are here but let me tell you that the first time I saw you and today, these two days are the worst days of my life. I never want our paths to cross ever again. I hate you. I hate everything about you.” he howled.   “No! No! Don’t say that. Please don’t say that.” she kept weeping.   “Why? Why should I not say that? Weren’t these your last words? You said you hate me and you were the one who never wanted our paths to cross again then why are you here? Don’t you hate me now?”  He couldn’t control his anger now.   “Please Ishaan, please. I will explain you everything. I have reasons. ”   “No! You cannot. There can never be any reason to break someone’s heart. There can never be any reason to break promises. There can never be any reason to ruin someone’s life.”   “I know...I know...Leaving you wasn’t right but....” She couldn’t speak further.   “But....But you still did.” He sighed.   She kept crying harder and what broke her heart was that he wasn’t affected with her tears. The guy who hated to see her cry and would do anything to make her smile didn’t wipe her tears today. She looked into his eyes and tried to find love but all she could see was hatred.   “Please give me another chance” she begged.   “Another chance, for what do you need another chance? To break my heart again” he questioned.   “No! No! To make things right.” she said.   “To make things right, okay, so you are here to make things right after 5 years. Wow!” he was irritated with her words.   “I know what I did wasn’t right but please give me another chance” she kept begging.   “I love you....I still do...Please listen to me” she cried.   “But I hate you. No, actually I don’t hate you. Hating you will keep me connected to you and I don’t want that either. I just don’t care. I don’t care about your existence.” He howled.   His words pierced her heart and she realised that putting back all the broken pieces together was not easy. She tried to find the Ishaan she left 5 years back but couldn’t.   “I don’t know what to say. I am sorry for hurting you, for leaving you, for never coming back, for breaking your heart, for ruining your life, for making you cry and I really mean it. I am sorry for everything.” She said looking into his eyes.   “It’s okay! Your apologies don’t matter now. You are late. You know, after our break up I used to wait for a text from you every day and night. I waited for you to call me and tell me that you weren’t serious about our breakup and that you still love me. I used to cry myself to sleep but the thought of you kept me awake. I missed you so much that I wanted to run to you and hug you tight but then I would realise that you hate me and suddenly you don’t want me in your life anymore. You don’t know how difficult it was for me to accept that you were no more a part of my life. I loved you more than anyone else but you left me for no reason, you made me feel worthless but I have moved on. It was extremely difficult but I did survive and now nothing can affect me, neither your love nor your apologies. I don’t have anything for you in my heart, you are a stranger to me and I would never want a stranger to cry for me. So wipe your tears, I have to leave now. Have a good day and a good life. Bye” He said his last words and left.   She missed the guy he was and she missed his love. She knew she couldn’t go back and change everything but she wished he could forgive her and forget the pain that he has gone through all these years. All the days they spent together lingered in the back of her mind but she realised that not all the stories have a happy end. She knew this was their story’s THE END.                                

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