Chapter 1
Howie Bosley was on his way to meet his two best friends for their weekly reunion and round or two of drinks. Kelly Beacher, Ernie Butler, and Howie had been friends since college. They were so tight and nearly always seen together that on campus they were known as The Three B’s.
They were roommates their freshman year, and it didn’t take long for them to discover all three were on the same page sexually. Eighteen year old hormones raging, they had soon become f**k buddies. But as they matured, their s****l interests and needs took them on divergent paths.
Kelly’s philosophy now was so many butts, so little time. He couldn’t see why any guy would want or need to tie himself down to one partner when there were so many hot hunks out there just waiting to be f****d.
Ernie on the other hand was more of a romantic, declaring that love was the goal. So, once you found him, never let him go. The only problem was, Ernie had found love so many times, was always disappointed, and moved on, searching for Mr. Right.
Howie agreed with Ernie. Love and a stable relationship was the way to go. However, unlike Ernie, he felt the expression of physical love should be reserved until you found the one, had gotten to know him, and had actually fallen in love.
Subsequently, Howie had never been in any significant relationship, as most guys wanted s*x to be part of the information-gathering process.
Yet, despite these different approaches to life, The Three B’s had remained friends long after they left school.
Howie walked into the dim light of the Pick-n-Play Bar—it was Kelly’s choice this week for the regular get together. Howie squinted around, trying to locate his friends. Apparently he was the first to arrive. He went to the bar, ordered a cosmopolitan, found a table, and sat down to wait.
He hadn’t been sitting more than a few minutes when a handsome, blond-haired young man in a tight, fuchsia tank that showed off an impressive set of muscles, came up, and sat down.
“Hi, I’m Jerome. Pass or play?”
Howie repressed the urge to sigh and roll his eyes. He smiled and said, “Thanks, but I’m waiting for someone, so I’ll pass.”
It was true. Not only was he waiting for Kelly and Ernie, he was also waiting for that special someone to come into his life and sweep him off his feet.
“Too bad,” said Jerome. “Well, if you change your mind and I haven’t found someone else, come find me.”
He left just as Kelly and Ernie walked up to the table. “Who was that?” Kelly asked, his eyes following the man as he walked away.
“That was Jerome,” Howie said, looking over his shoulder at the man as he sat down at another table, probably starting the same conversation he’d just had with Howie.
“And I suppose you said no to him—as usual,” Kelly said, and sat down.
Howie just gave him a withering look.
“Hey, if you don’t try a few slices, how ya gonna know which pizza you like best?” Kelly asked. “And this kid looks like a deluxe.”
“Let’s not do this again,” Howie said. “How are you, Ernie? How’s it going with the love of your life, um…Brad is it?”
Ernie had pulled up a chair.
“Brad and I broke it off.”
“Ah—too bad. How long were you two together? Four…or was it five minutes?” Kelly said and laughed.
“Screw you!” Ernie retorted. “I did meet a guy in the produce department at the grocery today. His name was Wesley. He was buying cucumbers.”
Kelly snorted. “And the way he fondled them told you he was the one for you, right?”
“Stop,” Ernie said with a chuckle. “Although he did have a very provocative way of handling them. We’re going out tomorrow night.”
“Go for it. And let us know how he handles your cucumber,” Kelly said, laughing. “I’m off to the bar. The usual, Ernie?”
Ernie nodded.
“You ready for another?” Kelly asked Howie.
“No, I’ll nurse this for a while.”
When Kelly left, Howie said to Ernie, “I don’t get it. You just walked up to some stranger, decided he was gay, and hit on him?”
“Well, how else are you going to meet halfway-decent man? In here? It’s the Pick-n-Play, remember. All these guys want is a quickie. Isn’t that what that Jerome kid was after? This isn’t the place to find the love of your life.”
“True enough, but the grocery store?” Howie asked.
“Yes, especially in produce. Guys who do their own shopping and are shopping for vegetables are usually stable homebodies who want a nice loving relationship.”
“But what if he wasn’t gay?”
“Nothing ventured, nothing gained,” Ernie said offhandedly. “Where are you currently looking for love?”
“Where is who looking for what?” Kelly asked as he returned with the drinks.
“I just asked Howie where he was looking to find a man.”
“Look around,” Kelly said. “What do you see?”
“Men,” Howie said with a sigh.
“Duh!”
“You know as well as I do that the guys in here aren’t looking for what I’m looking for—at least not in the way I am,” Howie responded.
“Which is?”
“Not hopping in the sack on the first date. Getting to know one another, falling in love.”
“You’re a dreamer. Nobody these days falls in love without first testing the waters,” Kelly said.
“He’s got a point,” Ernie chimed in. “I’m looking for Mr. Right just like you are, but nobody’s gonna wait to have s*x. At least not for long. It’s what’s expected. Besides, it can be fun. There are a lot of Mr. Wrongs that are hot as hell in bed. You gotta kiss a lotta frogs before you find…”
“Yeah, yeah, I know—before you a find a prince, I’ve read the story, seen the movie,” Howie said with a sigh.
“Come on, Howie. You used to be pretty hot in the sack yourself back when we were in school, as I remember,” Kelly chided.
“Things change. I’m not judging you guys, but it’s not for me. I want a relationship built on more than s*x,” Howie said.
“I can see it now—ole Man Bosley, that funny old bachelor that lives down the street, alone with his cats,” Kelly said melodramatically.
“Make fun if you want to, but I will find someone who wants the same things I do. And leave Sergei and Katya out of it,” Howie said, thinking of the two Russian Blues he had at home.
“Okay! Okay!” Kelly said, holding up his hands in surrender. “But just where is it you intend to find your saint? Where can you find a man like that except at church socials, and we all know how you feel about those.”
Howie winced. He had been raised a very strict Catholic and had long since given up on churchiness. Not that he didn’t believe there could be some higher power—God, if you will. He just couldn’t abide organized religion.
“Maybe I’ll meet someone at my gym.”
Kelly laughed. “That old man’s gym you go to? Now there’s an idea. They advertise, We’re a no judgement zone, so they get all these overweight, out of shape, old guys that aren’t into real fitness. Good luck with that.”
“They may not be models or bodybuilders, but at least they’re not stuck on themselves. There are some really nice people there. And they do care about real fitness, not just cosmetics.”
“Again I say, good luck with that. Anyone ready for another drink?” Kelly asked. “Ernie’s buying!”
Ernie punched Kelly on the shoulder and got up to buy another round.
“Maybe you could advise one of your clients on more than his retirement at that financial firm you work for. You could say something like, ‘You and I could retire in Sarasota very nicely on this nest egg I’m building for you’.”
Howie gave Kelly another withering look. “They’re all old enough to be my dad, and besides, it’s not ethical to hit on your clients.”
Kelly chuckled.
“There are a couple of very nice guys who volunteer with me at the shelter though,” Howie said. “Unfortunately, they’re married…but we get new volunteers regularly. Maybe someday, someone will come along and…”
“Jesus, Howie. The animal shelter? It doesn’t exactly qualify as a dating service. What do you get there for volunteers? Bleeding heart nerds, right?”
Kelly knew immediately he’d gone too far. Howie was the volunteer coordinator at a large animal shelter, and Kelly knew it was very dear to Howie’s heart.
“Hey, man. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be flappin’ my jaws. I just want you to find the right guy and be happy, if that’s what you really want.”
“S’okay,” Howie sighed. He knew Kelly had a point. Even though Howie didn’t agree with Kelly’s characterization of the people found there, neither the gym nor the animal shelter were likely to be the ideal place to find the love of your life. However, you never could tell. And, in Howie’s estimation, they were more likely to attract the kind of man Howie was looking for than a gay bar or a muscle gym.
The evening wore on, and the friends talked about other things. About eleven-thirty, Jerome came over to their table.
“You about ready to go?” he asked, placing a hand on Kelly’s shoulder.
Howie and Ernie looked questioningly from Jerome to Kelly. Kelly shrugged. “I found him at the bar when I got the last round of drinks.” Kelly laughed. “He looked lonely, so I thought I’d take him home. See you guys next week. It’s your pick, Howie. But let’s not go to Isabelle’s Tea Room again.”
“Screw you,” Howie said.
“That’s my job tonight, Sweetie,” Jerome said, massaging Kelly’s shoulders and smiling at Howie.
“We’ll have a little discussion about who screws who later…er…Jerome…is it? See you guys,” Kelly said as he got up to leave.
“Jerome is kinda cute, don’t you think?” Ernie asked Howie as he watched Kelly and Jerome go.
“I guess.”
“Maybe he is just a lonely guy lookin’ for love in all the wrong places,” Ernie said.
“Well, if things don’t work out with your cucumber-stroker, you can give Jerome a whirl when Kelly’s done with him, and he will be after tonight, you know,” Howie said.
“Hmm. I just might do that,” Ernie said.
“Christ, Ernie, I was only joking,” Howie said, “You wouldn’t really, would you? He’s just a kid!”
Ernie shrugged. “Why not?”
“Oh, come on, the guy’s a pick-up slut.”
“Ah-ah, judge not lest ye be judged. You can never tell what’s in a man’s heart until you get to know him. You can’t tell a book by its cover.”
“You’re just full of clichés tonight, aren’t you?” Howie quipped. “I’m heading home. I’ll text you and tell you where I’ve decided we’ll meet next week. And it won’t be Isabelle’s Tea Room,” Howie added when he saw Ernie begin to say something.
Ernie laughed. “Good night, Howie,” he said.
* * * *
As Howie drove home, he considered what his two friends had said. Maybe he needed to expand his search area. And maybe he did need to be just a bit more relaxed in how long was acceptable to wait before having s*x. After all, his approach didn’t seem to be getting the results he wanted.
He pulled into the garage of his condo, rode the elevator up to his floor, and opened the door to his place. He was greeted by enthusiastic mewing, as well as leg rubbing, as Sergei and Katya, his Russian Blues, rushed to welcome him home.
“You guys certainly are the poster kids for your breed,” he said affectionately, as he picked up both cats, walked to the couch, and sat down. There was much loud purring and begging for tummy rubs. Russian Blues—tight bonds with owners, standoffish with strangers until they got to know you, Howie thought as he stroked the lush fur of the two steel grey-blue felines. When he’d first adopted the brother and sister from the shelter and brought them home, he’d hardly seen them. They headed for the closet in the guest bedroom as soon as he walked in the door. That still was their favorite hide-out whenever Howie had friends over. Even Kelly and Ernie, regular visitors to the condo, rarely saw them. Kelly even accused Howie of making them up, likening them to imaginary childhood friends to fill his lonely, sexless life.
“Well, you sure aren’t imaginary to me,” he said as he got up to feed them.
However, once in bed with the two cats snuggled on either side of him, Howie thought of Kelly’s quip about lonely Ole Man Bosley, the funny old man living alone with only his cats for company.
He absently stroked them, saying, “As much as I love you two, I don’t want what Kelly said tonight to be prophetic.” Howie resolved to be more open-minded about his search for a mate.