For The Love Of Yuri

(For Erika) When I Turn My Back

"I erase you and empty you. But when I turn my back, I long for you..." ~From the Korean song "Even When I Die" by F.I.X.

xxxxxx

This was how it should be, right? This was the right thing for Erika to do after all that she had been through in that place, in that kingdom.

But then... why? Why did she keep looking for things that she would never ever see or touch, even moments that she won't ever experience again?

It had been days since she and her twin brother Yuri returned to the kingdom where we came from--Castalia. And even though the place that she and Yuri just went to in order to settle the things that needed to be settled, she could not deny the one-of-a-kind experience she had there. That place taught her a lot of things, of that she was sure of.

But... even though she finally returned, she still felt... empty. She kept on longing for something she should not have. How long should she keep this up? It was torturing her.

"This is seriously going nowhere..." Erika could only say to herself as she continued walking to head out somewhere. Though her activities for the day at the castle was done, she decided not to go to her room just yet.

Erika needed to go somewhere, just to take off every thoughts she had in her mind related to that place. This was wrong in so many levels. She should not have any reason to feel this kind of longing. She did not belong to that place and never would she ever be.

At least, she knew she wanted to think of it that way. But who was she fooling? All this time, she kept on doing this. But she knew...

She knew this could not go on forever.

She had been having dreams lately... on how she would be reunited with him...

Ways or even event in certain places in which she would be reunited with him once again...

ーーーーーー

One moment, he was standing there. Another moment, he soon found himself walking towards the shop that he had been looking at for a while now. Should he really do this?

But he must make a move, that young lady said to him one time. Or else, he would lose the opportunity to even say the words he needed to say to that woman.

For a long time, he wondered why he never let himself get attached to anyone other than the fact that he couldn't afford to have another important woman disappear in his life like that.

Not only because of his chosen path but also because... he doesn't want to have another reason to lose sight of the goal he had been trying to grasp all this time. He reflected on that when he was fighting for his life which was hanging between life and death at the time.

The woman entered the shop once again before he could even stop in front of it and finally show himself to her. He heaved one more heavy sigh and stared at the closed glass door of the shop. From there, he could see her quite clearly.

She looks happy... That was all he could think of as he continued staring.

At that moment, his mind was starting to flash some thoughts that he wanted to let her know for quite some time now. And that was when it hit him!

He took something from his jacket pocket and looked at it for a few moments before reverting his gaze towards the glass door to look at her once more. It was as if he was trying to regain the courage that was slowly leaving his body as moments passed by.

Once again, he sighed and closed his eyes. This was getting nowhere. He should really need to calm himself down. It wasn't supposed to be that hard, right?

Though he wasn't sure of the idea running in his mind, he walked once again. He could place that letter he was holding somewhere in which only she could see. When he stopped, he saw her entered her office.

Which means, no one would be able to see him from where he was standing. And that was when he took it as an opportunity to do the task he set in his mind.

xxxxxx

Sighing exasperatingly, she put down the phone angrily and went out of her office. If she only knew that it was just a prank call, she wouldn't have entertained it.

But then again, she had no knowing about the people who would call her there, right?

This wasn't something she was supposed to think of at the moment. She needed to get her mind off of anything unnecessary so she could concentrate on her business. Her assistant just took a least two days ago so she was alone in managing the shop.

But surprise took over her as she went out of her office and looked at her shop's glass door. Something was taped there.

She immediately went to the door and looked outside, trying to find at least a sign that the person who taped whatever that paper held (whoever it was) was still around the area. Unfortunately, she didn't find any.

Even so, the letter taped from outside her shop's door truly caught her attention. And it had also distracted her from thinking about that prank caller.

As careful as she could, she removed the letter from the door. There was no sender's name written when she inspected it. She went inside the shop before deciding to read it.

But as soon as she unfolded it, her heart skipped a beat at the sight of a familiar handwriting.

I'm sorry for leaving you that time. Can you still find it in your heart to forgive this stupid man who chose to let you go even though I really love you?

She couldn't think properly for a few moments because of that. Her heart began beating faster, as well. There was only one thought lingering in her mind at the moment.

With that, she went out of the shop...

...only to find him standing on the other side of the road.

They just stared at each other like that for a while. Until he did a two-finger salute with that familiar cheeky smile on his face.

As for her, she also smiled. But not finally releasing the tears that she had been holding in since she read that letter and knowing it came from him.

I still love you...

She might not say it out loud, but with the way their eyes locked that day, the truth should have been obvious.

ーーーーーー

...and here was another one. Just shorter, but just as sweet... All enough to make her wake up crying because she missed him so much.

ーーーーーー

Take me away.

She could only ask the autumn wind to do that to her. But who was she to even make such a request? No one had ever do that to her.

Not even him.

She let the orange-colored leaf that fell from the tree she'd been standing under for the past hour to land on her palm. For some reason, the sight had just made her smile sadly. Not to mention that it was a familiar sight, as well.

"You know, autumn doesn't suit you if you'll smile like that. You'll only make the atmosphere gloomier than it already is."

Her eyes widened upon hearing that. The wind wasn't playing tricks with her at the moment, was it?

But what would happen if she turned around just to check if her suspicion was right? Argh! This was going to make her crazy!

"I'm not a dream or an illusion, if you're thinking of it that way. I'm here and I've come back," he said that only made her heart beat faster than it was before.

She placed a hand on her chest to where her heart was. For some reason, she couldn't help clenching her fist slowly but she still hadn't turned around. Her feet wouldn't even let her move.

But before she could even do anything else, her eyes widened when a pair of strong arms wrapped around her from behind. Moments later, his hold on her tightened that only made her cry silently.

"It's been a while, I know. I'm sorry if I never even called just to check on you. But don't ever think that I would leave you and forget about you. Okay?"

No words came out of her mouth to respond to that. But she smiled and nodded.

ーーーーーー

As Erika finally reach the garden after sighing upon recalling those dreams, she sat on the first bench she could find there. She was not sure why she was breathing hard when all she did was to walk. Slowly, at that.

She closed her eyes... and from there, she saw his face.

A soldier from that place.

Even in the end, he was smiling at her as she left.

He said that he would wait... for as long as it would take. No time or powers or space or differences of the world they were living in that could separate them once that moment finally came. In the end, she never said anything.

And now... she knew. She was sure she missed him.

Were they truly fated to love each other like this? Separated by this distance? Unsure of what destiny was playing for them?

Honestly speaking, her mind was blank. She could not focus properly anymore. She kept on missing him. There was not a night that came in which she never cried whenever she thought of him and the moments they created together.

Maybe she was meant to suffer like this. After all, she did turn her back on him.

I turned my back on you... On us...

Erika stopped crying when all of a sudden, she heard someone called her name. She raised her head and looked around to find the source of it, but to no luck.

Where did that come from?

It was her silent question as she continue looking around. Again, there was no one there. At least, near the area. Until her eyes caught sight of a large tree planted on that garden.

It was something familiar, if you would ask her. She was sure she had seen this before.

Until it hit her!

This was the very same tree where she would meet up with him in that place. But... how come?

Soon after, she noticed something engraved on the tree trunk that near the ground. In a daze, she touched it. Before Erika could even stop herself, her tears began to blur her eyes and fell one after another.

My destiny.

And beneath those words, she saw their names engraved next to each other. Though written small, it was surely engraved well.

Despite the tears that continuously fall, Erika smiled at the sight.

"I wrote that not to make you cry, you know."

That voice again. Without a doubt, it came from him.

From the man she met during that time she stayed at the Blood Pledge Castle and fell in love with, without her realizing it as time passed by.

She stood up, slowly because she had a feeling she would collapse if she did it fast. Cautiously, she turned around. She did not want this to become just a product of her imagination if she turned around fast and find no one there.

Her tears blurred her sight once again as soon as she saw him standing just a few meters away from her.

Is this true?

"I thought it will take me a long time to come here and be with you," he said with a gentle smile that would always calm her heart after all this time. It was one of the things that she realized when she came to love him.

"How...?" Damn it! How could she not find the right words to say now that he was here, looking at her?

Was this really true?

"I know that I had never told you about this before. But I made a promise that you will always be my one and only destiny. That means I will do whatever it takes to let you remain by my side for always."

All Erika did was to cry. No words would come out even if she tried.

The next thing she knew, he pulled her close to him and embraced her tight. From there alone, she knew and could clearly tell that he was telling the truth. He was willing to defy everything... for her.

"Don't you dare stay away from me again. Are we clear?" he whispered firmly on her ear that sent shivers to her spine.

But Erika had to admit, she missed this. She missed him doing this, having this kind of effect on her.

"Only if you would still be there looking out for me and be willing to wait for me when I turn my back..." she said, her tone similar to that of her pleading to him.

"I'll always look for you wherever you are... And I'll make sure I'll find you and hold you close to me at the end of my search for you. I promise."

And she was sure... he would truly fulfill that promise for the sake of the love that they now found with each other...

THE END