Chapter One: Get Out!
*** Trigger Warning Domestic Abuse***
*** Lisa's POV ***
I stood at the entrance to the living room as he was on his phone doing whatever it was he did, probably talking to one of his female circus monkeys. I took a deep breath before getting the courage to walk toward him. I can not do this anymore! I can’t handle his lying, cheating, and drug dealing with women he has had s*x with in the past and present to feed his ego. My heart was pounding, and my body was trembling. I had cried the whole time he was gone, knowing fully well his intentions. He knew I did not want him to go to her house to sell drugs. Being with a man who sold drugs was not the life I wanted.
Yes, I smoked herbs, but I used them to help with my anxiety and appetite. I did not want to be involved with any drug dealing of any sort! That lifestyle scared me, especially since he would scam his drug dealer from his earnings. When I met Darrin, I was in a very vulnerable place. I was in a previous abusive relationship that lasted over seven years. I had known Darrin through their mutual friendship.
I kept to myself for the most part and took up writing. I loved writing. It helped me escape the reality of my misery. I could be anyone or anything. I wrote a successful book about werewolves and villains with a lead female who was trying to find her way in the world. The villain, a sizable murderous werewolf, was based on my experiences with toxic men, a manifestation if you will. I guess you could say I attracted these men, or they were able to sense that I was an easy target.
My book sold wonderfully and had fantastic reviews from women who could relate to these circumstances. I felt like I was succeeding somewhere in my life. God knows I was not thriving with the reality of my situation. I had made a name for myself and earned decent earnings from my sales. The only problem was that most of my money supported us.
Darrin glanced up from his phone. The TV played in the background, reflecting the light off the walls. His grey eyes and profoundly lined face looked at me. It's incredible how handsome I thought he looked during the love-bombing stage.
Now an ugly fifty-year-old man who couldn't even get his d**k hard was sitting before me, balding with an ugly, messy beard. It reminded me of some sort of animal with mange. How any woman found him attractive was beyond me. Although, I figured the women would sleep with Darrin primarily due to wanting the drugs he had.
I was thirty-six years old and most of the time I felt like I was the only adult in our relationship. He was too busy stuck in his victim mentality, when in reality he was always the reason. He had problems or issues with anyone.
"What?" he asked me with his annoyed look.
I walked into the living room closer to him. I felt the soft fabric of my nightdress against my cold flesh from the lack of weight, brush against my skin. Then, finally, my body started to tremble, and my palms began to sweat; I had to put my foot down!!
"Stop being such a pushover, Lisa, and say it!" I screamed to myself in my head.
Darrin looked at me and rolled his eyes. Ugh!
"I don't want you going back to Kristy's house again...." I stuttered.
“Way to sound firm, Lisa.” I thought to myself.
"Excuse me?" Darrin asked, lowering his phone.
Great, now that I knew I had his full attention, I braced myself for what would happen. My stomach started twisting into knots, and the nausea waves began to wash over me.
"I said I do not want you to go back to Kristy's," I said a little more firmly. Good job, Lisa!
"And why the f**k not?" Darrin asked annoyed. I could see his pupils dilating.
The TV's light bounced off his face, making his eyes look gaunt. I could see him grab tightly onto his phone.
"Because I know you guys have f****d in the past, and given your history of cheating on me, I do not trust you to go there and not put your d**k in her," I said calmly but firmly. I wasn't planning on saying that much, but there was no going back.
Darrin slammed his phone onto the couch's armrest, and his body shook with rage as it swam over him like a black shroud. He leaned forward as his face contorted into a hateful expression.
And that's when the bomb went off.
"Boy, I like how you get your information…" his voice shook with rage.
"I didn't say you did it today," I replied calmly, despite my body screaming to run.
I knew he had f****d her today, or so a little bird told me the same little bird told me about them getting caught f*****g in the past when she was barely eighteen. He had a thing for underage girls, one of the many secrets I discovered about him as our relationship progressed. It's funny how I was the only one who shared all my skeletons in my closet, and I had to find out about him in bits and pieces from others. Each dark secret made me hate him more and more.
"I LOVE HOW YOU GET YOUR f*****g INFORMATION! GET THE f**k OUT OF MY FACE! f**k YOU!" Darrin thundered, his hands clenching into tight fists.
His face screamed guilt, the same facial expression when I caught him with the other girls. I didn't want to deal with this conversation anymore, so I turned around to head back to our room. I grabbed my laptop that I had already packed while he was gone.
"Yeah, I figured that's what you would say," I said coldly to him.
I don't even think it hurts at this point. I just felt stupid to consider that a piece of s**t like Darrin could change his ways and be decent.
"Yeah, you should figure I'd say that. f*****g accusing me. f**k you! It never happened!" he yelled at me as I closed the door behind me, locking it.
I didn't want to hear the bullshit.
"Yeah, go slut around for work some more," he said loud enough for me to hear.
I gritted my teeth. I had gotten a job as a phone s*x operator to earn some money because we were struggling. I asked his permission to do it months in advance, and he strongly encouraged it. He even took photos for my profile and private sales. He was involved with the whole process and knew it wasn't a fantastic job. The only request that he had for me was that I not masturbate on the phone with the clients.
I agreed because that wasn’t my intention. Nothing the clients said to me ever turned me on anyway; there were some real freaks out there. Everything I did, I told him. He had even agreed to video calls if they paid well. The most I did was dance around in sexy outfits and show my t**s.
Hell, I was on a call with a regular while Darrin f****d me so the client could hear. But ever since I caught him cheating, his only rebuttal was that I was cheating too! Clearly, he did not understand what cheating was. I hid nothing from him, and he did not complain when the money bought parts for the car or the clothes on his back.
I pulled my packed bag, which I had tucked away, out of the closet. My documents and money were in my backpack. I already had my laptop bagged up since I haven't been able to write much nowadays, as I was either too sick or depressed.
"f**k you…" Darrin's voice growled out from the living room.
Boy, he was original with his insults. I just rolled my eyes and made sure I had everything ready. My phone was on the nightstand along with my meds.
I stopped dead in my tracks as I heard his lighter hit the glass on the coffee table and his heavy footsteps walking toward me. I felt like I was going to throw up. My body suddenly got very cold. Maybe he was just going to go to the bathroom? I was either stupid or just hopeful. Probably stupid.
Suddenly, he slammed on the bedroom door. He tried to open it and realized I had locked the door. Panic was flooding me, and I had no escape. The windows were too high, and I wasn't strong enough to lift myself out the window. My heart was racing, and I could feel a pulse in my gut.
"You better open that f*****g door!" he shouted through the door.
I'm surprised the door was still attached to its hinges after he struck it. I hesitated. Maybe he would go away if I ignored him. He hit the door harder this time, and I saw it splinter.
I cautiously made my way to the door to unlock it; after I tucked my backpack back into the closet, hopefully out of view. I was worried he would slam the door into my face. I quickly unlocked it and stepped back just in time for the door to swing open.
The sound of my heartbeat was flooding my eardrums. I was only able to catch on to bits and pieces of what he said as what stood before me was his six-foot-two body shaking with rage as his face flushed red with anger. His pupils were little pinpricks amongst the gray that were his eyes. Darrin tightly bawled his hands into fists, and he raised his shoulders like a wild animal getting ready to attack.
I wasn't scared of him. Instead, I was terrified of what kind of condition he would put me in if he came after me. Darrin stormed into the room, pointing his shaking finger barely an inch away from my eyes.
"Why do you bring up bullshit that never even f*****g happened? You better rely on your f*****g sources! f**k YOU! Take your f*****g prissy ass and find yourself a f*****g home then, b***h!" he shouted at me, his spit flying out and landing on my face.
I stood in place and looked at him calmly, my body was tense, and I was getting ready for the worst. I could feel the heat coming off his body. A part of me was hoping he would have a stroke from this screaming. Unfortunately, he didn't have a stroke; he just walked away after punching the door again. Lucky for me, he didn't touch me. Instead, he stormed off down the hallway back to the living room.
"Keep that door unlocked b***h!" he snarled.
I quietly walked to my nightstand and grabbed my phone. I held my phone down by the side of the bed so I could discreetly call 911.
I wanted to leave here in one piece.
"Go find yourself another f*****g place," he loudly snarled again as he made his way back up to our bedroom.
"Hello 911, what's your emergency?" asked a man at the other end of the phone.
I quickly whispered to the man at the other end of the phone.
"Shh, I’m scared for my safety; he's coming back."
Darrin stormed by to go to the bathroom to relieve himself, glaring at me. I sat down on the bed, pretending to look for my medication. It was believable behavior because it was about that time of night for me to take my meds. Darrin just kept muttering about bullshit and cursing nonsense. I hid my phone so that he couldn't hear, but the 911 operator could hear what was happening.
Darrin left the bathroom and went back down towards the living room, glaring at me again, and calling me names. None of it hurt. All he ever did was degrade women and call them bitches and gashes. I heard him slam his lighter on the glass coffee table again as he shuffled around, trying to decide what to do next.
"I need someone to come help me get out. I am at 14989 West 5th Street, and please hurry," I quietly told the operator.
I was startled by the sound of him taking the baking pan from dinner off the counter and smacking it down. Then he flung it across the kitchen and dining room. It sounded like it landed in the living room, hitting the wall with a loud, metallic clanking sound.
"What was that?" the operator on the phone asked quietly.
"A baking pan…." I whispered, getting my medication bag packed and ready. I dared not move until they got here. I would blow my cover.
"The officers are on their way, ma'am. Does he have any guns or weapons?" the operator asked.
"No guns because he is a felon, but plenty of knives...Big ones too," I replied quietly.
Tears started to spill down my face, and I felt stupid! I felt stupid for too many reasons. I was trying to see the better in Darrin, which hurt me in the long run. Darrin had been destroying my mental, emotional, and physical health. Then, I heard his footsteps moving around again.
"I have to go; he will catch me," I whispered back before hanging up.
I quickly deleted my phone call log for that number. It was quiet for a few minutes before a loud pounding came from the front door.
I jumped in my skin as I knew what was waiting for me on the other side of the door, the police had arrived.
"You have company at the door; answer it!" Darrin shouted at me angrily.
I just ignored him. I never had company come over.
"f*****g useless," I heard him mutter as he got his lazy ass up off the couch and went to answer the door.
I almost wanted to be a fly on the wall because of the look on Darrin's face when he opened the door. I got up onto my tiptoes to peep through the crack of the curtain. To my surprise and relief, I saw four squads outside with numerous police officers. Thank God they came prepared. I couldn't make out what they were saying very clearly.
"We got a phone call from a concerned neighbor about some yelling and slamming sounds," an officer informed Darrin. Darrin was asking why they were even at his house.
"It's my house. I can yell and curse as much as I want, and if I want to break something, I can!!" Darrin snapped back at the officers.
The police were in no way, shape, or form intimidated by him. They had dealt with him often, but Darrin had to act like the tough guy. Unfortunately, he was only a bully when it came to helpless women. I saw an officer look around before catching me peeking out the window at him. He quickly looked down at the ground as his colleague questioned Darrin some more. They asked him what his “version” of the events was. Of course, he lied.
"I went to work and came home to her bitching and yelling at me about cheating like she always does, and I had enough of it," Darrin explained, calm and relaxed.
Lying son of a b***h! He doesn't work. I work for both of us. My tears of fear had now turned into tears of pure rage.
"I had to put the b***h in her place; she's crazy. But you know how insecure women can be," he said, elbowing an officer in the side like it was social hour.
That was what they wanted to hear, what they needed to get to me. I quickly disappeared from the window and sat back on the bed, hiding my phone between the mattresses. Then, I heard Darrin's heavy footsteps coming back to me. I quickly wiped my tears away from my face.
"The police want to talk to you to see if you are OK or some s**t," he grumbled as he dug for another cigarette.
I quickly but quietly made my way out to the officers. They had their lights flashing in my face as I stepped into the middle of their huddle. It was so cold out. I started to shiver. I didn't have enough weight on me to keep warm, and I didn't think about grabbing a coat or boots because I was scared.
"What happened here tonight, Lisa?" an officer asked me as he stood closer to me, trying to provide me with some protection from the cold.
OK, just be honest and tell them calmly what happened.
"He went to a girl's house today to sell drugs! He was NOT at work, and I was not okay with this because they had s****l relations, both today and in the past. He is risking my health by sleeping around and coming home to me. I need to get out of here. Please let me leave tonight! I have my things packed, and I just need to leave here safely, please! Don't let him hurt me," I begged quietly as hot tears poured down my face. My body was shaking from the cold and the stress.
"We will get you out, Lisa, don't worry about it..." whispered an officer, trying to reassure me I would be safe, but the officer got cut off as Darrin made his way back outside to stand next to me.
I didn't want him standing next to me. Did he just think that after that blowup, everything could return to the way it was? f**k no! I stood frozen in fear. Darrin saw the look on my face, the tears covering my face and nightdress. Darrin let out a snide chuckle.
"What's going on here?" Darrin asked, looking at me, clearly pissed off.
"What's happening is that your story doesn't match what Lisa is saying here. You are abusing this woman, you will be coming with us for domestic abuse and disorderly conduct," a more prominent officer said, taking a step toward Darrin.
The officer next to me pulled me away from the door as Darrin sneered at all of us.
"It's not against the law to curse in my own home or yell for that matter. I didn't touch the cunt! Have a good night and get off my doorstep," Darrin snarled as he turned around to walk back into the house.
"Hold on, you are not going anywhere!" said the most prominent officer. He grabbed hold of Darrin and quickly pulled him off the threshold. Darrin looked at me with a death glare.
"You are under arrest and will be coming with us. I think we see what is going on here," an officer shouted as they wrestled Darrin to the top of the garbage bin.
"Officer Jennings will read you your rights when he gets you into the back of his squad car," said a more petite officer, guiding me back into the house.
It took three officers to get him to cooperate with the handcuffing. I heard him yell out at me, which caused me to freeze in my steps.
The officer stood at my side with his hands on my tiny shoulders, trying to offer me some sense of safety.
"IF THAT b***h ISN'T OUT BY THE TIME I GET OUT, THERE IS GOING TO BE A BIG MESS TO CLEAN UP! YOUR PROBLEMS HAVE JUST BEGUN, YOU HEAR ME b***h? GET OUT!" Darrin screamed at me from the squad car.
My tiny frame was shaking from rage. I wasn't planning on being there when Darrin got out, so f**k him.
"Lisa, you need to find a safe space to stay until you can get back on your feet. My wife wouldn't be too happy if something happened to her favorite author, you know," the younger officer beside me said with a small smile as he rubbed my back.
"I have my bags packed and ready to go. I just need to grab them and leave. He can burn whatever I leave behind. I don't care anymore."
I cried a mixture of happy, angry, and other emotional tears that I couldn't figure out, but I would in due time. I grabbed my bag and laptop, along with my medication bag and phone. Then, I grabbed my coat and boots and walked out the door.
"Please take me to this address, sir," I asked politely as the officer helped me get into the back of the squad car.
"Sure thing! And Lisa..." the officer said through the separation window in the squad car. "For what it's worth, I am so glad you are leaving him. You have amazing skills. You helped my wife out with your books. Her ex was a piece of s**t too."
I smiled quietly in the seat while listening to the sirens go off. Darrin was in the other squad car smashing his window and trying to scream at me. He never believed in my dreams and said my writing was all lies and bullshit. I think it was just that I was exposing people who did the same things that Darrin did, and he knew he wasn't sneaky enough for me.
Now I am free and can move on to something better. I tuck my messy long hair, now soaked in my tears, behind my ears and wipe my face off as best as possible.
I got this!